Help a little boy find his way

Hey everyone,

I'm currently a Junior at a non-target looking to apply to a Summer Analyst position in IB, sales/trading, equity research, credit research, etc. I would really appreciate anyone taking a look and giving me any feedback and suggestions. Don't hold back. I really want to know my chances of landing an interview.

Thanks!

http://www.razume.com/documents/16254

9 Comments
 
mehplooks good but "60 hours of community service / year" sounds weird

And probably not meaningful enough to put in a quantative way. Maybe something like annual community service doing XXX

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Any reason you want to be IB rather than work at one of the prop shops you interned at? I would kill to be in one of those shops.

 

Any number less than 10 should be spelled out -- i.e., "5" should be five. Also, Bachelor of ScienceS? Is it a plural at your school?

We'll pick the nits so your reviewer won't.

 
Best Response

Some thoughts on your resume in addition to my question.

Education: What did you do in your honor society other than be a member? Make coursework maybe one line - add projects you worked on or a couple courses with more detail (ones directly relevant and/or interesting to what you are applying for)

Experience: Don't head two lines in a row with "Worked" it gets repetitive. In the second line start with "Developed" and try to get that in one line (or you could say "Helped Develop" or "Assisted Development" Last bullet point under SIG needs to go - I get you did pnl sheets but you already said that Talk more about the 5 funds you managed - what did you do specifically? did you do it well? Don't say "spoke" try "collaborated" - you want actiony power words. also don't say "on a daily basis" say daily.

Extracurricular: Don't mention the hours on community service and if you were on the soccer team you need to expand that maybe. What did you do? What positions did you fulfill in the fraternity? What events did you help to put together and host? That sort of thing is good.

Computer skills: The formatting here is weird. You expanded it out like crazy because you want to highlight it, but there's not much here. What I would do is kill this section and put it all as a bullet point under education.

Awards: Here is where I think you need to expand a lot. What I would do is merge Awards with Extracurricular, just call it extracurricular. Then for each of the 8 bullets you got make two sentences, or sub-bullets, to go under each one. Kill the extra amount of white space under your work experience category and computer skills should be completely taken out. You'll end up with EXPERIENCE, EDUCATION, and then EXTRACURRICULAR - I think it should be in that order to (sometimes they say to do it in chronological order but most resumes are in this order so I think this is the way to go). If you want you could make ACTIVITIES and AWARDS sub categories of EXTRACURRICULAR like you have each of your jobs as sub categories of experience. If you do all that it will be less cluttered, you'll get rid of a ton of whitespace, and you'll add a ton of information about yourself. Your goal should be to fill the page to the bottom without doing more than a double space between categories.

General: Work on those periods! Some places you end a sentence with a period, other places you did not. Way too much whitespace.

 

Oh and another stupid thing. On my resume I put my name in the middle and my address on the left side (like on a letter or envelope) and my contact info in the right. That way the white space under my name is sort of highlighted. I also all cap my name. I see from your redaction that you don't do this. Like this.

MONKEYSAMA THE GREAT

Monkeyplace Plaza phone (yum) ba-na-na Apartment Bananas email [email protected]

 

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