Will someone review my stock pitch

Hi, I have made a short 2 page pitch that I would like someone with experience in the industry to review. I’m planning to reach out to people at funds to network and was planning to include a pitch. I edited a pitch upon suggestions by someone but I’m looking for more people to review it and let me know how to improve it. Thanks

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Hey I’ve reached my daily limit for Pms so I can’t message you. But do you have any email i can send it to? (You can pm me) I’m more comfortable sharing it that way than just putting it out here on a file sharing thing. Thanks

 

Hey I’ve reached my daily limit for Pms so I can’t message you. But do you have any email i can send it to? (You can pm me) I’m more comfortable sharing it that way than just putting it out here on a file sharing thing. Thanks

 
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Yeah sorry, it doesn't read well, I typed it off on my phone. I mean that if I struck up a warm relationship through reaching out to someone and sharing my pitch it almost always required sharing a few more theses rather quickly after initial contact before I got tangible benefits from that relationship (like referrals, mentorship, networking invitations, or a job). So it pays to have around three theses which you keep up to date so that you can quickly deliver another two theses after initial contact should you need to. It pays also for these to be in different industries.

Finally, I always tried to make a thesis about a company my target had in their portfolio if I could. I got to my current job by reaching out to my manager about a company he had a publicly published thesis on, sharing my own, and asking about a risk he hadn't covered in depth which I was struggling to account for. This got us some level of assumed rapport right from the get-go. Three theses and six months later I had a job (I was working elsewhere so the timeline is stretched).

EDIT: by thesis I mean stock pitch. At my work we always say "investment thesis" as we invest in all sorts of assets besides stocks and I habitually say thesis now, apologies if it reads a bit weird because of it.

 

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