Impact of banking on social life
Just finished my first year of banking and am realizing how much it has impacted my social life. I'm definitely close to the people I work with because of the sheer number of hours we spend together in the office, but am frustrated to realize that I've lost a lot of close friends during the past year because of work. Banking definitely changes people and others' perception of you (i.e. some people think you believe you're too good for them because of what you do).
Planning to finally take some time off work in a few weeks, but find it extremely difficult to plan to go somewhere with people because most of my friends are busy with work or still in school.
How do you guys cope with this?
People come and go in life. A really good friend of mine in college barely talks to me now since she is abroad. When she came back to visit it took her 3 days to text me back (mind you we are in the same city) and that was when she was leaving to go back. It suck, but it's part of life. Make new friends try new things. Good luck!
How bad is the reduction in social life? Are we talking about one weekend a month, two months, 3 months? Are you a person that expects to go out on weekdays? I'm trying to gauge my "fit and lifestyle" into the banking industry coming from a military background.
As the above poster stated friends and acquaintances come and go all the time. I like to think of it as letting go of things that you're mentally attached to (it really is mental and psychological when your finally realize it).
I'll say that this isn't unique to banking. Your friendships will ship in and out as you gain and lose common ground with people. I.E if a buddy gets married, it's less likely that yall will hangout. But when you get married, suddenly you're not a possible bad influence anymore and you'll probably hangout.
You just gotta keep on keeping on knowing that these things happen no matter what so you might as well hang with your career. It's happening to me and I work 40 hours a week. Also, one last tip. Never say no to plans. That's the easiest way to prevent this kind of thing. Of course, that assumes you have a choice.
3 Social Changes You Should be Prepared to Face Before You Transition to Banking (Originally Posted: 11/19/2012)
Ah yes, you have received your Investment Banking Analyst offer for next summer. You have accomplished the impossible. Climbed the unscalable. Out-prestiged Prestigious Pete! You are AWESOME.
Except not everyone is going to react the same way when you proudly proclaim to them that in only a few shorts months you'll be a minted banker. Indeed, some will act offender, bewildered, or ignorantly when you tell them of your triumphs.
The interaction goes something like this... New Acquaintance: "Hello John Doe, my name is Jane, so nice to meet you. What do you do?" You: Perfect! This is a chance to tell someone that I'm going to be a banker! "Well, Jane, I am in finance." Not coming off to strong, we'll wait for out new friend to prod further. New Acquaintance: "Oh, that's where the money is at, haha. What in finance specifically?" You: If I had a dime for every time someone told me that finance was where the money is... "Funny you should ask Jane, I am an investment banker and advise companies on such things as mergers & acquisitions and capital raises."
Now Jane can have one of 3 responses.
1. Why don't you do something that benefits society?
Ah yes, these can come in many shapes and sizes. In some cases, the person may be angry with you for your career choice -- you know, because by being an Excel slave, you're directly keeping down the 99%. Or the person can act very shocked in a patronizing way, as if to say "Wow, you really chose THAT over Peace Corps???".
In either of these cases, you have to put the over-aggressive tendencies you have into your pocket and appease the interlocutor. "Yeah, I know I know, but just for a few years" -- getting off Scott Free and making yourself seem like an actual good person might work here. This doesn't seem to be the place to argue with anyone, no matter your stance.
2. Wut's tht?
Depending on the circles you run in, this one is probably pretty uncommon, but it will happen. Liken investment banking to a real estate brokerage, just instead of selling houses, you sell companies or pieces of companies. You also help people to refinance companies, much like realtors can play a role in refinancing mortgages (not usually, but close enough).
The other thing to do, which requires tact (most of you lack that), is to just say you're a financial advisor and move the conversation in another direction. No one really wants to hear you describe investment banking to someone. Really, no one.
3. Can you help me break in?
Boy this one happens a lot if you're around people 1-2 years younger than you. It's kind of unbelievable, actually. For most people, this will be phrased differently, such as: "Tell me about how you got into banking", or the ubiquitous "I'd like to learn more about your firm".
At this point you, although having so far accomplished nothing as an investment banker (you haven't even started yet), have a bit of leverage. You can quickly try to figure out whether this is someone who knows what they're talking about even ever so slightly or just wasting your time and crying "investment banking" because the kid next to them in Econ 101 has a Goldman MD for a dad. If they're not wasting your time, and although you don't REALLY have the capacity to help them much, you can offer to check out their resume and push it forward once you start working.
If they are wasting your time, and don't actually know that investment banking isn't stock-picking, smile and explain that you have no clout yet, but would be happy to follow up at a later point. You won't really follow-up though, but why make things awkward. This ability will certainly come in handy later on.
What do you guys think? What sorts of responses have you received when asked the ever-popular "so wut r u doin nxt yr?" questions? Let's hear it.
Thanks for reading.
As a consultant who adds no value to greater society, I don't believe I have ever been asked the first question by anyone. Does that happen when meeting random people or what? I would think that for everyone on here, even your extended social circles don't include people who will ask such a stupid question.
Them: "How do you sleep at night?"
Me: "On a bed made of money."
-Mad Men
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/dont-ask-an-investment-banker-what-…
[quote=BTbanker]http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/dont-ask-an-investment-banker-what-…] lol i was about to post this
Them: How do you live with yourself?
Me: One day at a time....one day at a time.
When a muchacho asks me what I do, I have a straightforward answer. I'm an artiste. Instead of a canvas, I have a blank Power Point slide. Instead of a paintbrush, I have a mouse pointer. Instead of paintings and art galleries, I have bake-offs and boardrooms.
I'm in the the upper echelon of the new order. The upper crust of the people lasagna. I make the rules, amigo. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price of a cuff link.
There is not a shred of doubt that as we speak marble busts and bronze statues are being constructed of me across the world.
thought this pete guy would never come back after had a fling with WSO. now I was wrong. $20 on this guy at most a butler to the persona he is describing himself as. And his native language is Espanol indeed.
This whole approach comes across as a bit desperate and try hard. Feeling the need to work the fact that you are a banker into conversation when you haven't even gone through the christening process is just douchey. Trying to dumb it down and also subtly act as if it is not a big deal even when you view it as the majority of your identity is even more needy.
If your social / emotional IQ is up to par prior to starting a job in banking, there is no calibration necessary. Banking doesn't have to change your personality. You can still approach interactions with sincerity and a genuine interest in what the other person has to say. The one thing important to remember is that this job does not in any way make you better than anyone else; it merely compensates you for giving up more free time than others are willing to. This will open doors and likely lead to ways to be compensated more handsomely for fewer hours down the line, but never look down on those who value their free time more heavily in the short term than you do. It's a lifestyle choice and one that I fully appreciate, as does anyone who has spent a couple years giving up free time in exchange for more pay.
is it a lifestyle?
Banker's social life (Originally Posted: 05/06/2010)
http://beedeekay.com/2010/04/30/bankers-social-life/
haha, that one's pretty good.
I like "Too Big to Fail" better:
http://beedeekay.com/2010/04/23/banker-genius-2/
Ha, very funy.
Nice post
Social & Banking (Originally Posted: 04/11/2013)
Hello everyone, so on a scale of being social from 1-10 I'm about a 6. I'm a freshman finance major and I'm curios if this will effect me wanting to go into banking. For people already in the industry what do you think/feel of your less social colleagues?
You know, you can work on that shit. Buffett was an introvert when he was young, then took a Carnegie speaking course and based on How to Win Friends and Influence People. Good book. You should check it out. And read Franklins autobiography too. Specifically, the section on his 13 virtues.
If you force yourself to be outgoing more, Ive found that it becomes more natural, the more you do it. I used to be the biggest fuckup. You have no idea. Now, Im slightly less of a fuckup.
Jung said that everyone is either extroverted or introverted primarily, but secondarily, and to varying degrees, they have the other side in them. I think with willpower, you can develop either side.
What would you say your chill:pull ratio is?
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