I’m sharing some of my cold outreach LinkedIn messages. Can you guys critique please? I am mid career and recently moved back from Asia so while I have work experience and can’t really network like a fresh grad, I don’t have much of a US network. Of course I do want to build relationships with people that are non-transactional, but it seems the general networking solicitation emails are not working. My alumni advisor suggested that I need to be really specific and direct, so that if I’m applying for a role directly that I let people know and ask for 10 minutes of their time. What do you guys think?
- Cold email from LinkedIn based on a job application post.
Dear X, I noted on LinkedIn that we share common professional interest investing in renewable energy. We also have common contacts in X, Y, Z. I recently applied to the capital markets VP role at Firm. Would you be open to giving me 10 minutes of time on a zoom chat to share your insights about the firm?
- Follow up to excepted LinkedIn connection relative to specific job.
Hi X, Thanks for connecting on Linkedin. It's nice to meet a fellow alumn in sustainability and renewable energy.
As mentioned on Linkedin, I have applied to the Capital Markets role at Firm.
Would you have 10 minutes to have a Zoom or Google Meet to share insights about Firm? I previously was successful at raising capital at firm a, firm B, and was involved in building solar company C.
Thank you for your willingness to connect! Jon Doe (university class of 'xx)
- General networking called email outreach. This one has never ever worked. I suspect people are just too busy these days.
Hi X, You have a really interesting background as it spans FP&A, and strategic finance. I am currently in the midst of a job search process and have been looking at strategic finance roles and want to find out a little bit more about what the job entails. Are you open to a 10 minute zoom call so that I can get the benefit of your insights?
-or-
Hi X,
I'd like to connect on Linkedin. It's nice to meet a fellow University alumn in sustainability and renewable energy. I am a recent returnee to the Bay Area, having spent the last 20 years post MBA in Asia, in private equity growth capital. Early in my career I helped build a solar company which we took public and served on the renewable energy investment team at my fund.
I am looking to reconnect with fellow alumni - especially those working in sustainability. Would you be open to getting coffee in SF sometime in the near future, or otherwise to jump on a Zoom call?
Kind regards, Jon Doe
Based on the highest ranked content on WSO, here are some critiques and suggestions for your cold outreach LinkedIn messages:
1. Cold Email from LinkedIn Based on a Job Application Post
Current Version:
Dear X, I noted on LinkedIn that we share common professional interest investing in renewable energy. We also have common contacts in X, Y, Z. I recently applied to the capital markets VP role at Firm. Would you be open to giving me 10 minutes of time on a zoom chat to share your insights about the firm?Suggestions: - Be Direct and Specific: Mentioning common interests and contacts is good, but be more specific about what you want to discuss. - Personalize: Tailor the message to the recipient's background or recent activities.
Revised Version:
Hi Name, I noticed we share a common interest in renewable energy investments and have mutual connections in [X, Y, Z]. I recently applied for the Capital Markets VP role at Firm and would greatly appreciate 10 minutes of your time to discuss your insights about the firm and its culture. Thank you for considering my request. Best regards, [Your Name]2. Follow-Up to Accepted LinkedIn Connection Relative to Specific Job
Current Version:
Hi X, Thanks for connecting on Linkedin. It's nice to meet a fellow alumn in sustainability and renewable energy. As mentioned on Linkedin, I have applied to the Capital Markets role at Firm. Would you have 10 minutes to have a Zoom or Google Meet to share insights about Firm? I previously was successful at raising capital at firm a, firm B, and was involved in building solar company C. Thank you for your willingness to connect! Jon Doe (university class of 'xx)Suggestions: - Keep it Concise: While it's good to mention your background, keep it brief. - Show Appreciation: Thank them for their time and willingness to help.
Revised Version:
Hi Name, Thank you for connecting on LinkedIn. It's great to meet a fellow alumnus in sustainability and renewable energy. As mentioned, I have applied for the Capital Markets role at Firm. Would you have 10 minutes for a Zoom or Google Meet to share your insights about the firm? I have experience raising capital at [Firm A, Firm B] and was involved in building [Solar Company C]. Thank you for your time and willingness to connect! Best, Jon Doe (University Class of 'XX)3. General Networking Cold Email Outreach
Current Version:
Hi X, You have a really interesting background as it spans FP&A, and strategic finance. I am currently in the midst of a job search process and have been looking at strategic finance roles and want to find out a little bit more about what the job entails. Are you open to a 10 minute zoom call so that I can get the benefit of your insights?Suggestions: - Be Specific: Mention why you are reaching out to them specifically. - Flatter Genuinely: Acknowledge their achievements or recent work.
Revised Version:
Hi Name, I came across your impressive background in FP&A and strategic finance. I am currently exploring strategic finance roles and would love to learn more about your experiences. Would you be open to a 10-minute Zoom call to share your insights? Thank you for considering my request. Best regards, [Your Name]Alternative Version:
Hi Name, I'd like to connect on LinkedIn. It's nice to meet a fellow University alumnus in sustainability and renewable energy. I recently returned to the Bay Area after 20 years in Asia, working in private equity growth capital. Early in my career, I helped build a solar company that went public and served on the renewable energy investment team at my fund. I am looking to reconnect with fellow alumni, especially those working in sustainability. Would you be open to getting coffee in SF sometime soon, or perhaps a Zoom call? Kind regards, Jon DoeGeneral Tips:
Good luck with your networking!
Sources: Cold email networking while employed?, This is what your LinkedIn cold outreach message should entail, Cold Emailing/LinkedIn Messaging, The Best Networking, Cold Calling and Cold Emailing Posts on WSO, Something wrong with my cold email?
Thanks, monkey bot
Thank you.
Hey Earthwalker - great to see you posting!
Now, let's begin the roast...
*Crackes knucles*
Dear X, I noted on LinkedIn that we share common professional interest investing in renewable energy. We also have common contacts in X, Y, Z. I recently applied to the capital markets VP role at Firm. Would you be open to giving me 10 minutes of time on a zoom chat to share your insights about the firm?
Hi X,
Thanks for connecting on Linkedin. It's nice to meet a fellow alumn in sustainability and renewable energy.
As mentioned on Linkedin, I have applied to the Capital Markets role at Firm.
Would you have 10 minutes to have a Zoom or Google Meet to share insights about Firm? I previously was successful at raising capital at firm a, firm B, and was involved in building solar company C.
Thank you for your willingness to connect!
Jon Doe (university class of 'xx)
Hi X,
You have a really interesting background as it spans FP&A, and strategic finance. I am currently in the midst of a job search process and have been looking at strategic finance roles and want to find out a little bit more about what the job entails. Are you open to a 10 minute zoom call so that I can get the benefit of your insights?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My advice on cold emails is having the hook go both ways: you want to prove you researched them and this was not a random message, but you also want to take a second to introduce yourself. I also tend not to highlight any applications to their firm unless it's with a direct team member/HR/Hiring Manager as a courtesy message [ "Hey X, I wanted to send a long a quick note to let you know I've applied to x position at y firm." ]. I find that leading with that sometimes causes them to believe the undertone to the meeting is for a referral rather than genuine curiousity (I could be wrong, just my experience).
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