Beautiful 25 year old girl responds
Dear Sir,
I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.
By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.
If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.
You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.
Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).
I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.
Yeah... this doesn't take me aback or entertain at all... she sounds boring and stupid. What'd she do, jot down a bunch of wall st terms?
well if you actually read her response it does have some merrit to it. But I doubt she was the one that wrote it, she probably gave head to some other banker/trader and got him to write it on her behalf.
There's no way this was written by the same person.
And it's not smart, witty, or funny. Boring and repetitive. Agree with Banking on Inve
I think this was written by a dull-witted man, actually. Maybe a frustrated self-hating banker, who could never get around to crafting a sentence that didn't sound like Al Gore.
the op wrote this....and if he is a guy, he should be deeply troubled by the fact that he just impersonated a woman. freud would have quite a bit to say about this.
Agree, the woman definitely didn't write this, and the response is clearly trying too hard. At no point in the man's original response did he liken himself to "equity", which makes the latter half of this letter that much more retarded.
Even if the outflows are "quite certain", a 25 year old woman still depreciates on an accelerated basis, not a straight-line one.
ks112, she (or he) used the terms properly, but they didn't make much sense. If you want to get technical, she compared wall street jobs to plastic surgery...talk about a crappy simile...
Sure the job market might be tumultuous, but she obviously was just pissed and googled a bunch of banking terms, or like you said, just gave a blowjob to some "banker" and he told her a bunch of "neat" terms. But even if it had merit, it wasn't humorous at all... I found the original hilarious because he was funny with what he said, not corny and stupid.
Why would any guy want to incur "additional capital expenditure" on an asset which has passed its useful economic life, in addition to the presumably high operating expenses already incurred on a periodic basis?
Would you "fix up" your E36 BMW M3 so it functions like the day you got it, or buy a new one?
depends on how much coin i have at the momment.
a dictionary and shat this turd out...
she is proposing marriage via the internet and is living with her boyfriend in central park west? throw her ass out on to the street.
Nope. I concur. Not the same woman... and it was a boring read. I'm disappointed.
And she was asking for marriage like what? a week ago TOPS? and now all of a sudden she has that dream bf, even though she says she has no time for a boyfriend. Obvious discrepancies lead me to believe she's a major liar and has some screws loose in the head.
who cares, the point is that a hoe is a hoe and they don't act right. So all you can do is pump and dump.
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