How do you guys deal with envy?

Name Of Profit's picture
Rank: Gorilla | banana points 729

So, I was browsing my flipboard and stumbled upon an article by business insider:

http://uk.businessinsider.com/shark-tank-investor-...
I have to say these kids really make me feel bad about the amount of time I don't spend studying or doing something productive and just how bright their future seems to be.
But this isn't the first time I feel this way and sometimes ask myself on whether I am really cut out to become wealthy.

Anyways, when it comes to dealing with envy I simply ignore it until I forget what I was envious about, what about you guys?

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Comments (179)

Dec 4, 2016

There is so much luck involved in making a lot of money.

At work we're only a few phone calls from making an extra million or two dollars a year. Can it happen? It actually is quite easy & could theoretically happen any day.

Will it happen? Almost definitely not. It happened once and those contracts lead us (the owner) to making millions and millions of dollars over the years.

This kid was quite lucky to get a response from this dude. Honestly, the most probable thing would have been radio silence.

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Best Response
Dec 4, 2016

Don't be envious.

The fact that these guys are working 130 hours a week is a fucking lie. I've seen that particular number bandied around a lot, and no one is able to sustainably concentrate and do quality work 130 hours a week. It's a gross exaggeration. Everyone wants to show about how much their working and are willing to lie to do so.

Regarding what they're doing, I wouldn't be too jealous of somebody creating an email finding app/plugin (this is being done by 10+ companies). Getting an internship with a VC firm is cool, but not earth-shattering. Any outsize success these kids might achieve will come from building a great business, not an internship. Building a successful company is very difficult and will take a lot more than a VC internship, coding skills, and some free PR. Frankly, as someone in VC, I'm going to be unimpressed about an entrepreneurial venture until the founders drop all commitments (including their job and school) to focus on their startup and get sales outside of easy PR and their network.

I don't want to completely shit on these kids, as what they're doing is certainly better than playing video games or spending 5 hours a day on social media. My main criticism is directed at the media, which needs to stop exaggerating and outright lying about important aspects of these kids lives. Many people read stories about what their peers are doing and assume everyone is light years ahead of them. The reality is that the media will only report on these people when they're promising or achieve some minor success and then forget about them when they go on to have fairly unremarkable lives. The number of under-22-year-olds who start doing something "cool" at a young age in the realm of business and go on to become legends can probably be counted on your hands (think Zuckerberg, Gates, Spiegel, etc.) Look at former Thiel Fellows, Forbes 30 Under 30, etc. and you'll get my point.

Put 100% effort into what you're passionate about and you'll find that you have the opportunity to leapfrog your peers and the prodigies the media talks about.

    • 15
Dec 9, 2016

+1 SB. I couldn't have said it better myself. I have read numerous similar articles in the past, even at my company, that promotes such things similar to it (and it's all rubbish). Many of the things people actually do (build a successful company, hire new people, etc.) are never reported by the media.

I don't get why people care about this crap so much.

Dec 13, 2016

What @Gangster Putin x 1000. Anyone claiming they are working 130 hours per week is either full of it or a total moron. There is no way these kids are working 18.5 hours and getting 5.5 hours of sleep per day, seven days a week. I mean seriously... when do they jerk off? You know they aren't getting laid, and you know they definitely are making time for video games. If they are only getting 5.5 hours of sleep every day, I want to know who their coke dealer is, because that's some good shit.

    • 1
Dec 5, 2016

Focus on your own game. What I mean by that is: set out different goals or milestones that you want to hit in 3 months time and start moving the ball down field. Steadily improve and grow and you'll be set.

    • 2
Dec 9, 2016

i don't envy other people because i focus on myself and what i can achieve with what i have.
being envious is just a negative emotion that'll pull you down without you noticing it.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing.

See my Blog & AMA

    • 1
Dec 9, 2016

130 hours per week? that's 5.5 hours of free/sleep time per day --- I smell bullshit

Dec 9, 2016

Very few people who's goal is to make money are actually happy. People who seek their purpose relentlessly are usually compensated for their efforts & expertise.

I don't think Elon Musk shows up to work everyday for the paycheck.

    • 2
Dec 9, 2016

Cut out to be welathy? Maybe you're focusing on the wrong things. If you really want, you can do almost anything you put your mind too, so grab your ski-mask and go to town. Plenty people have gotten wealthy that way.

How is my grammar? Drop me a note with any errors you see!

Dec 12, 2016

Nothing much than creating a positive attitude and broad-minded thinking. Only these can help to get rid of envying.

Dec 12, 2016

It's called Survivor Bias. You see on TV the .01% of 22 year olds that followed a business idea and were able to make it work. Note that every path as a 'success point', the percentile you'll need to be to actually make good money via that path. There's nothing wrong doing finance (low success point) over running a business (very high success point). Hell at the .01% level, there's not even much difference in compensation. The .01% of finance guys are at Jane Street or DE Shaw pulling in 7-8 figs a year by age 27. Not bad for someone in a 'career'.

    • 1
Dec 12, 2016
  1. The kid is full of shit. First of all, he includes time at highschool in those 130 hours. Lunch and gym class and talking to girls between classes is not work. Second, does he spend every other waking hour on his company? No friends? No girls? No physical activity? No his mom making him do chores around the house?
  2. Even if he does, why in the world would you envy him? Because he'll be rich someday? Who gives a shit. You could be rich someday too without ruining your childhood. You might even fuck girls, make friends, play sports, and have a social life along the way.
    • 6
Dec 12, 2016

When I was in high school, the majority of my friends were both smarter than I was and came from wealthier backgrounds than I did. While they were getting "A"s in AP chemistry and getting BMW M3s for their 16th Birthday, I struggling through regular chemistry and driving a ten-year-old Honda. It can definitely be tough at times, but you have to understand that everyone is walking in different shoes and that there will always be someone smarter, richer, better, etc. than you. My advice, and what I personally do, is to just focus on myself. If I am doing the best that I can at something, that is all that I can ask for. Someone will always be better.

    • 5
Dec 12, 2016

It's just game theory. Envy won't help you, so why bother?

Dec 12, 2016

Agree with a lot of the aforementioned posts. Envy is a negative trait that only distracts you from your goals. Use that energy to focus on your passion/productivity. You shouldn't care about people that have no bearing/impact on your life. Furthermore, there are tons of (wildly) successful people that were late bloomers and achieved millionaire/billionaire status later on in their life. You too have an opportunity to do that.

Dec 12, 2016

Just keep grinding man! Good things will come!

    • 1
Dec 12, 2016

When I feel jealous/envious, i just simply do something that can make myself better. Even maybe 50 squats.

I mean, if I do 50 squats every time I feel jealous of someone, I will at least have a nice butt at the end of the day. Right? (and maybe someone else will be jealous of my butt)

    • 2
Dec 12, 2016

I don't believe in that 130 hours a week number, unless you are Elon Musk.

Dec 12, 2016

Just remember everyone has flaws, too. You could wish you were them, but you'd reconsider if you learned they had gonorrhea as well.

Dec 12, 2016

The key to happiness is to avoid looking at or worrying about how other people are doing. And the secret to not worrying about how other people are doing is to notice it when you are.

This industry is filled with a lot of people who are obsessed with money. And I will cop to that. I like saving money; I like investing money. I suffer from long-term greed. But the saving grace for me is that I'm not obsessed with conspicuous consumption. If I have a better life than you, I don't have to have a better car than you.

Again, the key is to notice envy and address it. Notice it when you're spending money to impress other people. Notice it when you feel bad that someone has a better car than you. And then address it:

"I don't need a nice car to be happy. I'm glad I have a car."
"It is foolish to spend money I shouldn't spend to buy things I don't need to impress people I don't even care about."
"Wealth doesn't define my quality or dignity as an individual" (though I'd argue that there is genuine virtue in earning money honestly and spending less than you earn-- whether that's $5K or $5M)

There's other stuff you can do to short-circuit this negative thinking around conspicuous consumption. There's a gazillion jokes you can run with the fact that you can rent a BMW for $20/hour with Zipcar or a Ferrari for $100/hour with any number of organizations out there.

But if you accept the premise that net worth has no correlation whatsoever with anyone's value as a human being, and that attitude and work ethic matter more (and are different from net worth), and if you try to treat others that way, it gets a whole lot easier to not get sucked into envy. It gets a whole lot easier to not worry when you see a Ferrari pass you (or, failing that, you can always have some fun and ask the dude where he rented it).

Back to my rusty honda.

    • 4
Dec 12, 2016

I've always been good with not browsing social media but a couple years ago I was obsessed with following tech newsletters and quant finance blogs. I'd see people my age or younger at the time raising 8 or 9 figure C rounds, kids choosing which top-tier quant trading firm offer they wanted to pick, etc. For all the discussion we hear about how social media cultivates disappointment in oneself by comparing against the highlight reels of your friends, we don't give nearly the same assessment of that to industry media.

Seeing Snapchat valued at $25 billion is really no different than seeing your friend post a photo of himself in Croatia on a yacht. It doesn't concern you, there's a lot more than meets the eye, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Nowadays, the only things I read are textbooks/reference books, and industry non-fiction books. I couldn't care less about what tech company is doing what, just like I don't give a shit about who went to that siiiick club last night on Instagram. Envy is stupid.

    • 1
Dec 12, 2016

First rule of Fight Club is to never, ever read anything Business Insider.

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    • 8
Dec 12, 2016
TNA:

First rule of Fight Club is to never, ever read anything Business Insider.

There's junk food for your stomach, and there's junk news for your brain. BI is junk news. Don't read it. The headlines are designed to make you angry offended or jealous and suck you into their PT Barnum like posts.

Those of us old enough to remember the dot-com days know that nothing good can come from listening to Henry Blodget.

    • 1
Dec 13, 2016

I think people are annoyed at the '130 hours' thing because it implies that people less successful didn't work hard enough. Always remember that hard work and success are nowhere near directly correlated. Single moms with 3 jobs are working harder than you and you're the one making $200k/year. Why? Because you went to the right school, got the right internships, networked like a king, and studied financial-modeling/probability/econ. Just how it is.

Dec 14, 2016

... And were fortunate not to graduate in 2008 or 2009, come from a stable family that promotes education and can pay for a good school, not be blindsided by serious, life-threatening illness, etc.

Dec 13, 2016

Losers focus on winners, winners focus on winning. Play the best hand your dealt in life my friends.

    • 5
Dec 13, 2016
hightheta01:

Losers focus on winners, winners focus on winning. Play the best hand your dealt in life my friends.

Amen.

Dec 13, 2016

Anyone read Nietzche? Lack of envy = slave morality. It's a good thing... it's fuel

Dec 13, 2016
Systematic Uighur:

Anyone read Nietzche? Lack of envy = slave morality. It's a good thing... it's fuel

Nietzsche was a pretty miserable dude, and to be honest, he wasn't a winner, so his own example contradicts his worldview.

Nice guys finish first.

Dec 13, 2016

Yeah he didn't live up to his ideals, but it's fallacious to say that his ideals were unreasonable because he couldn't live up to them. And he won in that his works are more popular and influential today than those of his contemporaries.

To stay on the topic of his ideas rather than the man, all he advocated for was freedom to make lifelong progress towards meaningful goals instead of settling for less and being 'content' with mediocrity. Austere suppression of envy would detract from a life of working hard towards lofty goals.

Dec 13, 2016
Systematic Uighur:

Yeah he didn't live up to his ideals, but it's fallacious to say that his ideals were unreasonable because he couldn't live up to them. And he won in that his works are more popular and influential today than those of his contemporaries.

To stay on the topic of his ideas rather than the man, all he advocated for was freedom to make lifelong progress towards meaningful goals instead of settling for less and being 'content' with mediocrity. Austere suppression of envy would detract from a life of working hard towards lofty goals.

You're assuming that life is meritocratic, or that the outcome has some correlation with your merit and the degree to which you strive to reach your goals.

My view is that life is probably more like a Mr. Magoo or Rodney Dangerfield movie. (I say that as Mr. Magoo)

    • 1
Dec 14, 2016

Yeah, natural assumption to make. Capitalist country after all

Dec 15, 2016
Systematic Uighur:

Yeah, natural assumption to make. Capitalist country after all

Well, again, Nietzsche goes about it wrong.

Nietzsche focuses on the individual, but, while the rights and liberties of the individual are more important than the rights of the group, evolution and survival and success is ultimately about the group. Even among us antisocial programmers and quants.

And if you succeed as a group, you have to have values that are bigger than the individual. You have to be more ambitious for those around you than you are for yourself. And that means that envy really sucks (friendly jealousy is OK, just not resentment).

On the individual scale, life is like a Mr. Magoo movie. On the scale of anywhere from a group of ~10 to a country of 300 million, it becomes more and more Darwinian-- groups were how humans survived since we were primates. It's something that we saw in the Old World and something that was retained for ~10-20K years independently in the new world-- it's a human thing, not a cultural thing. And I want to be successful, but, for a fixed success on my part, I want my friends to beat me (just not by a hugely unhealthy margin.)

    • 2
Dec 13, 2016

drown it in liberal tears

I AM THE LIQUOR

Dec 15, 2016

Not really your problem - most likely the kids who got better offers deserved them, and the jealous kids likely have no one to blame but themselves/have nothing to complain about.

To put things in perspective, compare their jobs to "regular" jobs and the financial/work situations the average/majority of college students are in.

Dec 15, 2016
notthehospitalER:

Not really your problem - most likely the kids who got better offers deserved them, and the jealous kids likely have no one to blame but themselves/have nothing to complain about.

To put things in perspective, compare their jobs to "regular" jobs and the financial/work situations the average/majority of college students are in.

This right here. There was a small amount of that in my MBA classmates. Those landing the best paying jobs worked harder than the others, and they earned the benefits of that.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Dec 15, 2016

don't give a fuck?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

Dec 15, 2016

It's expected dude,tell them to focus all that negative energy into work and then they might get good offers or even better than their peers.

Dec 15, 2016
jcpenny:

Some of my classmates are kind of jealous of some of the kids who got better offers now that work has been going for a few months. I keep telling them to just chill and try to lateral next year.

Anyone got some tips to keep things in perspective and keep the jelly off their daily routine?

Just don't talk about it.

When you're stressed and angsty, having someone else telling you to relax etc doesn't help. Particularly not if that person has an offer and doesn't feel the same.

Someone with an offer telling those without an offer to relax, keep things in perspective etc is empathy deficient at best, more likely an obnoxious dick gloating.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, post threads about how to do it on WSO.

Dec 15, 2016

thx for feedback

Pennies from JcPenny

Dec 15, 2016

who gives a shit about them? survival of the fittest

Dec 15, 2016

Let them suffer further by telling them that those presumably more hard working kids have been accepting (or even better, rejecting) better offers. Yeah.

Fortes fortuna adiuvat.

Dec 15, 2016

why don't you like him?

Born in hell, forged from suffering, hardened by pain.

Dec 15, 2016
brianklk:

why don't you like him?

We got into a few heated arguments, and he tried to get me fired.

Dec 15, 2016

Jealousy and envy stem from insecurity.

To echo brianklk, why don't you like him? Did you have a bad confrontation with him or are you just totally jealous? Are you happy with what you're doing at your fund?

Dec 15, 2016
AlsatianCousin:

Jealousy and envy stem from insecurity.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Dec 15, 2016

brady4mvp is one of the more insecure guys on this forum

that's why he talks about wanting to get the harvard MBA all the fucking time to make himself feel like he's worth something to others

Born in hell, forged from suffering, hardened by pain.

Dec 15, 2016

That sounds like a pretty valid reason to have a distaste for someone. I feel that every time I've had a similar situation, I've tried to use my distaste for them as motivation to win.

XX

Dec 15, 2016

How about just focusing on your job and getting into bschool, and letting go of some distractions...

Get busy living

Dec 15, 2016

The hater/Baller thing def happens more than you think on a trading floor, it's the kind of competitive push that is supposed to push you harder.. So it's not just brady

Dec 15, 2016
shorttheworld:

The hater/Baller thing def happens more than you think on a trading floor, it's the kind of competitive push that is supposed to push you harder.. So it's not just brady

There's two ways to beat him. One, write my own algo, which makes more money than his. Second, get into a M7 b-school.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
shorttheworld:

The hater/Baller thing def happens more than you think on a trading floor, it's the kind of competitive push that is supposed to push you harder.. So it's not just brady

There's two ways to beat him. One, write my own algo, which makes more money than his. Second, get into a M7 b-school.

I don't see how getting into a M7 b-school would be "beating him" unless you were both trying for HBS or something and he didn't get in but you did. Even then, the guy wrote an algorithm that made a boatload of money. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone can get into HBS either, but I think what he did is the more difficult of the two tasks.

Just worry about yourself man.Dwelling on someone else's success will just take away time from which you can use to help or improve yourself.

The guy sounds like a dick though - trying to get you fired, unless this is something you started first.

Dec 15, 2016
Kanon:
Brady4MVP:
shorttheworld:

The hater/Baller thing def happens more than you think on a trading floor, it's the kind of competitive push that is supposed to push you harder.. So it's not just brady

There's two ways to beat him. One, write my own algo, which makes more money than his. Second, get into a M7 b-school.

I don't see how getting into a M7 b-school would be "beating him" unless you were both trying for HBS or something and he didn't get in but you did. Even then, the guy wrote an algorithm that made a boatload of money. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone can get into HBS either, but I think what he did is the more difficult of the two tasks.

Just worry about yourself man.Dwelling on someone else's success will just take away time from which you can use to help or improve yourself.

The guy sounds like a dick though - trying to get you fired, unless this is something you started first.

Well, I personally think writing algos and doing programming is insanely boring. So in my mind, doing M7 is much more desirable. But of course most people will disagree with this.

Dec 15, 2016

why do you need to "beat" him? you'll just find some other shit to feel insecure about

Dec 15, 2016

Brady are you Asian? I've always wondered..

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Dec 15, 2016
blackfinancier:

Brady are you Asian? I've always wondered..

blackfinancier, are you black? I've always wondered that too.

Hi, Eric Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet you.

    • 1
Dec 15, 2016
blackfinancier:

Brady are you Asian? I've always wondered..

Guaranteed Asian...I only read few of his posts and am fully convinced.

Do what you want not what you can!

Dec 15, 2016

I think most people would agree that business school is more fun and cooler, but the ultimate goal of a degree is to get a job and make money, right. I mean partying, crushing ass, etc are nice side benefits, but you could go to Miami for an MBA and do that. You go to HBS because you want the brand and great career and some fun on the side.

You don't like your job and the dude sounds like a cock. I wouldn't be jealous of him, I would just go do something different. Honestly, he is monetarily successful at the job probably because he loves it or is engaged. You are focused on B school so developing a cool algo isn't what you are focused on.

Do what you love and you will be successful.

Masters in Finance HQ - The #1 site for everything related to the MSF degree!
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Dec 15, 2016
ANT:

I think most people would agree that business school is more fun and cooler, but the ultimate goal of a degree is to get a job and make money, right. I mean partying, crushing ass, etc are nice side benefits, but you could go to Miami for an MBA and do that. You go to HBS because you want the brand and great career and some fun on the side.

You don't like your job and the dude sounds like a cock. I wouldn't be jealous of him, I would just go do something different. Honestly, he is monetarily successful at the job probably because he loves it or is engaged. You are focused on B school so developing a cool algo isn't what you are focused on.

Do what you love and you will be successful.

You're right. If you love your job you will find a way to be successful. I'm pretty miserable at my current job and haven't found something better, so i guess it makes getting into b-school that much more imperative.

Dec 15, 2016

Why are you miserable at your job?

Dec 15, 2016
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Dec 15, 2016
Sexy_Like_Enrique:
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Yeah, it's really rough. I badly need M7, more than anything else in my life. It would be very tough to accomplish my professional and social dreams without it.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
Sexy_Like_Enrique:
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Yeah, it's really rough. I badly need M7, more than anything else in my life. It would be very tough to accomplish my professional and social dreams without it.

Curious, here, what professional/social dreams cannot be achieved without an M7 mba? I don't know any people I hugely admire that have one...

Dec 15, 2016
trazer985:
Brady4MVP:
Sexy_Like_Enrique:
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Yeah, it's really rough. I badly need M7, more than anything else in my life. It would be very tough to accomplish my professional and social dreams without it.

Curious, here, what professional/social dreams cannot be achieved without an M7 mba? I don't know any people I hugely admire that have one...

It depends on the person. If you're happy with where you're at, then my statement certainly does not apply.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
trazer985:
Brady4MVP:
Sexy_Like_Enrique:
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Yeah, it's really rough. I badly need M7, more than anything else in my life. It would be very tough to accomplish my professional and social dreams without it.

Curious, here, what professional/social dreams cannot be achieved without an M7 mba? I don't know any people I hugely admire that have one...

It depends on the person. If you're happy with where you're at, then my statement certainly does not apply.

I can accept that, so name some. I'm genuinely in the dark here.

Dec 15, 2016
trazer985:
Brady4MVP:
trazer985:
Brady4MVP:
Sexy_Like_Enrique:
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

wow.. Brady, I hope you crack M7 soon bro. That sounds terrible. You really need B-school.

Yeah, it's really rough. I badly need M7, more than anything else in my life. It would be very tough to accomplish my professional and social dreams without it.

Curious, here, what professional/social dreams cannot be achieved without an M7 mba? I don't know any people I hugely admire that have one...

It depends on the person. If you're happy with where you're at, then my statement certainly does not apply.

I can accept that, so name some. I'm genuinely in the dark here.

For me personally, I want to transition into investment management, which is the #1 reason i want to do a M7 MBA. Socially, I want to meet a lot of like-minded people in one setting, with whom i can party and travel with for 2 years. This is very tough right now since my friends are scattered, and it's nearly impossible to arrange trips when everyone is working. I am also very intrigued by the potential dating opportunities, both within b-school and with other programs at the university.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
Culcet:

Why are you miserable at your job?

I find the work very uninteresting and boring. Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I feel fucking miserable. It of course doesn't help when i constantly get texts from my b-school buddies about their parties, travels, and girls they're banging.

Dude, no offense, but are you sure they are your friends instead of friendmies (or whatever the spelling of the term is), or just dicks that can't stand you and messing with you? When I am having fun traveling with friends internationally, ski trips, hooking up, etc. I don't fcking text random guy friends how awesome a time I am having in the middle of the night. Either I tell about the escapades when we meet-up for dinner and drinks or a bunch of them are with me having fun.

As for weekend trips. I try to plan my meetings and deliverables at work (if I can) around these trips as does most of us who signed up for the trip. We had a great Vegas trip a couple months back when like 7 out of 10 were able to make it. I think you need more healthy friends and pursuits in life. Hobbies, friends, family, girlfriends, activities, etc. sure make life a lot enjoyable than just work and focusing on getting into a M7.

Hug It Out

    • 1
Dec 15, 2016

I've never envied any of my colleagues, or really anyone at our firm, for anything work related.

I suppose I've always viewed their success as a good thing for my career. I've had mostly good relationships with the people I've worked with so it's like having someone successful in your network who knows you well. That said. There's nothing like some healthy competition to get one focused on a task / goal.

When I was a 2nd year analyst we hired a guy at my level who was a lot more connected than I was. I used that as a motivator to start building out my network. It was a good push to have early in my career.

However, in your case, the rivalry doesn't seem healthy. Especially as he has tried to get you fired. Make sure you are positioned well politically in the firm and are doing a good job / can make people money.

I would also focus on developing yourself in absolute terms instead of benchmarking yourself to this guy. You should be setting the agenda for what matters for your success at work and in your personal life (jobs, credentials, academics, professional network, personal relationships, family, social impact, popularity, travel, etc...).

Dec 15, 2016

I think it's valuable to envy someone - idolize an alpha senior and learn from them. That's what I do.

    • 1
Dec 15, 2016

Give him a bat wing. There is no way that guy could possibly top that.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Dec 15, 2016
heister:

Give him a bat wing. There is no way that guy could possibly top that.

False, what if he counters with the "The Goat"

Dec 15, 2016
rufiolove:
heister:

Give him a bat wing. There is no way that guy could possibly top that.

False, what if he counters with the "The Goat"

Well any return fire looses the first strike bonus.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Dec 15, 2016
heister:
rufiolove:
heister:

Give him a bat wing. There is no way that guy could possibly top that.

False, what if he counters with the "The Goat"

Well any return fire looses the first strike bonus.

lmao

Dec 15, 2016

Most of you must have never stepped foot near a trade floor. Telling brady to see a shrink. Everyone on a trade floor wants to beat everyone too. You secretly want everyone to do well (any bozo blowing up could hurt your year) but you also secretly want to be #1.

Has nothing to do with insecurity has to do with the nature of the job.

PS: getting into a M7 school won't beat him guy, you need to write your own algo.

Dec 15, 2016
marcellus_wallace:

Most of you must have never stepped foot near a trade floor. Telling brady to see a shrink. Everyone on a trade floor wants to beat everyone too. You secretly want everyone to do well (any bozo blowing up could hurt your year) but you also secretly want to be #1.

Has nothing to do with insecurity has to do with the nature of the job.

PS: getting into a M7 school won't beat him guy, you need to write your own algo.

I think everyone's posts are factoring Brady's previous post history and not just this isolated incident.

Dec 15, 2016
whatwhatwhat:
marcellus_wallace:

Most of you must have never stepped foot near a trade floor. Telling brady to see a shrink. Everyone on a trade floor wants to beat everyone too. You secretly want everyone to do well (any bozo blowing up could hurt your year) but you also secretly want to be #1.

Has nothing to do with insecurity has to do with the nature of the job.

PS: getting into a M7 school won't beat him guy, you need to write your own algo.

I think everyone's posts are factoring Brady's previous post history and not just this isolated incident.

Obviously. What would be the point of having an entire Banana/SB/MS economy on this site if micro-reputation were a non-issue? Why would we even have usernames?

Dec 15, 2016

I hope you get into B-school or I am going to open up the FT and see a hedge fund trader who laid the smackdown on another trader on bonus day

Dec 15, 2016

Brady, is there a way you could lateral into your target role/firm? If not, have you already networked and met with/spoken to senior folks at those funds?

If you do that now you might be able to side-step the b-school experience or at the very least position yourself well for recruiting once you are admitted.

Dec 15, 2016
Relinquis:

Brady, is there a way you could lateral into your target role/firm? If not, have you already networked and met with/spoken to senior folks at those funds?

If you do that now you might be able to side-step the b-school experience or at the very least position yourself well for recruiting once you are admitted.

Relinquis, great question. Yes, I have talked to tons of people and done networking. They all said the same thing without exception: "Given your lack of experience in IM, your only shot is a top b-school. And even then, you will have to bust your ass off with stock pitches and interviews." But with M7 programs, I will at least have access to all the companies I want to work at, through ocr, company presentation, networking events. I still have to work hard of course, and I'm not expecting a handout, but at least I will be given the opportunity to get my foot in the door.

Dec 15, 2016

"I thought I was depressed until I realized I was just surrounded by assholes"

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Dec 15, 2016

money talks

period.

Dec 15, 2016

Sent you a PM

Dec 15, 2016

Brady, I see your point. I think you should try to do well at your firm while you're there (algorithms, lead an initiative, or however you make money), but keep working towards your other goals. On two separate occasions I had been promoted a month or two prior to submitting my resignation. If I hadn't found those new roles I would have at least been able to benefit from the promotions and extra cash.

Also, date more... hang out with your friends & family more... and try out new activities (sports, arts, short trips, whatever, etc...). It will give you more perspective and will help you find the balance you need to get through a tough career period.

Dec 15, 2016
Relinquis:

Brady, I see your point. I think you should try to do well at your firm while you're there (algorithms, lead an initiative, or however you make money), but keep working towards your other goals. On two separate occasions I had been promoted a month or two prior to submitting my resignation. If I hadn't found those new roles I would have at least been able to benefit from the promotions and extra cash.

Also, date more... hang out with your friends & family more... and try out new activities (sports, arts, short trips, whatever, etc...). It will give you more perspective and will help you find the balance you need to get through a tough career period.

Thanks for the sound advice. I got a 10% payraise back in november after a very good review with my boss. The guy likes me a lot despite the rough patch we had earlier. But I'm still not satisfied and felt nothing. The problem is not the money. It's that i genuinely don't like the work i'm doing to the point that i suffer from depression AND i feel that my company is hurting my chances at a M7 b-school.

I am going out more than i normally am. But chicago winters are brutal, so it's tough to go out. More importantly, it's hard to be in the social zone when your professional life is so unsatisfying, and you're fantasizing about b-school. I'm trying very hard though to improve on this.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
Relinquis:

Brady, I see your point. I think you should try to do well at your firm while you're there (algorithms, lead an initiative, or however you make money), but keep working towards your other goals. On two separate occasions I had been promoted a month or two prior to submitting my resignation. If I hadn't found those new roles I would have at least been able to benefit from the promotions and extra cash.

Also, date more... hang out with your friends & family more... and try out new activities (sports, arts, short trips, whatever, etc...). It will give you more perspective and will help you find the balance you need to get through a tough career period.

Thanks for the sound advice. I got a 10% payraise back in november after a very good review with my boss. The guy likes me a lot despite the rough patch we had earlier. But I'm still not satisfied and felt nothing. The problem is not the money. It's that i genuinely don't like the work i'm doing to the point that i suffer from depression AND i feel that my company is hurting my chances at a M7 b-school.

I am going out more than i normally am. But chicago winters are brutal, so it's tough to go out. More importantly, it's hard to be in the social zone when your professional life is so unsatisfying, and you're fantasizing about b-school. I'm trying very hard though to improve on this.

Brady what do you do at work?

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Dec 15, 2016
blackfinancier:
Brady4MVP:
Relinquis:

Brady, I see your point. I think you should try to do well at your firm while you're there (algorithms, lead an initiative, or however you make money), but keep working towards your other goals. On two separate occasions I had been promoted a month or two prior to submitting my resignation. If I hadn't found those new roles I would have at least been able to benefit from the promotions and extra cash.

Also, date more... hang out with your friends & family more... and try out new activities (sports, arts, short trips, whatever, etc...). It will give you more perspective and will help you find the balance you need to get through a tough career period.

Thanks for the sound advice. I got a 10% payraise back in november after a very good review with my boss. The guy likes me a lot despite the rough patch we had earlier. But I'm still not satisfied and felt nothing. The problem is not the money. It's that i genuinely don't like the work i'm doing to the point that i suffer from depression AND i feel that my company is hurting my chances at a M7 b-school.

I am going out more than i normally am. But chicago winters are brutal, so it's tough to go out. More importantly, it's hard to be in the social zone when your professional life is so unsatisfying, and you're fantasizing about b-school. I'm trying very hard though to improve on this.

Brady what do you do at work?

I work on a quantitative equity trading desk, doing stat arb stuff.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP][quote=Relinquis:

I am going out more than i normally am. But chicago winters are brutal, so it's tough to go out. .

This is the mildest Chicago winter I've seen since I've moved here. Try a new excuse.

Dec 15, 2016

i'm writing an algo based on the correlation between brady's posts and M7 business school mentions. its going to make a killing.

--
sm

Dec 15, 2016

Brady you ever hear the term putting the pussy on a pedestal?

You need to work on your life RIGHT NOW, and stop creating this false image of a dream that will only let you down once you finally achieve it (which I hope you do).

B-School will not be everything you dream it is, and the bottom line is that right now you are living in a major city making a lot of money. You should be balling out making friends and having a great time when you are not at work. If you arent having fun now with all of your endless resources then you probably won't have the grand old time you're expecting at an M-7.

Also you should envy your co worker, but only in a way that pushes you to try and be better then them. If not then you are in the wrong field.

Dec 15, 2016
Faddy:

Brady you ever hear the term putting the pussy on a pedestal?

You need to work on your life RIGHT NOW, and stop creating this false image of a dream that will only let you down once you finally achieve it (which I hope you do).

B-School will not be everything you dream it is, and the bottom line is that right now you are living in a major city making a lot of money. You should be balling out making friends and having a great time when you are not at work. If you arent having fun now with all of your endless resources then you probably won't have the grand old time you're expecting at an M-7.

Also you should envy your co worker, but only in a way that pushes you to try and be better then them. If not then you are in the wrong field.

  1. I'm NOT a baller. I don't know how this false rumor got started. Probably by Illini =)
  2. More importantly, when your friends are scattered throughout, and they are busy with work and other stuff, there's a limit to how much fun you can have. In b-school you are all on the same schedule. You're also surrounded by people whom you have a lot in common with. That's an invaluable thing.

I had dinner last night with my best friend and his girlfriend, who are both first-years at a top 5 b-school. While we were eating, they saw their classmates come into the same restaurant. They were all joking about how everytime they go out, they run into their classmates. My friend said, "yeah it seems like we run the city." That type of camaraderie, combined with an endless cornucopia of social activities and travels, is something I deeply crave. I must admit that I felt very envious when they were talking about their b-school experience thus far and how it has exceeded their expectations.

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
Faddy:

Brady you ever hear the term putting the pussy on a pedestal?

You need to work on your life RIGHT NOW, and stop creating this false image of a dream that will only let you down once you finally achieve it (which I hope you do).

B-School will not be everything you dream it is, and the bottom line is that right now you are living in a major city making a lot of money. You should be balling out making friends and having a great time when you are not at work. If you arent having fun now with all of your endless resources then you probably won't have the grand old time you're expecting at an M-7.

Also you should envy your co worker, but only in a way that pushes you to try and be better then them. If not then you are in the wrong field.

  1. I'm NOT a baller. I don't know how this false rumor got started. Probably by Illini =)
  2. More importantly, when your friends are scattered throughout, and they are busy with work and other stuff, there's a limit to how much fun you can have. In b-school you are all on the same schedule. You're also surrounded by people whom you have a lot in common with. That's an invaluable thing.

I had dinner last night with my best friend and his girlfriend, who are both first-years at a top 5 b-school. While we were eating, they saw their classmates come into the same restaurant. They were all joking about how everytime they go out, they run into their classmates. My friend said, "yeah it seems like we run the city." That type of camaraderie, combined with an endless cornucopia of social activities and travels, is something I deeply crave. I must admit that I felt very envious when they were talking about their b-school experience thus far and how it has exceeded their expectations.

ts guys like you that end up social chairs of their bschool classes/cohorts
which is not necessarily a bad thing, I doubt many 27 year olds want to clean up after parties where everyone relives their college days

also, most bschool students think their dick is much bigger than it is. most of the chill/fun associates I know didn't do bschool (1 went because his wife was going...)

Dec 15, 2016
monkeyc:
Brady4MVP:
Faddy:

Brady you ever hear the term putting the pussy on a pedestal?

You need to work on your life RIGHT NOW, and stop creating this false image of a dream that will only let you down once you finally achieve it (which I hope you do).

B-School will not be everything you dream it is, and the bottom line is that right now you are living in a major city making a lot of money. You should be balling out making friends and having a great time when you are not at work. If you arent having fun now with all of your endless resources then you probably won't have the grand old time you're expecting at an M-7.

Also you should envy your co worker, but only in a way that pushes you to try and be better then them. If not then you are in the wrong field.

  1. I'm NOT a baller. I don't know how this false rumor got started. Probably by Illini =)
  2. More importantly, when your friends are scattered throughout, and they are busy with work and other stuff, there's a limit to how much fun you can have. In b-school you are all on the same schedule. You're also surrounded by people whom you have a lot in common with. That's an invaluable thing.

I had dinner last night with my best friend and his girlfriend, who are both first-years at a top 5 b-school. While we were eating, they saw their classmates come into the same restaurant. They were all joking about how everytime they go out, they run into their classmates. My friend said, "yeah it seems like we run the city." That type of camaraderie, combined with an endless cornucopia of social activities and travels, is something I deeply crave. I must admit that I felt very envious when they were talking about their b-school experience thus far and how it has exceeded their expectations.

ts guys like you that end up social chairs of their bschool classes/cohorts
which is not necessarily a bad thing, I doubt many 27 year olds want to clean up after parties where everyone relives their college days

also, most bschool students think their dick is much bigger than it is. most of the chill/fun associates I know didn't do bschool (1 went because his wife was going...)

If I'm fortunate enough to get in, I'll be one of the older students, but I have no problem with that. I'm eager to have a fucking blast for 2 years and get the partying out of my system.

Dec 15, 2016

Hate to tell you this brother, but if you suffer from envy of peers, you're going to feel like an insignificant shit at an M7 school. ESPECIALLY HBS.

The world is what it is; men who are nothing, who allow themselves to become nothing, have no place in it.

-V. S. Naipaul

Dec 15, 2016

wait...

Brady, you're a trader at a hedge fund?

unreal.

Dec 15, 2016
febreeze:

wait...

Brady, you're a trader at a hedge fund?

unreal.

He's also apparently like 32 years old or some shit.

I'm 99.9% sure that he's trolling us.

Dec 15, 2016

lol at the overwhelming Asian-ness of Brady in this thread (and every other thread he's ever posted in). Classic.

Dec 15, 2016

Sorry my algo is so legit. I'll totes def tell them you helped me on it. Please, quit spitting in my water. I see you do it. I'm sorry I tried to get you fired. I was scared you were going to write a better algo.

Dec 15, 2016

Fuck envy. One of the top trade finance/treasury guys at my shop fucking hates me because he started here at my age (hes been here for like 20 years now) and was never able to pull off a single trade (which explains his ascendendancy in the bean counting dpt). Every time I come up with a good idea/trade I have to deal with this fucker trying to shut it down because of "counterparty risk" or "capital intensiveness" or whatever... ugh. Takes sooo much effort to have to shoot down all his argument.

Dec 15, 2016
contagoman:

Fuck envy. One of the top trade finance/treasury guys at my shop fucking hates me because he started here at my age (hes been here for like 20 years now) and was never able to pull off a single trade (which explains his ascendendancy in the bean counting dpt). Every time I come up with a good idea/trade I have to deal with this fucker trying to shut it down because of "counterparty risk" or "capital intensiveness" or whatever... ugh. Takes sooo much effort to have to shoot down all his argument.

Only reason I don't like this guy is because he's a douchebag who tried to get me fired. There are plenty of nice successful guys whom I don't envy at all.

You're in Chicago, right?

Dec 15, 2016
Brady4MVP:
contagoman:

Fuck envy. One of the top trade finance/treasury guys at my shop fucking hates me because he started here at my age (hes been here for like 20 years now) and was never able to pull off a single trade (which explains his ascendendancy in the bean counting dpt). Every time I come up with a good idea/trade I have to deal with this fucker trying to shut it down because of "counterparty risk" or "capital intensiveness" or whatever... ugh. Takes sooo much effort to have to shoot down all his argument.

Only reason I don't like this guy is because he's a douchebag who tried to get me fired. There are plenty of nice successful guys whom I don't envy at all.

You're in Chicago, right?

Nah, I went to school there though

Dec 15, 2016

When you focus on getting what you don't have, you lose control of your current work.

I was in a small liberal art school, It wasn't a good fit socially and academically. I wanted something more challenging. I put all my energy in trying to get out of my Libart school to go to a bigger school and better school.
Long story short, transferring became my main priority and I screwed up royally.

Went from 3.8 GPA Freshman year to Academic Probation sophomore year. After failing , failing and failing, I realized that despite being unhappy at my current school, I should have focus on doing my best there. Sometimes you try to go somewhere else, it doesn't work. You have to know when to take a break and stop hitting a wall that you cannot break. Taking a break to reevaluate your strategy, your goals, and your desire does not mean that you gave up the fight.

It might help you see things more clearly and understand better where you are, what you have , and where you want to go. So instead of focusing on the HBS admission which you can't control, focus on doing the best job at your current work. Instead of looking at the other guy's work, focus on improving your algorithm, your work, your social and career network. Make yourself better than before.

You think that you will be better by beating this guy, but to be excel, you have to become better than what you were, So don't compete with the guy. Compete with yourself, Strive to become better every day at your work. Keep the guy in check but don't let your envy and your animosity blinded you.

It's the guy that you don't like today, but sooner or later, your emotion will be the same for everyone at work. How do I know? I ended up despising every one who liked my liberal Art school because unlike me, they were not miserable.

Michael Corleone said that we should not hate our enemies because hate blinds our judgement. One day, the guy could do something that would put you at an advantage but you will fail to grab the opportunity because your envy toward him will make you doubt his intention.

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

Dec 15, 2016
Yohoo:

Michael Corleone said that we should not hate our enemies because hate blinds our judgement.

Nice

Get busy living

Dec 15, 2016
UFOinsider:
Yohoo:

Michael Corleone said that we should not hate our enemies because hate blinds our judgement.

Nice

Thanks. You gave him some great advice

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

Dec 15, 2016

1: 'Others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. Then you destroy yourself.' #2: Tupac?

Dec 15, 2016

Brady,

Honestly it sounds to me like you are going to be miserable no matter what. You seem to be getting self worth from comparing yourself to others, you don't seem to be able to make new friends, and you don't seem to be happy even when you are active. I have a feeling that even if you get into HBS your happiness will be fleeting. You'll end up not making the great friends you thought you would, not dating the hotties you dream about, won't get the ego boost you think you will, and you'll be unhappy even when you are partying because of those things.

It seems to me you need to do some work on your inner dialogue.

Dec 15, 2016
blackfinancier:

Brady are you Asian? I've always wondered..

Aaaaayyyy...

bossman:

Guaranteed Asian...I only read few of his posts and am fully convinced.

And double aaaayyyyy!

Ari_Gold:

Dude, no offense, but are you sure they are your friends instead of friendmies (or whatever the spelling of the term is),

Frenemies. Alternatively, frenulum (pl: frenula) works, in a pinch!

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Dec 15, 2016

you sound so fuckin sad lol