What motivates you, truly?
Hey hey! I'm a woman in my young 20s, just secured my 210k job offer at citadel securities, without my sign on and extras added on. I feel pretty proud of myself considering I was making way less before and will only have to work ~50 hour weeks in my role, which I am so excited about -- I love my life, love the people around me, love who I am, and feel like I'm pretty balanced with work, a healthy lifestyle, and going to cool events/parties and travels.
I am always contemplating life, do it every single day -- what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what I can do better to make me happy, etc. Recently, I've been thinking of other motivations in life, and it's hard to know exactly what I want.
Would love to hear from you guys -- what motivates you every week, what truly makes you happy, what makes you sad, how do you envision your life in your next 5-10 years. Want this to be as open as possible.
I read a discussion before this of someone talking about how he or she was not able to feel joy, I find that pretty dark. Hope if you come across this you can think about these questions to re-evaluate what you truly value in life -- make changes based off of that.
External validation
Hot Citadel Securities girls.
Prestige
Owing no person no thing. Not time, not money, not any other consideration. That's what motivates me.
Family?
That’s the right attitude to be a PE sponsor. Still owe all those things, but in pure denial of such liabilities.
Reading "Is Paradise" threads on WSO
"Wharton is Paradise"? lol
I am waiting for "Retirement is Paradise"
Nice flex - congrats on the new job, not sure why this garners a thread though.
would say I quite enjoy reading some these long thought out, meaningful responses -- as what I was looking for!
GTFM
We’re you in s&t? And if so what group before citadel if u don’t mind me asking.
fast cars, hot girls, and weed
what motivates me in general? the realization that my life is nothing but a blip in the grand scale of space time, my body is a temporary vessel for the soul which will either also die with me or will continue to exist without the body in something not understandable to me at the moment. I view my life as a challenge to get the most positivity I can out of this limited time, however I may define that. I have no idea if this is a simulation, if I'm even exercising free will, if it's just blackness afterwards and no afterlife, but what I do know is this - it's all temporary. because of my work I have to get people ready to die and seeing the mental gymnastics that occurs towards the end has solidified my mantra - imagining myself on my deathbed doing an accounting of my life, what will I wish I did more of? what will I value? what will I not value? and then I make my short and long term plans to maximize the things I want more of, and minimize the rest. so far, so good.
week to week though? I view progress like building a sand castle one grain at a time. because I have my long term goals solidly laid out and distilled into tactical actions to get there, each week is a step in that direction. whether it's bringing my best self to a client meeting to secure that relationship for the indefinite future, ensuring our portfolios are ready for stagflation 2.0 as best as we can, or just doing that long run/swim even though I'm sleep deprived because I'm going to want that extra gas in the tank when it's hurricane season.
my life in 5-10 years? I'll be done paying off my partner that retired a few years ago, will be paying off another who's retiring soon, and transitioning another partner to a slower schedule so I'll essentially be running the practice solo which will be an interesting change. money is good now and I'd imagine it gets a lot better but if regulation squeezes our margins or something, we'll adapt and I'm mentally prepared for that. personally? ideally still married to my wife, travelling, maybe kids maybe not, fluent in 4 languages (2.5 down!), maybe owning a beach property or just having enough freedom to both run my business and maximize hurricane + nor easter season, hopefully just making the most of my short time here on earth with what gives me joy. another longer term but no timeframe project is distilling lots of random facts, stories, and meditations somewhere so that if I ever do want to write a book the details are relevant and accurate
what makes me happy? my wife, my friends, a good meal, a good trip, a good wave
what makes me sad? when people I love are not well
on your friend who has not felt joy, almost everybody I know who's not feeling joy (and this was myself when I was an alcoholic and mildly depressed) was not being able to live in and appreciate the present moment with some long term goals in mind. I can appreciate the beauty of my garden as an example (or even a small plant when I was in a small apartment) and then have something to look forward to (a step that gets me closer to my longer term goals)
OP, congrats on your success so far, I've pontificated this topic a lot over the years and am happy to share with you if any of the above needs clarifying
She's not going to fuck you man
if you're trying to insinuate that I have a motive other than trying to help and spread positivity, nope. I have a very happy marriage and have no interest in other women
I hope you find the same someday
ratio
Maybe a strange few questions for you brofessor and I'm not trying to jerk you off but really do admire the hell out of you, both in the way that you think & the way you find meaning in life. If you don't want to answer, no worries as I know these are personal:
1. What would you say are the rough odds that you are still married to your wife in 10yrs?
2. Very sorry on the addiction / depression (but very happy it's behind you!), I once also had mild depression & am in the process of beating an 'addiction' of my own. What did you do to really break out your depression & find your way again? Happy to share what I did as well
3. I've heard you reference Zig before, love his framework. Also know you admire Stoicism & likes of Marcus Aurelius. Any other central frameworks / books that drive how you think about life & being content long-term?
4. What are your main hobbies aside from reading / surfing? What activities (other than time spent with people you love) bring you deep joy?
5. I'm in my mid-20s and one of the things I hate is how much people move around, making it hard to build new lasting friendships. Feel like when I do make friends, they're gone within a few years & so I wonder why it's worth investing in new friendships at all sometimes. What are your thoughts on making new friends in new cities? I treasure the relationships I already have & when I find people I really click with I work really hard to maintain those relationships but sadly in my geographical area I feel like I only have casual friends (i.e. if I move I probably will only try to keep in touch with 2 of them). I guess this one's complex but how do you think about friendship broadly (both friends in your geo and outside of it)? Any advice? Frankly I'm not even sure how to frame this question, even a ramble of your thoughts would be enormously appreciated
and thanks for your kind words, means a lot
How do you approach new languages?
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/comment/2667793#comment-2667793
happy to clarify anything, what language(s) are you learning?
love this, always enjoy hearing about what people value and their mantras, what is important to them -- thank you
Mid-high 20s here so perhaps I can add perspective. Imo (at least for me), this is an important, ever-changing question, especially through the 20s. Bit cliche but it's important to set some type of goals. You don't have to know where you want to end up...but maybe it's just the next step...where would you like to be next? Maybe it's not a specific position but a feeling or type of work lifestyle. And then what do you need to progress on now to move closer to that goal? I think ~1-3yr goals are good. It's kinda worthless thinking much longer than that at this age. Just want to emphasize how much your goals (or whatever you want to call them) will change. Don't let it bother you. It will keep happening! I think late 20s things will really "hit". You'll have been around the block a bit, matured, figured things out etc. Don't get to worried about setting something firm but be sure to set something so you can measurably progress
I'm def in the lifestyle > money camp after a certain $ point, but at your age I would recommend grinding hard for a few years. You don't need to be partying every Friday and Saturday just bc your friends are. Alcohol is such a killer (on the other hand, party now while the hangovers aren't so bad haha). Work hard and find things you like outside of drinking (and make friends outside of drinking) and that will def help you develop happiness even if work maybe isn't doing it for you
Poverty
Why do u feel compelled to specify you're a woman?
I feel like it matters. Different things make different sexes happy. Women and men are certainly motivated by different things.
With that logic, for sure. Doubt that's the basis though
The ratio of men:women in finance is way skewed, and I'm hoping that another woman reads this and feels inspired/happy. At least that's how I feel when I read things coming from other women in the field :)
that's legit - what a great girl. I redact my prior statement
Having a vision, connecting the dots, then bringing my vision to fruition, even if the right time is a decade in the future. The vision can be of myself.
Since you ask motivations, I also look forward to sleeping with my wife as many times as I can, since all things are finite. This has motivated me to massage her feet every night even if it doesn’t lead to sex.
I Want To Fit In!
It’s a quote. If you don’t get it you’re not prestigious
Knowing that I get paid at the end of the month
Money and revenge
A quote that really resonates with me that can answer your question in once sentence:
“Someone once told me the definition of hell; on your last day on earth, the person you could have become will meet the person you became.”
it's only hell if they meet in the mirror because you kept this mantra alive your whole life
Hmmm. But what if the "person you could have become" is a better version of the "person you became"? Perhaps that's too subjective to answer. I always viewed this quote as saying that throughout your life you have opportunities to become a better person. If you get to the end of your life and you look back and realize you didn't take them, you're worse off so seize as many of them as possible.
It's knowing that financeabc is a fat dude living in his parent's basement whose son hates him. Really makes me appreciate my life more
Truly interested in the work it's not about money for me. I'm motivated to just get to experience as much as possible.
My dad, brother, and grandma passed suddenly a few months ago. However, ever since I discovered I could help make an impact on people starting in college, I've been 100% driven and motivated by the desire to make an impact on others and didn't get this source of motivation from that tragedy. I've come to realize when it comes to a career in finance, you don't really add too much value to society or make a tangible impact on others in your day-to-day work, so most people try to find a way to make an impact elsewhere. Sure we can talk about all the cool deals we work on or how many millions of dollars we saved a massive corporation etc., but we aren't doctors, paramedics, teachers/professors, etc.
I realize that I get the most validation and happiness from helping others learn more and achieve their goals. In college, this was trading/finance - I was leading a few of the organizations on our campus, and I remember all of the faces, names, and emails of students thanking me for taking 30 minutes of my day to help them learn more or discover opportunities they thought would be a great fit for them. I remember a week when I took probably a dozen calls, and every student sounded so thankful for even taking my time to chat with them.
What keeps me motivated is the idea that I want to be a thought leader in the space I'm in and impact more than just students. I've realized how happy it makes me to impact students interested in this field and what keeps me driven to continue to put in the time, effort, and work is that now I want to impact other industry professionals, impact people older than me, graduate students, etc. and you can't really make a tangible impact on that group in this field without being one of the best at what you do, so I work toward that goal every day.
Some people get their satisfaction and happiness from helping the homeless, donating to shelters, donating to charity, etc. It all has something to do with giving back to people, and as corny as it may sound, I get my satisfaction and happiness from helping students and those in the industry learn new things and discover new opportunities. It sounds weird, but once you get the first few thank you emails I know other industry professionals get after their 30-minute coffee chats with students, you feel good about yourself. I don't get these opportunities without being the best at what I do, or contributing to the space, or having a great seat at a great firm, etc.
I really love this. I'm sorry about your family, hope all is well. Agreed with discovering things about yourself and meanings in life when tragedies happen (either immediate people or people you kinda know), crazy how eye opening certain events can be and make an impact on the rest of your life.
Don't nothing move me but the god damn money.
More seriously, I want to feel true dignity in everything I do and in every interaction I have. I also want to bankroll my parents, brother and sisters so they can enjoy some of life's sweeter fruits alongside me.
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