IB LIFE HACKS

LiquidCashGirl's picture
Rank: Baboon | 124

3 IB LIFE HACKS I learned while in banking:

HACK 1) Come in early, turn on your computer, respond to email, go to the gym for 1 hour.
ACCOMPLISHED: Your desk looks occupied, you come in fresh after the gym, you avoid getting a banker bod.

HACK 2) When you finish work earlier than expected but your boss isn't expecting it until the AM, set up auto emailing on outlook to trigger an email while you are sleeping.
ACCOMPLISHED: You avoid nonsense last minute comments, you appear to be working harder than you are, you are treated better in the AM as others think you pulled a late night.

HACK 3) Invest in 3rd party applications to complete tasks faster. Most run at $35-$50/ month (you have the extra cash)
ACCOMPLISHED: Avoid stress of manually doing the job, work is done more professionally, you appear better than your peers for a small cost.

Do you guys have any IB LIFE HACKS to SHARE?

Comments (182)

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

What are these third party applications that you speak of?

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  • Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020

Totally fair question. It's not so easy to find IB-specific third party apps via google.

    • 41
Jun 18, 2020

Sweetheart, when your MD asks you to find out what the state of subprime auto loans in a specific municipality are thats going to be a harder google search. You should be able to do a little more research on your own.

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  • Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020

Sorry babe, but working for my MD and working for info on WSO that could have easily been iterated is not the same

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Controversial
  • Incoming Analyst in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

You deliberately made a thread trying to help people and then don't even explain your points?

Very weird, must suck working with you

    • 87
    • 5
Jun 19, 2020

You are the reason people are put off of banking

    • 16
Jun 23, 2020

What is wrong with you? Do you even work in the industry, because I know for sure you wouldn't pass any behaviorals... jesus your such a weirdo.

Array

  • Consultant in Consulting
Jun 18, 2020

Wow. Your post is entitled "life hacks," which is defined as a strategy adopted to manage one's time in a more efficient way. So someone asks how they can be more efficient in their search of something you posted, and you lambaste them?

Hypocrisy? Or is this just the pleasant attitude of most MDs/VPs?

    • 14
  • Prospect in IB - Gen
Jun 19, 2020

girls are funny

    • 6
Jun 19, 2020

One of my pet hates is when someone asks a question on forum then is told to google it, especially when the question is directly pertinent to the discussion. Putting aside the mean spirited toxicity of this response for a moment its also illogical and inefficient to criticize the asking of simple questions on a forum. Both forums and search engines are legitimate ways of gathering information. The person asking a very basic question might be ignorant but they are seeking knowledge and will reduce their ignorance and the ignorance of some other readers. The person shooting them down is just a dick and doubt google has any answers that will help with that.

    • 33
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
Jun 19, 2020

Swing and a miss, take a lap

    • 5
Jun 19, 2020

lol

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

    • 1
Jun 20, 2020

I come back to this post after a day of posting and you guys have thrown 100+ turds at me. Thats honestly pretty brutal...

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    • 11
Jun 24, 2020

This has got to be the most MS'd post on this forum ever.

I WISH I COULD BE LIKE YOU!

No, I'm just kidding. This post shouldn't be titled controversial. I think WSO needs to come up with a straight up Hated post category.

ha

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

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  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 23, 2020

ha

Jun 18, 2020

Personally more of a fan working out at night but to each their own

    • 1
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

Bump

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    • 2
Jun 18, 2020
LiquidCashGirl:

HACK 2) When you finish work earlier than expected but your boss isn't expecting it until the AM, set up auto emailing on outlook to trigger an email while you are sleeping.

Until your boss responds back immediately at 3am and you don't respond until 9. This trick is as old as time. Seems clever but can get you in trouble. Just send as late as possible before bed

Array

    • 12
Most Helpful
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

Guys, guys, be nice to the lady. She just gave you some good hacks. To answer your question, here are the trending IB apps to check out:

  • Memo[Fi] - www.memo[fi].co - committee/investment memo automator
  • Bam[Sec] - google for SEC filings
  • Logo[Intern] - download logos for decks
    • 96
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

Ah, that's the kind of information I was looking for. Thanks, man, appreciate it.

    • 5
Jun 19, 2020

Logo intern is legendary

    • 8
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020

What banks are y'all at that don't give you BamSEC and logointern?

Jun 20, 2020

My bank donestn pay for this. We have to use free subscription. That's why I don't use it.

sexy

That is to BAMSEC and logointern, not you. And fellow richards

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 2
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020

Just signed up for the free lifetime membership for Memo[Fi]. Going to auction it off on WSO after I finally have the guts to quit my job..

bid

    • 11
  • VP in IB - Gen
Jun 21, 2020

Not seeing an option for a lifetime membership - am I blind?

Funniest
  • Associate 2 in Acct - Audit
Jun 18, 2020

I like to bring a mailman outfit to work. I go into the bathroom change into the mailman clothing and then put my suit in a fedex box so no one sees me leave. Don't forget the hat.

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  • Analyst 2 in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020

This is great. Wonder what happens when you're catching the elevator down with your MD and he recognizes you

    • 2
Jun 19, 2020

your MD actually recognizes you? wow

    • 12
Jun 19, 2020

If you're that stressed about it than enjoy a nice pleasant walk down the stairs instead

  • VP in IB - Gen
Jun 18, 2020

Jesus man, I haven't laughed this hard in a while... good stuff. I am going to start checking out all the mailmen to make sure they aren't my associates/analysts...

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  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

I was wondering how my associate dips without anyone noticing all the time

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  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 28, 2020

.

  • Managing Director in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

I thought that mailman looked suspicious back in November..

    • 4
Jun 18, 2020

PRO TIP: Don't put "Analyst" on your email signature so you are given more respect to those that do not know you personally (outside of your group/bank). If its just says your name + "Investment Banking" + GS or MS people will listen and respond. Works like a charm.

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  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

God bless you - I am now a "Managing Director"

    • 17
Jun 18, 2020

Directors HATE this one weird trick to networking!

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    • 1
Jun 22, 2020

I actually just deleted my title out of my signature too, except now all the third party diligence questions come to me and I think I have to do more work?

    • 1
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 18, 2020

This is an easy one - a plain and simple scheme. Leave at 5pm, call in your expensed seamless dinner to the office address after your dinner time threshold, call the restaurant directly and have them make a "handwritten" change to your apt address. Its free dinner and you're not at the office. Thank me later.

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Jun 18, 2020

People were doing this at my old bank and someone got cut for it to be made an example of after accounting caught on so watch your back and be smart.

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  • Intern in IB - Restr
Jun 19, 2020

You worked for Wells Fargo? How are we supposed to trust any of your advice now lmao

    • 7
Jun 26, 2020

salty accounting losers lmao

  • VP in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020

You know they check when you scan in and out of the building vs. the nights when you order Seamless? Like, it's automated and red flags are brought up to reviewers. A bunch of people got caught at WF I think for doing stuff like this, as well as other schemes like handwritten taxi receipts. Really not worth testing the waters on this one.

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    • 1
Jun 19, 2020

Yes, WF SF had half of their group demolished bc of this. The group is in the shitter now because everyone left.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 1
Jun 21, 2020

Good thing that they dont make you scan out of my bank - only in :)

    • 2
Jun 19, 2020

It's crazy how greedy people will be - you're making PS100k+ and still want to trick your bank into paying for your dinner.. c'mon

    • 2
    • 1
Jun 19, 2020

Honestly, it's not crazy people would try this. Many people look at free dinner as one of the perks of the job. You don't (usually) get 3 dinner allowances if you're crushed til 6 AM. Is it a big deal if you get out early and order the free meal? Really?

What's crazy is how much banking has changed - how much more margin pressure banks are under - that they even care about this stuff. It's squabbling over pennies. It's why all-in analyst comp basically hasn't increased since 2006 (FYI that's 14 years)

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  • Associate 1 in IB - DCM
Jun 21, 2020

Trying to get free dinner when you work 12hrs a day for a bank that offers free dinner after a certain time just to keep you in the office to work longer... This is morally justified for sure

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  • Analyst 1 in IB - DCM
Jun 20, 2020

Don't do this. Seriously, just don't. Its not worth getting fired because you are too cheap to cough up $15 for dinner. If you really want dinner, work until 8 every night on a side project if you finish your work

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  • Intern in IB - Ind
Jun 18, 2020

Im not even fully in banking, but you guys are complete and utter savages. Excited to be part of the tribe. Oo Oo Ah Ah.

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    • 16
Jun 19, 2020

..

  • Intern in IB - Ind
Jun 19, 2020

a good hack is to put on red light mode on your screen - saves your eyes and prevents headaches. turn off when doing colour related shit like ppts and charts etc but otherwise good to leave it on.

    • 8
Jun 19, 2020

parlay this with some blue light glasses and your eyes will thank you forever.

Array

Jun 19, 2020

If you do this consistently, try turning it off at night if you have hours of edits dumped on you at ~11 PM. You'll notice a different and feel much more awake.

Array

    • 1
Jun 19, 2020

Use a less crowded floor's bathroom when going #2

    • 6
Jun 19, 2020

How do I get onto that floor though when you have to have key card access? Should I steal one from the security guard? He can't fault me for stealing it as anyone would understand how important it is to take a solid shit.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 1
  • Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
Jun 19, 2020

Shit in front of the guard. Assert dominance.

    • 3
Jun 19, 2020

Especially true if you have digestive issues and the cubicles don't each have their own toilet brush

Jun 19, 2020

life hack: work hard. be nice.

    • 2
Jun 20, 2020

Hang up your coat/jacket in a closet far away from your desk and ideally far away from your group. When you are ready to leave for the day at 6 or 7pm dont log off and dont say bye. People may assume you are grabbing seamless or meeting an md down the hall. Everyone else has their jacket on their chair or in closet next to their desk so they have to make a big scene putting on their coat to leave for the day. You will avoid this and stay under the radar. Huge hack.

Jun 20, 2020

Also dont carry a bag to the office. Helps you leave more discreetly.

    • 1
Jun 20, 2020

Look at mypost below of peole still noticng. Not going to matter. Agreed that at surface level thsee make sense though

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

Jun 20, 2020

People will notice regardless when one of the talkative analysts says to the whole group that where is BAdDeadflow? He always disappears at 6.

I hate this office gossip. Know ana analyst who would disappear for dinner with his gf for an hour and everyone would constantly ask him (analysts and above) where he was during that time (even though he wasn't on any live deals or getting chased)

What a pain and how nosy of people

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 1
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020

Have gallons of water at your desk and stay hydrated

    • 1
Jun 20, 2020

some laptops shut down after no use for an hour per firm policy. use window media player and turn off volume to sneak out for a few hours at night to the local gym or socialize

    • 3
Jun 20, 2020

My VPN connection thing always logs off after 10 mins of inactivity. I hope this works so I can keep my computer on the whold eay!

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Restr
Jun 21, 2020

If it doesn't work just get a miniature treadmill for your mouse

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  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jun 20, 2020

Windows media player works like a charm!

Jun 20, 2020

So if I leave it, then my computer will not log off on its own?

yay

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

Jun 22, 2020

Golden advice. Bonus if you have a gym in your building so when someone pings you with an ASAP request, you can just pop back upstairs to fire it out and then get back to working out.

Socializing is a bit harder, but I don't care if I look like a tool with my laptop out at a bar. I'll do it so I can get back to drinking beers 10 minutes later.

Jun 22, 2020

Buy a CRU Dataport mouse jiggler, creates constant mouse activity and the computer identifies it as a regular USB mouse so no one can tell that's what you're doing

    • 1
Jun 23, 2020

just an energy setting on your PC/laptop- even without admin rights you can normally change this

Jun 20, 2020

WFH hack: change the inactivity setting on Skype from 5 mins to 60 mins

    • 1
Jun 20, 2020

100%. I do this all time lol.

Array

Jun 20, 2020

Dude, you need to switch to Away permanently. That way, no one will know you are actually online because everyone knows you cant be away for 4 days...

missing

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 3
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jun 20, 2020

Feel like this could be a bad look - dont you think ?

  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 21, 2020

Start hooking up with a younger analyst so she does all your work

    • 1
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Restr
Jun 21, 2020

Haven't tried myself but have heard of stories - any firsthand accounts anyone is willing to entertain us with?

  • Managing Director in IB-M&A
Jun 21, 2020

.

    • 1
Jun 22, 2020

More like you do all of her work for her. She knows she is in control and you desire what she has. She doesn't necessarily want whatyou have as she can get it from any other analyst or person on a dating app (like 60+ people)

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

Jun 21, 2020

Never give a definite time to completion! Even though you might think it will take you 1/2hrs to complete something, things usually take longer than expected. Just say you will provide a draft when possible!

    • 2
Jun 22, 2020

"Will have over to you shortly" is my go to

Jun 22, 2020

Exactly... I like to say what I am currently working on if its going to be prioritized too.

Jun 22, 2020

I like to throw down a "will get this to you in due course" every once in a while as well. Nice change up

  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 23, 2020

Get this to you in 15 minutes - don't worry... MD 1 day later: "can I see a draft?" You 1 day later "I actually haven't been able to get to it.."

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
  •  Jun 21, 2020

Not bad life hacks. I concur with the above comments.

Jun 21, 2020

hack 2 won't work if your MD responds while you are asleep unless you can wake up to email notifications

Jun 21, 2020

I like these

Jun 22, 2020

Be kind to your Indian outsourced helpers. Make friends with them and they will definitely make your life easier

Array

  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 22, 2020

My MD married his factset technical support rep because they talked every night.. NOT JOKING

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  • VP in IB - Gen
Jun 22, 2020

I've heard this story and know what bank you work at. Healthcare group MD, rightt

    • 1
Jun 23, 2020

That is both heartwarming yet so sad at the same time :')

Array

Jun 22, 2020

Hack 2 makes no sense. At what shop would directors give you credit for sending a late night email to indicate you are "pulling a late night." If anything, it would indicate to them that you're wildly inefficient at your job and unnecessarily compromised due to lack of sleep.

Jun 22, 2020

Be careful yes

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

  • Managing Director in IB-M&A
Jun 23, 2020

MDs are smarter than you think..

Jun 22, 2020
  • Might be obvious, but take your notes using Evernote. Having all your notes aggregated in one software platform (as opposed to taking notes in word, saving individual files for notes for each call, etc.) makes it incredibly easy to find information. The search bar in Evernote has saved me a ton of time.
  • I used to put a stapler/other item on my space bar and leave the office for an hour at night to go work out. Keeps your screen from going to screen saver. Bonus points if you leave your chair out, as if you just got up for a second and haven't come back yet.
  • Change your default text/font in Outlook to match whatever mobile software you use for email. No one will be able to tell if you are emailing from your phone or your computer.
    • 6
Jun 22, 2020

EVERNOTE is a compliance breach at my firm. Use OneNote instaed

Did this too but then MD came back after night out and saw and got pissed

You're an idiot if you don't already do this.

kryssi

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

Jun 23, 2020

True on pt3 except at least in Outlook responses with RE are from computers and Re are from mobile app (iphone or ipad). Junior bankers probably know this but MDs probably have no clue...

Jun 22, 2020

.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jun 25, 2020

I don't understand why people just post periods on this forum... makes no sense

Jun 26, 2020

It's because tthey deletd their orignial psto

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 1
Jun 23, 2020

Few thing from my time years ago:

  • Make friends with someone in IT ASAP. You can get memory upgrades, notices on firm wide system/software updates, etc.
  • Be nice to the back-office. You'd be amazed how this comes back to bite people in reviews. Also nothing to gain from being a jerk to these guys
  • Quick access toolbar for all things formatting
  • repeat the material points of any meeting with a superior or staffer in an email as a CYA
  • Associate 2 in Acct - Audit
Jun 24, 2020

You can also get larger monitors if you ask at my company - ask them!

  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 27, 2020

The best thing to do if you need something and it is out of your power is simply to talk to the right person

Jun 23, 2020

Poster: Hey you should use apps to help you out in your career!

User: Thanks a lot that sounds pretty useful, what kind of apps do you recommend?

Poster: What the fuck is wrong with you, google it you dumbass

User: Pikachu :o face

    • 6
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 23, 2020

lol

  • Associate 2 in Acct - Audit
Jun 23, 2020

wrecked

Jun 26, 2020

Poster: Trying to make amends with the user ever since haha

Jun 24, 2020

HACK - Disconnect your Directors keyboard and mouse before they come into work after a bender.. Works like a charm.

    • 2
  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 24, 2020

This comment is giving me all sorts of ideas...

  • Associate 1 in IB - Ind
Jun 25, 2020

Sticky notes on the bottom of the mouse covering the sensor works too

    • 1
Jun 24, 2020

Holy shit check out OP's SB to MS ratio.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Restr
Jun 24, 2020

wtf does that mean?

Jun 24, 2020

And I thought my ratiio was the highest on this forum

oh well

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

    • 1
Jun 24, 2020

edit: posted twice

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

    • 1
Jun 24, 2020
Comment

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

    • 1
  • VP in ER
Jun 25, 2020
Jun 25, 2020
Comment

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Jun 25, 2020
  • Analyst 3+ in IB-M&A
Jun 25, 2020
Jun 25, 2020
  • Associate 1 in IB - DCM
Jun 26, 2020