Feeling FOMO from not being in NYC…
I am a current banking associate in Houston in a small IB shop that has surprisingly very solid WLB (60ish hours max) and solid comp (likely higher than NYC adjusted for COL). Also my team is great and I feel very close to my seniors and would hate to leave them.
However, I’ve spent most of my time focusing on work and really feel like I missed building relationships and a social circle now in my late 20s. I look around and feel my time is running out and feel so depressed when I see other friend groups out and about.
Maybe I’ve romanticized it in my mind, but I really want to move to NYC and start fresh and hopefully make friends and experience new things over there. I know Houston is not some small nowhere city, but it seems the way people speak on here is that the gap between a place like Houston and NYC is so huge for social experiences.
If I go to NYC, I would not do banking given I would likely not get anywhere close to my current WLB, and I frankly want to have time to build a social circle. The biggest thing holding me back is finding a non-IB/PE job that pays decently in NYC where I don’t need roommates. My savings since starting banking have thus far been nothing amazing so financial saving is still important for me.
Have I just drank the NYC koolaid? The visits I’ve had were great but that is obviously not living there. I don’t want to make a decision I will regret as my trajectory at my current shop is great. Any guidance is much appreciated as I feel I am wasting my precious youth away here.
>Have I just drank the NYC koolaid?
Yes. Make friends in Houston
Most people here in their late 20s want to settle down it seems like. Perhaps they got all the partying and fun out of their system young and aren’t playing catch up like me. In NYC, it seems totally opposite with people more receptive to making friends older in life and still living the fun life
Then start looking for NYC jobs no?
I agree. The post is more a question of are my feelings nonsense/grass is greener syndrome given so many on here actually live in NYC.
why no roommates? Doesn't matter how much you make in NYC, if you don't have a spouse, u probably have a roommate
Fair enough. I just personally don’t know anyone in the area so it would be a random roommate, and I’m a bit apprehensive about that + not having my own place. I definetely do not need a large place by any means. I’ll take the crappiest small studio as long as there is air conditioning. Not sure how much that would be in today’s market
You can get a random roommate and if yall get along then you have a friend instantly. But the NYC market is so cooked, for a studio in midtown/downtown you're looking at around 3k a month. You really do not want to be dropping 40k a year on rent for a tiny room. Go splitsies with 1-3 people, pay like 2.5k for rent, live in a nice apartment, join your roommates friend groups.
I think - one primary consideration being that NY has a very high cost of living, but also that the work culture here is vastly more intense. So you may find your QoL decreases a bit
Yes that is one of the things I feared. To be clear, I also do not have friends over there I would be starting from scratch socially as well…I ultimately just figured that NYC of all places would be the easiest to do so. Perhaps I be very selective about the role I choose…which could be awhile
~60 hours in Houston is almost unheard of. Honestly, grass is always greener so might want to count your blessings on this one. Houston is a sweaty city just since energy is in consolidation and not growth so banks are competing harder for less deals.
It's like this, I love Vegas but wouldn't want to live there. If it really bugs you though that you're not in NYC you can always transfer or lateral.
What are you savings?
Seems like you’re not a partier or have a great social life so with a couple years analyst stint and perhaps a couple years associate I’m assuming you have Atleast $500k savings?
I do not unfortunately. There were a series of bad investments made that set me back long story short. I’m at about half of that currently. I would definetely like to go out and mingle and party or whatever I just frankly don’t have any friends to do those things with
When you say you see other friend groups out - are you talking about your existing friends that all live in NYC? If so this could be a good idea since you already have a social network there.
If you are just generically looking at groups of friends on instagram and are starting from scratch then don't do it. If you aren't able to socially meet people in Houston then it won't happen in NYC either. You have to change what you are doing and better to not uproot a good job to try it.
Sure people in the South probably get married earlier but from what you describe is just an excuse for you - it's a huge city with lots of young people at different ages and prioritizing different things.
EDIT: just saw your earlier comment - do not do this, nothing about your social life will change unless you do
Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I don’t have a friend group in both places (except perhaps 1 friend in NYC). Regardless, I understand your point that the onus is on me to make a change socially. I just figured late 20s would be a lot easier to meet people in NYC. It’s also the fact that so many things are happening constantly in the city. When I go out in Houston I do see people out but get so much fomo having no friends to do anything with. I feel im wasting my life away here.
Also it may seem silly and please call BS if you think so, but I saw this tweet about NYC that is giving me even more FOMO…https://x.com/thedulab/status/1951777678656475485?s=46
Highly romanticized take abt NYC lol
There is something to be said about starting fresh and having a new start, but you don’t just drop into NYC and all of a sudden have friends. You’ll be in the same situation which is you need to go out and pursue your hobbies/interests to meet people, which you will need to do in both Houston and NYC.
Yes NYC social circles are likely more amenable to transplants given how many transplants are there, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve given Houston a fair shake. If you think a fresh start will also give you a fresh outlook with respect to social life, then by all means change scenery, but in the kindest way possible, this seems more about you than location. Good luck whichever way you decide to go - I understand it’s not easy to work in this industry and not have social outlets so not trying to be critical, just trying to answer your question based on my view.
I really appreciate the thoughts. It's honestly quite hard for me to decipher what's true or not with social media...there's so much out there these days on of people saying NYC changed their life or that they were in a similar situation to me then were able to finally live the life they always wanted. I feel like such thoughts are going to gnaw away at me and make me feel like shit until I actually try living there.
I can try to give Houston a chance but my fear is just wasting more time in my late 20s trying to build a social circle somewhere that I'll ultimately leave. I don't want to be that guy at 30 with no friends because at that point it seems the only choice one has is to go to NYC then.
All things considered NYC is a place where it’s easier to become part of a friend group (how deep a friendship is is a different question). I think Houston can get a little cliquey
But seems like OP has made no effort in Houston so idk what will change in nyc
OP, DM me if you want to chat. Was in similar situation, might give some perspective.
Thanks!
Enjoy Houston for the friendlier people, also decent food, better WLB, better CoL, better QoL depending on where you live
Thanks. It’s so interesting though that so many threads say it’s wasting your 20s to live in an area like this. I really fear I may regret it years from now when I look back that I didn’t take the leap to NYC but I could again also just be so easily influenced by social media.
I just moved to Houston for full-time, would love to connect
You aint missing nothin
goated username
Thank you wall street turtle
nyc is a world class city. Houston on the other hand…
You’re too late. You’re in your late twenties, and the best time to experience NYC is from the ages of 21 to 30.
Being single, early twenties, with the extra cash from I-banking makes nyc your oyster. I can’t think of a better US city to meet hot chicks. Maybe Miami? I certainly have never lived in a better city for women.
But the issue is you’re already in your late twenties. U missed the boat. I guess you could try to move here to meet your wife, but you also said you can’t handle finance hours in nyc, which will limit your chances of nabbing a hottie or a successful rich chick.
My advice is to accept the hand life gave you. Living a comfortable, chill life in Houston ain’t that bad. Just make sure your son doesn’t settle like you did, and chases fun in his youth.
What’s your body count
You’ll think I’m lying, but it’s around 50. I don’t even remember them all at this point.
I do happen to be tall and good looking, especially for my race, but if you have banking money (meaning you can take your dates to cool bars and restaurants) and you’re not a fat slob and autistic, anyone can clean up in nyc.
I’m not saying everyone can sleep with 50 women or consistently bang models. But Manhattan has so many damn people in such a small area, there’s so many dating opportunities. Especially with the apps. Really no excuse for a normal dude with disposable income to not put himself in situation to fuck on a consistent basis.
And I also think nyc is one of the best places to meet wife material women when you’re ready to settle down
I know it’s easy for me to say nyc is the shit for single finance bro since I had so much success and found my wife here, but think about it. It’s literally always got something going on and there always hot women around the trendy spots. Just don’t be a fucking creepy douche and you’ll get chances. Even my ugly and fat friends had moderate success when we were all single.
In spite of your crude language you are 100% right. Best thing to do is ride nyc until you burnout (or decide you are a lifer) and then move to burbs or another city. I pulled the plug on nyc in late 20s (also grew up there) and absolutely love coming back as much as possible and appreciating it more from afar. I can’t imagine going in the other direction post 30 (from quiet to noise)
I’m always right. People just bitch because I’m direct and brusque. Like people need to be polite on Internet forums when giving advice lol.
Calm down there Andrew Tate
if you want it go get it. just got to keep networking till something works out
Grew up in Boston, currently based out of manhattan. The smell alone is reason enough to move out of nyc
Unpopular opinion but Boston is overall better than NYC once you stop drinking the Apple koolaid.
And if you miss the night outs, you can always take a train or flight down to NYC for a fun weekend.
Seconding this.
Following
Grew up in the NYC area.
I find Manhattan to be overwhelming. I like Queens / Brooklyn but the prices for everything in trendy spots are insane. Fun to visit, still on the fence if I ever want to live there. All my siblings have spent time renting in the city at some point, I'm the only one who hasn't.
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