Any of you pause your career for a few months to take care of family? I've got an aging parent who needs help and i feel the need to be there as a caregiver. However, this can't be a permanent thing, it can only last so long. Any ideas on how to approach a situation like this?
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Don't quit your role - just ask for an extended leave of 6 months or 12 months or whatever. If you're good talent they will accept.
Might be unpaid, but still worth it.
I don't think my employer will allow a leave of absence for me that extends more than a few weeks or a month really. The shop is really small and i hold a lot of responsibility, so i'd end up thinking that they'd just want to find someone else to fill my role. I've not been happy with my role as it is, so i'm ready to leave, but i don't know what to expect from the job market when i do come back in. I'm anticipating to go home and take care of family for maybe a couple months like 3 to 4 months at most, so probably bouncing back into the job market in the springtime?
Oh, buddy, I feel for you. It's a tough spot to be in, but remember, family always comes first. Based on the most helpful WSO content, it seems like many have been in your shoes before.
One user shared that they balanced their work and caregiving duties by taking time during their day to visit their parent, even bringing meals to help out. However, they did mention that their work performance suffered during this time.
Another user suggested that you should consider what you would regret the least in 5, 10, 20 years down the line. If taking a break from your career to spend time with your parent feels right, then it might be worth considering, even if it sets you back a bit career-wise.
Remember, any employer worth working for will understand your situation. No job is more important than those last days with your parent.
Hang in there, buddy. It's a tough road, but you're not alone.
Sources: Caring for terminally ill parent while in IB, Mom has Leukemia, Dad recently diagnosed with Stage 3 skin cancer
No you don't. You're a chat bot.
riiiight
Stop calling him buddy, no one here is your friend (except maybe Patrick)
Agreed with others - ask for a leave of absence. I would be shocked if they don't grant it, especially if it's unpaid. Focus on your family and don't worry about your career for the next 6-12 months.
Personal experience. I took a long career break to be with my family after the sudden death of my father. It can be seen as unprofessional or lazy especially by some career driven individuals. But looking back, it is probably the best decision I ever made. In the past, I spent too much time and effort at work and to build up my career until I lost my father then I realized I have not seen him for two years. Nothing can bring him back.
I would say do what is right for you, do it and do not regret. Even you have a gap in your profile, any sensible employer should understand your situation. Like the others had said, no job is more important than those last days with your parent.
Sorry for your loss. Honestly if someone thinks taking care of your family is considered lazy/unprofessional, that person is a special kind of stupid.
I am in a similar situation right now. Father passed away and I am currently taking care of the family. Its been almost 6 months as of today and am starting to explore the job market but not seeing many opportunities right now.
However, I have no regrets and would do this without hesitation again!
Sorry to hear, but I am sure you made his final days meaningful.
Definity don't quit your job. See what you can workout with them taking PTO/Time off and unpaid leave.
i'm not happy with my current role and trying to move roles. I'm considering quitting and taking a break to care for family and then come back to the job market after a couple of months. i genuinely don't think a leave of absence would work out, it's just too small of a company that they'd really need someone to cover things that are for my role. if anything it'd be pretty short. Any thoughts on how you'd approach this?
Maybe get a new job and push back the start date as far as you can for a break. It will be easier getting a new job while currently employed. This is only if your current employer won't let you take leave.
Many people on here really overthink the impact of taking a break. It's 2023, not many people are faulting you for doing so.
In terms of how to do it, it depends on what you want out of it. If you'd like to come back or continue working remotely I'd offer to do so. Just explain to them that this is important for you and it's impacting your mental health / ability to focus. You're willing to continue working remotely or come back after the break. If they say no, then they say no and you'll have to recruit again when you're ready. It sounds like you're ready to do so anyways. I'd start working with recruiters now - I think it helps for them to hear that you're already planning to quit beforehand to do this so it doesn't seem like you're using it as an excuse to cover up being let go or having poor performance.
In my experience, small companies already have trouble finding talent given their resources and often are wanting to pay you as a consultant after you leave or eventually have an opening for you to come back if you wanted to.
I actually think that at the VP+ level, taking a break is a solid thing to do before recruiting for your next position. It puts you in a much more clear headed space to find your next role. No need to be thinking about when your next bonus or promote check is being paid out and trying to time it right, no overthinking whether you should stay instead, etc. I'm assuming here that you don't have kids and a mortgage to pay for which can obviously change the formula for you and how much you can weather being unemployed while looking for your next opportunity.
I also did this for a family member when I was coming out of college. A few months turned into two years and then had a little trouble finding a job for a while.
Not the best feeling being a little delayed career wise relative to some of my peers when I think about it. However, I do believe I helped my family a lot during this time and would do it again without any hesitation.
I took a long career gap and am still on one to help take care of both my parents. It was by far one of the best decisions of my life. You will cherish the time you have with them. Life is all about family.
My dad took in my grandfather during the last years of his life when I was younger. It set a good example for me. I live near my parents who are at separate senior living facilities and help out every day. I just hope if I have children one day they will do the same for me. No one wants to die alone.
As someone who lost a parent at a young age and near past my birthday, take the leave and care for the parent. No amount of career ambition or money will bring them back once they pass on.
This break will also help you figure things out too.
Tough call and case by case. But one consideration should be, would that family member want you to be hurting your career. I had to make some difficult decisons while my mom’s health was declining. My dad reminded me that her biggest fear (and his, whenever his health declines in the future) is that they don’t want to be a burden on their kids.
Not saying don’t take time off, just saying consider all the factors. Good luck.
I'd consider finding a full time paid caregiver, there are many people looking for such a job. That person could live with your family member and take care, while you could continue working and helping out as well.
If you’re the primary caregiver, and your parent lives in another city, seriously consider moving your parent to the same city where you live. Then, consider a senior living community near your home and visit often, take your parent out, spend hours and hours with your parent - but keep your life and your economic engine intact (and relationship with your significant other if you have that).
I was primary caregiver for my dad from age 24 - 32. Moved him from Honolulu to San Francisco. I hired a live in caregiver for the mornings and evenings and my dad attended adult day care during the workday. Later, my dad lived in assisted living, he loved it. You don’t know when your parent will die (maybe you have a good sense). They sacrifice by moving closer to you. You sacrifice by spending as much time with them. But consider keeping your job/career. There may be a time when you can’t handle - ie bed bound, 24/7 care needs, months and months, to years of caregiving and you need respite - you’re going to need money to pay for that support.
You are blessed with a career, use that as a vehicle to make sure there is a “village” to assist. Your highest and best use is to be a son/daughter, build a support system, finance it, and spend as much quality time with them. You need to take care of yourself as well.
Oddly enough, for some perspective, my father passed away unexpectedly this weekend. If I would have been given the option to spend a month or two with him prior, even at the expense of 2-4 paychecks, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
You won’t regret missing a little bit of work. You’ll regret the time you didn’t have with them.
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