Are treated differently and do you get any weird looks? And what are the ethnicities of you and your partner
What obstacles do you face/have you faced that you weren't expecting?
what have been some eye-opening experiences you learned because of the relationship? what are your experiences like
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A friend of mine (white guy) is dating a black girl, he told me that both families are ok with it after they got to know the other person. They had reservations initially, but once they realized how similar these two are, nobody was worried. Both are from standard middle-class families and are degree qualified. Both are employed, have similar interests and live normal lives.
We as friends obviously have no problems with it either.
I think most inter-anything might bring issues if there are big differences in culture, upbringing, social class, financial situation, religion, family values, or personal opinion (e.g. vegan vs. a hunter or a person who was raised in a different culture and then moves to the West).
See this is the part that shocks me - both families had "reservations" about them dating another middle-class, degree qualified person from the same country because of their race??? As you said, if there are significant social class / financial / actual cultural differences then of course there is potential for tension further down the line and their families may be right to have reservations, but it doesn't sound like that was the real issue here.
When I brought home my girlfriend, my parents also had reservations. And that wasn't about race.
Think about it this way: parents always have reservations until they really meet their child's SO.
I am not saying we live in a world without problems, but most people I know would not have a problem dating people from another background. But like I said above, it is more likely to meet someone of the same race because of other factors (neighborhood, church, job, education, etc).
This reply just shows how inherently racist some of you are. This whole post really. Clowns.
That girl is getting married to my friend and she is almost best friends with his mom. I don't think that is racist. The initial concerns they had were about someone they didn't know, and not regarding race or anything.
It is natural for parents to have concerns for any partner their child brings home, that doesn't mean they are against other people. Half my family is dating people from a huge range of backgrounds and nobody has a problem with that.
"It only takes a little bit of white brainwash to activate the coon chip in the average negro"
Dr. Umar Johnson?
His whole country representation argument is a little myopic. Many footballers that play for Algeria, Morocco and so on grew up in France, played for the French soccer system and got French citizenship. Some choose to play for France whilst others for their home country. So do those who play for France do so because they are grateful? Do those who don't invoke French colonialism of Africa as a reason not to? I think that argument get's absurd. I think Osaka chose Japan simply because she'll get more money and sponsorship from the Japanese Olympic Federation for doing well than the Haitian one. Country selection by athletes is very loose. So by his logic, should German-born Jews who are German nationals not represent Germany at any level because of the Holocaust? Seems far fetched as a logical argument.
And whilst marriage is a social contract so some extent, pre-nups prevent many of the related economic issues. So according to him a black woman marries a white man for his wealth? But what if she still marries him and accepts a pre-nup knowing that she'll get only what she brought into the marriage? Then that's not the destruction of the black family? I think this guy is a classic loud voice with strong opinions that people hear, but don't really listen to. I would hope so, because many of his views are very one-sided and skewed.
Black Alex Jones
as the product of an interracial marriage as well as currently 50% of one, couple issues with this
1. my black mother was higher status than my father and my white wife was higher status than I, therefore refuting his argument about females marrying down. he's throwing out an anecdote without supporting evidence. if he said "the majority of interracial marraiges are..." and provided data, he'd have a point, but he didn't he used a platitude saying you NEVER see what I've seen in my own family. no amount of supporting evidence can prove a point, but one exception can disprove it. strike 1.
2. get a fucking DNA test and spare me the argument of black purity/dominant genes. no children of slavery are 100% black and this is evident in skin tone, so it calls into question the entire premise. what defines someone as "black" in the first place? is steph curry black? how about jesse jackson? how about tracy ellis ross? or is eliud kipchoge and those who share his melanin the only true black people? so I take issue with the entire premise of black purity, that ship has long sailed bro. if we want racial equity, why is he calling black the "primary race?" I take great issue with the idea of being "psychologically black" or "identifying as black." I identify as both, most people have multiple ethnicities in their blood, so this either this or that is not a solid argument because it falls apart under logical scrutiny. I also think it's counterproductive to introduce arguments of supremacy of your race as a solution to white supremacy suppressing black people, a bit hypocritical, no? strike 2.
3. if black genes really are dominant, he should want black people to mix with everybody out there, so then we'd all be black. yet somehow interracial marriage and mixed race babies aren't helpful for the black community? see how weak that argument is? strike 3. you're out Dr. Umar.
people like Dr. Umar make me shake my head. he does NOT speak for all black people. he should be allowed to speak, so long as I am allowed to call him out and disagree.
I wish I could upvote your comment twice. I'm in an inter-racial marriage and it pains me to listen to that clown. I can't believe that comment has six upvotes. Did anyone even listen to him? All of his reasoning was nonsense. The man is so blinded by race that he can't get his own head out of his ass.
Very interesting take. But the thing is, we see many prominent black men marry black women (Barack Obama and Robert F. Smith, for example) and many white men, like Bill Burr, "marry down" to less wealthy black women. I think you'd have to look at the data of the highest earning black and white men and see what percentage of them are with black women. If it's a low percentage, this guy might have a point.
don't. you're trying to insert logic as a rebuttal to an argument which is illogical. save yourself the grief I just gave myself
This guy sounds pretty racist to me.
I don't agree with his stance at all. But it's fascinating to listen to and I honestly have nothing but respect for his position of wanting the black family to better and strengthen itself. He's got a clear vision and while I don't like the "every race needs to stay with their race" thing, I think he's coming from a well-meaning place.
I know you're a smart guy, just consider the premise of what he means by the black family, it's a completely illogical definition of how he defines blackness and he contradicts himself a couple of times as I've stated above.
also, intent doesn't excuse ignorance. plenty of despots had good intent for their people and yet still had toxic ideologies
Dr.Umar is a legend man…
This Classic always gets me lolThis is 🔥
I'm mixed (black & white), wife is white (non anglo/saxon). fortunately we're not the first interracial couple in my family (my mom and her siblings all married white people), so it's really a non-issue. my wife's family has also not been in the US for more than 2 generations so there's a different mentality than if she came from a family that used to own slaves in America, as an example
it's really not an issue. my in laws could not care less about the color of my skin, just about how I treat their daughter. as I've mentioned before, my black family is a bit of an enigma. they're conservative socially, liberal fiscally, but believe in people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps instead of playing the victim. they're also highly educated (the poor generation ended with my grandparents), so if your experience was different growing up, you may have experienced different things.
I guess the eye opening thing for me is how nonexistent of an issue this was from parents, friends, and so on. I did catch some shit from black girls though. I hung around the beach in high school and college (I surf, so duh), and for better or worse, not a ton of blacks surf or hang around the beach like I did, so my friend group matched my hobbies and I tended to pretty much just date white girls. occasionally at a club or social event some black girl would tell me I should get a good black girl to date instead of whoever I was with, and I never engaged in conversation with them because it was just so rude that I didn't feel it would be productive, but those are the only experiences that stick out to me.
Thoughts?
And that was 50 years ago...
1. the bird color argument is wrong, that's different species, we're all the same species. also, even if people of certain colors do want to stay together, that doesn't make it ethical, correct, or logical, it's likely leftover biological programming from when people of a different skin tone were 99% of the time bad news (read: invaders). so regardless of whether or not he misspoke, this is off base
2. on appearances alone, Ali does not have 100% African blood so his mixed race comments are very self-unaware
3. his argument on killing race is also completely unaware. he's conflating race with species. there is no racial purity outside of a handful of indigenous tribes, so wrong again
in closing, his argument of wanting to be with your own kind...maybe, but his prior comments on grandparents not wanting to "explain" why their grandchildren look a certain way just has me more upset than wanting to analyze his profound lack of logic any further. this kind of shit is EXACTLY counter to the principles Dr. King wanted us to abide by - judge me not by the color of my skin, but by the content of my character, and until idiotic arguments about racial purity are ended, nothing will change.
that said, I truly don't think race is a big deal, I just cannot help myself calling out bullshit on the subject when I see it.
finally, as if you needed another example (LeBron, Colin Kaepernick, Jussie Smollet, etc), just because someone's famous does not mean they automatically have good opinions. that said, may Mr. Ali rest in peace, he was a gift to combat sports
.
had me in the first half ngl
10/10
You mean her age
You fucking had me hahaha
5’6 Asian dude here. She’s white, 5’8, a southern belle. Been best friends since middle school, were HS sweethearts, and now we’ve been married for 2 years.
Definitely don’t see the AMWF pairing too often, the media isn’t exactly kind to Asian men. The disrespect I’ve gotten at times while being right next to her is an unexpected (actually if I’m being honest I probably could’ve seen that coming 100%, this is America after all) aspect of the relationship.
Your daughters are gonna be so hawt.
chill epstein
Ayo chill lmao, you're talking to *hopefully* their future dad. Kinda weird to be talking about this and see strangers fetishizing (?) them.
But in general, I agree. Wasians are like redheads imo -- either unbelievably hot or a 2/10, no in-between. Excited about the future interracial global population... seems like the mix in genes produces some really hot people.
I'm white and my wife is 50% Asian, only thing that's ever really happened is people trying to ask her where she's from in awkward ways. The more odd thing is one of our kids looks 50% Asian and the other looks 100% white, so when she or I take the kids out alone people either think one is adopted or that we're a nanny, etc.
In my senior year of HS, I dated a White European, I am brown and an international student. It was pretty weird whenever we would be out or even just go for. a walk and people would be staring at us as they have never seen a couple go on a walk. It was also considered a bragging thing, which never made sense to me. But the regular argument was now I have a ticket to Luxembourg and I should marry her. But I don't think either of us thought that, we were kids and wanted to have fun not get married. I also don't think either of us thought we were serious or would last after HS and we didn't, we probably knew even then it wouldn't work.
Now I am in a relationship with an American and I think one of the things that also stands out to me, is how different we are culturally. I can just walk up to any other international and make jokes or relate in a way I cannot with my White gf, which is sad. I enjoy her company but don't fear the banter or ease.
I'm a white man married to a black woman. The only real "issues" we've had is when I would take her on dates and occasionally a waiter would assume we weren't in a relationship by asking if we wanted separate checks. That's really not a big deal because they may have asked for a a couple different reasons (especially nowadays with feminism)
There have been zero obstacles. We hold the same religion, family values, culture, and social class (she was raised upper middle class, and I was raised lower middle class). We've had a couple people treat our relationship like some sort of spectacle of social justice but neither of us viewed our relationship as some sort of statement, we just really love each other.
I’m black. I’ve dated black women, white women, Hispanic, and Asian. Grew up in the South but spent my post-college years in the NE.
Generally haven’t had any major issues except in H.S. dating a white girl whose dad clearly had a problem with my skin color. A lot of off-color/offensive comments like being invited to dinner at their home and her mother made baked chicken, the dad asked if I only ate fried chicken. When I replied that I rarely eat fried chicken because it’s unhealthy he replied “oh, well that’s surprising.”
My current girlfriend identifies as black but she’s like 60% European, 40% Black so she’s light skinned. Most people think she’s Hispanic. I’ve had issues with black women making comments under their breath or giving her dirty looks because they assume she isn’t black. I’ve even overheard one group of black woman say something along the lines of “Hispanic bitches are taking all of the black men”.
It doesn’t bother us anymore. I pointed out those couple of experiences but 95% of the time I’ve never had any issues.
I'm definitely not black
When I was dating asian girls, I would get weird but nice compliments all the time.
With my fiance/gf, she's white and we don't really get anything. Probably not as entertaining as the previous combo.
compliments from whom?
Random people like waitresses, etc
What race are you?
r u black??
A fiancé is not a gf anymore
I'm an asian dude and I've mostly dated white chicks when I was in college since there weren't many second-gen asian immigrants at my school. I never really noticed any weird external pressures(stares etc.) but it was hard to relate to them simply due to the cultural differences. Most of my friends who are in successful interracial relationships are multi-generational immigrants/more whitewashed.
white-asian relationships are pretty common dude
Never implied they weren’t, just shared my personal experience
im white and as bad as it sounds ive always had trouble viewing asian as a 100% separate race
to me its always been similar to hair color. same goes for hispanics, just seems like a alternative form of white (or whites are an alternative version of asian/hispanic)
based off of likely harmful stereotypes i'd love to date an asian girl though
only Asian girls ?
In an interracial relationship (white/black). Haven’t had anything happen to us other than maybe some extra looks at the mall.
What race are you ?
Asian and been with a few white chicks. Was dating a black chick once but didn't get serious after a while.
All are pretty good except a dad of one ex-gf (Russian heritage) hates me guts, don't know why lol
Maybe he hates Irish accents
Tbh black-white relationships aren’t common
Specially if the girl is black
Ppl can be soo racist
The fact that this is a legitimate discussion topic is worrying. We’re in 2021 folks these are just standard relationships. It’s not Jim Crow era anymore where an “interracial” (hate that term, it sounds so dehumanising) relationship was some exotic or taboo thing.
If anything what would be more interesting is intercultural or interclass relationships. I don’t care about some White-Asian or Black-Asian relationship when they both got funnelled through the same American upper middle class cultural conveyor belt. Apart from who your parents are (if they’re recent immigrants or later gen), there’s very little to be shocked or intrigued about in those pairings. Just take a step into any elite college or high school or in a major city and you’ll see these are a dime a dozen.
I agree, it shouldn't be a discussion, but because people like Dr. Umar exist, it should be called out. I say let him say his bullshit, we'll be here to call him out.
and yes, interclass relationships are much rarer. even though my wife's family was higher status than mine, both were middle class. I've got zero examples in my friend group or family of cross-class marriages. relationships sure, but not marriages yet. seen it in my clientele, but that'd be more like upper middle marrying upper upper, rather than upper class marrying lower class
Mulatto myself (is that word still used?)
Getting into DNA like brofessor mentioned, I am about 60% European, 40% African but look Dominican with European facial features. Raised middle-upper middle class and my girlfriend more or less the same.
She is a white girl (Scandinavian) from the Midwest and we've been dating for close to 5 years. Can say I've never had people openly say something or blatantly stare at us either (we went to college in a progressive state). Now we live in NYC where interracial relationships are common so I haven't ever faced blatant obstacles, but I'm sure more than a few people have made comments to themselves when we walk by or something like it.
The OP is definitely a case by case deal I think. However, I'll never forget when my father (black) told me at like 7-8 years old that people will treat you differently because of the way you look. I've always remembered that conversation and use it as a "fuck it, haters gonna judge anyway so who cares".
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