Idiotic Compliance Training
I'm forced to deal with this shit at the end of every quarter and it's just so frustrating. We have to take a series of online courses on the usual bullshit topics -- sanctioned countries, money laundering, etc. The worst part is there's a quiz at the end of each section and we have to achieve a minimum score or else we have to re-take the quiz. In total, there are about 5 or 6 modules that together take at least a couple hours to complete. This stuff doesn't even pertain to my day-to-day functions -- I and the rest of the people in my group don't have the access to defraud the firm even if we wanted to.
It's true that we are told far in advance when the courses are due and they're not difficult if you have the time to just sit there and absorb the information on each slide, but what ends up happening is we are too busy with our actual jobs to knock the training out early and we have to cram on the last day like it's college all over again. Some of us are even logging in from home to get this done. None of us even care at this point and we just click through all the slides and wing it on the quizzes. If we fail them, we just memorize the questions we got wrong and re-take them. This process takes less time than actually doing it right the first time and we end up learning nothing anyway.
So who else has to put up with this? I understand the firm's need to cover their asses, but there has to be a better way for them and for us to go about it...
Well... considering BNP Paribas got slapped with an $8.9B fine for money laundering, banks are dealing with billion dollar fines for Currency Manipulation, LIBOR Manipulation, Sub Prime Mortgages ect. Banks will do anything to try to cover their ass.
Just wait, next thing you know they are going to provide bibles to everyone's desk and have them swear to God that you will follow compliance.
And JP Morgan got fined ~2.09 billion as part of the Bernie Madoff Money laundering scheme. I forget which desk it was, but somewhere in London investing money for JPMorgan were in products linked to Madoff's performance, they knew he was a farce, and got out of those products to protect themselves, but never reported it to the broader compliance area, which may have allowed them to file suspicious activity reports on Madoff's checking accounts.
I am in compliance, so I have heard this before, training is a required part of the BSA/AML regulations, so as much of a pain as they are to take, it is required part of the regulation that all employees are trained to help identify suspicious activity and money laundering.
So you may not even deal with transactions to be able to identify money laundering, but regulators may interview random employees when conducting their independent testing and if the employee's answer to a question about BSA/Money Laundering, and they answer "I don't know what that is" that makes the Bank look bad. I am sure there is some leeway based on their role if they give an incomplete answer, but if they provide training and you answer "I don't know" the Bank covers them self and you're thrown under the bus since they have that training module you completed as a record of training.
Also, having provided training could potentially protect the bank in cases of a violation, since it could make the distinction between a willful violation (Bigger fine) versus an un-willful violation (Lower fine).
Take it from me, it kind of sucks, but there is a reason for all those training modules, and it is not to make your live's hell.
I right click and launch 2 instances of the training module. I then powerclick through to the quiz on one of them.
If there's a question I can't answer, I then click through the second instance to find it.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck, why didn't I think of this before...This is genius. Thanks for the tip.
You f*cking asshole...that is BRILLIANT. Damn.
I used to have to put up with that garbage when I was at a bank. Totally worthless busy work for the bank to cover itself with the useless regulators.
Seems like a lot of hardwork. I know the answers by now, but in this day and age you can just google the question and you have your answer served to you - or ask a member of the audience, ie: your colleagues...
Some of your colleagues take those tests home? What type of morons do you work with? Those tests take next to no time to do. I've worked on the floor for many years, and after you have taken this test for the 100th time you would hope that you would know how to get the quizz first time round without having to do the lecture. It's like your FSA exam or Series 7, if you don't pass it you can't work in the industry.
No one is ever too busy in a bank.
I completely understand why compliance does it, it's a requirement of the bank. If you fuck up, the fault is yours and the bank can cover its ass. It's legal shit.
Used to put up with that garbage at the bank all the time. Glad it's gone now.
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