Definitive Prestige Ranking of Megafunds 2025
Tier Mount Olympus - Apollo "Golden Demigods", KKR "Protectors of Civilization from the Barbarians Beyond", BX "Big Black Alternative Investors", H&F "Manifesting Destiny"
Tier Mount Kilimanjara - TPG "Confederate Cowboys", Warburg Pincus "First Among Equals", CVC "Napoleonic Aristocrats", Carlyle "Grey Conquerors"
Tier Mount Rushmore - EQT "Nordic Raiders", Advent "New England WASPs", CD&R "Industrial Vanguards"
Tier Tech Upstarts/Not A Megafund/Youre Not One of Us - Permira, Bain, TB, SL, Vista, Insight, Ares, Onex, etc
Nice to see the Permira/Bain/TB/SL/Vista/Insight/Ares/Onex kids slinging monkey shit at me because they've deluded themselves into thinking they're working at a MF and are equal to the likes of APO/H&F
Congrats on Carlyle!
Lmao in all seriousness isnt it college app season for you? How did EA/ED go?
Ok incoming analyst
I would easily take Bain over all these other firms
Their culture has deteriorated and their trajectory has stalled. It's nowhere near the firm it used to be, and it's certainly not near the best seat in PE.
Source? Heard the opposite last week from someone at the firm on the NAPE team.
They’ve raised more money in the past five years than they ever have before, and they’re building out adjacencies (Special Sits, Real Estate, etc.) extremely well. Someone clearly struck out in recruiting
Interesting maybe I’m wrong. I just like the firm / think they are smart and it seems like a nicer culture but could be outdated info.
LowCaliberTalent somehow back again with yet another new username spewing the same garbage
What about Partners Group? Where would that rank?
Tier 3 at best. This firm is so bad I can’t even understand how LPs are still giving them money
Touch grass , and talk to your first woman
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