Women in the Workplace: How do you Guys Deal?

surferdude867's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,479

Hello friends,

I've had major issues with the opposite sex since entering the workforce. I wanted to share some of these problems and see if anyone can provide some guidance.

Scene 1:

For example, a while back this new girl started at the office; Absolute Bombshell, 10/10 drop dead gorgeous knockout. She would regularly come by my desk and flirt with me, drop by my neighbors desk to chat, all the while staring at me and smiling.

I saw her at the Xmas party and she got really excited and waved me over. In my head I'm thinking "I'm taking this girl down tonight." We start chatting, all the while there is this ~6 foot 5, 230 lb dude hovering over us. So I ask him "Hey man who are you?" Answer: "I'm her fiance."

Whoops. Naturally I make my exit. A week later we're sent to New York together. We exchange cell phone numbers so we can stay in contact while we're there. She wants to go see the tree in Times Square, but after she wants me to go back to her hotel room with her. I decline because that's not how I roll. When we get back to our home office, I'm called into a meeting with HR saying I need to undergo sensitivity training - apparently "someone in the office" says I'm inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

Great...

Scene 2:

Aside from Absolute Bombshell, there are 2 other girls in my office that seem to be attracted to me. We'll call them Grumpy, and Bashful.

They are friends with one another, however when one of them sees me speaking to another one of the group, or ESPECIALLY with Absolute Bombshell, I get nasty looks and sometimes hear rumors about me floating around the office. One of them has a brother who is 4 levels above me in the org chart, is well liked throughout the company, and now obviously despises me.

I try to keep things professional, however the girls are aggressive. This is a delicate situation.

At an after work event one day, we've all been drinking, and we're talking about our respective neighborhoods. So I ask, "Grumpy, what neighbourhood do you live in?" she gives me a dead stare and says: "Why Surferdude867, are you going to come over?"

One of the other girls laughs and I just stare back in silence. Grumpy sees me chatting up another girl later that evening, and when I go to say goodbye, she gives me quite possibly the most venomous look I've ever seen. Unfortunately, Grump is also my on the job "mentor," and is none too enthused about speaking to me and helping me out on a daily basis. My job is now exponentially more difficult.

Wonderful...

Scene 3:

At a similar event I'm getting a drink from the bar, when Bashful starts talking to me. I actually really enjoy talking with Bashful, she's very funny and I find her very pleasant to speak with. Unfortunately I don't realize that she's interested in more than just talking, because I ask "How is your boyfriend these days Bashful?"

Whoops.

Bashful turns bright red, gets visibly angry, starts speaking incredibly fast and incoherently, and then walks away quickly. The rest of the evening is VERY uncomfortable as she is either glaring at me with a venomous look on her face, or purposely avoiding eye contact.

Bashful's boyfriend, 1 level above me in the company, now dislikes me as well.

More enemies...

Scene 4:

After being promoted my new boss is female (side note: Super pretty and friendly). Things are going good until one day I ask her "Boss, do you ever get to work from home?" A group conversations starts about the merits of working from home or not, and 5 minutes after I'm called into a room for a private meeting with my boss. Boss: "Surferdude867, It seems to me that you're becoming a Challenger, constantly questioning authority and I don't want this to hinder you come promotion time." Me: "Woah woah woah, first of all what's a challenger, and second what have I done to give you this impression?"

Apparently she didn't like how I disrupted the group harmony when I asked about working from home. I try to explain my reasoning, but it's clearly not getting through... So I change tactics, and immediately apologize: "My apologies boss, you're 100% correct. In fact, THANK YOU for pointing that out to me. I'll do my best to make sure that never happens again but if it does please just let me know because I'm absolutely not questioning your authority."

Her face changes, and she starts to cry a little bit, and thanks me for understanding. I see her walking down the street later, and when she sees me she starts to skip, and her face lights up as she says hello - it's almost like she's walking on a cloud. I'm a little awestruck and dumbfounded, but I nod and keep walking.

The rest of my time with this manager is completely bi-polar. Sometimes things are great, and other times things are unbelievably terrible, and I have ZERO clue why. I will literally say the exact same thing on two different occasions and get two completely different responses.

Lots of fun...

Scene 5:

My old boss is promoted, and I get a new boss, also female (not attractive). Our first meeting: "Hey Surferdude867, this is my first time in management, and I was in your role just 2 years ago. I know everything that you're going through so just go ahead and tell me what's working and what isn't.

Sweet I think, she gets it. So I tell her 99% of things are great, but this one thing isn't going so well, but it's no big deal.

"Oh no" she says, "that 1% needs to be fixed immediately, that's not good at all." I explain to her that its really not a problem, the old manager and I dealt with it, no need to worry. "That's a terrible attitude" she retorts "Don't YOU want to be the one to fix the problem and have that sense of satisfaction?"

We go back and forth like this for 5 minutes or so until eventually I get frustrated and think screw it, I tell her "you're right, let's move on." The next day, a company wide re-org starts, so I ask her "New Boss, am I getting a new VP?" New Boss says "I don't know."

This is important and I need to know now, so I ask my director. The director tells me that our department is almost entirely unaffected, and everyone will roll up to their current VPs. I go and report back to my new boss this information.

The next day, my boss's laptop is being used to show the powerpoint preso. she gets an e-mail during that pops up with the title "Surferdude867 - Final Warning." 60 people in the room and 200 internationally see this. Several heads turn in my direction, and I know that I'm fucked.

I e-mail New Boss "Is there anything that I should know?" New boss "No that was a mistake, it's just a follow up from your previous manager." I see.................

3 hours later, I'm pulled into a room with New Boss, Old Boss, and 2 HR members. I'm presented with a letter that says: "During our first one on one Surferdude867 became aggressive to the point of pushing his chair away, turning red and using inappropriate language. Furthermore, he decided to go over my head to get information and then proceeded to publicly embarrass me when I didn't know the answer to his question immediately. He ran back to my desk once he found it who his new VP would be, and then started flailing his hands in the air and yelling to draw attention to himself."

They reference the previous meeting I had because of Absolute Bombshell so I'm fucked.

The letter is 3 pages long and I refuse to sign it. They tell me "Surferdude867 the problem is you're just not internalizing what she's feeling."

.. WTF does that mean?

The next meeting I have with her, she tells me that even though I didn't sign the letter, I'm bound by the terms stated. I'm looking away but I catch her smirk and chuckle a little as she says it... She screwed me on purpose.

4 weeks later, despise being ranked number 1 in my division based on my performance, I get a 0 on my performance review.

Hell hath no fury gentleman.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I've NEVER had an issue with a male boss, or really even with a male colleague.

When there is a problem, the bosses say "Surferdude867 this is a problem, fix it." and one of two things happen:

1. "Boss you're right, it's done." 3 days later we meet again - "Boss I fixed the problem" Boss responds "Good job Surferdude867, now let's move on."

Or

2. "Boss you're wrong, and this is why" 3 days later we meet again - "Surferdude867 you were right it was my mistake, now let's move on.

Even with TeaBag, the gay recruiter who would hit on me discreetly (and sometimes openly) from time to time, he understood that we were in a professional environment and feelings did not enter into the equation.

So I ask you, how do you deal with women in the workplace? Because I have no clue.

Comments (134)

Dec 23, 2014

Cool fake story bro

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Dec 23, 2014
adapt or die:

Cool fake story bro

Sorry, I should have put a disclaimer in the title: This thread is for non virgins only.

I actually considered embellishing this post, but clearly it doesn't require anything extra.

Thanks for the vindication.

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Dec 23, 2014
surferdude867:
adapt or die:

Cool fake story bro

Sorry, I should have put a disclaimer in the title: This thread is for non virgins only.

I actually considered embellishing this post, but clearly it doesn't require anything extra.

Thanks for the vindication.

I see, so I'm a virgin because you post ridiculous rants online about your professional sexual frustration / inability to communicate with women.

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Dec 23, 2014

1) You need to work on handling people, "How to win friends and influence people." 2) Don't shit where you eat, why are you so "chummy" (@"Flake") with your female coworkers outside of work? What good can come from it?

Dec 23, 2014
ArcherVice:

1) You need to work on handling people, "How to win friends and influence people." 2) Don't shit where you eat, why are you so "chummy" (@Flake) with your female coworkers outside of work? What good can come from it?

What a lame response.

1. The title of this thread literally asks for help dealing with women in the workplace, and you say "you need to work on handling people," recommend a nearly century old book that, while somewhat helpful for dealing with normal business relationships and husband/wife scenarios, has almost zero relevance when talking about asymmetric workplace romances.

2. While these events may have occurred outside of the office, they are still technically work events. Everything I mentioned happened at a company sponsored event that was essentially mandatory.

Next

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Dec 23, 2014

Don't give me your shit. If everyone in your office is viewing you as an asshole, odds are you aren't just being perceived incorrectly with "Bashful", "Grumpy" or "Bombshell." Three brothers, two bosses, three co-workers and HR all share the same opinion. Human nature is human nature, extrapolate and fill in the blanks for any shortcomings in that book.

"Technically work events", that's a cop out, no work event or related event requires you to flirt with those women. Even your own admissions are rife with you "trying to explain things", which basically translates into you being confrontational and argumentative. What you seem to not get, your boss asked you to fix the "1%" and you proceed to argue about it. That's not your position or role but you've somehow convinced yourself that your opinion on an end product or your "marching orders" matters. You've been asked to do something, do it, if you need direction show how you were going to do it and ask for their input on your plan which opens the door for how they want it done and makes you come across as someone trying to tackle a problem. The goal is to be the person they lean on, not the person they feel they have to go ten rounds with to fix a powerpoint. If you have been perceived as negatively as you say it means, 1) you're being argumentative when you shouldn't and 2) you don't realize how you're coming across when you are "explaining" your side of it. Kind of like your bullshit response to me above :-)

Read the book or don't, but ultimately you are to blame for these tribulations, not "women in the workplace." Good will tends to run on momentum, first impressions, gossip and leftover feelings from your arguments will attach a stigma to your name that leads to your current predicament. I can also tell you don't understand "the game", perceptions matter and taking the attitude of "despite being ranked number 1 in my division based on my performance, I get a 0 on my performance review." You're the type of person thinking soft skills are bullshit and immaterial for doing your job, which is true in principle but you're focusing on the trees not the forest.

Dec 24, 2014

Don't even bring me into this because there is no way I'm reading these memoirs of a social retard. I saw software sales somewhere and that alone was enough to tell me this is a nobody that no one here should give a fuck about. /thread

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Dec 24, 2014
Flake:

Don't even bring me into this because there is no way I'm reading these memoirs of a social retard. I saw software sales somewhere and that alone was enough to tell me this is a nobody that no one here should give a fuck about. /thread

Lol what a ridiculous comment - you immediately look at the "prestige" level of someone's job when discussing something completely divorced from the nature of their work.

From now on when someone says "I work in banking," I'll know that they are an expert on models, but it's guaranteed they've never touched one in real life.

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Dec 24, 2014

Pretty much.

Dec 23, 2014

Double post. Sorry!

Dec 23, 2014

I don't think these stories are far fetched.

First, I recommend the OP reflect on what happened and see if he missed out on some important details somewhere.

second, damage control. Get transferred to another dept or switch companies.

Finally, about the women. There are some who have trouble differentiating personal stuff from professional stuff. I don't know why. Maybe they want to be treated "like a lady" but still be "equal". God knows.
My recommendation is to treat your women coworkers as clients: you want to get along well but never get too comfortable - coz that will most certainly come back to bite you when you least expect it.

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Dec 23, 2014
MBA_Junkie:

I don't think these stories are far fetched.

First, I recommend the OP reflect on what happened and see if he missed out on some important details somewhere.

second, damage control. Get transferred to another dept or switch companies.

Finally, about the women. There are some who have trouble differentiating personal stuff from professional stuff. I don't know why. Maybe they want to be treated "like a lady" but still be "equal". God knows.

My recommendation is to treat your women coworkers as clients: you want to get along well but never get too comfortable - coz that will most certainly come back to bite you when you least expect it.

Thanks for the response.

I spoke with one of my previous managers about this. He said for my part, I can come across as abrasive because I'm intelligent and confident so that may have rubbed one manager the wrong way, but realistically there isn't much I can do because women are difficult to deal with in general, and specifically when it comes to questions of power. He had had a similar experience with a female boss in the past.

Looking at them as clients is probably the best way to go about it, thank you for the insight.

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Dec 23, 2014

Not that I'm questioning your story, but we are only hearing (reading) one side of it.

Dec 23, 2014
TwoThrones:

Not that I'm questioning your story, but we are only hearing (reading) one side of it.

There are certainly 2 sides to every story, but for the sake of this thread just assume everything I said is absolutely true.

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Dec 23, 2014

Great story on how to get canned.

Focus on work and no ass. Fear HR like the wrath of God because those clowns live to ruin productive people's lives.

Keep your dick in your pants.

Dec 23, 2014
TNA:

Great story on how to get canned.

Focus on work and no ass. Fear HR like the wrath of God because those clowns live to ruin productive people's lives.

Keep your dick in your pants.

For the most part I was focusing on work and did keep my dick in my pants. There was one situation here where I considered crossing the line, but quickly backed off when it became obvious it was a no-win situation.

You added almost zero value. The questions here are obviously "How do you deal with girls who are attracted to you and interested in more than a simple working relationship, when you don't share the same feelings?" and "How do you deal with women who are governed by emotions rather than logic and reason in the workplace?"

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Dec 23, 2014

Do you work at Walmart or something?

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Dec 23, 2014
cheesebeans:

Do you work at Walmart or something?

F500 software company

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Dec 23, 2014
surferdude867:

F500 software company

Oh so you're a nerd who clearly doesn't know how to talk to women and are probably misreading all of these females being 'attracted to you'?

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Dec 24, 2014
cheesebeans:

Do you work at Walmart or something?

Sorry but I got to laugh to this one.

Dec 24, 2014
cheesebeans:

Do you work at Walmart or something?

Greeter?

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken -Late great Col. Sanders

Dec 24, 2014
Winning Since 1776:
cheesebeans:

Do you work at Walmart or something?

Greeter?

Why would "an athletic Brad Pitt" lower himself to that level, show some respect /s

Incoming Ash Ketchum, Pokemon Master
Literally a problem, solve for both X and Y, please and thank you.
Hugh Myron: "Are there any guides on here for getting a top girlfriend? Think banker/lawyer/doctor. I really don't want to go mid-tier"

Dec 23, 2014

Working with women is tough. I use to work at a majority women firm before I quit. It drove me crazy.

From my experience, I noticed that women above me really wanted total control of me. Do whatever they say and do not seek anyone else's advice. Their mentality is, I worked hard to get up here and you should respect my decisions... I am your superior. I always got shit and almost got canned for butting heads with a manager that was clearly wrong on an approach she wanted to use for our project.

I have come to the conclusion that I honestly do not have the personality to work with women unless they are chill. They interpret my actions the wrong manner, as someone said they have a difficult time judging the difference between personal and professional. If you have a headstrong and confident personality, I feel like they like to make life more difficult for you.

I eventually got around things by gaining support from my male managers. He literally saved my ass from being fired. Plus, I was also top of my department. Scored 4/5, although the women gave me the lowest scores saying I was difficult to work with.

My suggestion is to seek a firm with a different culture if that is an option. One that may be more male dominant. Some firms make it an emphasis to hire more women than men as my older firm was. Your workplace sounds stressful as hell if you deal with this on a daily basis. You should not be putting up with this bullshit.

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Dec 23, 2014
XSX82:

Working with women is tough. I use to work at a majority women firm before I quit. It drove me crazy.

From my experience, I noticed that women above me really wanted total control of me. Do whatever they say and do not seek anyone else's advice. Their mentality is, I worked hard to get up here and you should respect my decisions... I am your superior. I always got shit and almost got canned for butting heads with a manager that was clearly wrong on an approach she wanted to use for our project.

I have come to the conclusion that I honestly do not have the personality to work with women unless they are chill. They interpret my actions the wrong manner, as someone said they have a difficult time judging the difference between personal and professional. If you have a headstrong and confident personality, I feel like they like to make life more difficult for you.

I eventually got around things by gaining support from my male managers. He literally saved my ass from being fired. Plus, I was also top of my department. Scored 4/5, although the women gave me the lowest scores saying I was difficult to work with.

My suggestion is to seek a firm with a different culture if that is an option. One that may be more male dominant. Some firms make it an emphasis to hire more women than men as my older firm was.

Thank God someone lacking a vagina in the thread.

I had exactly the same the experience at my company and recently left.

I was wondering if I encountered a stereotype that happened to be true, or if it was just a small group of women that I encountered at my firm.

I was in a department where all of the direct managers as well as the director were female; it was complete insanity. For a time I considered the possibility that I was at fault, however the more I spoke with my co-workers (men AND women), the more I realized that it is honestly difficult to deal with women in power.

I really appreciate your input. It sounds like even though I am not the problem, it is my problem.

Does anyone else have anything worthwhile to say?

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Dec 23, 2014
surferdude867:

I really appreciate your input. It sounds like even though I am not the problem, it is my problem.

I would not go as far to say that. You are the problem to a certain degree but it does not seem like you mesh with the office's culture. You don't want to change the way you work, you need to find places that will accept your personality and let you grow.

Someone mentioned on here that they seek to work all white males. I currently work at an all male office and its fun as hell. It is like a fraternity and I do not have to watch what I say. Although, if I transition to firm with women in it, it will take me time to adjust to socially acceptable cues.

If you get stuck in this position again... sit down, shut up, be professional and just listen to what they say. Unfortunately, men have been turn into a bunch of pussies through this feminism shit. I honestly do not respect people that expect me to listen to their command just because they made it to manager or VP because they worked 8 years but are still dumb as shit. However, for your own professional and long term goals, you must hide this and kiss ass. Unfortunately, this is how large, hierarchical organizations work.

Dec 23, 2014
XSX82:

From my experience, I noticed that women above me really wanted total control of me. Do whatever they say and do not seek anyone else's advice. Their mentality is, I worked hard to get up here and you should respect my decisions... I am your superior

Spot on.

Dec 23, 2014
Cruncharoo:
XSX82:

From my experience, I noticed that women above me really wanted total control of me. Do whatever they say and do not seek anyone else's advice. Their mentality is, I worked hard to get up here and you should respect my decisions... I am your superior

Spot on.

agreed..

Dec 23, 2014

Tl;dr

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Dec 23, 2014
vik2000:

Tl;dr

Thanks for your input.

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Dec 23, 2014

chicks cant get enough of the OP it seems.

classic!

Dec 23, 2014

take down the bombshell then tell her fiance so that he can knock you out

Dec 23, 2014

It sounds like you work on a television show. What industry do you work in that there are not only so many women but so many hot women at your office? I've worked in finance for almost 20 years and it's so male dominated that I've probably worked with about 5 really attractive females. And they were bulldogs who would out drink and out curse most men and they probably would have strapped it on and done the fucking if you ever got them in the sack.

If this is all true, just leave your company. Sounds like a weird situation. And once you get another job, fuck as many of the girls at your soon to be old company as possible. Anally.

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Dec 23, 2014
Dingdong08:

What industry do you work in that there are not only so many women but so many hot women at your office?

You know how the software industry is notorious for having boat loads of attractive women in their ranks. Guys like the OP are pretty rare, socially awkward, can't communicate with women, coder types...

Dec 23, 2014
adapt or die:
Dingdong08:

What industry do you work in that there are not only so many women but so many hot women at your office?

You know how the software industry is notorious for having boat loads of attractive women in their ranks. Guys like the OP are pretty rare, socially awkward, can't communicate with women, coder types...

May as well repost this:

Or I work in software sales, am a golden gloves boxing champ and apparently a really good looking guy (although I don't see anything special when I look in the mirror).

The amount and intensity of the haters on this site is actually hilarious.

If anyone here thinks this story is so unlikely that they need to immediately start attacking me then I seriously feel sorry for you - your life is truly sad.

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Dec 23, 2014
adapt or die:
Dingdong08:

What industry do you work in that there are not only so many women but so many hot women at your office?

You know how the software industry is notorious for having boat loads of attractive women in their ranks. Guys like the OP are pretty rare, socially awkward, can't communicate with women, coder types...

I was picturing the fashion industry like the show Ugly Betty. Hot chicks constantly hitting on him, gay dudes making the move, sitcom material.

Dec 23, 2014
Dingdong08:

It sounds like you work on a television show. What industry do you work in that there are not only so many women but so many hot women at your office? I've worked in finance for almost 20 years and it's so male dominated that I've probably worked with about 5 really attractive females. And they were bulldogs who would out drink and out curse most men and they probably would have strapped it on and done the fucking if you ever got them in the sack.

If this is all true, just leave your company. Sounds like a weird situation. And once you get another job, fuck as many of the girls at your soon to be old company as possible. Anally.

I work in software sales (think LinkedIn/Salesforce/Oracle). The engineering side of the company is overwhelmingly male, however the sales side has somthing like a 60/40 male/female split.

It's a client facing role so the majority of women who succeed are attractive. There's also a massive push to hire more women due to progressive policies, so yeah.

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Dec 23, 2014

So every woman you work with totally wants you..........Keep dreaming

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Dec 23, 2014

All these smokeshows at the "software company" are trying to fuck OP and that's why life is so frustrating and makes it necessary to write an outrageous rant for us to read.

OP prob works in a pod and writes code all day crushing 12 cans of coke heavy.

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Dec 23, 2014
adapt or die:

All these smokeshows at the "software company" are trying to fuck OP and that's why life is so frustrating and makes it necessary to write an outrageous rant for us to read.

OP prob works in a pod and writes code all day crushing 12 cans of coke heavy.

LOL again I said there was 1 smokeshow.

One more time:

Or I work in software sales, am a golden gloves boxing champ and apparently a really good looking guy (although I don't see anything special when I look in the mirror).

The amount and intensity of the haters on this site is actually hilarious.

If anyone here thinks this story is so unlikely that they need to immediately start attacking me then I seriously feel sorry for you - your life is truly sad.

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Dec 23, 2014
eignenvector:

So every woman you work with totally wants you..........Keep dreaming

No one said every woman I work with wants me. I said 3 women - that's THREE - were attracted to me. There are plenty of women who find me decidedly unattractive, and plenty of women who don't have an opinion one way or another.

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Dec 23, 2014

Women can be very difficult to work with. The best way to deal with it is to be totally and utterly professional with them--zero pal-ing around on the outside, don't chat them up at work, and when/if they try to chat you up keep it professional and get back to work. In my experience, more than men, women managers tend to promote/hire/fire based on merit, so if you keep it totally professional and perform well there shouldn't be any issue.

But I would say more specifically to your situation, change firms. I've f*cked up at a job before on the personal side where I knew it was time to move on. Whether you're at fault or not, it's time to just move on. Sounds like you've run into a perfect storm of crazy women and personal mistakes.

On a side note, your experiences are why I work for a firm that is almost entirely white male. The only drama I've had is with the woman secretary who is retiring in a year. I'm not saying white male culture is superior to all others, I'm just saying that working for and with white men if you're a white male is the way to go. It's like a fraternity where we work hard and play hard and don't worry about holding our tongues or looking over our shoulders.

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Dec 23, 2014
DCDepository:

Women can be very difficult to work with. The best way to deal with it is to be totally and utterly professional with them--zero pal-ing around on the outside, don't chat them up at work, and when/if they try to chat you up keep it professional and get back to work. In my experience, more than men, women managers tend to promote/hire/fire based on merit, so if you keep it totally professional and perform well there shouldn't be any issue.

But I would say more specifically to your situation, change firms. I've f*cked up at a job before on the personal side where I knew it was time to move on. Whether you're at fault or not, it's time to just move on. Sounds like you've run into a perfect storm of crazy women and personal mistakes.

Thank you.

I did make some personal mistakes and a female friend that I spoke with about the situation told me that I was "bullied by girls" and suggested that I was totally screwed.

Just sucks to leave my company - aside from this crap it really was a great place to work and I had been planning on transferring to the Australian office... Oh well.

Thanks again.

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Dec 23, 2014
DCDepository:

On a side note, your experiences are why I work for a firm that is almost entirely white male. The only drama I've had is with the woman secretary who is retiring in a year. I'm not saying white male culture is superior to all others, I'm just saying that working for and with white men if you're a white male is the way to go. It's like a fraternity where we work hard and play hard and don't worry about holding our tongues or looking over our shoulders.

Spot on.

Is it really a problem if I only want to work with other people that I personally identify with?

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Dec 23, 2014
surferdude867:
DCDepository:

On a side note, your experiences are why I work for a firm that is almost entirely white male. The only drama I've had is with the woman secretary who is retiring in a year. I'm not saying white male culture is superior to all others, I'm just saying that working for and with white men if you're a white male is the way to go. It's like a fraternity where we work hard and play hard and don't worry about holding our tongues or looking over our shoulders.

Spot on.

Is it really a problem if I only want to work with other people that I personally identify with?

To me it's not. It doesn't make you a racist or sexist. It makes you normal. Especially in modern Western society, there is this victim mentality that will really hamper your style as a white man, and at the wrong organization it will cause you to walk on eggshells. My first job out of school on day one sat us down for 6 hours to have an HR presentation and discussion on how white men are essentially racist sexual harassing homophobes. I was disgusted with the presentation and left the firm shortly after that.

But you'll probably run into your issue at big firms; less so at smaller firms that have their own tight-knit culture.

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Dec 23, 2014

Agreed with some of these posts. Keep your head down while you try to find another job. Agree with/do whatever they say when they say it while you secretly look to get the fuck out. Doesn't sound like there's much good that can come from staying at your current job/department.

Dec 23, 2014

Naaa brah, you got is all wrong. I'm da shit and all these bitches want my alpha, golden gloves knob. Bunch a haters.

Dec 23, 2014

Bunch of fucking h8ters.

Dec 28, 2014

hahaha, omfg I can't believe this guy is even real. I really hope he's just a very clever troll.

Dec 23, 2014

OP, you may want to schedule yourself some couch time. You've got some real issues you devilishly handsome golden gloves dream boat!

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Dec 23, 2014

send pics of bombshell girl pls.

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Dec 23, 2014

OP - do you have sisters? If so, what is the age gap/birth order? And did you go to a single-sex or co-ed elementary and high school? Also, what is the age gap between your mother and father?

These answers will provide some useful context on your knowledge of interacting with women.

Dec 24, 2014
SSits:

OP - do you have sisters? If so, what is the age gap/birth order? And did you go to a single-sex or co-ed elementary and high school? Also, what is the age gap between your mother and father?

These answers will provide some useful context on your knowledge of interacting with women.

I have a sister who is 3 years younger than I. I went to co-ed elementary and high school. My father is ~5-6 years older than my mother.

Zero clue why this is relevant

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Dec 24, 2014
surferdude867:

Zero clue why this is relevant

Just trying to get a read on how much practice you've had communicating with women and the roles women have likely played in your life.

For example, a guy who has grown up a the youngest of three brothers (or worse, an only child), who went to an all boys school and whose mother is, say, a trophy wife 15 years younger than his father has a really terrible starting point for dealing with/relating to women, high chance of roofying 3-5 women at college, likely to complain that women don't act subservient enough/clean up after him like his mother did.

Dec 23, 2014

While I think the OP is to blame for quite a bit, I am about to go work for a female VP of Finance and this thread has terrified the shit out of me.

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Dec 24, 2014
CorpFinanceGuy:

While I think the OP is to blame for quite a bit, I am about to go work for a female VP of Finance and this thread has terrified the shit out of me.

Honestly read Snatch's answer and follow it to the letter.

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Dec 23, 2014

Honestly... I just read the first 2 scenarios.

I dont think the first girl wants to give you the yambs... I think you're reading too much into it.

W/ the second two chicks... Just keep it formal... no need to get into the extra.

Dec 23, 2014

EDIT: just read it..

You're just a regular day Channing Tatum, arent you?! Got banker chicks fawning over you left and right bruh!

Dec 24, 2014
handullz:

EDIT: just read it..

You're just a regular day Channing Tatum, arent you?! Got banker chicks fawning over you left and right bruh!

I don't work in banking, and I look more like an athletic Brad Pitt.

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Dec 24, 2014
surferdude867:
handullz:

EDIT: just read it..

You're just a regular day Channing Tatum, arent you?! Got banker chicks fawning over you left and right bruh!

I don't work in banking, and I look more like an athletic Brad Pitt.

I feel you, bruh.

Confidence is key... I just want to let you know that you provided some serious LULz while I await my mom to finish cooking this wack ass spaghetti.

Thank you, sir.. Haha.

But honestly, you're just going to get MS's thrown at you for the longest... Dont let it discourage you, though. This thread is gold.

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Dec 28, 2014

Troll confirmed.

Dec 23, 2014

While working with women can be a handful, you are clearly at fault as well. Atleast partially. Maybe your demeanor is more than "abrasive", which is how you describe yourself.

From reading this thread, you seem to be condescending and a bit narcissistic. This comes from you thinking everyone in the office wants you including the gay recruiter. Just because someone is gay does not mean they are automatically hitting you. This is a fact that many people fail to see. Many gay men happen to be extremely friendly.
You also seem to talk down and insult anyone who doesn't agree with you or who says something you don't want to hear. While women will never stop being fucking crazy no matter where you work, you can humble up a bit and try to improve your interactions with them.

Go ahead and call me a virgin now.

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Dec 24, 2014
MIAMonkey:

While working with women can be a handful, you are clearly at fault as well. Atleast partially. Maybe your demeanor is more than "abrasive", which is how you describe yourself.

From reading this thread, you seem to be condescending and a bit narcissistic. This comes from you thinking everyone in the office wants you including the gay recruiter. Just because someone is gay does not mean they are automatically hitting you. This is a fact that many people fail to see. Many gay men happen to be extremely friendly.

You also seem to talk down and insult anyone who doesn't agree with you or who says something you don't want to hear. While women will never stop being fucking crazy no matter where you work, you can humble up a bit and try to improve your interactions with them.

Go ahead and call me a virgin now.

I said that I was at least partially at fault; I recognize that rarely is just one person at fault when there is interpersonal conflict.

I never said that everyone in the office wants me, I said three girls and one guy out of 1,000 people. There are plenty of people that find me completely unattractive, and far more people who don't even know I exist.

However I've been around the block enough to know when someone is interested.

I'm not insulting anyone who doesn't agree with me, I'm simply retaliating to the people who straight up attacked me verbally. Really read what people said and my responses to them, and then tell me what you think.

For some reason people here don't believe my stories, and to be honest they are NOT uncommon in the workplace.

I said straight up that I wanted advice for dealing with crazy women in the workplace, and the only person who had any real insight and gave good advice was Snatch.

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Dec 24, 2014

How can you say you are not offending anyone when you just gave the most back handed apology of all time. At any point you didn't stop and read that "apology" and think, hey I'm kind of coming off as huge dick by writing this?

How is anyone supposed to take your word on you being an attractive male when you went ahead and stereotyped everyone on this forum.

If you don't think there's anything wrong with some of the things you've wrottne to be, especially that apology, then your problem is clear:
Your emotional intelligence is shit.

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Best Response
Dec 23, 2014

Vagina here. Sorry that your workmates are such cunts. I apologize on the behalf of my sistren.

The solution here is clear - back off. Be professional, curt, and fake to your female coworkers, especially your superiors. Most male superiors love to be called out, schooled, what have you, but females are touchy. They probably think you're trying to undermine them, or that you don't respect them. I hated my last manager, but assignments got 500% easier once I just threw away my self respect and obliged her every psychotic whim. So don't challenge them. Agree with everything. Nod. Even when you want to throw a chair at her and call her a menopausal whore, tuck your personal integrity into your pocket and refrain yourself. It'll be easier that way. And if YOU think she's difficult to deal with, think of how annoyed HER manager (your superior up the chain) must be. Don't make things troublesome for the big guy and you'll thank yourself later.

Also, don't fraternize at work. Keep to yourself, or hang out with only male colleagues. The whole point of dating or mingling with people outside of the workplace is so that you can have 40+ hours of peace and quiet from their shit, as well as potentially avoid them forevs should you well choose. You cannot escape the drama in the office if you become BFFs with coworkers who are not shy in expressing their attraction. Girls also have this funny habit of correlating niceness with interest, after which causation IS TOTALLY OBVI = he is SO in love with me. So, yea. It's better to be the cold guy than the one who gets sent to sensitivity training BC omg-he-took-me-to-see-a-Christmas-tree-with-like-lights-and-everything-and-led-my-engaged-ass-on-and-like-totally-disregarded-all-my-feels guy.

You may be abrasive and aggressive, or you may not be. But when girls feel hurt or upset or cheated, they like to tattle. They teww on the big bad meanie man to whoevew is in chawge (aka their BFFs in HR) so be mindful of your actions and comments. Did I mention that they also have memories that rival those of elephants? Of course, they won't remember all of the nice, considerate things you did, but they will remember that one possibly-but-not-really-but-could-so-totally-be-interpreted-as-offensive comment you made.

P.S. Girls at tech companies are some of the worst. There's a 91% chance that they were OMG-I-Looooooove-Communications! girls or Egyptology majors who found that they didn't really know what they wanted to do after graduation so they jumped into marketing or sales at Google or Facebook because OHMIGOD ThEy ArE sO FuN + YoUnG + cOoL!!!!!! and they looooove working with people. These girls are batshit crazies. Proceed with caution.

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Dec 23, 2014
snatch:

Vagina here. Sorry that your workmates are such cunts. I apologize on the behalf of my sistren.

The solution here is clear - back off. Be professional, curt, and fake to your female coworkers, especially your superiors. Most male superiors love to be called out, schooled, what have you, but females are touchy. They probably think you're trying to undermine them, or that you don't respect them. I hated my last manager, but assignments got 500% easier once I just threw away my self respect and obliged her every psychotic whim. So don't challenge them. Agree with everything. Nod. Even when you want to throw a chair at her and call her a menopausal whore, tuck your personal integrity into your pocket and refrain yourself. It'll be easier that way. And if YOU think she's difficult to deal with, think of how annoyed HER manager (your superior up the chain) must be. Don't make things troublesome for the big guy and you'll thank yourself later.

Also, don't fraternize at work. Keep to yourself, or hang out with only male colleagues. The whole point of dating or mingling with people outside of the workplace is so that you can have 40+ hours of peace and quiet from their shit, as well as potentially avoid them forevs should you well choose. You cannot escape the drama in the office if you become BFFs with coworkers who are not shy in expressing their attraction. Girls also have this funny habit of correlating niceness with interest, after which causation IS TOTALLY OBVI = he is SO in love with me. So, yea. It's better to be the cold guy than the one who gets sent to sensitivity training BC omg-he-took-me-to-see-a-Christmas-tree-with-like-lights-and-everything-and-led-my-engaged-ass-on-and-like-totally-disregarded-all-my-feels guy.

You may be abrasive and aggressive, or you may not be. But when girls feel hurt or upset or cheated, they like to tattle. They teww on the big bad meanie man to whoevew is in chawge (aka their BFFs in HR) so be mindful of your actions and comments. Did I mention that they also have memories that rival those of elephants? Of course, they won't remember all of the nice, considerate things you did, but they will remember that one possibly-but-not-really-but-could-so-totally-be-interpreted-as-offensive comment you made.

P.S. Girls at tech companies are some of the worst. There's a 91% chance that they were OMG-I-Looooooove-Communications! girls or Egyptology majors who found that they didn't really know what they wanted to do after graduation so they jumped into marketing or sales at Google or Facebook because OHMIGOD ThEy ArE sO FuN + YoUnG + cOoL!!!!!! and they looooove working with people. These girls are batshit crazies. Proceed with caution.

Highlight of my slow ass day at work

Dec 23, 2014
snatch:

Vagina here. Sorry that your workmates are such cunts. I apologize on the behalf of my sistren.

The solution here is clear - back off. Be professional, curt, and fake to your female coworkers, especially your superiors. Most male superiors love to be called out, schooled, what have you, but females are touchy. They probably think you're trying to undermine them, or that you don't respect them. I hated my last manager, but assignments got 500% easier once I just threw away my self respect and obliged her every psychotic whim. So don't challenge them. Agree with everything. Nod. Even when you want to throw a chair at her and call her a menopausal whore, tuck your personal integrity into your pocket and refrain yourself. It'll be easier that way. And if YOU think she's difficult to deal with, think of how annoyed HER manager (your superior up the chain) must be. Don't make things troublesome for the big guy and you'll thank yourself later.

Also, don't fraternize at work. Keep to yourself, or hang out with only male colleagues. The whole point of dating or mingling with people outside of the workplace is so that you can have 40+ hours of peace and quiet from their shit, as well as potentially avoid them forevs should you well choose. You cannot escape the drama in the office if you become BFFs with coworkers who are not shy in expressing their attraction. Girls also have this funny habit of correlating niceness with interest, after which causation IS TOTALLY OBVI = he is SO in love with me. So, yea. It's better to be the cold guy than the one who gets sent to sensitivity training BC omg-he-took-me-to-see-a-Christmas-tree-with-like-lights-and-everything-and-led-my-engaged-ass-on-and-like-totally-disregarded-all-my-feels guy.

You may be abrasive and aggressive, or you may not be. But when girls feel hurt or upset or cheated, they like to tattle. They teww on the big bad meanie man to whoevew is in chawge (aka their BFFs in HR) so be mindful of your actions and comments. Did I mention that they also have memories that rival those of elephants? Of course, they won't remember all of the nice, considerate things you did, but they will remember that one possibly-but-not-really-but-could-so-totally-be-interpreted-as-offensive comment you made.

P.S. Girls at tech companies are some of the worst. There's a 91% chance that they were OMG-I-Looooooove-Communications! girls or Egyptology majors who found that they didn't really know what they wanted to do after graduation so they jumped into marketing or sales at Google or Facebook because OHMIGOD ThEy ArE sO FuN + YoUnG + cOoL!!!!!! and they looooove working with people. These girls are batshit crazies. Proceed with caution.

Best post in the whole thread.

Thank you for the very realistic and pragmatic advice.

I actually really appreciate it.

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Dec 23, 2014
snatch:

Vagina here. Sorry that your workmates are such cunts. I apologize on the behalf of my sistren.

The solution here is clear - back off. Be professional, curt, and fake to your female coworkers, especially your superiors. Most male superiors love to be called out, schooled, what have you, but females are touchy. They probably think you're trying to undermine them, or that you don't respect them. I hated my last manager, but assignments got 500% easier once I just threw away my self respect and obliged her every psychotic whim. So don't challenge them. Agree with everything. Nod. Even when you want to throw a chair at her and call her a menopausal whore, tuck your personal integrity into your pocket and refrain yourself. It'll be easier that way. And if YOU think she's difficult to deal with, think of how annoyed HER manager (your superior up the chain) must be. Don't make things troublesome for the big guy and you'll thank yourself later.

Also, don't fraternize at work. Keep to yourself, or hang out with only male colleagues. The whole point of dating or mingling with people outside of the workplace is so that you can have 40+ hours of peace and quiet from their shit, as well as potentially avoid them forevs should you well choose. You cannot escape the drama in the office if you become BFFs with coworkers who are not shy in expressing their attraction. Girls also have this funny habit of correlating niceness with interest, after which causation IS TOTALLY OBVI = he is SO in love with me. So, yea. It's better to be the cold guy than the one who gets sent to sensitivity training BC omg-he-took-me-to-see-a-Christmas-tree-with-like-lights-and-everything-and-led-my-engaged-ass-on-and-like-totally-disregarded-all-my-feels guy.

You may be abrasive and aggressive, or you may not be. But when girls feel hurt or upset or cheated, they like to tattle. They teww on the big bad meanie man to whoevew is in chawge (aka their BFFs in HR) so be mindful of your actions and comments. Did I mention that they also have memories that rival those of elephants? Of course, they won't remember all of the nice, considerate things you did, but they will remember that one possibly-but-not-really-but-could-so-totally-be-interpreted-as-offensive comment you made.

P.S. Girls at tech companies are some of the worst. There's a 91% chance that they were OMG-I-Looooooove-Communications! girls or Egyptology majors who found that they didn't really know what they wanted to do after graduation so they jumped into marketing or sales at Google or Facebook because OHMIGOD ThEy ArE sO FuN + YoUnG + cOoL!!!!!! and they looooove working with people. These girls are batshit crazies. Proceed with caution.

This is the most sensible thing I have read all day... Don't really know if girls at tech firms are the worst (not denying it.. I just don't know about that part) .... but I agree wholeheartedly with virtually every thing else ..
I mean, it is sad that men have to just throw in the towel or get reported to HR... sucks... but that is the world we live in.. better to be the cold shouldered guy who kicks ass at work than have girls bitching behind your back all over your company

Dec 23, 2014

I'm in love with you. I don't even care what you look like.

Dec 23, 2014
Virginia Tech 4ever:

I'm in love with you. I don't even care what you look like.

Be careful. Given that this is WSO, it's an 8/10 chance it's actually a guy.

You could become a Crying Game victim.

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Dec 28, 2014
snatch:

Vagina here. Sorry that your workmates are such cunts. I apologize on the behalf of my sistren.

The solution here is clear - back off. Be professional, curt, and fake to your female coworkers, especially your superiors. Most male superiors love to be called out, schooled, what have you, but females are touchy. They probably think you're trying to undermine them, or that you don't respect them. I hated my last manager, but assignments got 500% easier once I just threw away my self respect and obliged her every psychotic whim. So don't challenge them. Agree with everything. Nod. Even when you want to throw a chair at her and call her a menopausal whore, tuck your personal integrity into your pocket and refrain yourself. It'll be easier that way. And if YOU think she's difficult to deal with, think of how annoyed HER manager (your superior up the chain) must be. Don't make things troublesome for the big guy and you'll thank yourself later.

[...]

P.S. Girls at tech companies are some of the worst. There's a 91% chance that they were OMG-I-Looooooove-Communications! girls or Egyptology majors who found that they didn't really know what they wanted to do after graduation so they jumped into marketing or sales at Google or Facebook because OHMIGOD ThEy ArE sO FuN + YoUnG + cOoL!!!!!! and they looooove working with people. These girls are batshit crazies. Proceed with caution.

if i could give more than 1 SB per post i'd shower you with silvery yellowness... well, "yellowness" comes out wrong here with the "shower" reference but i assure you the feelings are completely platonic. plus, your account name is not so innocent either...

anyway, reading the OP i think to myself "HOLY SHIT this is totally possible" based on my knowledge and first/second-hand experiences.
there definitely seem to be a lot of haters here, but the problem was totally exacerbated by @"surferdude867" 's (somewhat childish at times) belligerent replies. there is a lesson here buddeh. i refer you back again to snatch's post, in all its glory.
anyway the one thing a guy can fall back on is his wedding ring. perhaps the one greatest advantage from that is the fact that most girls will have the decency to back off. then again it sounds like you were treating your office a bit like a college co-ed dorm...

look. bottom line is, bitches be crazy. it's completely true. but you were kinda egging them on. do some sou-searching and tread more carefully. work and emotions don't mix well.

"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Aug 7, 2017

You single?

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

Dec 23, 2014

Hey I wanted to apologize to everyone in this thread who was offended.

Another reader PM'd me and pointed out that this is a finance forum. As such, he suggested that while most people here are more intelligent than average, they are probably below average in looks, athletic ability, dating experience etc.

So while my stories would not seem particularly strange to someone like @"snatch" or people on a health & fitness forum, here they are completely foreign.

For the record, as some other people pointed out this kind of crap does happen, and its actually fairly common, just not at most professional service firm.

Again, I'm sorry.

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Dec 24, 2014
surferdude867:

Hey I wanted to apologize to everyone in this thread who was offended.

Another reader PM'd me and pointed out that this is a finance forum. As such, he suggested that while most people here are more intelligent than average, they are probably below average in looks, athletic ability, dating experience etc.

Rrrrrrright, everyone in finance is an uggo fat virgin. It's common knowledge the real playboys go work in software sales.

The only thing that has offended anyone is how big of a douche you are.

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Dec 24, 2014
the_stig:
surferdude867:

Hey I wanted to apologize to everyone in this thread who was offended.

Another reader PM'd me and pointed out that this is a finance forum. As such, he suggested that while most people here are more intelligent than average, they are probably below average in looks, athletic ability, dating experience etc.

Rrrrrrright, everyone in finance is an uggo fat virgin. It's common knowledge the real playboys go work in software sales.

Nope I just said you guys were below average, which based on the comments here is absolutely true. I bet that the more prestigious the bank/fund, the less prestigious the dating record lol.

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Dec 24, 2014
surferdude867:

Hey I wanted to apologize to everyone in this thread who was offended.

Another reader PM'd me and pointed out that this is a finance forum. As such, he suggested that while most people here are more intelligent than average, they are probably below average in looks, athletic ability, dating experience etc.

So while my stories would not seem particularly strange to someone like @snatch or people on a health & fitness forum, here they are completely foreign.

For the record, as some other people pointed out this kind of crap does happen, and its actually fairly common, just not at most professional service firm.

Again, I'm sorry.

LOL. i love this guy!

hahaha

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Aug 7, 2017

Dude, I'm staring to wonder if you have a personality disorder - or if you literally don't understand what you're saying. Your replies to about 97% of the responses here have been some of the most insecure, childish, immature, ridiculous, short-sighted and ridiculous posts I've read on this website. And I've been here a long time.

Either you can't help yourself or you don't know what you're doing. Stupid or liar. There's been some good advice already offered here, I advise you to follow it.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

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Aug 8, 2017

That's because you didn't bother to really read my initial post, or you're too stupid to understand.

97% of the posts in here are insecure, childish, immature, ridiculous etc., so they received a response that was in-line with their nonsense. Most people refused to look at everything I said objectively, they just responded with whatever nonsense popped into their small brains at the time.

Snatch gave the best and most helpful response in this thread; she took the time to read everything I wrote, and took it all seriously, she didn't automatically assume I was lying like most of these idiots.

Guess what? Girls sexually harass boys sometimes. They also play weird mental/emotional games, and get upset when men don't react the way they've been conditioned to assume. It also seems like I'm something of an outlier, because the vast majority of people here can't relate, however a few PM'd me and knew exactly what I was going through.

Now go back, read what I wrote, assume that it's true, and re-read the responses - I guarantee you'll have a different outlook.

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Dec 23, 2014

Ya'll just h8ters. You don't understand my mad swagger.

Dec 24, 2014

Anyway, that sucks man. I can't think of any solution since I never had an experience that bad. In fact, it's so far so good with the opposite gender for me. Don't lose hope man.

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Dec 24, 2014

Anyway, that sucks man. I can't think of any solution since I never had an experience that bad. In fact, it's so far so good with the opposite gender for me. Don't lose hope man.

Dec 24, 2014

OP, are there any good last minute Xmas rollback specials in your department today?

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Dec 24, 2014
adapt or die:

OP, are there any good last minute Xmas rollback specials in your department today?

Keep the monkey shit coming gents, this is a hilarious experience!

Keep working on those financial models kid, one day a below average girl will let you sniff her panties when you spend half your salary on her!

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Dec 24, 2014

Who moved the tree to Times Square? And why?

Dec 26, 2014

Let me put my opinion here. As others have said, "Don't Sh*t where you eat." Honestly some women are terrible to work with as some men are too. Your employer pays you to work and that's it. Just go to work and leave work. I prefer to work with men because it's less dramatic and men at least straight men don't get jealous about what bag and/or what shoes I'm wearing. They only care about $. At my last job one of the female managers had a problem with color of my shirt (I worked retail) and threaten to send me home! Yes over a shirt!! Clearly she had a problem. Anyway just focus on work and nothing else. -The lone Female in the office...

Greed is Good!

Dec 28, 2014

I once made a woman cry at work when I was explaining to her what a fund of funds is in a nice and friendly manner and while I did it I smiled a bit for what ever reason, she thought that I'm smiling because I think she is stupid and busted in to tears all this happening in front of a manager, you should see my poker face. This was in MO. When I worked in BO more than half of the team was women, now that was entertaining... gossips, random anger at colleagues, crying, all this crap came from women, guy's never had an issue among each other even ONCE. Now I'm an IB analyst, no women in the company apart from office administration, it's like heaven, a breath of fresh air.
Bottom line here is that if you even focus on work and ignore all the emotional stuff coming from the women that won't help, I tried it, you will just feel miserable. During several years in BO and MO I've seen many issues similar to what OP described and nobody managed to get it sorted, everyone who got sick of it just moved out of the company.

You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.

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Aug 9, 2017

Finally someone else who knows what im talking about. I obviously made some mistakes (and at least one BIG one!) but it's not like everyone else is innocent and I'm just some psycho.

Dec 28, 2014

Well. This thread has been one of the more highly entertaining parts of my way too early Sunday morning (thanks insomnia!)

It's great to see that total sexist/racist fucking idiots like the OP are still out there. Guess what --> you are a failure. You got a 0 on a performance review, and you are blaming it on everybody else. The best part is, that as your self delusion continues, you are going to keep fucking up (like you said, you're in sales, there are a lot of women, and apparently you don't know how to work with ANY of them). You can blame all the people on this forum who disagree with you and call them virgins if that somehow makes you feel better (does it really? I wonder), but at the pace you're going in about 5 years you are going to find yourself doing fuck all, schlepping away and unable to make your mortgage payment as your bombshell wife leaves you for the guy who didn't fuck it all up. Enjoy life.

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Dec 28, 2014

You sound like the 12 year old who keeps shouting "Everyone is looking at me mommy!" and shuddering in terror in a corner.

These advances came from 2 women with sig others and the other is your mentor, you must be an absolute stud... Ever think that you're manufacturing people being nice and social as flirting? And these venomous looks?

So in conclusion, all vaginas in the building want you despite their sig others, if you don't fuck them, you get venomous looks. And everyone is out to get you...

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Aug 9, 2017

Of course I ran through the possibility that I was imagining things, that's always step #1.

Other people brought the looks and flirting to my attention - i.e. male co-worker saying things like "Damn man, have you seen the way Bombshell looks at you? And did she really just come and sit on your desk like that? Holy shit that text message is from her?!?!? You gonna handle that or what?!" - which confirms things, no?

And yes, I am a conventionally attractive young man (says society, when I look in the mirror I don't see anything special).

Dec 28, 2014

OP I read your scenarios for shits n gigs, and there is one issue that hasn't really been addressed yet. Specifically, scenario #5. This has nothing to do with women in the work place, and everything to do with your lack of understanding how the chain-of-command works.

If you hear about some company restructuring and ask your direct report about it, drop it as soon as they tell you not to worry about it. It's not your place to worry about it. If it were absolutely pertinent to your job performance or day-to-day duties you would have been informed about it. This goes beyond not knowing how to work with women, you went over your superiors head to a Director because you just had to know for some reason. That is basically the equivalent of asking a Captain about something, they tell you not to worry about it, so you go and ask the unit Major or Lt. Colonel.

Honestly, you should be thankful you haven't been fired yet.

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Dec 28, 2014

Let me get this straight -
All women in the building want you, including the gay man. Well done dude.

You talk to your bosses and co-workers in a very derogatory way, and give the impression to your boss that you are undermining their authority. It's not a question of your boss being a woman, it's a question of you being an idiot. Don't talk back - it's hard to be a manager, and pricks like you are hard to manage. I understand if they are giving you multiple warnings to get rid of you. See - they have to do it in steps not to pay you a package when they fire you. If you get enough warnings they can just let you go for "free".
Now if this story has anything actually true in it - look for a job elsewhere as you are fucked where you are working.

Dec 29, 2014

That escalated quickly..

Dec 29, 2014

Jesus, what a hilarious thread.

Dec 29, 2014

while reading this post I kept thinking of Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell) from " The Other Guys".....

"Not me. Im in my prime"

Dec 30, 2014

My first thought was that you watch too much Archer. And curious why is a software guy on Wall Street Oasis, for that matter why is anyone not in finance on here?

Dec 30, 2014

i try to get in touch with my inner sadboy to attune myself with the female psyche

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

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Jan 7, 2015
GoldenCinderblock:

i try to get in touch with my inner sadboy to attune myself with the female psyche

WTF did I just watch?

Jan 3, 2015

There is a saying that goes "Everyone is entitled to one crazy ex. But if you have more than one crazy ex, you're the crazy ex."

Now I'm no expert, but I'm willing to bet this lesson applies to assholes in the workplace

Jan 6, 2015

Dude seems like you're very argumentative. I've never seen so much monkey shit thrown at one person in a post.

When it comes down to it, all women want in the workplace or in life in general is to be respected and to be able to trust you. If you follow those rules you can't really fuck it up.

Jan 7, 2015

Cool story, bro.

It is true that women are generally more "protective" of their positions and their authority. I'm female, and some of my experiences with female bosses were horrible. (In fact, female-on-female bullying is MUCH worse that female-on-male due to perceived career threat). So I do understand the fact that female bosses (by biological/psychological nature) are a little more "on-edge" and don't like people stepping out of bounds to undermine them. (At one of my stints, I started up a new business development division in a small firm - *immediately* the next day the VP above my boss (who had never even spoken to me before) starting giving me shit for "not enough facetime" and "not working on the weekends".... and this was not in finance, mind you.

That said, if you're having the same problem four times in a row, you probably need to take a step back and listen to some of the advice in this thread. You came here asking for good advice, Archer is giving it to you, and you blow it back in his face. That right there is a perfect example of why people at work probably hate you.

Currently: future psychiatrist (med school =P)
Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)

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Aug 9, 2017

But Archer's an idiot and his advice was terrible. Snatch;s advice was fantastic and I have taken it to heart.

I did not have this problem "4 times in a row." It was once and just happened to involve several people.

Anyways thank you for YOUR advice - you took the time to read what I wrote and were able to empathize. Most people here simply I assumed I was 100% responsible for every bad thing that happened, or that I 100% made it up like some attention seeking whore.

And thanks for acknowledging that men and women are different.

Jan 19, 2015

I can take yo bitch whenever all my cars got wood n leather

mbavsmfin:

I don't wear watches bro. Because it's always MBA BALLER time!

Aug 31, 2016

.

Aug 31, 2016

Wow. After reading some of your responses you seem like the worst kind of person, seriously get over yourself. You are not special, not all of your female coworkers want to get in your pants, and when your boss tells you to do something (male or female) you do it, period, no complaints. Really your life and career would probably be much easier if you weren't so narcissistic

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Sep 1, 2016

Best reply, I fully agree, get over it, sooner the better.

Aug 9, 2017

That's because you're stupid too

Sep 1, 2016

Dude asks for advice then wants to argue if he doesn't like the response?

Like others have said, if you really believe everyone else is wrong and has a problem, it may be time to do some serious self reflection

Aug 9, 2017
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Aug 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017
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Aug 7, 2017
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"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."

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Aug 8, 2017