Seek advice on my personal elevator pitch
Hi guys,
First, as always, thank you again for the posts and advice you offer on this website. I need your opinions and advice on my elevator pitch for the interviews:
"Hi, I am XXXX, I am half Italian half Spanish, and I am master's degree student in Finance at the London School of Economics. I hope to become an investment banking analyst in London when I graduate. Over the past few years, I have been involved in the creation of my investment club, which I managed for more 3 years and where I invested with other students in a common portfolio. I had hands-on experience in Finance, in Milan, with a first internship as an auditor at PwC and then at Amundi as an investment analyst. I am looking for a summer position in London in investment banking, where I can put my skills to work for a bank like yours and where I can learn more about the investment banking industry."
Thank you in advance and great day to you all !
It appears that you are writing to be read and not writing to be said. You have to be careful not to be too wordy because people don't listen at the same speed their brain processes what's being said. Take out every single filler and amplifying word and then piece together your narrative out loud.
Ex: Finance, Milan, PwC, Amundi, Analyst. - I interned at PwC and then got a FT analyst position at Amundi while in Milan. (And even that's not perfect but its much easier to say out loud - in an elevator)
I was a comedy writer for 3 years. You're not writing a book, you're narrating a future interaction.
The listener has these questions in mind:
Who are you? (name, current position, experience) What do you want? (opportunity seeking) Why me? (are you just pitching to the wind or have you done your research? - A manufactured script smells way different than a personalized message)
Thanks for your advice/info, I'll read it again and make it easier. I will personalize my pitch according to the bank/person in front of me (my last sentence)
bump
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