Deciding whether to leave MF
I’m just about to finish up my second year in PE at a MF. Based in Europe so no need to leave after two years or anything.
Long story short, I am pretty miserable in general and don’t have the drive to continue doing this long-term. I’m not at breaking point but years of slaving away have left me very run down.
I think I would be happier either doing something else entirely or going to a more lifestyle focused fund (if they exist). However, I can’t help but feel like I’m throwing away the opportunity I have at the moment. I put so much effort into getting in and know it’s not easy to go back if I changed my mind later on. And to be honest, I’m also scared of leaving behind the prestige.
I could probably keep going with the job for another few years if I wanted to. I’m also wondering if it’s worth it financially (pay in Europe for non-finance jobs or lower quality funds is not great).
Wondering if anyone has any perspectives on this? Particularly if anyone has made the move away from MF PE and their thoughts on it.
Thanks in advance
Commenting for reach.
To be frank, you'll probably still feel this way for at least 4-5 months after you leave. However, in the long run it will probably be worth it. Have you considered an MBA? Also, do you have any connections that will allow you to lateral somewhere less intense but still with a sense of accomplishment? You could join a late stage startup that gives you some sort of purpose outside of prestige.
"I put so much effort into getting in and know it’s not easy to go back if I changed my mind later on." Think about the way you'll feel in 10-15 years if you don't do something to get yourself out of a rut. Plenty of partner lawyers with mid-life crisis at 50 years old.
Just my two cents.
Think about it this way…do you want to be miserable for the next 10 years of your life? PE is torture; every day feels like a week, and every week feels like a month.
Is that how you want to spend life?
There are a few people who do enjoy the work and for those people, despite the dislike of brutal and high-intensity mental stress, they can stick it out.
I’m one of those people — yes, I have had miserable experiences but those were tenuous, and on an average basis, I wouldn’t say I was “miserable”. If I was, I would leave.
If you are miserable every day, to the point that waking up everyday is depressing, then you should do something you enjoy. The value of “prestige” is an illusion - it should not come at the expense of your mental health and happiness. How much would you pay to have your weekends available to you? How much would you pay to have a week that’s consistently 50 hours vs 80 hours? In PE, even when you’re not working physically, the mental stress is always there; this only intensifies as you get more senior btw.
There’s a price to pay for happiness — you might make more in PE, but you can’t buy time back if you are miserable for 60% of your life ahead. You’re wealthy on paper but you never have mental freedom.
bolded is the truest statement on here that the kids do not realize in this industry. Yes PE principals/partners can make a ridiculous amount of money but the only thing they do with their lives is work and that is it. Even if they're at dinner with their family they will leave in an instant if it's work related because that is their job (in their mind at least) to be available 24/7/365. In no other industry do 50 year old people launch emails at 1am because they're working their lives away.
Thanks for the response, your points definitely resonate. When I read what you’ve written, the decision seems obvious.
And agreed that the stress only gets worse. If it was a case of slaving away for another 2 years before getting promoted and taking it easy, I’d probably do it. But my VPs and principals certainly don’t have good lives (at least from a balance perspective, even if they are well paid). I don’t want that life for myself.
It's sad how engrained people's identities get in "prestige" that they can't leave a job that is making them miserable. I've been there trust me, don't follow down this path, its my biggest regret not leaving sooner (I left a MF after 8 yrs), really took an irreversible toll on me.
What do you do now?
What's so tough leaving after around a decade is you effectively put in the worst years and you're missing all the pay-off afterwards.
Thanks for the perspective, it’s reassuring to hear it was certainly the right decision to leave. Sorry to hear about the negative impact of PE on you, I’ve heard a number of more senior people say similar things. Seems like it’s easy to ignore until it’s too late.
Hi - is it possible I could PM you? Am considering leaving my fund / leaving finance and am struggling convince myself I’m not being irresponsible. Would really appreciate some direct feedback
Feel you. Question is: where do you go afterwards?
Everything is a trade off and depends on your priorities, but I am concerned about the risk of doing a job that I don’t enjoy as much from content perspective. In the past I did a corporate job and felt miserable too (very personal of course!). What’s the middle ground here? Clearly exits from PE is not a common topic so would appreciate other perspectives.
Really wish I knew the answer to this. I have similar concerns, don't want to take a significant pay cut only to find that the new job also sucks and now I'm miserable and (comparatively) poor.
From a VP at a MF that started as an analyst, 7 years after graduating undergrad, it’s absolutely been worth it for me personally. Have I worked more than almost everyone else since graduating? Yes. Am I wealthier than most? Yes. Have I learned more than my peers? I think so. Do I love what I do? No but I do like it a lot. Am I overall happy, even in the darkest weeks in the job? Generally yes, but there are days when I hate it, FOR SURE.
Even if it’s a grind, it stops becoming a grind the higher you get. I still work a lot, but I’m writing pitches, reviewing decks and speaking with brokers, not in excel and ppt 24/7. Most weeks I work 60 hours, but some weeks I do pull the IB hours.
I say all this to give you a different perspective. I got ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED for years, but it’s absolutely worth it to me. I highly value being very wealthy in 20 years and I do like what I do. Of course, I am not in your shoes and deal with your coworkers and culture, but I imagine it’s not too dissimilar. My two cents is to try to stick it out and get some promotions. It’s a lot easier to grind when you’re making $400k-$600k a year as a VP than when you’re making $100k-$200k as an analyst, you know? Hang in there…and very much happy to give you any more advice / answer any questions!!!
Are you sure you’re counting 60 hrs right. If so, drop the name of the firm would love to apply
I think you need to ask yourself what the “opportunity” that you’re throwing away really is. Run it forward 2/3/5 years. Will you be feeling more or less run down/unmotivated? Is that the mindset to excel at a MF?
The reality is switching tracks IF you’re in an acutely bad headspace isn’t abandoning an opportunity, it’s just coming to a realization. If you proceed on, you’ll still come to that reality but it will be after having burned another few years of your life and on someone else’s terms. Your mindset is not one that breeds success in the MF world. You need to be a glutton for pain and feel like you’re lucky to be getting it heaped on you. Otherwise, you can’t run flat out at the speed you need to and eventually they’ll manage you out. I’ve seen it a million times.
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