Junior w/ BB Experience - Semi-Target Finance Major
I would appreciate any and all critiques/advice on my resume!
I am currently a Junior at a large state school semi-target and interned with a BB this past summer for their Sales team. My goal is to land a Summer Analyst position in IBD.
What do you think my shots are with a relatively low GPA. Does my work and leadership experience make up for the GPA (since its not too abysmal - though is from a non-target)? I will be networking extensively through alumni and strong family connections.
Questions:
- Should I add more to my BB experience? If so, any sugguestions? It was a sophomore internship so as you could imagine I didn't have an experience where I could really quantify my experience with #s in my resume.
- Should I quantify the results of my mock-portfolio? Or is that not something that is recommended (one of the guys I worked for said probably not).
- Should I take off my boarding school (Deerfield, Andover, etc.) from Education? I know it is not recommended to list, but I do use it for networking purposes.
Please destroy my resume I appreciate all the advice i can get.
Take the shit off about your community service. If you think your prep school has reach on WS leave on, if not take off. You definitely need to add more to your internship. What, were you the fucking Social Chair of your intern class? More technical bullets needed for IB or S&T, and qualify them. Remove second bullet, move last to second, axe fourth bullet. Honestly, I like your frat experience better than your BB. Add "Head of selection committee and talent juding for Miss Greek Swim Wear and Wet T-Shirt for Charity competitions," and you'd have a job in two seconds ; )
Oh, and, TAKE OFF THE FUCKING PERIODS ON YOUR BULLETS.
You need to come up with a better job title than Intern - Institutional Equities Group. This was a BB? You could call yourself a Summer Analyst then.
Your fourth Equities bullet is useless, take it out. All your bullets need work. It sounds like you spent all day at the office jerking off and watching CNBC.
Fraternity - List Fraternity name only on top, add treasurer next to Exec. Council
OmegaFi bullet it interesting, quantify it with real #s from your fraternity. How much more efficient were you, etc.
These bullets really need work too. First off, they all need to start with verbs. Make them shorter and to the point.
Lifeguard - if that's all you really have for the job then take it off.
Real Estate - how do you not have more than one bullet for this?
Take Office off your technical skills.
Your dates are all formatted differently. Standardize them.
June 2011 - August 2011 November 2010 - Present June 2010 - August 2010 June 2009 - August 2009 June 2008 - August 2008
Honestly, your resume is pretty shitty right now. Just looking at it I can tell the only reason you've gotten your BB and real estate experience is through a family, fraternity, or alum connection. Your resume gives me no reason to hire you.
SECFinance and StringerBell, thank you for the input. Definitely some valid points. I was already going to add the #s about the OmegaFi bullet.
It was an unpaid sophomore internship at a regional office that is mostly PWM (but still a major northeast city). I'm all for exaggerating the truth a little bit about my internship experience but I'm not going to make up a title that could easily be looked up. Do kids actually list Summer Analysts when they were only interns? Something tells me that's not very proper...
Honestly there is a little bit of truth to that CNBC comment- it was a sophomore internship aka a lot of grunt work entailed that isn't for the resume. Also two guys from the sales desk helped me write some of these bullets so I know they're not complete shit.
How would you guys make them better for IB or S&T without exaggerating them too much?
Haha I wasn't sure if I should add the fifth bullet or not but one of the junior sales desk guys suggested possibly putting it on "because it showed leadership blah blah".
I appreciate your advice and honesty but I'd have to disagree with your opinion that my resume is "shit". I know it definitely needs some work (why I posted it) but I've been told by career counselors, prospective employers, and proffesors it's quite solid.
Also, I checked your background kid - you're a sophomore in college so I don't think you really have much ground to exactly say I have "no reason to be hired".
And yes I did receive both of my internships because of family connections and alumni networking. Hate it or love it many people are blessed to have connections through family and friends. There is no reason for me not take advantage of that and tap into my both of my school's alumni network
Thanks for the comments though. If anyone else had any opinions please I'd love to hear them.
I will redraft my resume shortly and repost it.
I would contact someone you were somewhat close to during your internship and ask them personally then. But yes, most people use Summer Analyst. It's basically what you are, I think it's uniformly accepted.
Hey, if that's what you did that's what you did. Everyone has those experiences. If you can't expand on your bullets too much it's fine, I was just letting you know what they came off as for me. I'm not sure how to expand on them without knowing exactly what you did.
I would say that in comparison to what you're going up against your resume is pretty bad. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but that's what I think. We can sit here and have a pissing match about it if you want, but that won't change anything on your resume. I think you have a great starting point. It needs work is all. The general makeup of your resume can be ignored if your bullets are a little stronger. Work with your past supervisors or whoever to try to make them stand on their own a little more.
Also, I'm a junior at a target with a higher GPA than you so there's no need to talk down to me like that. :) It's not too hard to get into the mind of an interviewer and look at a resume from their point of view.
I'm not hating on your network, I think it's fantastic that you have a great network and you should by all means use it to your advantage. However, everything about your resume just screams "I got my positions through my dad and rich prep school alumni". You have a low GPA from a non-target, list a prep school on your resume, and magically have BB and good real estate experience. And you're Greek. It's not even like you have a high GPA at school so you can get a pass on some of it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with using your network, but that is exactly how your resume came off to me. By the way, I went to a prestigious prep school in my city and am Greek also, so I'm not dissing your upbringing/decisions.
The point about not hiring you is honestly a little obvious - you haven't excelled at school and your relevant experience is not worded in a way that makes you sound like you know what you are talking about. If I'm not part of your network, I'd probably wonder how this resume got on my desk.
I was probably a little harsh in my post so I apologize, but I think most of my points still stand. You have a good starting point, but you can make your resume a lot better. Get to work!
^^^ I'll to retort that you don't know what you're talking about either. Would his resume as is probably not get past the screen, yes. But if he beefed up his bullets to convey apptitude, ability to perform the job, and more importantly know what he's going to be doing I think he'd have a shot. That would come by way of networking. If he shot someone a call (alum etc) and made a good impression, wouldn't think he'd have a big problem getting an interview.
Seriously? Busting out the target and GPA one-upper? You're a tool my friend. Not that you're insinuating superiorty (actually you are) but just as a heads up, if you do get a job, it's likely you'll have some sub-pedigree peers many of which will have better work products than you. In my group at the analyst level we have 2 Wharton grads, one U. of Nebraska grad, one Penn State grad, a Columbia grad, a U. of Eastern Ill., and Haravard grad. I also went to a non target. Bust out your pedigree if you'd like, nobody will really care but they will probably think you're a douche, even your fellow target peers. Just an FYI.
If you read my post at all you'd realize that I said if he improves his resume to do all the things you mentioned he would greatly improve his chances of getting an interview. I have no problem with him using his network to get in the door, it's an excellent advantage for him and he should use it as much as he can.
I really don't give a shit about what school he goes to. The only reason I threw that line in was because he incorrectly said that I was a sophomore so I corrected him. I'm not under the illusion that my education means I'll be ruler of the world and that my work products will better than my peers. I know there's going to be people that are better at my job than I am. Of course there's going to be people from no name schools that are really fucking good at what they do.
I don't live in the elite fortress that you seem to think I do. Just an FYI.
Humblebrag ftw. Also, you write like shit
^^ Cool story bro.
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