As you can see from my old posts, this bitch literally broke me emotionally. I lapsed into depression because of her, ended up with a black eye and almost got killed because I did something to permanently drive that other dude she had fling with away from her life, it was much like love triangle (back then, I was being silly and was like "if I can't have her, I'm not going to let him have her either"). I'm sure it wasn't as painful for her because she couldn't care less. I stopped living and just started "surviving" or just trying to make it safely to grave... until recently when my friends and members of this group convinced me to start dating again and focus on things I loved. I want to thank you all for supporting me during that difficult time.
I'm in a much better emotional state right now. It's been a year almost and I've already achieved so much. I just transitioned to a function in high finance that I had always ignored because I was focusing on her bullshit too much. I attended various self-development seminars and learned so much. I got back to reading more and I have already finished 3 books in a month, all Wayne Dyer's and Sigmund Freud's though lol. I've started getting involved in healthy activities, like tennis, again, something that my depression drove me away from . I've traveled cross-country and internationally and just loved getting to know women from different backgrounds. I've discovered that every woman is beautiful, unique and has her own interesting story, something I ignored for 13 precious years of my life because I was stuck in her "tunnel vision", something I called love. I've now been seeing this amazing intelligent geologist for some time and she actually made me discover a new interest...geology of course lol. I certainly don't regret going through that phase of darkness though because if I hadn't gone through it, I probably wouldn't be where I am right now. Like they say, darkness truly implies light.
Now, I want her to know that. Why, you may ask. Because I stooped so low to have her back, I literally begged her to take me in. I lost my self-respect for her. I fought with others for her. I made her feel like a Queen when in all honesty, she belonged in the gutter. She got the satisfaction that I was suffering because of her and now I want her to know how better off I am without her and how well I've been doing. I want to put her back in her place where she truly belongs.
I know this is a little immature but it's going to be a final message and post regarding her as I'm now truly ready to put that chapter behind me.
Thanks for putting up with me.