Cringeworthy LinkedIn posts

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Let's comment some of our favorite cringeworthy LinkedIn posts. Here are some of mine:

  1. "Humbled and honored to announce that I have accepted an offer at company x..."
  2. "Had a transformative experience attending company x's two-day leadership program..."
  3. "Honored to receive a full time offer from..."

P.S. I'm not a salty guy or anything. I just find some of these LinkedIn posts to be extremely cringeworthy. I've attended multiple diversity programs with different firms this year and I find it laughable that after spending 2 or 3 days doing some BS stuff, a lot of people will go on LinkedIn to post about how the experience was extremely transformative and life changing. Like come on. All we did was receive presentations about the company and some "professional development" sessions. But whatever. Each to his own.

Comments (236)

 
Aug 18, 2019 - 3:22pm

Those people who put every single 2 day diversity program they did as a job on LinkedIn so they keep showing up in searches. I was looking for alums in various banks and this one kid who's a rising junior kept appearing as having worked at GS, MS, JPM, BAML, and others. Clicked his profile and he did a bunch of BS leadership seminars but put every single one as a job on LinkedIn with a multi-paragraph description of each.

Array
 
Aug 18, 2019 - 3:32pm

OP I legit unfollow any one that either posts something like this or siphons shit like this into my feed by liking it.

Something else that drives me crazy is ppl that just like a news story or article because it popped up in their feed. I've seen a few articles running for two years now. Especially this one about "GM having a female CEO and female CFO" with this stupid picture of their CFO. It is two years old and it pops up in my feed all the time still.

Rise and grind
 
Aug 19, 2019 - 3:33pm

I would be mortified if I became CEO or CFO and it was even mentioned that I was a woman, let alone celebrated. Its weak, it's a weak move. That law in California mandated that a female be on the board? I promise you, women do not look out for other women. All of the sudden they think they're Navy Seals. I would never want to work for a company like that

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 12:25am

Had to check this out for myself to see if it was widespread and WOW. My favorites so far that I've seen are Senior Contributing Author and another that mentions that they conduct financial research to write daily articles that get between 2,000 and 5,000 views. If I were to ever see this on a resume it would be a DING!

Array
 
Aug 18, 2019 - 5:07pm

Coming from a recent Level I passer - agreed.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
 
Most Helpful
Aug 18, 2019 - 4:57pm

So I’m not gonna defend this cringe posts, as I agree LinkedIn is painfully commoditized for a professional social network. However, just playing advocate a lot of times in this age of diversity - and ranges of schools that are sending people to Wall Street, you’re getting kids whose diversity days, full time offers, and internships are a first for them in their family, or maybe a big stride relative to their peers, or a rebrand for themselves perhaps. I see where it’s cringe, and I don’t do it myself, but if someone’s prideful of an achievement well I guess it’s not all that bad. We’ve all seen infinitely worse on social media. Some of the “motivational” posts like the one about the guy in sweats paying and lots of recruitment posts about candidates and stuff are completely nonsense though I agree.

 
Aug 18, 2019 - 5:00pm

Kid from undergrad who is now at a Big 4 is notorious for these. Had a good one this week. I get a notification on Friday:

"Congratulate (Name) for being promoted to New England Managing Partner Advisory Committee: Representative for the Boston Tax Function of (Company Name)."

This Director came back with:

"Way to use fancy words to announce you joined the group that decides on snacks for busy season."

Murdered. Looks like he took it down.

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
 
Aug 18, 2019 - 5:06pm

Great wholesome Sunday post. Linkedin Flex on Instagram is a great spot for a laugh if needed

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.
 
Aug 18, 2019 - 9:07pm

The classic "end of internship" post. The vast majority of these posts that clog my feed every August come from the internship programs that you know for a fact are bogus, yet the posters claim that their experience was "transformative" and "enlightening." They also talk about the "unique company culture." Ugh

Array
 
Aug 18, 2019 - 10:12pm

The motivational stories/posts drive me nuts. Especially given most are reposts full of blatent lies...

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 2:11am

I just had dinner at Dorsia with my boss Patrick Bateman. He has made my summer internship in the M&A department at Pierce and Pierce so much fun. From discussing Huey Lewis and the News or Whitney Houston, Patrick has been more than just a mentor in the world of finance but has introduced to an eclectic variety of new music. I am so lucky to have a boss like Patrick! #shareyourstory

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 11:27pm

This one time I ate a cracker, and it fell to the ground; I picked it up and looked at it. It looked funny, but I didn't know why. Then someone came over, looked at it, and then back at me. He said goddamn I didn't know you were twins! And to think that my dad said that at the Superbowl in front of all of those people and Tom Brady watching... I'm not even white; I'm like kind of peach-colored if I'm being realistic. I hope that you all take the lesson from this story, which is that you shouldn't lie to your grandparents.

Array
 
Aug 19, 2019 - 5:40am

Has anyone else been seeing a lot of these: "I am truly honored to have been selected as a scholar of the Forbes under 30 summit in Detroit. This summit aims to bring together brilliant young leaders, founders and creators for a life-changing four days of connecting, learning, teaching and building. I can’t wait to network with other scholars and the great young minds that are transforming our society. "

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 6:06am

Oh! You wish you were in India. Every few months, your feed would get flooded with absolute morons going:

"With God's grace and my parents' blessings, I have cleared CFA Level 1/2/3/4/5/6/88/ CA/CPA/MBA/WTF. Invariably followed by - I am now looking for jobs in investment banking, equity research, transaction advisory, private equity - in short anything under the moon that says 'finance'. If you have any recommendations, please pass them on to me. If not, please like and share this post, so it reaches out to the right people."

These blithering idiots beg with such ignorance that it boils my blood to the last drop. I have even received private messages stating - My brother has cleared enter your favorite certification's name that states you can slog for anywhere between 300-1000 hours and is looking for a job. Please hlp. Thnx in advance.

Honestly, if I had the time and resources, I would personally blacklist each of these individuals and make sure I never get involved with any of 'em in my entire life. Except, obviously, if they have reached the C-level of a publicly listed company; in which case, it would be my honor to short their stock.

 
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 20, 2019 - 12:23pm

Saw this kid with Student at Harvard University in her headline once, turned out she was at the extension school, except for she wasn't even yet, because school hadn't even started (saw this in June, I guess harvard starts in Aug/Sep)

Ditto on all the kids who put HBS peek weekend in their education as Harvard Business School

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 8:24pm

I don't know. Who decides what is and isn't a title?

I think its mostly pretty weird when people take their credential promotion to such an extreme degree that it changes what they call themselves. If you're a doctor (like a real doctor, not a PhD), then fine, but only because its so normal to do. Even then I think if I was a doc I'd skip it.

If you're not a doc its just weird to me. Esquire, CFA . . come on now with that shit. Unless you're out there saving lives I think a good old fashioned first and last name is the way to be.

 
Aug 20, 2019 - 10:21am

Yep. Same goes for other certs too. The lawyer in the cheap suit at the cocktail party who's trying to give you his business card so he can draft your will; he has Esq after his name. The partner at Cravath does not.

Growing up a lot of my friends dads were docs or dentists. One of them stood out because he was one of the top heart surgeons around. He had Saudi oil guys and other VIPs flying in from all over the world to see him. The hospital had a permanent 'parking spot' at the local private airport for his patients. No coincidence that he was also the only one among these docs to introduce himself by his first name instead of Dr. ____.

If you need to tell people about your educational credentials, its just another way of telling them you haven't made it yet.

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 1:52pm

I have mixed feelings about LinkedIn flexes because my hunch is that recruiters/headhunters processes those flexes differently than us. From what I've seen, the more you show off the more likely these recruiters will reach out to you for relevant positions vs a profile with only a job title and picture, especially for those in non-brand names or ambiguous titles.

My viewpoint on "incoming X BB position" also completely shifted when I saw a kid get poached for a PE analyst job because of it so...

Also another sour truth in the consumer space: Instagram influencers actually DO dominate consumer decision making today. It's one of the few avenues if used correctly that brands can cost effectively acquire customers. In other words, flexing and clout has transitioned from an insecure joke to material impact.

Check out my blog EjAhead.wordpress.com
 
Aug 19, 2019 - 2:01pm

You bring up a good point about Instagram, but if anything, I think the idea of LinkedIn bragging actually works in reverse. In many name brand firms across industries, the top poaching companies don't have recruiters look on LinkedIn, they have them contact the companies for lists of their analyst classes and then email them directly. This allows both parties to guarantee the quality of the other side.

In consulting at least, many of the post-undergrad analysts/associates are poached by the clients they've interacted with, not by some rando on LinkedIn contacting them

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 1:58pm

Pretty sure we can categorize the content into different groups based on factors like cringe level and overdone language:

The "Meh okay, I get why they're sharing even if I don't agree with it":

  • Job title says "Incoming Investment Banking Restructuring Analyst at PJT"
  • Posts that they are "Honored to announce I'll be joining Blackrock in their (insert macro strategy group) as a new Business Analyst....who would have thought (insert inspiring circumstance like disease/immigrant/underrepresented status) would manage to get here. Everyone follow your dreams!"

The "Okay, you're reaching here buddy, please stop":

  • Job description *under name in searches *says "McKinsey & Company Diversity Event Attendee"
  • Posts incessant somewhat helpful articles about how to maximize productivity or get better at sales

The "Oh my god, you're the reason why LinkedIn is starting to turn into Instagram for type A people"

  • Job title states they are a "Creative Visionary" and their summary uses third person to state "Jason hopes to be the most interesting man you will ever meet"
  • They post at least 3 times a day with "motivational" articles that don't seem to motivate them to get off LinkedIn and do their own jobs
 
Aug 27, 2019 - 10:03am

It's heading in that direction. I'm thinking they might successfully nip it in the bud though. Intentionally or not, they did something pretty smart by starting out as a quiet, boring network for job stuff. Now everyone's built stronger linkedin networks including future clients/employers, and this limits their ability to act like a tool on LinkedIn. Some still do it of course, but many are more cautious.

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 5:00pm

I work in a sales role and my LinkedIn feed is out of control. This is the first post I saw after reading this thread.

A rep who was struggling told me they were "Trying their best"

I asked back. "Are you sure it's your best or just hardest?"

They said back "My best"

I asked "Can I challenge you and see?"

Rep: "yes"

So I asked the following questions.

Are you hitting X emails per day?
Are you practicing daily?
Are you reviewing your calls?
Are you hitting your dial metrics daily?
Are you loading X leads into your cadence per day?
Are you seeking out help from management?
Are all leads getting 7-8 touches?

Sadly most came back with ashamed "no's"

KD: Can you do these things at your best?

Rep: Yes I can, and I will.

KD: Nice, make it happen.

--

There is a big difference between your Hardest and your Best

That's why you'll rarely hear me talk about reps 'working harder'

It's almost impossible to truly call someone out for work ethic because it's all a feeling.

Everyone FEELS like they are working hard, but aren't close to their best.

Just telling someone to work harder is lazy leadership.

Making them their best is what a great leader does.

Here is my challenge to you -

Define what you at your BEST would do..

Pick one of those things you're not doing.

And start.

For extra accountability, put what it is in the comments!

PS - This rep has already turned it around!

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 5:21pm

This prick I worked for (a total of 5 days before I realised he was a bull shitting scum bag) - posts never ending posts about himself, how his employees work all night long, videos of himself and leadership etc... Also what you need to do to sell etc... Basically an obnoxious moron.
Background on him: had left my job and had 5 months to burn before my MBA - he had a well funded startup and was launching in the UK. The guy was a fucking joke, a bull shitter and always trying to get some poor unsuspecting investment banker or consultant to quite their jobs to join him. I took one look at glassdoor and realised they were complete crooks in Asia and just left. I had to threaten to take them to court as they wouldn't pay for my week of work. Scum bags.

 
  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
Aug 19, 2019 - 5:43pm

I think a simple title update to "Incoming [Position] at [Firm]" is actually ok, considering headhunters have been really ramping up buy-side recruitment. Anything more very easily becomes cringeworthy

 
Aug 23, 2019 - 3:39am

Agreed. I know this is a point of contention on this forum every damn day, but I think there's nothing wrong with having "incoming X at Y" as a position, but I would turn off the "update" option when adding it to your profile. I think it's obnoxious if everyone in your network gets a notification that you're an incoming something, but merely having it on your profile as a position is completely benign and it's ridiculous that people complain about it given how normal it has become in the past 2-3 years.

 
Aug 19, 2019 - 7:51pm

College students sharing what their opinions on interest rates are or providing any sort of investment advice.

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO INVEST IN BONDS"

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn

 
Aug 20, 2019 - 9:12am

Assume you're referencing the people who just put "Analyst at Goldman Sachs" on their LinkedIn? I would agree that this is misleading and intentionally vague. I know people who put this and get 100s of likes on their new job update because everyone outside of the IB world believes that it is an IB or more prestigious position. Kind of obnoxious.

Array
 
Aug 21, 2019 - 11:55am

"I am proud to have had the privilege of studying the course Cross Cultural Management in the past semester. This course helped me to learn the virtues of working in diverse groups. I am thrilled to see how I can contribute towards making diverse groups more efficient and successful in my future endeavours."

Array
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