Losing motivation after a few years

Hi all, worked a few years in buy/sell-side.

I don't hate the job much but the job itself is very depressing everyday under intense mental pressure (MD/D chasing non-stop for trivial stuff, seeing layoffs happening on the street, demanding clients asking non-sense).

I have switched jobs a few times but then the job nature doesn't change. Layoff continues and bosses are even more demanding now when layoffs are happening.

Originally, I felt like quitting and switching jobs would be something worth to consider. But the recruitment process is very exhausting. Lots of applications and lots of time spent on refreshing basic technical knowledge, finding excuse to buy time for interviews on a workday, requesting for coffee chats, etc.

At the end of the day, I may still end up with the same time of job. Working on deal admin, data mining that is known as due diligence and facing same type of pressures as above. 

Anyone else also feeling lost? I just don't see any way out. There is no such thing as exiting. Whether it is buyside or sellside, it is the same group of people. Stability and intensity ultimately depend on people and luck rather than the job itself and I just feel tired attempting to hit the jackpot.

 
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there isn't a way out. sure you can exit to another PE firm but it'll be more of the same, maybe a slightly less soul sucking asset class like TMT and then when you get promoted to VP and have a fundraising quota your sleep quality deteriorates even more because you have to eat what you kill and sure the money's great but your blood pressure will rise almost in lockstep with your W-2, but it's alright because your carry will get you fuck you money by 40 so you can sacrifice a little bit now.

not to belabor the point I've said on here for close to a decade, most people with dissatisfaction in their jobs aren't necessarily in the wrong jobs, but they've not taken the time to reflect on their priorities, they want something that doesn't exist (low risk, low stress, high pay, can't have all 3), or both. take a pause, turn inward, and ask yourself what you really really want out of life and then build a plan to go there. I know it's possible, but you have to create the environment, it won't come at you in the form of a linkedin headhunter. for example, @m8 is able to make his money while travelling a significant amount, and that seems to give him the reset he needs. I know a director of a FoF who lives in a ski town, has a compact clientele, maybe travels 6 times a year for business and has tons of time to be with his young kids, makes great money as well. 

here's what I'd do if I were you - interview people who are in remotely achievable jobs for you and have lives you want to lead, not jobs you want to copy. I say remotely achievable because you won't get much help from lebron james or a billionaire tech founder, but you could get a lot from a small PE firm principal who doesn't have a huge fund but makes great coin and has a great life. learn their story, how did they get to where they are, what's their current day to day lifestyle like. have many of those conversations, and again, the holy trinity of low risk, low stress, and high pay DOES NOT EXIST.

godspeed

 

I feel like it comes down to being two different people inside of work vs outside of it.

In work, get into the zone. Know that it’s shit, accept it, and do what you need to. Keep a positive attitude, do the work you need to, learn nuances that make things easier or quicker. Remember that there’s life beyond.

Outside of work, enjoy the simple and small things in life. A good coffee, a nice walk, friends, whatever. It’s important to not let finance become your personality. Don’t let the bank win.

I feel like this forum is filled with hardos that portray that there is nothing else to life but a title and a pay stub, no matter what kind of no-life hours you have to do to get there. Don’t become that. Enjoy life.

 

Just become emotionally numb at work. That’s what I do. Just don’t give a fuck. Your boss yelled at you? Who cares, you’re just there for the paycheck. What ever happens, happens. That’s my mind set. 
 

Look up stoicism, it might help you. 

 

I agree with both of your points. I pulled a late night last night but didn’t mind because I know I have a great job, and doing my best work for this job allows me to do what I want outside the office

 

I've always dealt with this by reminding myself that everything is fine if I get canned.  And I don't have any unusual source of money, just the typical built up over a mid-level finance career.

Hard to get stressed about trivial things at work when you don't need the job.  Of course you want the job, and I'm not looking to get canned either.  But it's just one of many opportunities at the end of the day.  And that keeps me level headed about work setbacks and also allows me to be honest in the office and push back when I feel like it.  Biting your tongue about BS can really crush the soul.  

 

Feeling the same way as you actually. Moved from a sales role (pwm) to corporate banking and not sure how I feel about the situation.  In pwm I never really did administrative stuff and most of things were in my control…I was getting paid to talk to people. Now I feel similar and feel a loss of motivation. What is helping me is working out more, doing my best to drop bad habits (easier said than done), and meditation. Working on improving things outside of work to hopefully gain more clarity and a different perspective. Maybe that could help? But look on the bright side, you’re on the buyside and you are probably very employable in many different functions. So you do have options that may suite your needs better. I’ll add that I feel like this has been a common sentiment amongst working individuals after the pandemic. 

 

I'll be honest too many people put too much worth and attach their identity on academic and corporate prestige; I know that I did, but in the long run while attending Cornell and working at McKinsey is a great way to achieve status it won't bring you life-long happiness and fulfillment. These goal(s) are just adopted mimetic desires that come from being over socialized in culture that idolized corporate tycoons and a gilded professional plutocracy such as Bezos, Musk, Gates. You played the wrong game and now you accomplished everything you set out for and you still feel empty and not self-actualized.  I experienced the same phenomenon: I attended a T-15 school, studied computer science, interned at top tech companies such as LinkedIn, Lyft, and Twitch, and I was miserable. 

So many people who go into finance, medicine, law, and now tech value prestige/status/money and use it a surrogate for items that matter in a healthy and balanced life such as adventures, creative hobbies, relationships. So, when a person makes all of those sacrifices to reach their career aspirations they are feel with a void because it's not what they truly intrinsically desired. 

A great book is Mastery by Brian Greene that discusses about how authentic people are when they're adolescents and how we compromise our true selfs due to socialization and how we should "rediscover" ourselves to and reintegrate our authenticity in a socially pliable way. The happiest people I ever seen where those who worked on things they truly wanted to work regardless of status/prestige and have a healthy social environment, was physically active/abled, and had relative freedom/independence. 
 

 

If you are an experienced person then the world is yours. Believe in yourself and don't give up. Right now the world is changing and also in Corporate life so learning something new helps you stay motivated and follow your passion until death. Taking a break after some time will help with creativity and refreshment. if you believe in yourself, there are many solutions in the world. 

 

Had a very similar experience.  At the end of the day, I realized that the grass really isn't greener anywhere in the industry, the job is shitty/depressing, but I don't really know how to do anything else and it's better to just embrace the suck and bank the $.  The alternative is leaving the industry entirely and taking a huge paycut.  Better to just hang on for another 5 years and retire than work an entirely different job for 20 more years.  

I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done
 

Bro what? Agreed that 'grass is greener' is overused mentality but it actually is greener in several parts of finance relative to IB. AM for one where at a good AM you're working 45-55hrs a week and making solid money (300-600k as a junior analyst, 700k-1ml+ as a senior analyst) doing intellectually stimulating work. Still has its own annoying things but I'd easily put this above IB / PE

Another example I'd give is late-stage private growth investing. Again your hours should be 50hrs generally and 60-65hrs when deals are about to close, and it's also intellectually stimulating work. Not as much cold calling / cold emailing as early stage either. 

Don't sacrifice the best years of your life in a career you dislike working 70+hrs a week man. I'm not even sure if 5-8yrs in IB is enough to retire on anyway 

 

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