Avoiding The Marriage Zone
We're all familiar with the Friend Zone and what a drag it can be to find yourself there, but today I'm going to share with you a far worse fate and why you must avoid it at all costs: The Marriage Zone. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to TheKing for tipping me off to this hilarious (and searingly accurate) analysis. Consider the following a Public Service Announcement.
What is The Marriage Zone? I'm glad you asked. It's no secret that young women have far greater access to sexual opportunities than their male peers. Young men have to work hard to get laid; young women merely bear the indignity of free drinks while deciding with whom to bump uglies. As both age, however, the dynamic shifts. And at the point where men and women have equal access to sex (his access increasing while hers is decreasing) you find The Marriage Zone.
Most men – average men – can only begin enjoying life at age 29 the way women do at age 19 because it takes them that long to gain the resources women find attractive. The point in life where men’s and women’s access intersect is the marriage zone. She has to get him to commit in that zone before he realizes that his life is really just starting. My recommendation: she’s enjoyed her “wild and free” days, so avoid marriage and go enjoy yours.
As illustrated by the nifty chart, on either side of the Marriage Zone is the Slut Zone and the Player Zone. As you can see, the Player Zone extends at least twice as long as the Slut Zone. The Player Zone is essentially unfettered access to poon as you advance in your career and grow more distinguished in appearance.
So the smart money says to avoid marriage at all costs in your twenties - you'll almost certainly be undervaluing your greatest asset (your freedom). I wish someone had explained this to me when I was that age. I was clueless and got married for the first time at 20. And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.
I can already hear some of you saying, "But Eddie, what if I want to have kids?". Well, first of all, here's what having kids is like on a good day:

Second, what's the rush? As a male you can have kids into your sixties and seventies. And that's probably the best time to do it. You'll probably be dead before you ever have to post bail for one of them.
In summary: if you're in your 20's things are only going to get better for you sex-wise. Not to put it as indelicately as one of the commenters to that post, but men age like wine while women age like milk. You have so few advantages in the battle of the sexes, you'd be a fool to take your greatest advantage and throw it away before you've even enjoyed it.
Just sayin' is all.







Comments
Edmundo Braverman: And no,
And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.
I laughed my ass off.
Overall, perfect analysis and something that makes complete sense when you think about it.
pick em, lick em, stick em
Married at 20!!! Hey Eddie, I
Married at 20!!! Hey Eddie, I know this is a stereotype- but you're not from the South are you?
I needed this, Cheers Eddie,
I needed this,
Cheers Eddie, It's nice to hear more people banging the drum, which I first heard beaten by Bill Maher.
Brilliant
Brilliant
"It's not about pride or ego. It's only about money. I can leave now, even with Grama and KGB... and halfway to paying Petrovsky back. That's the safe play. I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either."
Edmundo Braverman: ou'll
ou'll probably be dead before you ever have to post bail for one of them.
I don't know if it's sad or hilarious that this was pretty much my approach to having kids.
Wow, 60s or 70s? did not
Wow, 60s or 70s? did not know that. Things are looking better than I thought.
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This makes me feel young
This makes me feel young again. At 24, I have already started feeling some pressure to hurry up and settle down.
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Oh boy Eddie, it was only a
Oh boy Eddie, it was only a matter of time before another one of these posts came up!
I was having a chat with an older friend who said, "Dude, the power shift is going to be enormous. Right now, you're the awkward guy, but eventually you're gonna be holding all the cards. Soon, you're gonna be meeting friends after work, still dressed in your jacket and loosened tie from the office that day; there are gonna be girls there, and you're gonna be looking good. It gets better, believe me."
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Hilarious but those guys
Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.
Ha! Yes, this is what I've
Ha! Yes, this is what I've been saying for a while! You put it so eloquently. That's why girls I know start going cray cray, They know they are on the clock.
Fear is the greatest motivator. Motivation is what it takes to find profit.
"Those who are losing now
"Those who are losing now will be later to win."
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Edmundo Braverman: And no,
And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.
I can already hear some of you saying, "But Eddie, what if I want to have kids?". Well, first of all, here's what having kids is like on a good day:
hahah hilarious
I'm happily married, but I'm
I'm happily married, but I'm also in my 30s, and I suppose I can appreciate getting laid an appropriate number of time before you settle down, which is important to those of you still in your 20s. But, let me remind everyone, life isn't just about getting laid, it's also about getting drunk, which is a lot easier when you have someone to split cab fare with or, even better, pick you up at 3am. Just sayin.
"My caddie's chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested."
cheese86: Hilarious but those
Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.
even without being in a frat, those are the years to get the ball rolling not at 29.
Just a sophomore looking for an opportunity to start up this dream of mine.
Having kids when you're 79 is
Having kids when you're 79 is a spectacular idea. You can share diapers with them. Of course if junior prefers Pampers but you're more of a Huggies guy then you might have to compromise by being second in line for a sponge bath.
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
i like these posts.
Falcon: cheese86: Hilarious
whitemamba1309: Falcon: c
"My caddie's chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested."
29 more so.
Why do I get the feeling that
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SirTradesaLot: Why do I get
GS: SirTradesaLot: Why do I
econcomputingCRE: GS: Sir
Under 25 have fun, look for a
had a serious girlfriend at
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AndyLouis: had a serious
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In The
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Couldnt agree more. Lesson
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
Excellent post ! Good advice,
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AndyLouis: had a serious
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MissNG: Couldnt agree more.
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Financier4Hire: Excellent
SirTradesaLot: If you marry a
The Auto Show
huanleshalemei: SirTradesaL
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SirTradesaLot: MissNG: Coul
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
MissNG: SirTradesaLot: Mi
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
SirTradesaLot: MissNG: Coul
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
Going Concern: You could
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Agreed Eddie, I listen to my
I don't see nothing wrong
Baby you're the perfect shape, baby you're the perfect weight. Treat me like my birthday, I want it this way and I want it that way. It makes a man feel good baby.
I have bad news for you
TheKing: AndyLouis: had a
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expenseaccounts: I have bad
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AndyLouis: follow your heart
And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time
rufiolove: expenseaccounts:
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SirTradesaLot: I think the
1/2 of the WSO Bash Brothers
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double post
1/2 of the WSO Bash Brothers
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We all know Bro J did it...
rufiolove: You determine who
expenseaccounts: rufiolove:
1/2 of the WSO Bash Brothers
"Licensed to Ill It"
We all know Bro J did it...