Most Awkward Resignation Stories

In light of the critically-acclaimed success of the awkward interview stories, I figured it might be interesting to collect some stories on the other end of the job: the resignation process.

I'll start with one of my own. When I had an offer following my FT job, I had run through multiple times what I wanted to say to my boss when I was going to resign but got caught off-guard when my former boss dumped me with a literal ton of busy work out of nowhere. Since I obviously wanted to skedaddle before having to do that shit, I figured now was the best time to tender my resignation. Unfortunately my mind blanked and I just said "Hold that thought a moment, I have to tell you something", then proceeded to tell him that while I really appreciated the opportunity I had at the company I had another offer that I couldn't refuse, then obviously still in interview-mode, proceeded with "and I can't wait to start", then fumbled further by saying "oh but I can help tie things together over the next two weeks if you want". Awkward silence from my boss followed by "Ok, well you can head out now". Whoops.

Let's hear your cringe-worthy stories.

 

When I finally got around to breaking the news to my boss, resignation letter in hand, he told me my co-worker had just quit. Even though it took me months to work up the balls to resign, I knew how it would screw them over to loose 2 people in a small office. He asked what I wanted to talk about, I said "Oh umm, nevermind." and went back to my desk. Five minutes later my boss storms in (noticeably more pissed) "Are you f**xing kidding me?"...Dude was holding my resignation letter. Whoopsy.

 
Best Response

Buddy of mine was in an IBD group of a BB ~5 years ago where one of the associates had a shitshow of an exit. Long story short:

  • Shithead sucked ass at his job from day 1
  • Got into multiple scuffles with two analysts which almost turned into fist fights
  • Showed up drunk to work at least once
  • Blew his entire signing bonus on a brand new Porsche even though he was full of debt from his MBA
  • Was ranked at the bottom of his class and received the minimum bonus ($20-$25k); they told him to start looking for another job

And this is apparently where it gets interesting...

  • Shithead blames his failings on the BB being 'racist' (he was from Switzerland and white as a snowflake in Zurich)
  • Shithead decides to take it out on the staffer (since staffer was the one who had to sit him down and lecture him every time shithead acted up)
  • Shithead stalked the staffer's Facebook and made a collage of inappropriate posts going back to his college days
  • He then pretends to be an influential woman who was offended by this dude's posts and sends flaming emails / letters to the BB's HR department threatening to make a big shitstorm in the media
  • Shithead then makes a big post on WSO about the whole thing; post goes viral, someone at the BB figures out that it was him, and his whole charade comes crashing down (the WSO post was deleted a long time ago so don't bother searching)
  • Staffer is 'acquitted' in HR court and shithead is immediately fired and the BB's legal team sends him a nice love letter asking him to shut the fuck up about the ordeal or face legal action
  • Shithead was then faced with deportation to the EU, $80k loan on the Porsche, $100k+ business school loans, no job, and a terrible reputation

Sadly, he somehow found work in the finance department of a shitty manufacturing company in Jersey and was able to stay in the U.S. According to his Linkedin he has had 3 jobs or so since this ordeal.

  • Note: certain details have been changed to preserve the privacy and anonymity of those involved in the real story, but the substance of what happened is all there
 

Let's say it wasn't correct on your part to at least give them a month to find someone else to cover your absence. Regarding your boss, he can choke on his own dick...

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 
UFOinsider:

Pissed off French people are funny :)

Last time I gave my French boss a 4 week-notice, he madly bitched (in that funny French accent) that it should be at least one month (which was only 3 days longer than 4 weeks) and used that as an excuse to delay the HR paperwork. I needed to start at another firm soon so I actually cried in his office. And yeah, he eventually let me go.

The Auto Show
 
Edmundo Braverman:

Actually putting the finishing touches on my book as we speak, and I'm finishing the last chapter on this very subject right now. Worst response from a firm when I resigned? Sue me for $14 million and force me to spend the next 13 months of my life on the run in Mexico and the Far East.

I... I think you win. And looking forward to the book, been waiting for it!

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 
D M:
Edmundo Braverman:

Actually putting the finishing touches on my book as we speak, and I'm finishing the last chapter on this very subject right now. Worst response from a firm when I resigned? Sue me for $14 million and force me to spend the next 13 months of my life on the run in Mexico and the Far East.

I... I think you win. And looking forward to the book, been waiting for it!

Already in the capable hands of Monkey editors. It's taken way too long, and this chapter was the reason. Some mistakes are hard to admit.

 
Edmundo Braverman:

Actually putting the finishing touches on my book as we speak, and I'm finishing the last chapter on this very subject right now. Worst response from a firm when I resigned? Sue me for $14 million and force me to spend the next 13 months of my life on the run in Mexico and the Far East.

sweet, can't wait!

 

Last firm told me I was leaving the best fund on Wall Street and quitting would effectively destroy my career. They almost blew up the following year and currently have about 10% of the AUM they did the day I left.

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 

those fuckers wouldn't hesitate to fire you if it suits their needs they certainly wouldn't give you a month let alone 3, and you would be gone by the end of the week. you did the right thing, tell them to fuck off

Born in hell, forged from suffering, hardened by pain.
 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/ENAR3C2mvSM

La cucaracha, la cucaracha Ya no puede caminar Porque no tiene, porque le falta Marijuana que fumar.

(The cockroach, the cockroach Now he can't go traveling Because he doesn't have, because he lacks Marijuana to smoke.)

Ya la murio la cucaracha Ya la lleven a enterrar Entre cuatro zopilotes Y un raton de sacristan.

(The cockroach just died And they carried him off to bury him Among four buzzards And the sexton's mouse.)

Las muchachas son de oro; Las casadas son de plata; y las viudas son de cobre, Y las viejas oja de lata.

(Girls are made of gold; Wives of silver; Widows are of copper, And old women merely tin.)

Winners bring a bigger bag than you do. I have a degree in meritocracy.
 

Sit dolor quia minima. Non maxime porro tempora tempore accusantium ea veritatis. Maxime quasi ab eos possimus similique sint. Tempora autem quam eum neque et placeat omnis minus. Dolorem in ut voluptates nulla reiciendis qui nihil.

Odio et provident fugiat dolorem accusantium officia animi. Inventore illum voluptatum molestiae vero aut harum libero. Dolorem eos culpa sit eum. Amet quos ut ad recusandae commodi architecto. Animi earum aut et minus ipsum beatae voluptatum.

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