Girlfriend = Breadwinner? SHIT!!
Monkeys, I need some opinions.
Okay, I've been hooking up with this chic for a few months. She definitely wants to be my "official girlfriend. " And as much as I love being single and running around like an asshole with my guy friends dumping beers on my head, I think I want to date this chic too. However, I'm scared that she will be viewed as the primary breadwinner and I will be the subject of much scrutiny. Objectively, she is much more legitimate than me. In almost all phases of life, she has me pretty much 1 upped. She could potentially make more money than me over the course of the next 5 years.
Is it okay for the woman to be the primary breadwinner??
You're a pussy.
You're welcome.
no.
As long as you're ok with it and you're ok with others thinking you're a pussy, then do it.
There seems to be a consensus that I am a pussy.
Good luck winning an argument. I have only one trump card when it comes to arguing with my wife - I yell, I'M THE ONE MAKING ALL THE FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!
lol. well im sure he was just joking. or possibly referring to the fact that you are afraid of this, when it is in your control to just work harder and succeed. If I were to actually give you an answer with depth...
when it comes down to it... its a risk. money cannot buy happiness, but money can bring power. no matter how many times women read wuthering heights...men and woman still live in a society based on a foundation of men being the core of the relationship. if you are not going to marry the chick, go date her who cares... but you will notice that as the disparity of success widens, there will be more conflict especially if you are bothered by it. she will act differently with her success unintentionally and possibly leverage her position to possibly meet someone on an equal or higher financial level. I don't really want to dive into human bonding or sexuality. (ie. woman sacrifice looks for higher financial stability in marriage) these are all hypotheticals. im not a relationship expert either... see how her character is... date her... learn about her... it doesnt hurt to get close to to the girl.
If you can cope with the shame, it would be great to have a BSD gf.
Dude, the plain fact that you are coming on here asking us if you are a pussy or not makes you a pussy.
Let me analyze this situation for you. You treat the chick like crap and she wants you AND she makes more money and is willing to buy you stuff. Do I have this right? Considering that you must be half woman to even care what anyones opinion is then I must deduce that you have hit the jackpot.
Go date a girl that doesn't have a job and sucks you dry and then come back here and tell us if dating a girl with cash makes you a pussy.
False you biotch.
From one bro to another, get out now. Bro's cannot be wrapped up by this type of scenario. She'll pussy whip you faster than you can blink & all of a sudden you're her lap dog. Fuck that shit to the max. This chick WILL start to impose her will on you sooner or later, it's just matter of fact. It'll be sweet for a while having her pay for your drinks and video games, but eventually she'll get sick of it & then this hellacious nag will emerge and nit pick you to death. Dump her, keep working hard, & bro out as long as you can. Good luck bro.
Thanks for input bro.
as long as you can give her the beezneez, son she wont be going anywhere for a while, dont care how much money she makes - once you get past minimum looks/cash/pedigree thresholds dont underestimate the power over a woman of good D. it trumps all.
carry on.
try reading this dripping sarcasm...
retrospectively it appears to have been serious, but i'll ignore that fact and enjoy the bash all-the-same.
Respect yourself: don't date her until you have secretaries at her level of success.
my gf made more money then me when we started dating.... in 24 months my pay went up almost 300% .... it didnt mean shit...why you even care is just plain weird...she is now my wife and makes more then most banking analyst but who cares... do we live nice yes... key word is "we"...are you a pussy? no in my eyes your the smartest fucking guy in the world... you have some pussy that can also pick up the bill.... if anything she should be on here posting about dating a having to foot the bill for her "boy"friend
Haha, first of all, I never asked if dating a girl with more money "made me a pussy?" I just asked for people's opinions on a scenario.
Also, I went to a "target," have a good SA, etc. She just happens to be a rockstar. It's not like I'll be whacking off at home during the day while she works.
Take it easy on a bro...
post her number here-if she really loves you she wont mind
balbasur uses solar beam!
thanks for the great laugh
Well obviously you didn't ask to be called a pussy. They are just saying that the fact that you came on a blog (wall street oasis for gods sake lol) to talk about a relationship is pretty insecure...and the type of relationship you are inquiring about just sort of exacerbates the situation.
when it comes down to it man, its all about respect. if the woman respects you for you, its fine. if you love her for her, its set.
and who cares if you went to a "target". I go to a "target"..."target IVY" for gods sake. and there are tons of people here that would not garner respect from a girl that works as a bus boy in downtown Manhattan.
and can you please elaborate on what you mean by "rockstar".
A few comments:
1) You're confusing my insecurity with my sense of humor.
2) I put "target" in quotation marks because I think its a stupid term. The only reason I mentioned it was b/c people were under the impression that I was a complete bum.
Nothing is false "bro". If your the man in the relationship then nothing else matters. Doesn't matter if she is taller, more cash, smarter, whatever. Act like a man and you will be treated like one.
While I agree with Westfald that she will eventually start exerting her authority, BIG DEAL. I hear women all the time say that just because a man pays for everything doesn't make him the boss. Well good for the goose good for the gander. Just tell her no. Wow, that was easy.
you said you have a good SA...so you're a junior in college??
Associate
What does your girl do?
Associate in IB? where?
If you have beef with me, we should just fight. Meet me. 200 West St. Midnight. Don't bring your monkeys. I won't bring mine.
lol...sure... wanna pay for my bus ticket? I am still a senior in college.
but uhh, pm me in July.
hahaha.
I haven't heard "beef" in a while btw. And, I was not trying to be confrontation... just curious. If anything if you read my posts, I was actually giving you some of my real thoughts and time... talk about appreciation.
I would fly you out so I could beat you up sooner, btw.
You should really be careful on who you try instigate cyber fights with btw... a lot of crazy people out there.
anyway, 9:32 PM and online posting on WSO eh? not must be an important associate...I say go for the busgirl in Chelsea over the "rockstar" possibly much more aligned with your risk preferences...
Whoa whoa whoa. Boy did this thread take a turn for the worse.
I have dated girls who made a little more than me, the same as me, less than me and jack shit. It never really is an issue. Just don't make it an issue. I think there is more to being "alpha" than throwing a fit because someone makes 5 bucks more than you. If you love and care about this girl and she reciprocates than she will not use her temporarily advantageous position to belittle you. Neither should you feel belittled. I mean this situation happens all the time when guys are going to med school. Just roll with it and consider yourself lucky to be taken care of.
Mental note, next time you are looking for a heart to heart, some reassurance, this is not the best place to do it. You are lucky some of the more vicious members are asleep or something. I sense an epic ass ripping coming when they stumble onto this post.
Haha thanks for the advice. This was actually meant to be a humorous/non-serious thread. It sure riled up a lot of monkeys.
Everyone needs to cool it on the brohating, this is absurd. BroDog, two more pieces of advice. 1)Whoever cares less, not money, has the power in a relationship. She could be bumping elbows with Buffet & Obama all day at work while you're at home playing Tiger Woods golf scratching your nuts, & as long as she's more into then you are her you're golden. 2) If you date her, but real real from day 1. I had a Marine buddy in your same spot. He was dating this attorney who was a huge cunt face. She made 10x more than him, but on day one he told her "listen I like you, & don't want to break up anything off. But I'm going to do exactly what I want, & if you don't like it I wont ever stomp you from leaving," bam. She knows there's no point in telling him do anything, & she's still with him. Just don't back down, ever, for anything.
AnthonyD1982 and junkbondswap are the only guys here making sense. They other "bros" just never had a relationship and, dare I say, maybe never got laid.
Whoever said bankers were alpha? Dude, I think it can be quite the opposite.
Tell her that since you "work less" you would be happy to "pick up the slack" by managing her and your combined finances. If she asks any questions, remind her that she is the primary breadwinner and that her time is worth more than yours - this should do the trick.
Put in a solid year of money management / budgeting with no problems (make sure that this one year period includes a tax season so she can really appreciate your "value add") and you should be on your way to gaining her trust - this is exactly where you want to be.
After one year, begin dumping 100% of her income into a high risk investment scheme - one of two scenarios will likely play out at the end of the year. Either a) you will have made ~100% on your investment, at which point you can either pull out and split the country or charge her an exorbitant management fee or b) you will have lost all her money, at which point she will likely find out and confront you. When she asks you how you could have done such a terrible thing to her, simply say "welcome to finance bitch" - this should put her in her place.
In either case, you win.
You are the man. If/when I'm in a soul sucking relationship please consult me in a wise course of action.
This is the reason I will NEVER merge finances, even in the event of marraige, nor trust anyone to manage them. People are spiteful and untrustworthy.
without specifics what do the both of you do for work
its ok you are an appreciating asset, she will be depreciating.
She will make you a kept man in no time. You're not so naive to think this is how she will be once the ring is on her finger, are you? She's just biding her time, baiting you with whatever you'll fall for until you're so helplessly in love you rush out and buy the ring. Et voila! Now she has her 'accessory man' to complain about to her girl friends over martinis while you are cooking dinner and wondering how you let yourself get into such an impossible position. Marriage is already a losing proposition for a man without being pussy-whipped and humiliated as well. Don't forget. Until the rock is on her finger, a woman is constantly in sell mode. What you are seeing now is the advertisement not the product. Caveat emptor.
"Don't forget. Until the rock is on her finger, a woman is constantly in sell mode. What you are seeing now is the advertisement not the product. Caveat emptor."
Hilarious
she makes more than you... you're in an ideal situation buddy, the pressures off of you, and you can have a sugar momma to spoil you, as far as im concerned, you're good to go, you snatched the ideal girl.
Kids not even dating the chick yet and you clowns are talking about marriage and being pussy whipped. As long as you bench press more than her and crush more steak in one sitting than her you should have no problem maintaining your dominance. Time to take your balls of the mantle and keep your pimp hand strong.
Nothing wrong with staying home and coaching your son's little league team. Im sure shell have you doing laundry and picking up her dry-cleaning as well. Have fun at those PTA meetings, bro.
best response yet.
Go for the ROI, avoid a prenup at all costs.
Okay, I am a girl. I REALLY could care less about how much money my boyfriend makes as long as he does not want me to pay his bills (I do not expect him to pay for my things). Sounds like your gf really likes you as a person so cherish the relationship! That been said, I do want my bf to be passionate about something, even career does not make money like writing, but he cannot be a pig. Good luck.
I'm calling bullshit. You disproved yourself before you even finished your statement. If you marry/date a writer, 9 out of 10 of them are going to be broke or close enough to it, to were it makes you uncomfortable. If anyone is passionate about something respectable (if your signif other is really passionate about World of Warcraft, I guarantee you want be stoked on that) if they're not good at it they're delusional or just suck. Either way you're with a loser. Ergo, you only date successful guys who'll bring home the bacon.
Unless you're an ugly ass dog that'll be happy with any guy that will have them, most girls want their "men" to have a list of credentials, or at the very least have plenty of remedial value, to validate their emotional and physical investment. Moreover, IMHO, women at the end of the day just want to be dominated; overtly or ever so slightly nuanced. All the girls I've been with that are very independent & strong, all of them absolutely loved getting dominated in the sack, I can say that honestly. If the success is all on the womens end, whatever novelty that guy has will wear off because their biological needs aren't being met.
Concur.
totally agree. you guys need to get a grip, stop this circle jerk and wake up. this not the 1950s anymore. the modern day women are sophisticated, educated, and do not need some loser men to pay their bills. maybe some of you "alpha" monkeys are too insecure with your penis sizes and to need overcompensate by focusing all your waking hours on boosting your bank account. we could care less.
and sorry to burst your bubble. there are PLENTY of ibd analysts who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it. trust me, which bb you work for and how big your bonus was last year REALLY don't matter that much to us.
Yeesh, tell us how you really feel. Want some gauc with that chip on your shoulder babe?
Penis envy?
babe, it's ok for the dominant lesbian in the relationship to stay at home
Dude, you hit the jackpot. My 4th major in college right now is Sugar Momma. You should seal that deal, quit banking and do something more fulfilling (drink all day, every day).
Hang on-- did she give you permission to start this thread?
This is strictly an issue of pride, and you should look beyond that. Harder said than done though.
Hahah this thread has gotten way out of control. I don't know why everyone keeps telling me that I'll turn into a male domestic engineer if I get with this chic. Although this chica has a bright future, I will also be in banking, have long hours, and make a good salary.
For the time being though, I'll get right to the kitchen and fix her something to eat. I hope she enjoys it tonight. Last week, she yelled at me and wouldn't drop me off at my PTA meeting.
Pics, or she doesn't exist.
In the meantime, here are Col. Jessop's thoughts on the matter:
Forget dating career women man, give me a cute nurse or preschool teacher any day
Shit, this thread is funny.
To OP, it depends on how your girl acts my man. If she throws it down like Fat Joe, walking around making it rain, throwing dollar bills all over the place, then fuck that shit. But if she's humble, sucks a dick like a champ, and makes better breakfast than yo mamma, then she's a keeper.
I started dating my girlfriend a few years ago when she was an assistant sales rep making jack shit, but at the most prestigous firm in her industry. We're talking about the kind of money where in NYC you don't just have roommates, you have ROOMmates, as in sharing a bedroom. Anyway, I was and still do quite well, though you won't see me champagne bottles w/ sparklers coming over to my table any time soon. Over the past few years, her base salary has tripled, and she is absolutely killing it at her new job, and if she stays on pace this year her commissions will beat my total comp by a large margin.
I am happy about it, as is she. I never met her under the pretenses that she would have to make any more than she did- I was making enough for us both. I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she certainly wasn't going for a broke ... and that sweetened the deal for her when we started dating. She has expensive taste, and I advise her on saving adequately for retirement and having a rainy day fund, and as long as she is contributing to those goals, her making serious cash and spending it on what I think are frivolous things doesn't bother me ( I just don't get the draw to handbags and never, ever will). It is also probably temporary, her sales goals for next year are probably going to be 5x what they are now, and she will probably be back to be having a total comp in the low six figures. And if her total comp stays where it is, that's great, we will be able to buy a "no compromises" place in Manhattan, and that would be nice too.
I also grew up around NYC where dual income households are common, and some of my friends had parents that were both doing very well, so I am probably more comfortable with the idea than most. I have seen relationships where there are money problems, and it ain't pretty.
Yes. Who cares what other people think?
Btw if alphas do indeed define success relative to others (the constant need to be better than others), they are by nature insecure.
if your g/friend or S.O is making more than you, you are a beta male. No shame in that, just know your place and all will be good. And don't blame the alpha males or get all snotty with them, not their fault. I'm the alpha in my relationship but I am constantly meeting her friends' betas who always have a problem with me for no reason at all, oh well. Other interesting note: if you are at a wedding or other large social event, notice the betas always find each other to hang out with. This will be your future too if you go down this path. Again, no shame, just know what you are signing up for.
Wow, you are so profound. Does your girlfriend or S.O. pat you on the head and tell you how cool and strong you are? He/She should because you definitely deserve it. Question: At weddings or other large social gatherings, do you find the other douche bags to hang out with so you guys can stroke each other’s egos and establish dominance at these events?
Why are you even asking this question, she wants you!? Shes a rockstar at work(so she must be smart or have a great personality), getting money, and if shes hot you hit the grandslam. Caught a damn Unicorn.
Ya bros will talk shyt at first but just smile when all your bros are complaining about how their girlfriends are soaking up their funds and your girlfriend just bought you a new watch, tickets to the knicks game(they willl rock in 2011 season), and a vacation to the islands.
Just put it on her in the bed and she wont complain. And in the long run work ya ass off get that pay up. Because there will be times where she will royally shit on you if your in a prolnged relationship
chuuuch...
pat me on the head? no, real men don't need props from anyone else. And douche bags are just beta men trying to compensate.
Grow a fucking pair you pussy.
Actually dont, there will be more women for me.
to the OP you are a lil ninny twinkle
This is totally situation dependant, if she lords over you with it, ditch her. If not, why screw with a good thing. The truth here is that real money, the sort you pass on to your children, takes decades to amass. Any fool who tells you they make it all is 5 years is likely going to blow it half as fast. To be honest, I have not made my money yet, I got it the old fashioned way, I inherited it. But I am planning on working my ass off to add to the pile.
Look at it this way. Do you think you will have greater success achieving the financial goals you have set with one pay check or two? I would take two if it were an option. It would mean that I could make my generations addition faster and then retire to be a dirty old man faster. The unfortunate reality is that inheriting money is not really enough anymore, generations erode capital as does gradual inflation, these days you have to keep at it to maintain the ground you inherited. If the girl is good people, date and then possibly marry her, it will be a good strategic move. If the girl is bad people, do not even bother to chat her up.
^ Woah, bud. Got somethin' to tell us? Everyone back away. Slowly.
Imagine being married to someone like Blythe Masters, that would be baller.
had drinks with her and no I would not want to be married to her.
she left her husband few years back..
as a girl, i think i dont mind making more money than my bf. its just much harder to find a guy than a job.
Step away from the Haagen Dazs, honey...
Edmundo -
I was gonna make a crude joke about that chic's comment too. I'm glad you did, it had to be done. Nice work.
This thread delivers...
Bullshit! I cannot even consider dating someone making more money than I do as I would instinctively feel castrated and emasculated. Even back in the times of hunter-gatherer societies men were the breadwinners and the food they provided to their woman was the equivalent of money nowadays.
Women are sociologically (whether admitted or not) conditioned to seek a man of equal or greater social status than them. It is fact. Even dominatrix love being dominated by superior alpha males, because they make them feel like ordinary women in the end.
Now I'm not saying that you will not be happy in the long run with her, but the odds are stacked up against you mate. So my best piece of advice is to date her while thinking very hard on how to achieve equal or better social status than her, and to obviously take action.
Man this thread was funny haha!
the more your female makes, the less your ass has to spend on hers.
and that figure grows with time! HA HA HA HA
I really should frequent this place more often. This thread just made my day.
This is why chicks with great jobs in Banking/Finance dont get to settle down as much as chicks in HR/ Secretaries. The guys feel threatened. Its so sad. Not all guys though. My boyfriend is a front office analyst at a huge bank. I work in a huge bank too. Risk Management- middle office, but he's always encouraging me to 'do what I gada do' to get to the front office. He wouldnt be jealous or feel inferior- we both engourage each other to get as far as we can because the better we do, the more money we have between us! :) AND WE BOTH LOVE MONEY HEHE!! If you really care bout her you would hve these feelings of 'a pussy'' or inadequacy. encourage her... it will pay of :)
Finding a guy isn't hard. Finding the right guy to get a decent ROI for your time, energy and effort is the issue. It's the difference is it's sometimes less stressful working back and billing dinner to the firm then dealing with the drama of particular relationships.
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