Hello there. Today, while browsing LinkedIn I bumped into a hilarious entry on the profile of one of the so called 'incoming summer analysts: http://imgur.com/a/gbcxT
This is what I call a magnitude.
ITT share your best findings from LinkedIn..
| +326 | UBS Tech MD hires Son (from no-name college) as an Intern | 57 | 13h |
| +242 | Evercore Intern Seizure | 38 | 20m |
| +90 | [Official] 2026 IB Analyst Bonus Megathread (with 2025 Consolidated Pay and Perks/Benefits) | 12 | 2d |
| +55 | Is DCM actually underrated ? | 21 | 12h |
| +54 | JPM M&A is Gone??? Purely Coverage Banking??? | 22 | 3h |
| +46 | Are all Tech / TMT groups sweaty? | 33 | 1d |
| +40 | Losing my personality in Banking | 6 | 2h |
| +39 | Am I behind? 31 Year Old Analyst | 9 | 1d |
| +38 | Associate & Above IB exits | 16 | 2d |
| +31 | Incoming IB Analyst: Best Ways to Prepare? | 8 | 2d |
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I saw someone with the title "Incoming Research Summer Analyst" at Buzzfeed back in May.
What the hell would a research analyst do at Buzzfeed? Research the top 10 most effective penis enhancement options? (if that is the case, I may apply)
So you're telling me YOU can enhance MY penis?
Serious answer?
It is a big data problem. Websites like Buzzfeed put a lot of effort into analyzing their userbase in order to drive both userbase expansion and the amount of revenue they can generate from that traffic.
You wouldn't BELIEVE what he researched (#7 will shock you!)
Knowing BuzzFeed, I wonder if that was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek?
List oneself as the CEO/President/Etc. of a student-managed fund at a college in your LinkedIn title.
Honest question - what would you do? Feels weird to leave the summer analyst title hanging on LinkedIn for the entire school year
You change it to what you are during the school year: Student at XYZ University.
Saying you are still a Summer Analyst when it's October is tacky. So is saying you're an Incoming Analyst when you don't start work for months. Write what you actually are at the time, which is a student. I promise you people who matter won't think less of you.
.
... And call themselves a "contrarian value investor" in the description box below the title.
its amazing what people with top CVs do on linkedin.
quick search for "incoming summer analyst 2017" yielded some disappointing results for UCL, Oxbridge and LSE students.
Tbf, this person probably converted their spring internship at Goldman into a summer and wanted to make that apparent. Really not that 'ridiculous'.
"Innovator | Entrepreneur | Connector | Idea Generator"
Anyone who has a bunch of bull shit descriptions as their title as opposed to a job. I hate it so much.
Also, the people who share "inspirational images" and think that LinkedIn is FB. Or the pyramid scheme recruiters asking me if I'm looking for some income on the side.
.
I so agree with this one
Linkedin is the new facebook according to my linked feed
Aspiring Accountant as a title
I've seen "aspiring CFA" which is kind of an indicator they don't know anything about finance.
A guy that goes to my school has "Aspiring CFA Level I Candidate". Dream big...
When desperate losers attempt to hit on women when she posts a comment on some article. Something like "oh yes xxx! You are so correct! Can we meet up for coffee to discuss this further?" (legit no joke, I've seen it before...)
Notbad4aquant you are so correct... Let's meet up for coffee to discuss this further and after that I take you home to pound town?
haha underrated comment
Only if you're paying for the coffee xD
Though I've never asked someone why they put things like "incoming summer analyst" 4-8 months before the job begins, I would imagine that it is just a way for people to brag/show the rest of their connections, specifically their peers, how successful and accomplished they are.
Although I agree writing Incoming is petty as fuck, I know some kids who put incoming XX as titles yet are the most down to earth kids ever. I think a lot of kids have the misconception that putting Incoming is best practice.
did help me meet a few fellow interns and smoothly access company page when networking for placement
People who comment on a post from Mark Cuban's page asking him for a job and writing their life story of "how hard they work" in the comments section.
I've seen a bunch of people with "Results driven" or "Results-oriented professional". I still don't get what that means....what else would you be oriented towards? Are you supposed to follow it up with "air-breathing individual"?
You don't see the value of a "result-driven hard working aspiring executive looking to make a difference"?
", MBA"
Companies are starting to ask you to put Incoming X on LinkedIn, especially if you're taking a gap year before starting.
However it is your decision whether to accept this request.
Personally I think my favorite is all the motivational speaker bullshit that people post on LinkedIN.
Not only are you people not impressing anyone with your trite observations that anyone would have gotten for free from a Tony Robbins seminar, but all of you people commenting on it hoping that you will impress some recruiter reading the comments are losers.
The absolute worst I've ever seen is "Incoming Spring Week Analyst at XYZ sachs" ... "spring week analyst" Please think about that for a second. They will be in the office for a week...break that down, 5 business days. Are you fucking kidding me?
Worst thing I see consistently is people taking a class or some seminar and saying they went to HBS under education.
ABSOLUTELY. The pricks who list online courses at Udemy and Coursera are perhaps even worst.
Kind of different though. If you took some serious programming or data analysis classes and had a humanities major in college or something that's pretty noteworthy.
+1 that really grinds my gears.
The Indian Human Resources Department Minister did exactly that.
"transfer student applicant to ________ school." "Interview Candidate at _________."
If you have actually seen "Interview Candidate at ___" Please PM me the link and I will proceed to ruin careers. That is absolutely ridiculous. What the actual FUCK
Seriously, if I were a hiring manager at a company and saw "interview candidate at ___", I'd throw out their application, regardless of where it said they were interviewing.
Hahahahaha. Not far off "Hard Labourer at North Korean Gulag Zone 3"
I just did some checking and came out completely empty on "Interview Candidate at ___" anywhere on Linkedin. I want to cringe pretty bad so if you have a link please PM me.
"superday Candidate" search term is where the money is baby
The "Interview Candidate" made me cringe. Seriously, what the fuck?
Taking one online class at HBS, and listing HBS at the top of your Education section.
NOT having a profile pic. Having a inappropriate profile pic.
Anything after your name. (Maybe I can make an exception for MD)
I agree with #1 and 2, but not #3.People put professional titles after their names on business cards, why not LinkedIn? Personally, I don't think saying "_____, CFA" would look weird. If you took the time and did the work to earn that title, and it actually means something to someone, by all means, flaunt it!
Don't agree with the first half of #2. Having a profile photo isn't all that important. Students tend to have them, but as seniority increases they become less common.
Some guy tried to connect with me today with this as his background/header image and his current job is "Bottle Service" of [night club] in Chicago.
https://ramadhanpradityaputra.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/untitled1.png
That's not ridiculous...that's baller, bro-know the difference PLEASE
when people write their bio in 3rd person and then proceed to use vague adjectives to brag about themselves
THE WORST: Older people posting these long, heartfelt comments on clickbait. "I totally agree with this photo. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....It's a shame that kids these days don't work as hard...BLAH BLAH BLAH."
Saw a kid with "former summer investment banking analyst at xxx" today, needless to say I cringed.
I really hate the really simple order of operations problems with like 5k comments and almost everyone is wrong. There always seems to be one jerk off that insists on trying to teach everyone how to do it.
Jerk-off: "Guys, have you never heard of PEMDAS, the problem is so easy! I am practically a genius."
This thread is bringing me a lot of joy on a boring Thursday evening.
A fake profile of a MD/VP adding you on LinkedIn
I hate when kids from my school put in their title "motivated recent college grad looking for a job". That's the most cringe worthy thing I've seen for them and this economy.
"A recent university graduate, hoping his mother will still do his laundry!"
The worst is any middle or back office plebian title.. just leave it blank
Standard banker mentality. Fuck.
How bad is it that I don't have a profile pic on mine? I just recently made one and was waiting til next month when my school offers free headshots. But is it really off-putting to not have one? If a hiring manager looks up an interviewer, it doesn't show their face anyways if they're not connected on it right? So in the sense of job hunting, does it matter?
It's not that important. It will get you more views on your portfolio if that's important to you, but seriously, who gives a fk what somebody looks like.
And you can see people's photos if you aren't connected to them if that's what you're asking.
Depends if you're hot or not bro
"Incoming Summer Analyst"
/thread
Is it really that bad? I'm currently a student and I don't think that's the worst thing ever.
I personally really liked it, because coming from a non-target, networking with the incoming SA is really important. If they return for full-time, they actually have decent pull (in the sense that they put in a good word for the alum at the bank and it can help out). Getting a hold of the SA from your school is near impossible during the summer, because they don't seem to be used to the work and have trouble getting back to you, they'll ask you to reach out to them after their internship (when there's not much time to develop a relationship, and when everyone else is also reaching out to them).
I do see the argument against it, but I don't think it's as bad as people make it out to be.
It's extremely tacky.
I think "Incoming ___" is obviously the biggest sin here, but I REALLY hate the third person bios from people who would never have the possibility of having a bio written about them.
Okay maybe some MDs or senior professionals could have an assistant or communications person write a bio for them for their linkedin or company website -- but no, sorry 3rd year analyst, you shouldn't be writing about yourself in third person.
This has been discussed many times, but most people in the industry view it was tacky/gaudy because it serves no purpose other than to brag that you got an SA offer.
Would have to be things like "Thought Leader", "Innovation Expert", "Change Manager", "Transcended the Human Condition based on putting money luckily into a few moonshot VC seeding rounds" etc etc.
Also a pet peeve is people calling themselves an "analyst", "relationship manager", "client associate" or other bureaucratic euphemism - role and firm i.e. Management Consultant at BCG, Stockbroker at Smith Barney etc would be better. Stops me thinking you're are a sex worker or even worse, an IT worker.
I know someone know listed "deep thinker" on their profile.
ahhahahaahah damn, I would love to send him a message asking him how deep
not have linkedin.....
listing their title as "Gentleman" or the worst one I seen: "Lover & Gentleman." Unless your name is Deuce Bigalow, that shit is unacceptable.
Deuce Bigalow "European Gigolo, Innovator, Power Investor"
Organisatioons (Name) Supports: Goldman Sachs Credit Suisse Federal Reserve System Federal Reserve Bank of New York Wells Fargo Blue Shield of California AIG Deloitte Apple Abaxis, Inc. IBM Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB)
(literally just copied pasted this from a kid I know)
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