So, I have this friend who I've been trying to encourage to network. I'll call her Esperanza because I really love that word. She has overcome a lot of things already. She is a 1st generation student from a spanish speaking country. She doesn't come from a wealthy background either.
Esperanza has been working hard for a very long time since early high school. She was able to pay her way through community college and help her family out financially a bit. She has also fought through an invisible disability.
However, a lot of misfortune has befallen her. A few years ago she was car jacked. Because she lives in a racist state, she was arrested. YES, her NOT the person who did it. Of course the charges got dismissed, but it left her with a record that hunts her continuously.
Esperanza went from the community college to a top 100 private school. It's a non target, but it does have a nice alumni presence on the street. She once landed an interview with a BB for market risk from excelling at the school. Then her grandfather passed away. She emptied her savings to fly back home to her native country. She came back and couldn't afford books. Her grades suffered tremendously.
With so many things happening back to back her confidence has been shaken. With every job application she must disclose the arrest and relive that traumatizing event. Very often, having the "arrest" box checked dings her from interviews. She is 100% set on banking sigh.
So, she has all these things against her: very low self confidence (I can't even get her to network), the perception of a foreigner (a lot of people assume things when they see her), her voice (I don't hear an accent, but then again we're both from the south so sometimes I may sound a little "different" too), a low gpa (sub 3.0) but very close to being 3.0 (I tell her to round up, but she refuses to), and of course the arrest record.
Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I think that if she's honest about her situation, networking will help her get there. Can someone confirm or dispute this? I read so many triumphant stories of networking, and I would love to see hers next. So can anyone offer any advice for Esperanza?
That is EXACTLY what I thought, but she said the questions are asked in away that if you have "ever" been arrested whether it was dropped or not you have to disclose it. Maybe she's misreading, but she seemed pretty adamant about it.
Maybe she was convicted and didn't tell you?
Sorry, don't want to discourage her (or you), but I think banking is not for her, for only one reason - her low level of self confidence.
"100% set on banking", I bet she would change that atitude once she starts networking.
Anyways, good luck!
Wow. Very unfortunate story. I'm obviously in no position to help her, but good luck!
You can possible write an editorial to a local newspaper, telling her story. Perhaps it might get picked up by mainstream media. I'm sure some newspapers would love to cover the story of a hardworking immigrant who made major sacrifices to live the American Dream.
Here's what it may have said:
"Have you ever been charged with or convicted of a misdemeanor or a felony or have you engaged in behavior that resulted in mental or physical injury to person(s) or personal property?"
The low gpa will be a big hinderance. Does she still have time to improve it.
Yes, she has one more year.
won't being a minority woman help her a bit via affirmative action? at least there's a silver lining
I'm not sure if you're trolling or being serious. I'll treat this comment like you're being serious. It is a VERY serious misconception that being a minority or female equates a free pass. This is not true. The minority programs have a very high bar set. The average GPA for those programs is around a 3.5 with the bulk of applicants having higher scores and strong track records with finance. Exceptions are made in extreme cases and even then it almost always needs to be above a 3.0. Even if it's like 3.01. The best programs have a low acceptance rate. I know of one particular program that has a lower acceptance rate than her college.They also look for very confident people with leadership skills so they can mold them. She has better chances networking! Being a female minority is certainly not a silver lining for her. Especially when the people she needs to network with may potentially come across as slightly intimidating-- given her history of being discriminated against. Thanks for the comment though.
[quote=hungaroe]http://thefieldlab.blogspot.ch/2011/08/holstee-manifesto.html[/quote]
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I'm not sure if you're trolling or being serious. I'll treat this comment like you're being serious. It is a VERY serious misconception that being a minority or female equates a free pass. This is not true. The minority programs have a very high bar set. The average GPA for those programs is around a 3.5 with the bulk of applicants having higher scores and strong track records with finance. Exceptions are made in extreme cases and even then it almost always needs to be above a 3.0. Even if it's like 3.01. The best programs have a low acceptance rate. I know of one particular program that has a lower acceptance rate than her college.They also look for very confident people with leadership skills so they can mold them. She has better chances networking! Being a female minority is certainly not a silver lining for her. Especially when the people she needs to network with may potentially come across as slightly intimidating-- given her history of being discriminated against. Thanks for the comment though.
I never said it would be a free ride, just a slight boost. I still think a firm looking to expand its diversity would consider that a slight boost for her. Emphasis on word slight.
Tough but not impossible.
First and foremost. The main task is help her regain her self-steem.
Make her aware that she still has a year to improve her grades, she cannot give up yet with what one-fourth? of the race still open. She can't give up on her future just yet! imagine Usain Bolt slowing pace after 75mts... he is not going to win, unless he keeps pushing. Well the same applies when you have to pull even harder.
Make her aware of all the challenges she has overcome. Well, this should encourage her, more than drown her. As a great author pens it, we cannot avoid pain, it is natural, but we can avoid suffering. It is how we deal with it.
Make efforts to help her excersise, eat healthy, go outside, meet people, etc. Print this in big format, have her read it through carefully, she can highlight what she finds interesting and hang it where she can see it at least five million times a day: http://thefieldlab.blogspot.ch/2011/08/holstee-manifesto.html
Then, make her wirte her strengths, personal traits etc. on a blank piece of paper. Also what she enjoys, what she likes. Open, not focused. Have her read that list every morning and every afternoon.
Third, have her make small goals for the next week, next two weeks and next month or two. Small things, like catch up with assignature xyz, call xyz I wanted to talk to, redo my resume... start with venial tasks, to see improvement and achieving small things will help her gain confidence for larges projects to come.
Second, let's work on the banking side. try to make her refelct on why she wants to go into banking. Not as a challenging her decision, just exploring what drives her.
Step 2, from the list above on strengths, which of these personal/academic/professional traits reinforces the drivers. May sound absurd, it helps. It can be that certain traits or thnigs she enjoy point to other carreers, why not? encourage her to give them an unbiased thought.
Then, if still wlling to go to banking, we need a plan. Is it realistic to apply now, or does she need more time to prepare, i.e. emotionally, mentally and grades, networking etc.? should we rather go first for an internship? look at ideas perhaps apart from mainstream, like a stint in a different time (not summer intern, where tons of people apply), other smaller cities, mid-market, boutique, even things that might bring her closer like commodities house, big 4 or smaller trading house.
Help her prepae a killer CV and gerat motivation letters. How about talking to the recruiting service at her school, they may have a couple of good ideas how to approach the issues you mention, in a professional/positive light and not on an emotional/failure light as of perhaps Esperanza has been setting them on the interviews.
Check which institutions might be more "favourable" to her. Good point, latin america is undergoing a good time, so some firms might consider this specially attractive.
check alumni, networking tips from this site or friends. I agree, going through the normal filter is going to be tougher, so she needs to find an alternative/lateral way to get the attention of somebody who can help. Have her go to events, presentations, etc.
Get a couple of good books. I don't know if Victor Frankl's is the right one at this stage, the message is the right one: if you have a why, you can bear almost every how (F.N). It helps you see things in perspective, and reassess your mindset.
Sorry, I have to go to a meeting, but will try to comeback later. In the meantime, good luck, you are a great pal, and freinds are great when celebrating, but vital when going through difficult times. Keep on the spirit and let's see if we get savvy cousel from our fellowmonkeys
+1000 silver bananas
"top 100" school means nothing...top 20 is all that matters.
I don't think she'd even like banking.
You could've asked me in person
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