Constant stress is getting me horny as fuck?!

Bros, this is super weird, I´ve been getting these super strong intervals of extreme hornyness lately whenever I´m hustling or anxious. Like, unreal stuff, I´m talking some deep web Slaneesh-type fantasy shit, and it´s slowly poisoning my life. I´m constantly hard, I can´t stop ogling people anymore and even the dyed-hair SJWs in the Starbucks next door are starting to look reeaaal tempting every morning. Help bros, I have a long distance GF, and I don´t want to drag her into this shit. Should I go to church? Advice is appreciated.

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  • Intern in PE - Growth
Jun 9, 2021 - 6:53am

If only, man. She literally lives on the other side of the planet.

Jun 8, 2021 - 5:09pm

Any guy who says he's not horny 24/7 is a liar.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

  • 1
Jun 8, 2021 - 5:18pm

I can hear Krusty telling them he fucked their mothers.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 8, 2021 - 6:13pm

Get the Tenga Flip Zero and the Autoblow AI 2. I used to be in a LDR (extremely cucked don't recommend) and it kept from me from nutting inside other girls. Different sensation from BJ but better in some ways and super tight. You're going to be masturbating thousands of times in your life if you're a horny motherfucker like I am, treat yourself to something nice 

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 8, 2021 - 7:47pm

100% serious. The Tenga is like $130 (best value imo) and amazing. Think about how much joy it will bring you and how many times you'll use it (~500 times) and it's like 25 cents per nut. 3D Girls (ew) are like $25 per nut minimum 

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 10, 2021 - 1:31am

which is worse, being manipulative and gaming girls into sex, cheating during a relationship, sleeping with random tinder hoes and probably getting STDs, or, or, or, using technology to mitigate the fact that I'm unbelievably horny and need to nut 4-6 times a day (~3 times with my reduced libido from being tired from work) to function normally and have mind blowing orgasms 

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Jun 10, 2021 - 1:35am

It's like you can either roll a dice and have a 12.5% chance of getting A5 Kobe Wagyu, 12.5% chance of getting filet mignon, 12.5% chance of getting ribeye, 37.5% chance of getting sirloin (just the) tip steak, 25% chance of going hungry. Or, you can have a 100% chance of getting filet mignon (the autoblow ai 2) whenever you want 24/7. I'll eat all the steak because I'm a hungry motherfucker but it's a good tool to have in your arsenal.

Jun 8, 2021 - 7:01pm

Had to google but is that a warhammer 40K reference?

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

Jun 10, 2021 - 9:05am

You should consider some serious training to channel that testosterone, such as BJJ or MMA five days a week combined with an intensive workouts of functional training such as running, natural weight and weight lifting, should do wonders, seriously I don't think that you'll have any more physical desire than recover from that every week and it will work wonders after a couple months...

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 10, 2021 - 9:27pm

Get more sleep, exercise, don't be afraid to utilize masturbation to keep things under control when needed

Jun 11, 2021 - 12:18pm

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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