Spilling the Stout

It was a clear white night, a clear black moon…

I may be Almost Human but I feel like a Baboon.

The cold beer streamed off the side of my leg as I cursed that blasted spillage. The lit spliff in my left and the barely legal gaggerette bobbing for apple made my free right hand of little use.

To be or not to be?

To huff or not to puff?

To blast or to make it last?

Those were the sorts of thoughts running through my head as that frigid coldness made me shiver. Not to be outdone, my company had to stop and give commentary.

Not something I’m fond of.

If only there was a way they could keep their tongues, but only use them for good…

In response, I offered:

“No…I’m not shaking because you are so good. I’m shaking because your prost pad has vents like mortar craters. Now get back to work. Keep talking and you’ll puke and that will just make me shit myself.”

While sitting around debating about what to hit you guys with after a long lay-off, I chose to go with this little tidbit from a few nights ago. This is me.

If you paid for a ticket, then this is what you came to see.

I have certainly been up to more enterprising and ambitious endeavors over the few months since we last spoke. But who really gives a shit about that?

Perhaps a few money obsessed cock riders…but then again, they are best suited for making me spill the shakes and not the beans.

What they want is of little concern.

What I want is of great concern.

What we all want for ourselves in our lives is of great concern for each and every one of us. Therefore, I’d like to take more requests on subject matter from you lads and lasses in the coming months since I am, after all, writing for you.

So, whether you love me, hate me, or couldn’t give a fuck…

Drop in, give your greetings, and if you’d like, a short snippet of what you’ve been doing with your carcass as-of-late.

I am off to invent a beverage holder which shall aid in reception of knowledge and inhalation of qualitative combustion, while allowing a free range of motion and eliminating accidents.

Talk at you soon...