I am just wondering whether you all have friends (outside of the bank) or an SO working these hours? I see indication of analysts dating, but am unsure whether this is real or just people self projecting an image of themself that they want. I mean where is the time to develop serious friends/relationships? Do you have any strategies? College kid that is simply curious about this.
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bumping this thread. If my concerns are silly let me know.
Every week isn't 100 hours...
Relationships are what you make of it. I guarantee you can find 10 - 15 minutes to call someone close to you every single day no matter what your hours.
I always make it a point to text my parents, call my SO, and stay updated with my friends.
Supporting a long-term relationships with an SO can be difficult if they're not okay with your hours/WL balance--I have been with my SO, however, for 7 years now and she 100% understands my priorities.
I would like to echo this. I personally haven't worked in IB.... yet, but from the people that I've talked to in the industry who have been successful at holding together serious relationships or marriages, it's a matter of prioritization. When you finally have an hour or two of free time, are you going to spend it getting drinks and socializing, or are you going to go home or plan a dinner/date with your SO/wife/husband?
By saying "call your SO" are you implying you don't even have time to have dinner with your SO? ...
I have dinner with her on the weekends. Usually don't get home until 11
I would say the worst part is not necessarily the hours but the unpredictability of the work. Just as the previous comment mentioned, you will always be able to make time but what strains relationships is cancelling on your friends/SO. Good friends will understand, and so will a supportive SO. Your plans will soon become last minute rather than planned far in advance. Depending on the type of work on your plate you can sometimes go out for dinner with your SO and go back to work after, you will just sacrifice some sleep for such plans.
THIS! Only takes 3-4 times in a row of cancelling plans to start not getting included. The toughest part for me was maintaining relationships with non-finance friends because they simply don't understand why I can't make an 8pm dinner friday when they've been out of work since 1pm thanks to "summer fridays".
So I'm understanding how short term plans (i.e. weekend trip) could get cancelled but what about longer vacations? Like materially what happens if you go away for 4-5 days on a vacation (assuming of course VP or higher). Like does that mean lower bonus or would you actually get fired???
You gotta make time dude. Relationships (family, friends, dating, etc) sometimes get undervalued when we spend most of our time slaving away, but if you really think about it, not many people are on their deathbed wishing they put in more time at the office.
Good call. Just gotta make time
And how does one make time working 80-100 hour work weeks?
The same way you make time to work 100 hours a week is the same way you make time to do 105 hours a week including relationship time.
I really think its a mix of making small sacrifices of personal convenience and just actually finding time whenever you can.
This post reminds me of another post that asked about how to fit in gym time, and another post that asked about how to manage the lack of sleep, and another that asked about making time for family.
For every post like this, there are commenters saying (correctly) that you'll have time for X if you make time for X.
That's true for each one, but you can't have it all. You've got to decide that some of the following is going to suffer for 1-2 years: family, relationship, gym, social life, sleep. Sooner you decide, the happier you'll be.
Each individual can decide on his own how to prioritize. For me, I was pretty happy putting sleep first (i.e. any free time I had, I caught up on sleep) and gym second. My thinking was, I could socialize but I wouldn't enjoy it anyways if I'm tired and unhealthy. So I went without a social life for about 12-18 months. And even with the gym as second priority, I was lucky to go even once a week. But focusing on the top couple of things made life a lot less stressful 24/7 and I aged at a normal rate instead of looking 35 by the end of it like so many analysts do.
If relationship is near the top of your list that's fine. But be realistic and decide what you're going to give up in return.
First off, hours are exaggerated. Will you work 100 hour weeks, sure/maybe - I am way older than protected weekends. I don’t know how that is.
My take as a young analyst was make sure to have fun, even if it meant little sleep. You are in your 20s once so don’t ruin that. I’d work till midnight and then go out for an hour or two on many weeknights. Plenty of people do that. IB analysts don’t have to be in early (don’t take this as gospel until you’ve established yourself and know your group please).
You will often have to cancel plans, but at least in NYC you know so many people in the same situation that it’s forgiveable. Build a good crew and have a focus on getting out several nights a week. It makes the grind much easier.
Relationships are harder but I met my wife of 10+ year as an IB analyst. I’d meet her for dinner at 10pm and then go back around midnight to finish my work. You can game the system if you are efficient and prioritize.
It is absolutely possible to do both (caveat) if you manage your time appropriately. If you're giving time to your SO, friends, or kids - this will sometimes mean sacrificing time you've allotted for yourself.
My two cents - Being you're in college, I'm not sure you need to worry about this now. Not that you shouldn't be preemptive, but striking the right balance between personal and professional obligations is more trial and error than conscious thought.
You will get into your job, and shift your focus between professional and personal obligations many times over - getting the ratio wrong each time. After a while of crashing into the walls and being unhappy, you'll adapt and figure out the right balance to keep a happy life.
I will be honest there's a part of me that's wondering how many hours is simply too much to have a semi- normal life. Like I don't mind working hard but I'm still trying to figure out what the difference between hard and suicidal is at this point.
Investment bankers aren't normal people. If you want to be normal this isn't for you.
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