Exit options for a girl (Assoc) in PE?

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20 Comments
 

Sounds like you’re discontent with your job; I’m not going to tell you what to do, but it sounds like more WLB may be what you need. You’ll likely be more fulfilled if you can pursue your interests in a non-professional capacity. The most important thing for you to do, however, is think about it what it is that you really want. Most people on this app chase prestige, so much so that they’ve allowed themselves to become their MD’s bitch; I hope you don’t share their clout chaser mindset, because if you do, all you’ll ever accomplish is being your employer’s favorite slave. If being with your family and having time to paint and participate in sports is what will make your life worth living, and bring you happiness, then what’s what you should do.

 

Thank you, appreciate your advice! Fortunately my identity is not tied to this firm and chasing clout/money will leave you, well, chasing. Grateful for the credentials it will help me with, but for family/friends/etc that’s not what matters. I want to build and create both professionally and personally - I will find my next steps (and hopefully help others who have felt this way afterwards). Thank you 

 
Most Helpful

I'm sorry you're going through this. First of all it's totally normal, you're away from family, there is significant work stress, the hours strain your relationships. It's a lot and congrats on getting to today with all that mental load. The good news is you're doing a lot of the right things - nutrition, working out, journaling. That's far more than many do.

It's really really important to carve out as much time as you can to pursue passions outside work. It might feel frivolous but its really taking care of your mental health. A lot of my early year frustrations stemmed from living and breathing work, its just all consuming and it sucks. I scheduled stuff every week and tried to make it if I could - soccer on Wednesdays, drinks with a friend on Thursday, a little time out on the weekend for hobbies and family. You make it some days, you don't others, but come Monday, these are things to look forward to every week. Maybe it means sacrificing a little sleep but wouldn't you feel more fulfilled if you could spend some time painting each week?

Maybe look for a group that's more social and tight knit. The spectrum of group cultures across the street are really broad. The sacrifice you might have to make is balancing "prestige / exit opps" but in your current mental state, how important are those really.

On therapy, I had to try a few different therapists until I found the one that worked for me. To your point, I had no interest in talking about my childhood and family relationships and shit, I wanted a toolkit. The one I'm with now is really a quasi performance coach and she's absolutely game changing. It's things like visualizing goals and working backwards to see if my current path gets me there type shit. Worth a shot.

The unfortunate reality is that you'll have to carve out time and be proactive about taking care of yourself. As long as you're delivering at work, it doesn't matter. Your health and wellness should be top of mind for you, because it certainly isn't a priority for anyone you work with. 

 

Hi @rabbit thank you very much for your advice. Really helpful. I haven’t tried a coach, will look into it. Good point on making more of an effort scheduling. Considering a smaller team as well for my next role - I’ve worked in smallish teams but always in larger firms. Thank you again for taking the time to write! 

 

Sorry to hear that. You can go to a family office! You can pretty easily find one with good culture and flexible hours. Also. Coming from a fellow girl in finance - gender shouldn’t matter. Break your own limiting belief!

 

Have you tried just painting in your free time? Maybe you can start making some paintings on the side and selling them at cost + small profit. That may help your mental state bc you will be engaging in one of your hobbies and I bet it is very meditative.

I think Isaiah on the board paints in his free time. Does anyone know if you can ping someone? He may be able to give helpful pointers about starting off painting part time.

 

Hi there, thank you for your advice! I do have commissions (and a waitlist) but with the limited time I usually need friends / exercise over painting, so it keeps getting pushed out. I also need more of a free mind to be creative, if that makes sense haha… but grateful I am not a starving artist

 

Wtf does any of this have to do with being a girl? It doesn’t matter what gender you are in this

 

Being an associate is hard. You are three or four years into this lifestyle, and no end in sight. I honestly don’t think my vp is in a better spot in terms of happiness or WLB.

There are so many places you can go with your experience (and gender, TBH), even in this job scare world. It is not a failure to start looking or to leave. You’ve given it a great go. I’m impressed with all you’ve tried. I think you’ll feel better once you make that decision.

 

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