Craigslist Ad Of The Day - Finance Bro Needs Someone To Break In His Sandals For Him
So which one of you posted this on craigslist?
Looking to hire a brah to break in my new Rainbow flops. I don't have time to do it and I need them broken in like yesterday cause my feet are totally soft from rockin' my Tod's driving mocs all winter. This isn't just your normal everyday flip flop break-in job, I need you to imitate my whole deal so they're like proper.First off my gate, you've gotta walk like me to get these puppies to fit me right, think McConaughey meets the guy you wish you were who walks out of Citi Bank HQ on a casual Friday, picture a Patagonia fleece vest with a Brooks Bros. non-iron.
Second, you need to go places where I'll wear 'em to get them used to the terrain. Tribeca Tap House, the Brandy Library, Tiny's, the Frying Pan, and the Boat Basin. Don't FUCKING bring these things to Brooklyn, I know you think the roof of Berry Park in Williams-balls is the boner, but it's just for poor people who can't afford 230 Fifth.Outfit provided and pictured below, includes boot koozie in case you need something to help you jam harder to Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show. If you don't know what that is then stay in Hoboken and keep watching MMA.
Send references of other footwear you've broken in, if you mention a Ralph Lauren shoe of any kind, especially Polo Sport I'll know you went to SUNY or CUNY and you won't be considered.
My old 'bows are pictured here, they need to look like this by Belmont. Payment negotiable, but you need to be able to accept a credit card cause I want Starwood points for my Amex. Out.
I wrote this
Golden
that was hilarious
Not sure if serious or not, but that was rather amusing.
Sadly I too am still unsure of how serious this guy is... I don't wanna believe its real but the fact he actually took a picture of a outfit and koozie lead me to believe otherwise.
So sick
Classic but gotta question this bro's hot spots - 230 fifth? Worst rooftop in the city. Boat Basin and Frying Pan are for wannabe WASPs from the Midwest who don't know any better. Try harder
Lol 230 5th. Place is good to snatch tourists
I get the creeping suspicion that you're using "snatch" more in the Ted Bundy sense and less in the Tucker Max sense.
Pretty funny. I think he's intentionally picking lame "brah chill spots"... but seeing all the monkey's eager to exclaim that "the places he's naming aren't cool enough" is amusing in and of itself.
NF. Making your summer analyst break them in. TFM.
oh cool...you can read barstool sports
that's where I saw it too
The bro wants Starwood points. That right there tells me he a joke. If you can't afford to rent out a penthouse apartment in Des Moines and are forced to stay at a Starwood property, well you aren't a true baller.
Sad day when an iconic SoCal brand is dragged through the mud by an east coast bro douche.
could not have put it better myself
Kind of funny. Sandals are for the beach, though. No one wants to see your dirty ass feet.
hahahaha, instant classic
Funny, highly doubt he's serious.
If so it's another matter
who wants someone elses foot molded to their rainbows
That's gross. I don't want someone else's feet sweating and getting dirty in my sandals that are for my own feet
probably should wear something a little nicer to Belmont
reef, olukai & chaco>rainbow anyway, so this guy blew it from the get go
all of that said, still hilarious.
Reef's are cool for middle class people living in states nowhere near a coast
For the Belmont, I'd go with Stubbs if you want a step up from boat shoes
you must not have grown up in a surf community. in high school I managed the surf department for one of the biggest surf shops on the mid atlantic, and Reef was a top seller. as a surfer, I can tell you they're top notch. my point was Belmont deserves close toed shoes, as you suggested with Stubbs, but if you must wear sandals, rainbows are overrated imo.
Since when did it become okay to pre-layer folded polos like that?
it's never been ok for anyone to wear more than one polo, ever.
lolwut
flip flops lol...C'MON MANYE.
He must have interned at a polo shop.
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