Hi chimpettes and chimp-panzies,
I'm at a point where i do not know what to do with myself. For some context, I come from a non-target background and due to both personal and academic shortcomings, it took me a while to break in to finance. Due to the inordinate amount of time I spent after college securing my career, I now find myself to be without a life. I've got friends and family around, but I have no hobbies to speak of and I'm single. Frankly, I'm pretty boring.
I've spent the last few months smoking grass, meeting some girls, figuring out tinder (I failed), and generally being a useless member of society camouflaged in a suit. Pretty fun, but gets boring rather quickly.
What would you do if you had a pretty much always-free schedule, and enough cash to do anything save for buying a wing suit?
Make it rain. In lieu of that, you could always turn on the sprinklers in your parents back yard next time they have a party.
Big booty hoes.
But seriously, I don't know how you have SO much free time, are you a banker? If you have a few extra hours a day, I would try to get into ungodly-good shape. It's just awesome looking jacked and being strong, and girls will like it too (although you should be doing it for yourself, not them).
If you're already jacked, pick up golf. It takes many years to truly get good and it's a time consuming activity that also allows you to enjoy nature.
If you're already jacked and a scratch golfer, I think you're doing it better than 99.999% of us.
Couldn't agree more with this post. Gotta hit the range and smack a few balls!
I third this post... Thank god spring is here and I am going to get out a lot more. Golf is insane. You would think it is easy to hit a ball sitting and not moving in front of you, I dare you to go try!! If you think watching it is boring, maybe, but start playing and you'll appreciate it more. I take it to the extreme though and I watch more golf than probably 95% of my age demographic..
Been in a committed relationship for over 2 years but how does someone "fail tinder"? My friends just swipe right on every chic then select from who messages back.... as for hobbies sports and videogames are my deal (whether that's kickin around the soccer ball or swinging a golf club etc.)
What did you do for fun before you started obsessing over getting a job in finance? Do that.
Boxing. Knock people out!
What do you do with your friends?
start a solid workout routine. get in really good shape. after getting in great shape, find a 10 on tinder. pickup a hobby that can make myself extra money (for me that's poker). read books. start blogging/ start a website. set goals outside of work and work to accomplish them. you may be bored because you hit your career goal and don't have/haven't found anything else you want to work towards/achieve
Work.
Nothing wrong with getting in shape, but on the Internet, everyone is 225 lbs of solid muscle and has 2% body fat. Just know that when you RollerBlade around in your neon yellow g-string to show off your buff body, you may get a lot of compliments, but they will all be from dudes (don't ask how I know).
I would say learn how to play guitar, bass, or drums. It is a challenge that you can never fully master and playing music is a much better way to kill time than video games.
Aside from booze, make sure to bang plenty of bishes. Stay within your league for best results. Tinder sucks, try all of the other apps. Good luck OP
Identify what drives you and stick with that.
If you want novelty and experiences that may shape you, there's a bunch of cool things to do:
Active (solo); - Sky dive in every continent - Mountaineering - Scuba Dive/Snorkel the great spots in the world - Caving - Personally map trails/adventures
Active (team); - Sport (golf/Tennis/team-sports) - Martial Arts
Aesthetic; - Photography - Sketching - Painting - Writing - Learn an instrument/Compose
Intellectual; - Read the 'great books of the western world series' - Expand your understanding of the sciences/mathematics (do your own scientific research even)
Community; - Community centres - Start a charity / NGO - Join boards of small/medium/large institutions (clubs/universities/highschools) - Donate financial expertise to third-world (micro-finance / other concepts or causes)
You are literally always free to do whatever you choose with your time. You can tomorrow quit your job decide to fly to India and start up a charity. Don't be controlled by commitments that aren't really commitments. Make the conscious choice everyday that what you are doing is right for you. That means even if it sucks in the short-term, the medium or long-term, there's a reason for it sucking and that you are ok with that.
For me - I want to make a 'difference' in the world, whether I ACTUALLY do or not is not as relevant as whether I feel I am, that's the thing that drives me and that's what influences my ultimate decisions.
Bottomline - figure out if you want novelty or crave a deeper thing.
Golf? How fucking lame are you twenty-somethings? "Golf is insane."????
Hang your heads in shame.
This made me cry a little bit.
I do yoga to burn off some of the fat I've accumulated. Probably going to take up sailing soon though.
I've seen fights at public courses that were "insane".
Go to your local gun shop and ask for a precision bolt action rifle and learn how to hit a fly from 1000 yards away. Or get into a 3 gun competition and learn how to shoot a rifle, shotgun and handgun.
We are attracted to it because you can get high and/ or drunk while playing. You'd have to be an idiot not to see the fun in that.
Solid point, especially since you can't get drunk while doing anything else
Don't listen to old timers like Fuld who can't possibly understand the sheer joy of walking around dozens of acres of grass while dressed like an albino and hitting a small ball with a bunch of sticks
Dick I won't take offense since your response is probably too many years of hacking it have caught up to you making you cynical, I am sure I will be there one day..
It is a lot of fun, especially if you were an athlete growing up a way to maintain your competitive drive without a need for team sports. People that give it shit, saying it is easy or boring have obviously never tried playing before. Golf is insane, it is the only sport where former/current pro athletes, some of the best in the world show up, play, and look like total fools. (Charles Barkley anyone?)
As someone mentioned going to drink on the course and enjoy the outside with your buddies is much better than sitting in your office on a Saturday, or at home in the dark with your bottle of Bombay Sapphire!
The only thing I don't like about golf is the price barrier to entry. Green fees are insanely high for people my age and that is why the game has been lacking involvement. Unlike football or basketball, golf lives and dies on disposable income. I used to play a lot but it is just too expensive for a college kid.
dying rn. sb. dick fuld at it again
Getting "Jacked" is not that easy if you're a natural athlete... Of course, being in shape is much more doable. There comes a point where you start plateauing and the only way to get out of it is by taking some sort of gear. Keep in mind though, girl's like guys that look lean! Take Brad Pitt's "Fight Club" physique for example, girls drool over that. Obviously, I think the majority would also enjoy a more bulky and muscular physique, but that is not easily attainable.
I've been around, training for a while in several things such as MMA, bodybuilding, soccer, etc, and seen people with pretty amazing physiques, but they were usually acquired through years of consistent working and a consistent diet. Calisthenics is pretty good for building a good physique if you're focused on aesthetics. But if I could recommend one physical activity, I'd suggest Olympic Weightlifting. I've been doing it for a few months and I can tell you that the "gaaiinnz" are crazy! Strength, explosion, speed, power... you become a better athlete all around. Add some sprint training, cardio, and self-defense to that, and boom! Turn into a machine.
Anyways, I'm not working full-time, but I empathize with your desire to do something with your time because that is also I'm constantly trying to pursue. I try to learn something new everyday, both finance and non-finance related, mostly by reading books or articles on the internet. If you're into reading non-fiction, I suggest Neil DeGrasse Tyson's "Death By Black Holes and Other Cosmic Quandaries" and Stephen Hawking's "A brief history of time". If you like novels, "The dark tower" series by Stephen King is a must buy!
I'd also strongly recommend some sort of volunteer work. Other than helping the less fortunate, you also get to meet pretty awesome people.
Good post. Can comment on the physique for the fighting sports and say that they are probably the most in-shape of any sports. In boxing your weight should be around average for your height (give or take 10-20 pounds). I don't care how strong you are, If your reach (fingertip to fingertip) isn't very long it is going to be hard to fight heavyweights who are 6'2''- 6'6''+ and are upwards of 220-260 pounds. A punch from those guys is like a sledgehammer to your face. I don't really think it would be good to be fighting people who have a damn near 80'' reach in the heavyweight division. 150-170lbs would be the ideal fighting weight for the average male. Mike Tyson and David Tua are really the only people who have recently been good in the heavyweight division despite only being like 5'10''.
Decide something else you want to excel at (i.e. spitting game, getting jacked, investing) and READ as much as you can about them.
Get a girlfriend.
I sympathise. I'm late 20s, pushing 30. I know the deal, you're not alone.
I like sitting in a pub with a pint of Wylam ale and New Order on Log fire going, nice pint of beer, browse the Sunday papers, listen to a bit of the local chat, but nobody really bothering you..Plenty of decent contemplative boozers in london, just sit, read, bask by the fire and have a bit of a natter with the regulars. Awesome.
My labrador curled around my feet... I buy him half a pint of Guinness and he curls up asleep under the table in the pub garden afterwards. He got told off for snoring too loudly once.
Get some pussy
Set career goals and work towards them and invest in your social skills and spending time with loved ones. Those things will give you the best ROI in terms of happiness.
Travel. Points & Miles.
If you're in NY you are literally 4 hour drive/train/flight from some of the best cities and sights in the nation.
Every weekend should be an adventure.
No better feeling than my personal email inbox filled with flight confirmations.
What are some epic weekend trips you've taken? I'm trying to spice up my weekend game
Also interested to know. And I have a similar view.
Do you have particular tips, like a specific credit card for travel, etc?
Start with Chase Sapphire Preferred. Every person should have this card in their wallet. Double points on eating out/travel-----Constitutes the majority of my expenditures.
I highly recommend following:
Onemileatatime.com-Great website reviewing every type of airlines/destination across the globe.
theflightdeal.com-I look at this site at least once a day with daily updates on super cheap flights (not on shitty airlines like spirit) for both really cheap domestic and international fares.
I'm flying to Japan in May for the Week for $400 roundtrip.
At this point I'm never worried about affording travel. It's about having the free time to do it.
May I ask what have you done after college? I have similar background if not worse background than you, and I have not made it yet.
I imagine after I get into finance. I'd still work like a dog and achieve my career goal because it is the purpose of life! I'd also get a relationship(last real relationship was ~1.5 years ago). I'd learn boxing in Brooklyn (kinda fun. I'm a 6'2 160 lbs Asian).
I think the cosmic purpose of this thread has been fulfilled. It was meant to help you in advance, not me in a moment of boredom lol.
so share me your story. how do you make it?
Everyone here has had some seriously good ideas. I think what I'm looking for can't be found by asking, though. I've done much of what has been said - travel, going out, dating, and fitness being my go-to's. I might just be a bit lost as to what I need to "do" next, or perhaps I'm overthinking life.
In any case, thanks for the tips and keep it coming. I'm sure I'm not the only one finding these ideas helpful. Silver bananas for everyone.
Taking into context your comment, might be that the thing you need is not to select from a specific list of activities but something more fundamental: developing a framework for what you aspire to and value in life. From there, develop habits and/or rules for yourself that bring you closer to or in line with your framework.
For ex., a common piece of advice is to always keep exploring, there's so much out there in the world to see and understand. I personally love seeing new things. So I made a rule for myself: at least once every 3 months, I hop on a random train / bus / flight (relatively local), or plan out a trip somewhere.
I also wanted a break from reading formal, business related books / articles, so I borrowed the last book in a fantasy series I enjoyed 5 years ago but never got around to reading.
smoke more
But seriously, I've gotten into self-improvement, so I've alternated between a number of daily habits that I should stick with but haven't. I'll name a few as ideas, but you should build a regimen.
Helps me get my head on straight, is allowing me to have more control over my emotions/mental state, and I think will help me stay grounded and focused during long hours when I start full-time in a couple of months.
Beyond that, go ahead and find a hobby per above.
Thinking a bit about this and I have come to the conclusion that I live my life in three month blocks. The majority of each three month block is focused on achieving my goals with a small amount dedicated to adventure/new experiences.
I split my goals into buckets...intellectual, athletic, professional, active
example:
Intellectual: Achieve 1400 rating at chess Athletic: Break xx time for 5k Professional: Promotion within one year Active: Obtain PADI qualification
My adventure is usually based around my holidays. Ski in January, explore a new city in April, Go scuba diving in June and hike the great wall of China in October.
That's how I like to live and I find it fulfilling coupled with a good job I like.
If you've got cash you can do awesome stuff...I am amazed at how many people just waste it on drink at the weekends or just get overly wrapped up in work...go mountaineering somewhere, or learn to fly a plane or go trek Machu Pichu or visit Petra.
Yes work will nearly always come first but with the jobs most people have here it affords incredible luxury to experience different things around the world....you should always have something to look forward to in the near term (less than 4 months) in my view.
What i think you need to do is eat some shrooms and try to reach enlightenment. You will view your life differently after the trip and know exactly what to do with your life. This is from my personal experience when i was in college. Kinda gave me the wake up call.
Senior year of college. I drove to my bro's college 2 hours away from mine and between 3 of us ate what was easily enough shrooms for 6 or 7 people. An insane experience that lasted the entire day. Going outside, smoking, music, everything was an unbelievable experience.
I was being a whiny bitch over my ex-girl and other shit in life that was in my control to change. After the trip, I immediately got back into my car and drove back to my apartment and began using the BIWS guides to learn financial modeling, I worked out at like 5am, sent out informational interview requests, called recruiters, called some girl I'd been being a bitch about talking to, and basically everything I needed to get my shit together. I was awake for like 2 days. It was unbelievable. This sounds like what a WSO infomercial would read like in Colorado but it's exactly what happened.
Anyway, I'm feeling pretty in-tune with myself but will definitely do this again. Good call.
I'm glad I'm not alone from the trip experience. It really gave me the motivation to move on with my life after so many fuck ups in college. Now I have a decent job and good relationship with my family.
Holy s''', this is beautiful... SB
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