My New Internship Is So Ballin

How ballin is it?

Well,
I can wear whatever I want
I can come in and leave whenever I want
Everyone is cool and laid-back
Very few females, but every single one is cute
Free good food
The bathroom has an air dryer, and three types of paper towels! And really nice stalls where the separator goes all the way up
I get a key card, so I feel important and I get to hump a sensor every time I go through a door
My desk is nice and roomy. Also, no gay cubicles
I get to hear traders yell about trader shit outside my door and lul internally
My boss/MD is awesome and is mentoring me and shit and buys the team lunch and drives me to the train station when it's cold
Best office chairs ever
Oh, and the work is actually really interesting.

I'd do this for free, but they insist on paying me

This totally makes up for the nonsense that was my last internship.

23 Comments
 

He made this post just for you.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
Best Response
  1. There is only one best type of paper towel in the world
  2. OP has 3 types of paper towels
  3. OP has 2 types of paper towels that are not the best in the world
  4. Scrub internship
This to all my hatin' folks seeing me getting guac right now..
 

That is fucking awesome!!

"I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."
 
bic

How ballin is it?

Well,
I can wear whatever I want

OP, are you sure that is the case? Even if you'r in SF I would like to see a video of you showing up dressed in custom Gothic clothing. What would your boss say?
 

You missed the memo, assless chaps day became no pants day

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Wear a pair of bball shorts and a wrinkled white tshirt with a chocolate pudding stain on the back.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

No gay cubicles? Are there straight ones? How were the gay ones at your last internship. I don't have any experience so a frame of reference would help.

"Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums."
 
SilvioBerlusconi

No gay cubicles? Are there straight ones? How were the gay ones at your last internship. I don't have any experience so a frame of reference would help.

There are none at all. I sit in a nice office with a window view, my bro of an MD, and a cool Asian chick.

They have those paper towels that are laying all out in the open in a tray. None of that handle-turning, hand-waving shit. They trust you to take an appropriate amount THEY TRUST YOU WITH THE LUXURIOUS PAPER TOWELS

 

"Son, how was your day?" "It was so cool Mom, I made a ton of internet friends that work on Wall Street" "That's nice, honey" "No really! They all think I have an internship at a place that has air dryers!" "Now take your meds honey, it's getting late"

 

I'm gonna leave this here...

//

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Haha I actually really enjoyed this post. Who among us doesn't wish the urinal/stall separators went all the way up?

"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
 

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