Cute girl on campus - need advice
Okay, so there's this super cute girl on campus. I have no idea who she is, have no classes with her, and only see her once or twice a week. I only see her in my school common area, I get cold feet because if I go up to her and get rejected people will definitely notice, I don't mind the rejection but it's the setting that makes me nervous. Also, don't want to come across as creepy. I kind of just want to go up to her and another part of me feels like I should start a convo with her another way. Maybe have a friend introduce me idk. Im probably overthinking this but give me validation anyway.
Pizz Help me out here bro.
Oh no, ur gonna get this topic flagged
I just wanna see what that boy has to say.
Lol
In college I would always try to meet people in more social settings since it's much easier than trying to approach them on campus out of nowhere. There's nothing wrong with that if you have the balls to do it but if you're lucky maybe you'll see her at a bar/party and you can make your move. If you can find out her name try to see if you have mutual friends
True, but I don't if she'll be there, literally only see her for like an hour on Mondays, and the reason I saw her was that I was cutting class. I had some girl just randomly ask for my number in the library once, didn't even know she was sitting close to me. Too bad this girl won't do that. I think it will be best to create a scenario where I can talk to her. Maybe I spill a hot cup of coffee on her/her laptop and as she reacts that'll be my in.
Just don't wait too long and let her get away. Her dad could be an MD and fall recruiting is wrapping up
I didn't even think about this angle. SB'd
In that case, he should ask out the dad instead.
Seems pretty binary to me - either you talk to her, she's cold and you basically get rejected or you talk to her and you're further along than you were as a stranger and secret admirer. Yes the setting isn't necessarily the best but it's not necessarily something that you can control or change so why let that be your deterrent? Chances are that most people in the common area are talking among themselves and/or preoccupied with what's on their phones/laptops so not much to worry about in terms of people seeing whether you get rejected or not unless you're an obnoxiously loud speaker or going to make your advances with a megaphone. + If you get red-faced and self-conscious about the rejection, just leave the common area immediately lmao
If/when you approach, just project confidence & sociability and strive to have a fairly quick conversation (for the sake of both parties) - introduce yourself, maybe say that you've seen her around a couple of times, ask her name, what she's studying, how's she's enjoying school/the semester so far and see how the conversation unfolds. If the convo is fairly positive, just end on a good note and say something like "I have to go, but nice meeting you xxx. I guess I'll see you around." You don't have to be a closer on the first conversation - just do enough so that you can have repeated interactions when you see her again so that you can eventually hang out.
You're overthinking this...
Just walk up to her and say, "Hey I always see you on campus, just wanted to stop by on my way to class and say hi"
If you're a decent looking dude who provides value, why the fuck would she not want to talk to you? The people watching will just assume your friends. As long as you're not asking her out right away how is she going to reject you? Just talk to her for 2-3 min, excuse yourself and grab her #.
I know I'm overthinking this. I got to cut my Monday class again if I want to see her and when I see her this is what I'll do. Thanks man.
have you ever smiled at her and gotten a smile back? that's your first step. if you make eye contact with her, smile, and then keep doing what you're doing, be it reading something, chatting with friends, whatever. do this for a couple of weeks, and then take one of two tracks: direct or roundabout
direct: have an excuse to invite her to something. "hey, I've seen you around, I'm Reeses, nice to meet you. (this next part depends on her reception of your introducing yourself) my friends and I do a pretty good tailgate on saturday, do you and your friends have any plans for this weekends game? oh you're not going because you've got young whig party scuba diver club on saturdays? that's cool, if you don't have plans after, can I call you for the after party?" if she resists those, no worries, plenty of fish in the sea, and if it's a bad rejection, ask out the hottest girl within immediate earshot of this chick
roundabout: you keep noticing each other on campus, making eye contact, smiling, and so on, and eventually you will run into her and you'll have to say something like "nice seeing you somewhere other than the quad" and then try and strike up a conversation. this one is hit or miss, and lacks intentionality, so I don't approve
I had a situation like this in college and I've found the direct approach is always best. we locked eyes numerous times during the semester and she randomly came up to my work shopping with her friends, and after finally breaking the ice with her, I could tell she'd wanted me to approach her early on. so shoot your shot. if you're polite, offer something easy (day drinking instead of a dinner date, group instead of 1:1), and don't get angry at rejection, you'll be fine.
TLDR: shoot your shot
Next time I see her, I'm going to talk to her. I can't keep cutting my Monday class for this girl. It's been about two weeks and I only see her once a week so and we are already halfway through the semester so running out of time. She really got me feeling some sort of way, I feel like I'm HS again haha.
Look man, the key is to not give too much of a shit about her. You have to be really nonchalant about it. Talk to her like you would talk to any other person, or like you would talk to an ugly girl. You must be confident so she sees you as "above" her. Train yourself to think that if it doesn't work out, there are a million of these broads out there. Be cool about it.
Rejection is a key to success. You need to find out an interest of hers and then approach her but try not to sound like a hitter. If she does not walk away immediately, you have a shot. If she says, I gotta go, you have been rejected. You have nothing to lose here. If she rejects you, it will make you more comfortable when you want to go up to the next female.
Life is about managing failure, I know that. I think the only way for me to have a shot is to just talk to her. As I said, I don't know her at all and none of my friends do either, I have seen her two or three times in two weeks and can't stop thinking about her.
Shoot your shot, king. Never let your concern of what others think dictate your life.
Hey man I’ll give you some tips.
First of all, if you’re likely to pass someone again, you should optimally take a 2 step approach.
You don’t have to get her number the first day. Just walk up to her and say “hey - I don’t think we’ve met.” And then introduce each other and then say “nice to meet you” as you end it and walk away. While you’re walking away say - “hey nice shirt or earrings or necklace” or something real smooth as you walk away.
You want to plant a seed and seem mysterious and refined and confident. Let her convince herself that you’re the new exciting thing. Then next time you meet her, call her out by name and she will practically beg for your details and to go out if you’ve done it right.
The important part is to plant a good seed first impression and never forget confidence and humor reap dividends.
You really had me at “2 step approach”
This one. There is two way.
Be the funny guy
Or be the mysterious guy
Ok plenty of good advice on here. I would say go up to her, why are you so scared??? Go up to her and say hey I’ve seen you around and thought you’re cute, do you wanna go out? She’s in college, she wants dick as much as the girl sitting next to you in class. Don’t be scared bud, she’ll respect you for telling her the truth
IF she says no (I have a bf,etc) say do you wanna be friends? Girls wants friends too. Then hang out with her, and eventually get in her pants/heart through this way eventually
I'm going to talk to her when I see her again next week. I'm not scared, it's just the setting isn't the best. But fuck it.
Why the monkey shit guys? There's nothing wrong with going up to a girl and asking her out.
Fuck it. Pizz is right. You missed 100% of the shoots you don't take. And you make losses and the shots you fuck up. Go up to her, be confident and before that observe your surroundings. Hell I can pull a girl even if I walked in the wrong side of the washroom if I want to.
This is why ur getting BJs from ur wife and he isn't
How big is your school?
Pretty big but not huge.
tell her you work at an EB. or even better: you are an incoming summer analyst at Houlihan RX & that is much more prestigious than GS.
and tell her your best friend is an associate at Apollo, she will melt to your RX and MFPE connections
I’m honestly really hoping this works out for you. I stayed in a shitty ass relationship throughout all 4 years of college but always had those “cute girl over there” thoughts and wanted to do something about it. Keep us updated brotha
How ugly are you?? Seriously, cmon man just walk up to her and say "hey, I see you here all the time, do you mind if I sit with you?"
I’m going to just make it real easy, put your Apple Watch in your pocket before you get to that area of campus, then when you see her “how do you like your Apple Watch I’ve been thinking about getting one?”
With a bit of eq you’ll be breaking the slats under her mattress in no time.
Just ask to take her out. Match on tinder.
Literally just take action. Are you socially awkward man?
Hilarious that you are asking a forum that is half autistic about how to approach and talk to a girl
Just go up to her and start a convo. I think of approaching girls as a win-win situation. If she likes you and gives you her number, that's great. If she doesn't like you, that's rejection therapy. You wanna become super comfortable with rejection
Sounds like something a non target slime would say!
Do you ever catch her staring at you? If so it'll make the interaction much easier. I agree with the two step approach that other people have said. College girls don't really like randos just straight up asking for their number in non party settings so building some rapport the first time simplifies when you ask her later on.
Nah man just leave her alone, she's trying to pursue an (expensive) education. If she actually liked you, you would already know
U must be fun at parties
Forget about it and if you two should talk you’ll talk
Best policy quit simpin
Lots of good advice above.
You’re probably going to mess this up if you try it for the first time. And that’s ok.
After doing this about five times you will become comfortable.
walk up to her, get down and give me 20. i don't care what it is. push ups, sit ups, I don't care. just do 20.
"Hi my name is…" and then you’re money
Didn’t see her today... will update when I do.
U got this bro!!
Yeah man go for it. Ask her normal questions like "Hey, are you a sophomore?" "What classes are you taking?" etc to get the ball rolling. See where the conversation goes and try to be affable. Ask her for her number at the end, keep in touch, and ask her out later or something. And if in the end it doesn't work out, who gives a fuck? And if it does work, great!
Legendary
Im so invested in this now pls update, thx.
Update?!?
You’re as invested in this as I am! Hopefully I’ll see her sometime this week, otherwise I’ll have to wait till next Monday. I’ll update the post then. Shitty thing is, no one in my group knows her. It may turn out like that Brazilian girl situation.
Don't worry man. What's the downside? Ur already at the downside right now--u don't have her currently. There's only upside if you approach her. Remember that
So much anticipation on this thread. I've got a pro tip no one else thought to mention. With an entire community working in finance no one mentioned a downside case?
Plot twist: OP hasn't had a real chance to get a good look as he's only seen her from afar. As he approaches, he realizes that he has let his imagination fill in the looks.
In this scenario it's too late to walk away so you just ask for something that likely no one carries with. Play it off, continue to ask others around the vicinity.
I finally saw her again after 3 weeks of nothing and went up to her. Introduced myself, she laughed and said she had a boyfriend (or said that to me lmao) and that was it. So my one-sided month long “romance” has come to an end. Glad I did it though, won’t have to live with “what if” like with that girl from freshman year. Thanks for the advice all of you.
Pizz here is the update, sir.
Good for you man. Shooting your shot is always the right move
My experience has been that each rejection has helped Me give fewer shits about future rejections. Hopefully has the same effect on you
Finding out she has a boyfriend feels way better than not approaching and having the “what if” at the back of your mind the entire fine. Awesome.
Strategize for next time. Maybe find out about relationship status before approaching. Or, instead of approaching from the beginning, find a way to start a platonic relationship as with any other people. If she’s single, then scoop in, if she’s not, wait till she is, then scoop in.
Just walk up say whaddup and ask for her name then rock with it from there. This method takes top notch confidence, the ability to make a girl laugh on spot should that be needed, and be able to pivot bob and weave and then close if you see the opportunity. I did this regularly back in school and it was fire. It’s all a numbers game, it’s like sales, do this with 10 girls, 1 turns over and she ends up blowing you in her dorm after a late library sesh. Let your nuts hang and start talking to girls
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