Bastard Cat From Hell in NYC Apartment Complex

Title is as straight forward as it gets and I need some advice. I've been living in this walk-up apartment in midtown for years. All yesterday and even still (it's 4:00am on a saturday), I noticed a cat running across all floors, jumping on people's doors and scratching, meowing, etc. As an anti-cat person, it's irritating me how this cat (which could be a new tenant or a stray) is just loose in the hallways/stairs so now I have to worry about whether or not I want to go somewhere because the cat might jump on me and/or scratch me or sneak into my apartment again. There's no telling what floor that MF is on too as he's always running from floor to floor. Am I overreacting here? I hate cats with a passion and this is a building that supposedly doesn't even allow pets (it says it on my lease) but people do and keep their pets indoors which I'm perfectly fine with. I don't pay $3,000 for a shitty walk up to ALSO have to worry about going up and down my apartment complex because of some douchebag cat running amock. WTF do I do? It's only been one day but my hate is burning red. If that cat attacks me again, it might very well be it's last. Question is that even legal to do what I'm thinking of doing to this MF? That or I might call animal control. But at that point, what do I even say to animal control? Is this normal for others living in NYC apartment buildings or am I just overreacting? If not overreacting? What's your solution? I don't even know if this is a stray cat or owned by a new tenant.

11 Comments
 
Funniest

Not a whole lot of options if you don't know who's it is.  311 Animal Control maybe?

The nuclear option would involve some sort of poison in cat food, Please don't do that though. (especially if you haven't tracked down the owner and asked multiple times to get these things fixed--Dogs need to go outside, cats can just chill and use a litter box)

Also, just FYI, cats have a low terminal velocity and a self righting mechanism, so defenestration isn't an option.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 
Most Helpful
Dean Keaton

very weird comment to make

Feline ballistics are actually quite interesting.  Between the low terminal velocity and self-righting they're more likely than not to walk away from being thrown off a 20 story building.  The danger zone is 2-5 stories where they might not self-right in time.  I think there's a NOVA video on this, but can't be bothered to try to find it.

(again, please don't test this)

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

You need one of those water machine guns. If you had one of those and blasted the cat, it would never come near you again. 

Amazon.com: SpyraThree™ Powerful Electric Water Squirt Gun, Auto Reload, 3 Game Modes, LED Shot & Battery Display, 50FT Range Premium Summer Beach Pool Toy (Red) : CDs & Vinyl

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Wait this is actually so badass

"If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

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