Office Relationships: To Date or Not to Date

What are your company's policies on dating co-workers? Does it still happen even if it's against company policy, and is it worth the risk to ask out the cute analyst?

Asking for a friend.

Jim and Pam

23 Comments
 

Chuckled but I see gutter F/O roles i.e. AM / PWM in the same light :D nothing but unchivalrous zoo animals making use of your money management 101 class at hofstra university.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
 

Well, there is no rule against dating between co-workers but you can be sure EVERYONE will talk about it. ;) This, however, usually implies gossip and some kind of bad reputation. Especially, when both of them work in the same department. But on the other hand, if this 'dating' turns out to be a real relationship and leads to marriage no-one talks about it anymore.

One might assume people are only d'accord with marriage but not with dating within a company.

 

Generally, a bad idea, but have to gauge perception of doing so at your specific firm. If it’s risky, have to ascertain whether girl is worth jeopardizing your job... since most relationships don’t work out, answer will mostly be a big fat “no.”

 
Most Helpful

it's been discussed to death, but think about it like this. in the healthiest of marriages (I like to think I have one), how much does the couple spend time together? hour or two in the morning, few hours in the evening plus most weekends. say you're awake 18hrs a day on weekends plus 5hrs a day m-f with the gf (if you live together), that's 61 hours. are you ready to possibly double that? I've been with my wife a decade and she's the best thing to ever happen to me. but if you think I'm crazy enough to spend 100+hrs a week with her every week of the year, you're mental.

def bone that hot intern from Vanderbilt who's never seen the big city and wants to be bent over on a twin XL bed while she looks at the Chrysler building, but date? bro, there's plenty of other options, leave work at work.

 

I'd say if you're not adept at dealing with interpersonal relationships and office politics, and if you/the other person don't know how to keep your worlds separated, do not do it. It is risky and probably not worth it.

But to play devil's advocate, there is an older couple I know very well, who met in the training program of a large bank way back in the day, and dated secretly for the better part of a decade. They worked together for several years of that period, and eventually moved on to other firms with no issue, all while continuing to date. They have both told me that their shared professional ambition positively impacted the relationship, in that it inspired them both to do better professionally by means of friendly competition, and that it ensured their respective SO was always supportive of them putting their professional aspirations first.

No right answer - I think I would just say that unless you are prepared to (1) keep your relationship secret and (2) have its details become the subject of your colleagues' scrutiny should you fail in (1), you should not do it. Reality is that the way most young people conduct themselves romantically would be rightfully deserving of derision if it were known to your colleagues.

Array
 

I think people ask this question after they've made the decision to go for it anyway, and just want to see how much trouble they're likely to get in. Dating a coworker is a bad idea. Dating someone who works at your company on a different floor or in a different building is less of a bad idea. Banging an intern who definitely won't be returning for FT next year is still not a great idea, but the best idea of the lot so far.

I generally wouldn't date anyone from any place you go everyday. You think that bartender at your favorite spot is DTF? Is getting laid a couple times worth making your trips to that bar awkward as fuck after you invariably stop hooking up? Multiply that by 100 for work. It's almost never worth it. The cost if things go badly is just too high. And the likelihood things go badly is also too high.

It's just bad risk/reward.

 

Yes, like everything in life, comes down to the ol’ cost-benefit analysis (which is the better long-term prospect — the girl or the job?)

 

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