Do you miss being a student? Why/why not?

Been contemplating my life after 4 years of working (1 year M&A, 2 years MF buyouts, 1 year UMM GE). I feel my life satisfaction has gotten progressively worse since I started getting onto the careerist treadmill. I don't really learn anything interesting new anymore. 

It feels honestly a STEM/philosophy freshman in college is exercising his brain harder than an associate at Blackstone. As a mid-level guy now, it's gotten even worse. My daily challenges are how to manage stakeholders, persuade people to do what is in your best interest (and not necessarily theirs), convince your boss you're worthwhile, get founders to like you, how to dodge work while maintaining appearances, etc. 

I still remember when GS/MS/JP and MBB came to my school and basically said (sometimes explicitly): If you want to be doing the smartest work with the smartest people, come join XYZ. What a load of baloney lol. 

Plus when I was a student I could spend time with an eclectic, diverse group of brilliant and often good-looking young people. Now I am mostly stuck with a pretty homogenous group of status-obsessed finance/consulting/tech people. I had full autonomy over my schedule - if I didn't want to show up for class, it was ok - there were a million ways to make up for it without anyone thinking twice. I had twice the amount of free time I had. And even during the amount of time I was studying, it was actually very intellectually stimulating and interesting. 

 

When you are young and a student, your parents or society carry you. Everything is paid for by them, you have the time and freedom to do as you please. Almost everything is easier: working out, studying, learning something new, dating, finding friends, plenty of time, hobbies/interests, etc.
When you graduate, it is time to give back to society. Pay your taxes, give up your time/health for someone/something, less freedom and more responsibilities.

What I miss most is that I was more "free" inside of my head as a student, I was very much more of an intellectual than now. Read more books, wrote more, had time to take care of things and socialized a lot more than now.

 
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it depends on where you come from. if you come from an affluent family that donated a lot to an Ivy League school, and they set up everything for you so that you go to that Ivy League school, and you take easiest classes and enjoy your time, and then your family helps you to get to BB IB. then yeah, you've been cruising all your life until you actually need to put in work to stay in IB or move to PE and work there. so, in this case the hard period starts when you start to work.

however, if you come from a poor family, and grind your way to a decent school by studying 24/7, and then transfer to a semi-target and work even harder to catch-up to everybody's level, and then try to recruit but nobody cares cause you're just a semi-target, so you spend all your time trying to keep GPA high and at the same time make 10+ calls and send 100+ emails every day, and prepare for recruiting. then you eventually get an offer from a consulting shop and after a year of hard work you prove yourself and now your managers and partners let you work flexible schedule and you work 40h weeks and make $150k. in this case, life only starts after you're done with studying, and the period when you work is actually the best part of your life.

 

They werent kidding when they said college will be the best four years of your life. Around friends 24/7. All grinding out school work while also playing hard (at least in my case). Not having to worry about taxes and adult things, taking it one step at a time.Maybe you should take some sort of sabbatical? What is your personal life like, if you even have one? Good relationships/friendships? Maybe you should start considering jumping to a smaller shop where you may have a tangible impact on operations.

Go all the way
 

No.

Friends you meet during university? - After university your social circle changes and so the people who surround you. Volunteering, participating in different projects, etc. - No one cares, pointless shit. Partying, going to clubs, alcohol, weed? - Fun somewhat, but not related to university. I can do that whenever I want. Listening  professors discuss different topics? - I prefer to listen what is practical, not theoretical shit I wouldn't need in my entire career. Topics discussed with other students from campus? - Average Joe discussions about sports, famous people, etc. meanwhile I was interested in discussions about moving abroad, philosophy, life goals, etc.

I have some good friends, met some other good ones at university which whom I will maintain relationships for the rest of my life. But I could also meet people in other places. One big plus at university is you can have a lot of sex if you want it. You are surrounded by girls which are the same age as yours and often they are single and want to have fun, but if you get into a serious relationship you won't give a F about that.

 

Just graduated university this year a virgin, covid stole 2 years of my best life. I want to kms.

 

No worries. Get a job, move away from your parents home and start dating. Having an income, feeling independent and having a place where you can bring any girl for a night is a great confidence boost when approaching girls.

Also, you are not still behind. You are not 30, you are a recent graduate so a difference of 2 - 3 years between you and her is perfectly acceptable and even preferable for a lot of women. So you can still hit on uni girls.

 

You can still have a love life as a young professional adult in your 20s. Many cities such as NYC, Los Angeles, etc. are surrounded by young professionals. Everything you can do in college you can do in your adult life but you do not need to shell out $150,000 to have that experience. As in being intellectually challenged, you are going to realize most of your professors taught you bullshit that you can not apply in real life. All jobs (including doctors and lawyers) have a bullshit component to it. Once you accept that, life will be more enjoyable. 

 

I miss the clear expectations of school. Your performance was based on test scores which are very black and white. Now performance is based on how your boss feels you're doing and how the client perceives your value - very little is based on black and white numbers so measuring yourself has become more ambiguous.

 

I had a very unconventional path around going into college and seeing these threads makes me kinda feel bad for y’all and myself. On one hand I’d totally feel the same if I went to uni and experienced all of that and lost it, but on the other I’m looking forward to my mid to late 20s when the money rolls in and I can enjoy it. For the most part living at home, commuting, and working while juggling my courses taught me how to cope with being lonely by picking up tons of hobbies and pushing myself to go out alone and clique with others on a whim which I’m proud of. Pros and cons ig. Thank God for tinder and bumble though haha, was impossible to meet girls the first couple years.

 

Main things I miss about college is having friends around 24/7 and having limited responsiblities 

Literally always found people to hang out with & clubs to do in college to find new people, much harder post-college. You really have to seek it out which becomes a pain, people are always moving so friendships you made constantly have to be recycled, etc. I'm sure once I get into my late 30s / early 40s things will become more settled but in mid-20s you just invest a lot in friendships that might not stick around for lack of geo proximity

On limited responsibilities, it's nice to be able to just skip classes if you're not feeling it. Do that in the real world and you get shown the door real quick. That said, I find the work I do now is FAR more interesting than the random stuff we learned in college. I'm actually doing what I love (research / stock picking) vs. doing a bunch of other stuff I couldn't care less about (philosophy / marketing / etc). Also making good money & the things I could buy have massively increased

All said, if I could go back and relive college right now I would just to enjoy those 4 relatively carefree years again but would certainly want to end up at the same shop I am now doing the same thing. Think you'll always have regrets / longings for other things, but for the most part I think things ended up fairly well for me. The other things that I feel aren't where they should be in my life, I'm planning on working on over the next year as it's mostly within my control

 

Yes for sure, for all the reasons others have mentioned (flexibility on schedule, more free time, proximity to friends + more similar life situations, etc.). If I was able to go back in time I would have prioritized the social aspect more and also taken more non-business classes, but easy to say in hindsight.

OP - how have you felt about the switch from MF PE to growth? I am considering a similar move, but not sure if it’s a “grass is greener” scenario or if it would actually be a good call. I don’t work in a tech focused role now so I might need to do an MBA for the pivot

 

Stop making current students feel like shit for not having the best time of their life due to covid.

 

150% better than buyouts in terms of lifestyle. But just know the difference between shops that do sourcing at associate level and which don't. I'm at one which does and its very different from normal PE for sure. In a way it's a breath of fresh air, I'm paid to meet interesting founders. But on the other hand its a different, arguably less analytical/intellectual, since you need to build relationships, and on top of that, if you have a promising lead, there is more of a tendency to get emotionally attached to doing a deal rather than being a coldly objective investor. 

 

Nice! That makes sense, candidly want to get away from all the analyses (not sure the vast majority of the made up analyses we run are actually worth the time / effort and definitely aren’t intellectually engaging in my view, but that’s a different conversation) and find something with better lifestyle in the long run. If you feel comfortable sharing, how much of a hit did you take on comp relative to if you had stayed in PE?

 

I don't miss being a student as a recent graduate simply because of my background.

I was a low-income student in college, so it blew not being able to have fun like your rich friends did. Went to a rich private school so that made me feel worse then. Now, things are better because I'll have money to do what I want, and I don't feel as bad/ashamed of myself anymore. I had more freedom in college but no money to enjoy, but it's the reverse now. I'll take the latter any day.  

 

I don't know, I can't relate that much to everyone but I think it's because I work a job with actually pretty good work-life balance. I still go out on the weekends, except unlike in college when it was the same folks that you'd run into all the time, I'm always meeting interesting people. Dating in the city is infinitely better than in my tiny college town. I was lonely a lot when I was in college for some reason, I sort of got sidelined at some point and had trouble forming a new friend group. 

 

Candidly, I hated being a student. And I'd hated being a student my entire life. I'm much more "real world", for lack of a better term, oriented and have enjoyed not only the learning but the holistic approach it takes to succeed in the professional world. What I mean by that is that I've never really been "book smart" and I'm happy to admit that. But I am smart and feel almost built for work as I can apply concepts etc really well but more importantly can play the politics / people better than most people and realized that off the bat when I started my first internship. I was always super driven and stupidly competitive but for some reason, academics never really made me feel that way which I find puzzling even to this day. That being said, I think I felt that work allowed me to be properly competitive using skills which extended beyond homework and test-taking. 

On the social front, yeah college was great given the amount of time you have to get after it and have an amazing time whenever you please. But as someone who didn't have any spending money in college and was honestly helped out a lot in the going out dept for a year by my loaded fraternity big bro, I despised to my core not having the financial freedom to do what I please. I had my college paid for by my parents, just putting it out there so that no one makes assumptions and yes I realized just how privileged that made me but genuinely I always detested taking money from my parents for anything else (and I'll also admit I didn't understand the magnitude of how helpful they were paying for my college until I met classmates who had to get loans etc). I got jobs such as waitering and tutoring across various subjects so I wouldn't have to take the 50/mo allowance my parents were willing to give me. This is just a long way of saying I'm eternally grateful I can support a pretty great lifestyle on my own efforts and that in college I always felt I needed to get out of having to have someone pay for me 

 

At the risk of continuing to repeat myself, and others, over the past few weeks on here - there is no gun to anyone's head forcing them to do whatever it is they do. Period. You can choose to change careers. You can choose to hang out, or interact, with other people from different areas of life. You choose to spend whatever free time you have not learning. Worse - we mostly accept all of this as a consequence of growing up, that our choices diminish over time or something. 

I have infinitely more freedom now that I'm an adult. I have my own money, to do whatever I want with. I have my own time, with no expectations on how it is used - except for what I want to do (and, yes, your career is your choice). I'm not confined to a campus, dorm or house in whatever college I chose - I can go wherever and whatever I want. I can talk to, interact and learn from people from all walks of life who do a million different crazy things with a million unique perspectives - not just a bunch of 19 year old kids who think they know how the world works because they 'read' it (not to get all good will hunting on everyone here). I loved college and had a great time there - but life is far better now for me. 

Last thing - then I need to get back to work - almost everyone on this forum has options - lots and lots of options. You are either smarter, richer or more motivated than 90% of people out there. If you are unhappy - change it. If you are happy being unhappy - see a therapist. 

 
Addinator

At the risk of continuing to repeat myself, and others, over the past few weeks on here - there is no gun to anyone's head forcing them to do whatever it is they do. Period. You can choose to change careers. You can choose to hang out, or interact, with other people from different areas of life. You choose to spend whatever free time you have not learning. Worse - we mostly accept all of this as a consequence of growing up, that our choices diminish over time or something. 

I have infinitely more freedom now that I'm an adult. I have my own money, to do whatever I want with. I have my own time, with no expectations on how it is used - except for what I want to do (and, yes, your career is your choice). I'm not confined to a campus, dorm or house in whatever college I chose - I can go wherever and whatever I want. I can talk to, interact and learn from people from all walks of life who do a million different crazy things with a million unique perspectives - not just a bunch of 19 year old kids who think they know how the world works because they 'read' it (not to get all good will hunting on everyone here). I loved college and had a great time there - but life is far better now for me. 

Last thing - then I need to get back to work - almost everyone on this forum has options - lots and lots of options. You are either smarter, richer or more motivated than 90% of people out there. If you are unhappy - change it. If you are happy being unhappy - see a therapist. 

Most 19 year olds in college have no idea what they're doing or what to major in and sometimes they drop out. Everyone is an individual. Life goals can change at a drop of a hat. Yes. You can choose to change careers but sometimes you have no other choice but change and you have to do something else. You have to try something new. Life is change. Go with the flow.

 

I had an excellent time as a student. I went to school by the beach, was involved in the largest fraternity on campus, lived at the party house, met my soulmate and most of my best friends to this day. I would get wasted 3-4x a week and still crush my grades and jobs, life was good.

that said, I don't miss it. why?

  1. I made very little money and had no financial independence (I partially had to put myself through school) and worries about day to day money were something I'd just become accustomed to but when that goes away, you feel physically lighter
  2. I lived in shitty setups where I couldn't change much of my surroundings and always had a glaze of filth everywhere. no walking around barefoot unless you wanted to feel the stickiness of the vodka cranberry shelly spilled on sunday and got half ass cleaned up. beyond that, I couldn't afford good food and realy didn't know what I was missing out on. so bad housing, bad food, bad weed, bad alcohol, yeah I'm glad I'm past that
  3. while I had a lot of free time, I didn't have a lot of freedom. class obligations, fraternity obligations, I had little control over my day to day schedule. if my boss scheduled me to work a weekend, I worked that weekend, and since I was paid hourly, I had little choice
  4. lack of perspective. I, like a lot of 20 somethings, was a piece of shit, thinking I had it all figured out, and I needed to get humbled. I'm much happier than I am today and with much less ego
  5. physical shape. contrary to popular belief, you don't have to peak in your college days (maybe you will if you're a D1 athlete, but I wasn't). I just didn't take exercise all that seriously, I lifted maybe twice a week, surfed, and walked around campus and never really gained weight. seeing what intense discipline can do in your 30s has been great and I can confidently say that I'm in the best shape of my life in all markers except max lifts (my powerlifting days are behind me)

so yes, I have fond memories of college, but I don't miss it. if your eyes are in the rearview mirror that means you're not looking forward to the future, and I am. 20 was cool, 30 was cooler, and now I can't wait to see what cool shit I can do at 40, 50, 60, and so on

 

Nope -- this is coming from someone who had a relatively great last couple years despite covid as well. Having the income to live in the city of my dreams, enjoy my weekends, move to a new area, is amazing. 

Honestly, this isn't a jab to anyone in particular, but I believe people who "suffer" after college just had so much dished out to them their whole life that starting their job was a huge downgrade in their quality of life. Like I said, I had a great time in college towards the end, but I was also working a shitty job, paying off my bills, and had zero help financially, so starting a job that pays well and was able to move up in the class bracket relative to my family was a blessing.

I think if you're someone who comes from a privileged background and truly have zero responsibilities in college except recruiting and good grades then obviously your quality of life takes a huge hit when you start working. Plenty of my peers were traveling every break during the school season and did whatever on the weekdays/weekends.

That being said, I definitely miss just having the day to myself sometimes, but that's just life and we learn to move on and deal with it; I'm pretty damn thankful for the opportunities in general. 

 

Yes, of course. What I miss most of all is the fun I had in those years. Constant parties, new acquaintances, and lots of interesting and beautiful girls. That's how not to miss it!) Now, it's very difficult to meet someone especially when communicating live. Now that the world fully spends its time in social networks I get acquainted only on the Internet. I wish that in my student days, there was such popularity of social networks and internet dating. Otherwise, our college life would have been even brighter and more interesting.

 
mech60

My life was better in my college days. So many parties, so many friends, girlfriends, and just fun all day long. Learning came easy to me and I scored really good grades with the minimum amount of work. I didn't have that much money, but I also didn't need that much.

  Which subjects did you enjoy studying and what's your major in?

 

Associate 3 in PE - Growth

Been contemplating my life after 4 years of working (1 year M&A, 2 years MF buyouts, 1 year UMM GE). I feel my life satisfaction has gotten progressively worse since I started getting onto the careerist treadmill. I don't really learn anything interesting new anymore. 

It feels honestly a STEM/philosophy freshman in college is exercising his brain harder than an associate at Blackstone. As a mid-level guy now, it's gotten even worse. My daily challenges are how to manage stakeholders, persuade people to do what is in your best interest (and not necessarily theirs), convince your boss you're worthwhile, get founders to like you, how to dodge work while maintaining appearances, etc. 

I still remember when GS/MS/JP and MBB came to my school and basically said (sometimes explicitly): If you want to be doing the smartest work with the smartest people, come join XYZ. What a load of baloney lol. 

Plus when I was a student I could spend time with an eclectic, diverse group of brilliant and often good-looking young people. Now I am mostly stuck with a pretty homogenous group of status-obsessed finance/consulting/tech people. I had full autonomy over my schedule - if I didn't want to show up for class, it was ok - there were a million ways to make up for it without anyone thinking twice. I had twice the amount of free time I had. And even during the amount of time I was studying, it was actually very intellectually stimulating and interesting. 

Life satisfaction is materially higher in every single respect, hook up with more college aged chicks, go out more, more $, exercise my brain harder etc

 

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SafariJoe, wins again!
 

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