You are a bottom bucket analyst if...

Enough coddling: by definition some people are the bottom 15%. For those of you who don't have the self-awareness to recognize you aren't cutting it, here are the signs (real life examples). If you do any of the following, I shouldn't have to explain to you why you are a bottom bucket analyst:

  • You copy and paste data wrong. Like reformatting the buyers page I suddenly see [Facebook]'s ticker is ["IBM"] and is based out of [Beijing]? That's great.
  • Every time I give you a turn, I have to re-check the entire book because you have a habit of screwing things up that shouldn't change. Like weirdly/stupidly basic stuff. How the hell did a subtitle suddenly disappear off the page? That page didn't even have any comments on it.
  • Oh that's nice. Our meeting is with [Facebook] in March, but the title page shows [IBM] in September. Our book also has [IBM] in five places.
  • You spelled the CEO's name wrong.
  • You give me financial pages with different cases on them. Huh? How come all the numbers in each of the "different" cases are the same? Don't blame "CapIQ" or "embedded links". You screwed up.
  • What a great growth rate! Oh wait, you used the wrong number of years in a CAGR. We're not talking advanced calculus here.
  • A minus 99% growth rate. Interesting. I thought this business was growing. Do you know what the difference is between Billions and Millions? (Bloomberg pulls)
  • Capacity utilization or renewal rates are -5% or 120%? That's awesome. So I'm rolling a (weighted? magical?) dice with 120% probability of getting snake eyes: I'm guaranteed snake eyes at least once with a 20% chance of getting it twice on the same roll.
  • You show a monthly number as an annual number. Oh, interesting. This company trades at 120x? I thought it was only supposed to be 10x. Way to create value and a premium multiple. You deserve a bonus above street.
  • The growth case DCF is lower than the base case? You screwed up. No, not a "labeling issue". You screwed up.
  • Our indicated valuation range is from X to Y. And our football field shows every metric is 2x Y or higher. If your math is right (which it isn't), I'm sure the client will appreciate us selling their business for less than half of what "we think it is worth".
  • Footnote says comps market price as of September of last year. It's f'n February. Quarters have since reported. Also, you have footnote 7 conspicuously floating in the middle of the page, but at the bottom of the page our footnotes only go to 4.
  • Our quals/creds page only has 2016 data. It's 2018 and 2017 numbers have since come in. There was a firm wide email. Update.
  • You listed employees as being in $ millions. Hmm. I know people are our "greatest asset", but this is borderline human trafficking.
  • [Steve] got promoted to MD this year. There was a firm wide email. The team celebrated with drinks last Friday. You shook his hand and said "Congratulations on the promotion to MD, [Steve]". He took you out for drinks and then gave you his credit card for the rest of the night. He said, "This will be my first meeting as an MD". I'm sure he'll love that you left him as a Director on the team page.
  • Oh, and you got YOUR OWN PHONE NUMBER WRONG ON THE TEAM PAGE.
  • We are still here late on a Friday because you can't do your job and I write WSO posts while baby sitting you.

G'dmn monkeys on type writers. Guys, this isn't even "IBD is attention to detail" difficult. This would get you fired ANYWHERE.

BTW: [ ] - Clearly made up names, in-case your bottom bucket a$$ didn't get it.

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Comments (55)

Feb 24, 2018

Gold. +1. Please do "You're a top bucket analyst if..."

    • 13
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Feb 24, 2018

If you print out every document/slide to review before sending for revision, that in itself qualifies for top bucket.

/thread

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Feb 26, 2018
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Feb 24, 2018

Hey, crap analyst. Stop throwing monkey crap and get my g'dmn work done.

Thanks.

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Best Response
Feb 24, 2018
TorontoMonkey1328:

Hey, crap analyst. Stop throwing monkey crap and get my g'dmn work done.

Thanks.

I threw the MS because you're Canadian.

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Feb 24, 2018

Very good

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Feb 25, 2018

Figure i'd add some based on myself... hmm

  • "Please see PDF attachment for..." forgets to attach anything to email
  • "I've cleaned out the model you requested" Has enough #REFS to to supply every soccer match in Africa
  • "Fuck man we've be working some late hours" Spends 10 mins on tinder every 20 mins

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Feb 24, 2018

Did you steal that from yet another Instagram post?

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Mar 28, 2018

Who among us has never forgotten to attach a pdf??

Feb 26, 2018

This is very helpful. At first blush, it seems most of these can be identified by printing out one's work and take a highlighter to track changes between turns (that in itself should be beneficial to a prospective 1st year analyst in ensuring that the truly egregious errors are fleshed out).

In your experience, were these mistakes isolated to new 1st year analysts? Did you see improvement after the first few go arounds where the mistakes were found?

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Feb 26, 2018

Most of these would get caught if printed a hard copy out first and actually read through. If you don't proof read hard copies before sending to people, you're bottom bucket.

Feb 26, 2018

As others have previously mentioned, F7 and print/flip would solve most of these pretty quickly.

I remember reading a comment somewhere on WSO that effectively said "if your second/third year analyst and associate aren't telling you to F7 and print and flip everything when you hit the desk, they have failed you."

Probably the single easiest thing to do that will have the largest positive effect.

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Feb 26, 2018

lmao this thread brings back good old memories

OP - is this a first yr analyst? if not... you may want to ask why you are staffed with bottom bucket analysts ;)

add/edit: i actually did get my own number wrong and also promoted myself from analyst to associate on the team page, that's why i thought your post is funny

Feb 27, 2018

I knew you'd be on here!

Feb 27, 2018

Advice for 1st years/bottom buckets: When you receive a turn with changes, please be aware of what these changes are and how they affect your model.

For example, if one small change shouldn't be drastically affecting your numbers from the previous version, then be aware of that. It baffles me how so many people are not cognizant of their work and how anything flows.

Changing the tax rate from 35% to 37% should not make your free cash flows increase by 100000%. You fucked up.

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Feb 27, 2018

Also, I love when you notice these same kids try to spin their way out of their mistakes. I've personally witnessed interactions between them and an associate where the 1st year knows they fucked up, the associate knows the 1st year fucked up, yet the 1st year continues to say things like "oh that's strange! Not sure how that happened". Uh....yes you do know what happened. I know what happened. You fucked up.

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Feb 27, 2018

lmao this is true but have you seen the other way around? a seasoned analyst calling out a first year associate... i hope you witness it once in your life, especially with senior MDs from various groups (sponsor, M&A, industry, DCM,. ECM, the whole suite).

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Feb 27, 2018

Not in front of MDs or seniors. I have actually called out a couple 1st year associates before because they failed to do their jobs and they suck.

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Feb 27, 2018

...you have time to post drivel such as this on an internet message board.

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Mar 2, 2018

Please tell me this is not an experience you had? How does someone with that much lack of attention to detail get into IB?

Mar 2, 2018

Industry connections/network/feeder school, or someone made a phone call.

No pain no game.

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Mar 2, 2018

Hey Friendly Boss Person,
Instead of writing posts here, you "could" do a bit more training of your staff.
Or, spend the necessary time and $ to recruit proven talent, not just a fresh MBA face.

Humility would have you looking in the mirror mate, b/c being a jerk apparently is not working.

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Mar 2, 2018

https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/roadmap-for...
Please read third paragraph, "mate".

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Mar 2, 2018

I have work to do --- read your own paragraph, eh!

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Mar 2, 2018

I'm going to reply again to give you an opportunity to give me another monkey shit, but you'll notice that all my other posts have had a "mentoring flavor" to them. And while this post is harsh, I generally enjoy a good reputation with my juniors for developing them and getting them out of the bottom bucket and into the top.

No one in IBD is going to give you honest feedback because they have no incentive to. They will just de-staff you or push you to lower value work.

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Mar 2, 2018

how can I work for you - sounds positive and enlightening.
Dont want poop tossed, don't toss it, mate.

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Mar 3, 2018
TorontoMonkey1328:

I'm going to reply again to give you an opportunity to give me another monkey shit, but you'll notice that all my other posts have had a "mentoring flavor" to them. And while this post is harsh, I generally enjoy a good reputation with my juniors for developing them and getting them out of the bottom bucket and into the top.

No one in IBD is going to give you honest feedback because they have no incentive to. They will just de-staff you or push you to lower value work.

every analyst, current and incoming should take a pause and read this quote right here. this can make or break your career yet it can be viewed as so "trivial" or otherwise overlooked.

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Apr 18, 2018

I've never seen someone with a negative amount of bananas before. Well done!

Mar 2, 2018

For Sales and trading:

1: client wanted my bid. I asked trader for the offer. Executed the trade on offer. Discovered I fucked up, reversed the trade in 3 seconds, hooray! Instant 100k loss on traders book.

  1. Client wanna buy something on trader's axe list, I didn't check the latest email and book info and executed the trade and later found out trader got no inventory = trader now is shorting it. I heard from my other friends that the trader stood up yelling my name hysterically and I became a well known super star in London office. (I am based in Asia )

True story. Real experience in the G- bulge bracket.
Had to let myself go after 1.5 yrs. that's my short stint in IB lol

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Mar 28, 2018

Had a similar story to 1); didn't make it past 1Y.

Apr 18, 2018

I think you'll find that this is a common theme across all walks of life and not just in finance. It is known as the Peter Principle - essentially, all people progress in their careers until they reach their point of incompetence.

Apr 18, 2018

Well...I don't really think this is true. The skills required to be a GREAT analyst, college student, and "exit-opp" interviewer at a young age are not quite the same as the skills required to become a GREAT senior banker. As a matter of fact they may be exactly the opposite in many cases.

Apr 18, 2018
Mr.Magau:

Well...I don't really think this is true. The skills required to be a GREAT analyst, college student, and "exit-opp" interviewer at a young age are not quite the same as the skills required to become a GREAT senior banker. As a matter of fact they may be exactly the opposite in many cases.

This is a fair point... what makes a stellar analyst often isn't very correlated with what makes a successful long term banker.

Apr 18, 2018

I can't agree with you more on the fact that what makes a good employee can differ drastically between the junior and senior level, especially considering that all you'll be doing at the junior level is stare at Excel sheets and do other mind-numbingly tedious tasks.

But in regards to the aforementioned trend, the way folks have explained to me is that it works likes this:

It's a fact that whatever first job one finds out of undergrad isn't going to be one's lifelong career, so it's pretty safe to bet anyone would want to switch jobs the moment they're given something that pays better and/or has shorter hours, especially if your first job is in finance. Obviously, if you're a firm doing your recruiting through other firms, you'll want to choose the best. Having said that, if most folks entering want to leave starting from Day1, then that means there's hardly anyone who want to stay. I used to believe you always needed an MBA to become an associate but I had a friend from a BB tell me that because almost everyone wants to leave, there's hardly anyone left to fill the associate roles to begin with, so the need for an MBA to become an associate is kinda disappearing (Not sure about that one). He also said those who stay are considered the "unfortunately ones" because they couldn't find something better (Now that I believe). Lasly, of course if you've proven yourself to a [bigger] liability and a general nuisance, then the only exit opp for you is out the door.

Again I'm not sure how consistent this trend is in finance or any other industry but I know for a fact it's not an uncommon occurrence. I'm only questioning how much it's changed.

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Apr 18, 2018

Probably depends on the job. I would imagine that for the top firms and groups (eg KKR PE or the like) the good ones stay and get promoted (or maybe start their own company)and everyone else leaves once they know they're not getting offers to move up?

Apr 18, 2018

Right it still depends on the group. But in your example with KKR and the like, it's a little different because those firms generally hire from the sell-side and generally not from recent grads. Even so, work hours in firms like KKR are all pretty intense, so I anticipate not many would want to stay even there for the rest of their lives.

Mar 2, 2018

Nothing like posting this and saying "difference" when you mean different

Apr 18, 2018

On the corporate ladder? Yes. In the company? No. There are janitors that work for Goldman too...

Apr 18, 2018

haha experience matters. if i wanted to get paid well, i wouldn't become a banker in the first place. especially SAs who don't get paid overtime or bonuses are hm.. for lack of a better word slaves. i don't even wanna know my hourly wage for the summer - it's so degrading.

Apr 18, 2018

Your not getting yourself into anything.

I doubt you have an offer.

Apr 18, 2018

Summer analyst. Not FT

Apr 18, 2018
YourWorstEnemy:

Summer analyst. Not FT

Advice: act like you are on the bottom...even below the janitors, graphics shop workers, cafeteria workers, etc.

Your modesty will be noted. I know an analyst in my SA class who did not get an offer because he was constantly rude and condescending to the print shop workers.

May 9, 2018

Good for the bank to not bring him back. It says a lot about someone's character if they're being dicks to people in support groups and there to help them.

Mar 3, 2018

Dude - awesome post. I can tell you are really cool and good at your job from this. Makes me want to work in IB. Your perspective is very enlightening.

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Apr 18, 2018

Interested to see reponses. Perhaps ask @mergersandacquisitions78 (think that's the username) to chime in?

Apr 18, 2018

bump

Apr 18, 2018

You have to outperform the guy who's in the spot you want to be. That's going to mean not screwing up, and working much harder. One of the best things you can do is to consistently do part of the guy above you's job. So if you're an analyst, take a first crack at drafting pages, putting together the text slides, or reviewing the work of another product group. If you're an associate, shell the book out for your VP, and don't let any errors make it through to the VP. Things like that.

Don't underestimate the value of the relationship side though. Ultimately bucketing is more about perceived value and how much people like you than who was on the "biggest project". There's definitely some correlation there, but it's not the most important thing.

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Mar 3, 2018

10+ people were absolutely butthurt because this applies to them, and their liberal snowflake minds can't take the truth.

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Mar 3, 2018

In fairness, a lot of these things happen to most people occasionally. There's a difference between them happening one percent of the time and every time. Also, obviously anything going directly to a client or senior banker ought to be perfect. You can really only get away with a ding on that count very infrequently in my experience without people thinking you suck.

Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018