IB LIFE HACKS

3 IB LIFE HACKS I learned while in banking:

HACK 1) Come in early, turn on your computer, respond to email, go to the gym for 1 hour.
ACCOMPLISHED: Your desk looks occupied, you come in fresh after the gym, you avoid getting a banker bod.

HACK 2) When you finish work earlier than expected but your boss isn't expecting it until the AM, set up auto emailing on outlook to trigger an email while you are sleeping.
ACCOMPLISHED: You avoid nonsense last minute comments, you appear to be working harder than you are, you are treated better in the AM as others think you pulled a late night.

HACK 3) Invest in 3rd party applications to complete tasks faster. Most run at $35-$50/ month (you have the extra cash)
ACCOMPLISHED: Avoid stress of manually doing the job, work is done more professionally, you appear better than your peers for a small cost.

Do you guys have any IB LIFE HACKS to SHARE?

Comments (143)

 
Jun 18, 2020 - 8:44pm

LiquidCashGirl:

HACK 2) When you finish work earlier than expected but your boss isn't expecting it until the AM, set up auto emailing on outlook to trigger an email while you are sleeping.

Until your boss responds back immediately at 3am and you don't respond until 9. This trick is as old as time. Seems clever but can get you in trouble. Just send as late as possible before bed

Array

  • 13
 
Most Helpful
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020 - 8:47pm

Guys, guys, be nice to the lady. She just gave you some good hacks. To answer your question, here are the trending IB apps to check out:

  • Memofi - www.memofi.co - committee/investment memo automator
  • Bam[Sec] - google for SEC filings
  • LogoIntern - download logos for decks
 
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020 - 1:51pm

What banks are y'all at that don't give you BamSEC and logointern?

 
Jun 20, 2020 - 7:50pm

My bank donestn pay for this. We have to use free subscription. That's why I don't use it.

!Sexy(https://media0.giphy.com/media/veAy5UOhBdS3C/giphy-downsized.gif)

That is to BAMSEC and logointern, not you. And fellow richards

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 2
 
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020 - 7:24pm

Just signed up for the free lifetime membership for Memofi. Going to auction it off on WSO after I finally have the guts to quit my job..

bid

 
Funniest
  • Associate 2 in Acct - Audit
Jun 18, 2020 - 8:58pm

I like to bring a mailman outfit to work. I go into the bathroom change into the mailman clothing and then put my suit in a fedex box so no one sees me leave. Don't forget the hat.

 
  • Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020 - 9:01pm

This is great. Wonder what happens when you're catching the elevator down with your MD and he recognizes you

 
  • VP in IB - Gen
Jun 18, 2020 - 9:06pm

Jesus man, I haven't laughed this hard in a while... good stuff. I am going to start checking out all the mailmen to make sure they aren't my associates/analysts...

 
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020 - 10:00pm

This is an easy one - a plain and simple scheme. Leave at 5pm, call in your expensed seamless dinner to the office address after your dinner time threshold, call the restaurant directly and have them make a "handwritten" change to your apt address. Its free dinner and you're not at the office. Thank me later.

 
  • VP in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020 - 11:23pm

You know they check when you scan in and out of the building vs. the nights when you order Seamless? Like, it's automated and red flags are brought up to reviewers. A bunch of people got caught at WF I think for doing stuff like this, as well as other schemes like handwritten taxi receipts. Really not worth testing the waters on this one.

 
Jun 19, 2020 - 4:23am

Yes, WF SF had half of their group demolished bc of this. The group is in the shitter now because everyone left.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 1
 
Jun 19, 2020 - 9:15pm

Honestly, it's not crazy people would try this. Many people look at free dinner as one of the perks of the job. You don't (usually) get 3 dinner allowances if you're crushed til 6 AM. Is it a big deal if you get out early and order the free meal? Really?

What's crazy is how much banking has changed - how much more margin pressure banks are under - that they even care about this stuff. It's squabbling over pennies. It's why all-in analyst comp basically hasn't increased since 2006 (FYI that's 14 years)

 
  • Associate 1 in IB - DCM
Jun 21, 2020 - 2:22pm

Trying to get free dinner when you work 12hrs a day for a bank that offers free dinner after a certain time just to keep you in the office to work longer... This is morally justified for sure

 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - DCM
Jun 20, 2020 - 12:12pm

Don't do this. Seriously, just don't. Its not worth getting fired because you are too cheap to cough up $15 for dinner. If you really want dinner, work until 8 every night on a side project if you finish your work

 
  • Intern in IB - Ind
Jun 19, 2020 - 10:29am

a good hack is to put on red light mode on your screen - saves your eyes and prevents headaches. turn off when doing colour related shit like ppts and charts etc but otherwise good to leave it on.

 
Jun 19, 2020 - 11:48am

parlay this with some blue light glasses and your eyes will thank you forever.

Array
 
Jun 19, 2020 - 1:53pm

If you do this consistently, try turning it off at night if you have hours of edits dumped on you at ~11 PM. You'll notice a different and feel much more awake.

Array

  • 1
 
Jun 19, 2020 - 1:38pm

How do I get onto that floor though when you have to have key card access? Should I steal one from the security guard? He can't fault me for stealing it as anyone would understand how important it is to take a solid shit.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 1
 
Jun 20, 2020 - 9:27am

Hang up your coat/jacket in a closet far away from your desk and ideally far away from your group. When you are ready to leave for the day at 6 or 7pm dont log off and dont say bye. People may assume you are grabbing seamless or meeting an md down the hall. Everyone else has their jacket on their chair or in closet next to their desk so they have to make a big scene putting on their coat to leave for the day. You will avoid this and stay under the radar. Huge hack.

 
Jun 20, 2020 - 3:15pm

Look at mypost below of peole still noticng. Not going to matter. Agreed that at surface level thsee make sense though

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 
Jun 20, 2020 - 3:15pm

People will notice regardless when one of the talkative analysts says to the whole group that where is BAdDeadflow? He always disappears at 6.

I hate this office gossip. Know ana analyst who would disappear for dinner with his gf for an hour and everyone would constantly ask him (analysts and above) where he was during that time (even though he wasn't on any live deals or getting chased)

What a pain and how nosy of people

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 1
 
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020 - 10:57am

Have gallons of water at your desk and stay hydrated

 
Jun 20, 2020 - 3:16pm

My VPN connection thing always logs off after 10 mins of inactivity. I hope this works so I can keep my computer on the whold eay!

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jun 20, 2020 - 7:59pm

Windows media player works like a charm!

 
Jun 22, 2020 - 7:52pm

Golden advice. Bonus if you have a gym in your building so when someone pings you with an ASAP request, you can just pop back upstairs to fire it out and then get back to working out.

Socializing is a bit harder, but I don't care if I look like a tool with my laptop out at a bar. I'll do it so I can get back to drinking beers 10 minutes later.

 
Jun 20, 2020 - 7:23pm

Dude, you need to switch to Away permanently. That way, no one will know you are actually online because everyone knows you cant be away for 4 days...

!missing(https://media3.giphy.com/media/l2JehQ2GitHGdVG9y/giphy.gif)

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 3
 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Restr
Jun 21, 2020 - 11:52am

Haven't tried myself but have heard of stories - any firsthand accounts anyone is willing to entertain us with?

 
Jun 22, 2020 - 2:45pm

More like you do all of her work for her. She knows she is in control and you desire what she has. She doesn't necessarily want whatyou have as she can get it from any other analyst or person on a dating app (like 60+ people)

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 23, 2020 - 9:14pm

Get this to you in 15 minutes - don't worry... MD 1 day later: "can I see a draft?" You 1 day later "I actually haven't been able to get to it.."

 
Jun 22, 2020 - 6:33am

Be kind to your Indian outsourced helpers. Make friends with them and they will definitely make your life easier

Array

 
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 22, 2020 - 8:59am

My MD married his factset technical support rep because they talked every night.. NOT JOKING

 
  • VP in IB - Gen
Jun 22, 2020 - 9:07am

I've heard this story and know what bank you work at. Healthcare group MD, rightt

 
Jun 23, 2020 - 1:03am

That is both heartwarming yet so sad at the same time :')

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

 
Jun 22, 2020 - 12:07pm

Hack 2 makes no sense. At what shop would directors give you credit for sending a late night email to indicate you are "pulling a late night." If anything, it would indicate to them that you're wildly inefficient at your job and unnecessarily compromised due to lack of sleep.

 
Jun 22, 2020 - 2:44pm

Be careful yes

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 
Jun 22, 2020 - 1:13pm
  • Might be obvious, but take your notes using Evernote. Having all your notes aggregated in one software platform (as opposed to taking notes in word, saving individual files for notes for each call, etc.) makes it incredibly easy to find information. The search bar in Evernote has saved me a ton of time.

  • I used to put a stapler/other item on my space bar and leave the office for an hour at night to go work out. Keeps your screen from going to screen saver. Bonus points if you leave your chair out, as if you just got up for a second and haven't come back yet.

  • Change your default text/font in Outlook to match whatever mobile software you use for email. No one will be able to tell if you are emailing from your phone or your computer.

"My name's Ralph Cox, and I'm from where ever's not gonna get me hit"
  • 7
 
Jun 22, 2020 - 2:47pm

EVERNOTE is a compliance breach at my firm. Use OneNote instaed

Did this too but then MD came back after night out and saw and got pissed

You're an idiot if you don't already do this.

kryssi

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
 
Jun 23, 2020 - 12:51pm

True on pt3 except at least in Outlook responses with RE are from computers and Re are from mobile app (iphone or ipad). Junior bankers probably know this but MDs probably have no clue...

 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jun 25, 2020 - 9:16pm

I don't understand why people just post periods on this forum... makes no sense

 
Jun 26, 2020 - 3:06am

It's because tthey deletd their orignial psto

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 1
 
Jun 23, 2020 - 1:53am

Few thing from my time years ago:

  • Make friends with someone in IT ASAP. You can get memory upgrades, notices on firm wide system/software updates, etc.
  • Be nice to the back-office. You'd be amazed how this comes back to bite people in reviews. Also nothing to gain from being a jerk to these guys
  • Quick access toolbar for all things formatting
  • repeat the material points of any meeting with a superior or staffer in an email as a CYA
 
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 27, 2020 - 1:58pm

The best thing to do if you need something and it is out of your power is simply to talk to the right person

 
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jun 29, 2020 - 12:27am

How do you frame the CYA email without sounding weird? Just "hey, here is a recap of what we talked about"?

 
  • Associate 1 in IB - Ind
Jun 25, 2020 - 11:41pm

Sticky notes on the bottom of the mouse covering the sensor works too

 
Jun 24, 2020 - 5:36am

And I thought my ratiio was the highest on this forum

oh well

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.
  • 1
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