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Mod note: Best of Eddie, this was originally posted on 10/16/12.

We're all familiar with the Friend Zone and what a drag it can be to find yourself there, but today I'm going to share with you a far worse fate and why you must avoid it at all costs: The Marriage Zone. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to TheKing for tipping me off to this hilarious (and searingly accurate) analysis. Consider the following a Public Service Announcement.

What is The Marriage Zone? I'm glad you asked. It's no secret that young women have far greater access to sexual opportunities than their male peers. Young men have to work hard to get laid; young women merely bear the indignity of free drinks while deciding with whom to bump uglies. As both age, however, the dynamic shifts. And at the point where men and women have equal access to sex (his access increasing while hers is decreasing) you find The Marriage Zone.

Most men - average men - can only begin enjoying life at age 29 the way women do at age 19 because it takes them that long to gain the resources women find attractive. The point in life where men's and women's access intersect is the marriage zone. She has to get him to commit in that zone before he realizes that his life is really just starting. My recommendation: she's enjoyed her "wild and free" days, so avoid marriage and go enjoy yours.

As illustrated by the nifty chart, on either side of the Marriage Zone is the Slut Zone and the Player Zone. As you can see, the Player Zone extends at least twice as long as the Slut Zone. The Player Zone is essentially unfettered access to poon as you advance in your career and grow more distinguished in appearance.

So the smart money says to avoid marriage at all costs in your twenties - you'll almost certainly be undervaluing your greatest asset (your freedom). I wish someone had explained this to me when I was that age. I was clueless and got married for the first time at 20. And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.

I can already hear some of you saying, "But Eddie, what if I want to have kids?". Well, first of all, here's what having kids is like on a good day:

Second, what's the rush? As a male you can have kids into your sixties and seventies. And that's probably the best time to do it. You'll probably be dead before you ever have to post bail for one of them.

In summary: if you're in your 20's things are only going to get better for you sex-wise. Not to put it as indelicately as one of the commenters to that post, but men age like wine while women age like milk. You have so few advantages in the battle of the sexes, you'd be a fool to take your greatest advantage and throw it away before you've even enjoyed it.

Just sayin' is all.

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Comments (117)

  • Kenny Powers's picture

    Edmundo Braverman:
    And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.

    I laughed my ass off.

    Overall, perfect analysis and something that makes complete sense when you think about it.

    My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.

  • trazer985's picture

    I needed this,

    Cheers Eddie, It's nice to hear more people banging the drum, which I first heard beaten by Bill Maher.

  • Brimfire's picture

    Edmundo Braverman:
    ou'll probably be dead before you ever have to post bail for one of them.

    I don't know if it's sad or hilarious that this was pretty much my approach to having kids.

  • prospie's picture

    Wow, 60s or 70s? did not know that. Things are looking better than I thought.

  • Boreed's picture

    This makes me feel young again. At 24, I have already started feeling some pressure to hurry up and settle down.

  • In The Flesh's picture

    Oh boy Eddie, it was only a matter of time before another one of these posts came up!

    I was having a chat with an older friend who said, "Dude, the power shift is going to be enormous. Right now, you're the awkward guy, but eventually you're gonna be holding all the cards. Soon, you're gonna be meeting friends after work, still dressed in your jacket and loosened tie from the office that day; there are gonna be girls there, and you're gonna be looking good. It gets better, believe me."

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • cheese86's picture

    Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.

  • shark-monkey's picture

    Ha! Yes, this is what I've been saying for a while! You put it so eloquently. That's why girls I know start going cray cray, They know they are on the clock.

    Fear is the greatest motivator. Motivation is what it takes to find profit.

  • In The Flesh's picture

    "Those who are losing now will be later to win."

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • kraziazi's picture

    Edmundo Braverman:
    And no, she wasn't that blackest of black swans: the deaf-mute nymphomaniac lingerie model who owns a liquor store.

    I can already hear some of you saying, "But Eddie, what if I want to have kids?". Well, first of all, here's what having kids is like on a good day:

    hahah hilarious

    This could be it, sweetheart.

  • mikesswimn's picture

    I'm happily married, but I'm also in my 30s, and I suppose I can appreciate getting laid an appropriate number of time before you settle down, which is important to those of you still in your 20s. But, let me remind everyone, life isn't just about getting laid, it's also about getting drunk, which is a lot easier when you have someone to split cab fare with or, even better, pick you up at 3am. Just sayin.

    "My caddie's chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested."

  • In reply to cheese86
    Falcon's picture

    cheese86:
    Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.

    even without being in a frat, those are the years to get the ball rolling not at 29.

  • Going Concern's picture

    Having kids when you're 79 is a spectacular idea. You can share diapers with them. Of course if junior prefers Pampers but you're more of a Huggies guy then you might have to compromise by being second in line for a sponge bath.

  • In reply to Falcon
    neomanxllp's picture

    Falcon:
    cheese86:
    Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.

    even without being in a frat, those are the years to get the ball rolling not at 29.

    I think the level of girls you are thinking of getting at 21 is pretty different from the level of girl at 29.

  • In reply to neomanxllp
    mikesswimn's picture

    whitemamba1309:
    Falcon:
    cheese86:
    Hilarious but those guys clearly weren't in a frat in college. Access level at 21-22 for a guy should be near a 10.

    even without being in a frat, those are the years to get the ball rolling not at 29.

    I think the level of girls you are thinking of getting at 21 is pretty different from the level of girl at 29.

    This is true, at 21 you have access to 18 & 19 year olds, 29, not so much.

    "My caddie's chauffeur informs me that a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested."

  • SirTradesaLot's picture

    Why do I get the feeling that this story is being told by a bunch of young guys who aren't getting any now, who have hopes and dreams about the future being better than today? If you have trouble getting laid in college, I have bad news for you...you are socially retarded.

    adapt or die:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    GS's picture

    SirTradesaLot:
    Why do I get the feeling that this story is being told by a bunch of young guys who aren't getting any now, who have hopes and dreams about the future being better than today? If you have trouble getting laid in college, I have bad news for you...you are socially retarded.

    Harsh man, harsh. Lots of people are socially retarded at 18 or 19.

  • In reply to GS
    econcomputingCRE's picture

    <a href=http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/company/goldman-sachs rel=nofollow>GS</a>:
    SirTradesaLot:
    Why do I get the feeling that this story is being told by a bunch of young guys who aren't getting any now, who have hopes and dreams about the future being better than today? If you have trouble getting laid in college, I have bad news for you...you are socially retarded.

    Harsh man, harsh. Lots of people are socially retarded at 18 or 19.

    That entirely depends on your peer group.

  • In reply to econcomputingCRE
    GS's picture

    econcomputingCRE:
    <a href=http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/company/goldman-sachs rel=nofollow>GS</a>:
    SirTradesaLot:
    Why do I get the feeling that this story is being told by a bunch of young guys who aren't getting any now, who have hopes and dreams about the future being better than today? If you have trouble getting laid in college, I have bad news for you...you are socially retarded.

    Harsh man, harsh. Lots of people are socially retarded at 18 or 19.

    That entirely depends on your peer group.

    Yes, I believed in saving myself for marriage when I was 18. That belief died pretty fucking fast.

  • TheSquale's picture

    Under 25 have fun, look for a nice job, sexy chicks.
    25-30: look for good opportunities be it in your free time, in your job, with women.
    30-35: Hopefully you will have find someone worth engaging with, marry her, maybe think raising kids.
    35-65: Raise your children and do everything you can to make them happy (hint: doesn't mean raising spoiled children), you should have some $ by now, do something with it, enjoy. You won't take all the cash with you in your grave, and even if you want to there always will be someone who will make sure it doesn't happen.
    65: Sit back and relax, hopefully you will be happy with your life. If not then you have all this years in front of you which you will have nothing to do but trying to fix what went wrong.

  • AndyLouis's picture

    had a serious girlfriend at 26-27.. hit a point where it was a. get more serious with this girl / current job which tied me to Seattle / boredom or b. move to buenos aires / be single / travel the world / work remotely / focus on experiences and lifestyle design / career growth / building a network / having fun.

    guess which one I chose :) - so despite what some of the younger monkeys here say about dreading getting older, the best is yet to come... IF you play your cards right. 27-now have been the best years so far for me.

    Not planning on getting married til late 30s or early 40s (30 now)

  • In reply to AndyLouis
    In The Flesh's picture

    AndyLouis:
    had a serious girlfriend at 26-27.. hit a point where it was a. get more serious with this girl / current job which tied me to Seattle / boredom or b. move to buenos aires / be single / travel the world / work remotely / focus on experiences and lifestyle design / career growth / building a network / having fun.

    guess which one I chose :) - so despite what some of the younger monkeys here say about dreading getting older, the best is yet to come... IF you play your cards right. 27-now have been the best years so far for me.

    Not planning on getting married til late 30s or early 40s (30 now)

    Watch out Andy, dozens of monkeys are going to fly down there to ask you your secrets!

    Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

  • In reply to In The Flesh
    AndyLouis's picture

    In The Flesh:
    AndyLouis:
    had a serious girlfriend at 26-27.. hit a point where it was a. get more serious with this girl / current job which tied me to Seattle / boredom or b. move to buenos aires / be single / travel the world / work remotely / focus on experiences and lifestyle design / career growth / building a network / having fun.

    guess which one I chose :) - so despite what some of the younger monkeys here say about dreading getting older, the best is yet to come... IF you play your cards right. 27-now have been the best years so far for me.

    Not planning on getting married til late 30s or early 40s (30 now)


    ha, maybe i should do a homepage q&a

    Watch out Andy, dozens of monkeys are going to fly down there to ask you your secrets!

  • MissNG's picture

    Couldnt agree more. Lesson for ladies here is: spare yourself the emotional roller coaster; 'on again' 'off again' drama of 25year old guys. If you are 25ish and want a serious relationship (not that you have to want one) you should be dating 35-42. Your youthful appearance and outlook are valued (actually adored) instead of taken for granted; and questioned at every turn. Its just easier; you appreciate each other so much more.

    "Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

  • BatMasterson's picture

    Excellent post ! Good advice, Eddie.

    Another thing people don't realize (since the readers of this are males) is that, when you ask a young girl (<30) what do they like (if they're being honest) they'll tell you older, mature guys. So that's the perspective coming FROM the female camp.

    As far as I'm concerned, you should never get married young. As said, the balance of power shifts to your advantage when older, and you can have your pick.

    Another danger of marrying young is the baggage that often comes with it: divorce, disappointments, alimony, kids. Lots of people are carrying scars like that for the rest of their lives.

    "I like money (as do most females) but love is...great :)"-student
    "Perhaps you've failed to take into account my hidden assets"-007
    Storm: Orig Mix

  • In reply to AndyLouis
    TheKing's picture

    AndyLouis:
    had a serious girlfriend at 26-27.. hit a point where it was a. get more serious with this girl / current job which tied me to Seattle / boredom or b. move to buenos aires / be single / travel the world / work remotely / focus on experiences and lifestyle design / career growth / building a network / having fun.

    guess which one I chose :) - so despite what some of the younger monkeys here say about dreading getting older, the best is yet to come... IF you play your cards right. 27-now have been the best years so far for me.

    Not planning on getting married til late 30s or early 40s (30 now)

    I imagine that making the decision you did was the hardest decision you ever had to make.

  • In reply to MissNG
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    MissNG:
    Couldnt agree more. Lesson for ladies here is: spare yourself the emotional roller coaster; 'on again' 'off again' drama of 25year old guys. If you are 25ish and want a serious relationship (not that you have to want one) you should be dating 35-42. Your youthful appearance and outlook are valued (actually adored) instead of taken for granted; and questioned at every turn. Its just easier; you appreciate each other so much more.

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man. Assuming he doesn't dump you for someone younger first.

    adapt or die:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • In reply to BatMasterson
    cheese86's picture

    Financier4Hire:
    Excellent post ! Good advice, Eddie.

    Another thing people don't realize (since the readers of this are males) is that, when you ask a young girl (<30) what do they like (if they're being honest) they'll tell you older, mature guys. So that's the perspective coming FROM the female camp.

    As far as I'm concerned, you should never get married young. As said, the balance of power shifts to your advantage when older, and you can have your pick.

    Another danger of marrying young is the baggage that often comes with it: divorce, disappointments, alimony, kids. Lots of people are carrying scars like that for the rest of their lives.

    Good for them because we just tell them they're too old for us young bucks anyways.

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    huanleshalemei's picture

    SirTradesaLot:

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man.

    Sir, there is a place called 'rest home'.

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    huanleshalemei:
    SirTradesaLot:

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man.

    Sir, there is a place called 'rest home'.


    Which only heartless spouses would utilize except in the most extreme cases.

    adapt or die:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    MissNG's picture

    SirTradesaLot:
    MissNG:
    Couldnt agree more. Lesson for ladies here is: spare yourself the emotional roller coaster; 'on again' 'off again' drama of 25year old guys. If you are 25ish and want a serious relationship (not that you have to want one) you should be dating 35-42. Your youthful appearance and outlook are valued (actually adored) instead of taken for granted; and questioned at every turn. Its just easier; you appreciate each other so much more.

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man. Assuming he doesn't dump you for someone younger first.

    Erm, Im not sure what you mean by taking care of a 50-60year old man haha. I mean if youre healthy there is no need to have health issues at 50/60... As Eddie said (as a bit of an exaggeration) you can have kids at 70! Im not describing a slob who has been on a strict beer and bacon diet for 30 years.

    Dont get me wrong here; you still need love and all the other stuff; not to just look for a target age to tie the knot with.

    All I mean is that I would rather date an older guy who treats me like gold that a young stud who treats me like crap, because he doesnt know who he is or what he wants and wakes up one day to realize how much fun his friends are having... or like I'm lucky to have snagged him and finds ways to remind me of this wherever possible. I mean, youre supposed to feel lucky to have found eachother; one half of the relationship cant feel as if they've surrendered (I have dated both so this is from experience).

    I imagine having to do some care-taking at 75+ if anything; but I will be 60, and I think a lot of women would agree that if you love eachother, mad eachother happy, and have made it that far, then I would say there are far worse things that could happen than taking care of a spouse you've enjoyed your life with when they need you. Far worse.

    "Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

  • In reply to MissNG
    MissNG's picture

    MissNG:
    SirTradesaLot:
    MissNG:
    Couldnt agree more. Lesson for ladies here is: spare yourself the emotional roller coaster; 'on again' 'off again' drama of 25year old guys. If you are 25ish and want a serious relationship (not that you have to want one) you should be dating 35-42. Your youthful appearance and outlook are valued (actually adored) instead of taken for granted; and questioned at every turn. Its just easier; you appreciate each other so much more.

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man. Assuming he doesn't dump you for someone younger first.

    Erm, Im not sure what you mean by taking care of a 50-60year old man haha. I mean if youre healthy there is no need to have health issues at 50/60... As Eddie said (as a bit of an exaggeration) you can have kids at 70! Im not describing a slob who has been on a strict beer and bacon diet for 30 years.

    Dont get me wrong here; you still need love and all the other stuff; not to just look for a target age to tie the knot with.

    All I mean is that I would rather date an older guy who treats me like gold that a young stud who treats me like crap, because he doesnt know who he is or what he wants and wakes up one day to realize how much fun his friends are having... or like I'm lucky to have snagged him and finds ways to remind me of this wherever possible. I mean, youre supposed to feel lucky to have found eachother; one half of the relationship cant feel as if they've surrendered (I have dated both so this is from experience).

    I imagine having to do some care-taking at 75+ if anything; but I will be 60, and I think a lot of women would agree that if you love eachother, mad eachother happy, and have made it that far, then I would say there are far worse things that could happen than taking care of a spouse you've enjoyed your life with when they need you. Far worse.

    I just got that I'd be 50/60. Got it; sorry about that.

    "Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    Going Concern's picture

    SirTradesaLot:
    MissNG:
    Couldnt agree more. Lesson for ladies here is: spare yourself the emotional roller coaster; 'on again' 'off again' drama of 25year old guys. If you are 25ish and want a serious relationship (not that you have to want one) you should be dating 35-42. Your youthful appearance and outlook are valued (actually adored) instead of taken for granted; and questioned at every turn. Its just easier; you appreciate each other so much more.

    If you marry a guy 15 years older, you virtually guarantee that you will be spending your 50s-60s being the caretaker for an old man. Assuming he doesn't dump you for someone younger first.

    You could always be like Rupert Murdoch, who at 81 years young, is not only viable enough to address zillions of shareholders which he's doing right now, but also married to a woman that is about half his age. Not some bimbo, mind you, she has an MBA! Not too shabby for a third wife. Though when he was 37 years old she was 0 years old. I don't think she takes care of his bodily functions. I think his money does that.

  • In reply to Going Concern
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    Going Concern:
    You could always be like Rupert Murdoch, who at 81 years young, is not only viable enough to address zillions of shareholders which he's doing right now, but also married to a woman that is about half his age. Not some bimbo, mind you, she has an MBA! Not too shabby for a third wife. Though when he was 37 years old she was 0 years old. I don't think she takes care of his bodily functions. I think his money does that.

    Exactly....luckily, nobody and I mean exactly zero people, are laughing behind their backs. Seems 100% legit. True love.

    Also, just think of what she could have done if she went to HBS (instead of no name MBA program)....I think Bill Gates or Carlos Slim wouldn't have been out of the question.

    adapt or die:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • Aaron Burr's picture

    To the finance crowd, this article justifies a young man locking himself in an office from age 22-29, with the hopes that life will be oh-so-much better afterward. It should be required reading for the new Goldman analyst "program."

    Confucius say, not all caterpillars become butterflies

  • Whgm45's picture

    Agreed Eddie, I listen to my coworkers bitch everyday about their married lives and how they were married too young.

    I'm 24 and broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I realized I don't know who I am and what I want yet. People change drastically from 20-30, and who knows if we'll grow together or apart. I'd so much rather establish my career, save money, and experience different things before I'm ready to choose a partner. And this girl was GREAT - 5' 10", beautiful, smart, good family, etc. It was a very difficult choice, but I think that men need to have their 20's to get things sorted out.

    And guys, if you don't get girls now, don't read Eddie's post and come away thinking once you hit 29 and get a little more money you'll suddenly be swimming in poon. You'll still be the same awkward guy you are now. Work on it.

  • R0bin's picture

    I don't see nothing wrong with havin' a kid...

    Baby you're the perfect shape, baby you're the perfect weight. Treat me like my birthday, I want it this way and I want it that way. It makes a man feel good baby.

  • expenseaccounts's picture

    I have bad news for you nerds: If you're not dating girls regularly now, you're not going to get girls later. I've seen this a lot.

    You're going to spend a lot of time on your career now, setting yourself up for the future. You'll go on the occasional date, occasional second date, rare third date; you may hook up with an average looking girl with a somewhat noticeable belly roll a few times a year from a bar or party or something.

    You'll wait, expecting things to get better. You're eventually going to get an occasional busted woman using you for your money while she hooks up with her ex-boyfriend, who incidentally runs a Sports Authority in Hoboken. You'll know guys, who are real people not sacrificing everything for monetary success, who will be dating 25 year old smokeshows, and you'll be the nerdy rich dude with the busted girlfriend in too much makeup. You'll date a few warpigs until you either hang yourself from near-middle-age loneliness, or you'll marry the fourth or fifth. By that time, every stretched, cellulose-ridden part of her will have seen more traffic than your right hand.

    But hey, it could be worse- you could be that young dude with the beautiful young wife.

    Kidding, you couldn't get a girl like that if you drugged her.

  • In reply to TheKing
    AndyLouis's picture

    TheKing:
    AndyLouis:
    had a serious girlfriend at 26-27.. hit a point where it was a. get more serious with this girl / current job which tied me to Seattle / boredom or b. move to buenos aires / be single / travel the world / work remotely / focus on experiences and lifestyle design / career growth / building a network / having fun.

    guess which one I chose :) - so despite what some of the younger monkeys here say about dreading getting older, the best is yet to come... IF you play your cards right. 27-now have been the best years so far for me.

    Not planning on getting married til late 30s or early 40s (30 now)

    I imagine that making the decision you did was the hardest decision you ever had to make.

    yeah i dwelled on it for awhile, postponed the idea once or twice, but I always knew if I didn't take the leap that desire would never stop burning inside me. follow your heart monkeys

  • In reply to expenseaccounts
    rufiolove's picture

    expenseaccounts:
    I have bad news for you nerds: If you're not dating girls regularly now, you're not going to get girls later. I've seen this a lot.

    You'll wait, expecting things to get better. You're eventually going to get an occasional busted woman using you for your money while she hooks up with her ex-boyfriend, who incidentally runs a Sports Authority in Hoboken. You'll know guys, who are real people not desperate for monetary success, who will be dating 25 year old smokeshows, and you'll be the nerdy rich dude with the busted girlfriend.
    But hey- keep living that dream!

    Sounds like you have it all figured out. Good thing that people don't develop and adapt their priorities over time or anything.

    I know that I'm not the same person I was even a few short years ago; I can't even imagine the development in the next 5-10. But of course you're right, that these "nerds" who don't get any now won't ever get any. It couldn't be that this conveniently fits into your worldview that forces anyone who was a late bloomer or has been focused on their career and being successful for a time to have a terrible love life.

    Not very sound logic, but keep on thinking that the guy who owns a Sports Authority has it figured out so much better than anyone else. Couldn't possibly be that he peaked early and that his story never got passed the first few pages.

    You determine who you are going to become, who you are going to spend your time with, and what you are going to accomplish, not some cynic on an internet forum. Be nice to these nerds... they'll likely be the ones handling transaction logistics when your cousin's store gets bought out.

  • In reply to rufiolove
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    rufiolove:
    expenseaccounts:
    I have bad news for you nerds: If you're not dating girls regularly now, you're not going to get girls later. I've seen this a lot.

    You'll wait, expecting things to get better. You're eventually going to get an occasional busted woman using you for your money while she hooks up with her ex-boyfriend, who incidentally runs a Sports Authority in Hoboken. You'll know guys, who are real people not desperate for monetary success, who will be dating 25 year old smokeshows, and you'll be the nerdy rich dude with the busted girlfriend.
    But hey- keep living that dream!

    Sounds like you have it all figured out. Good thing that people don't develop and adapt their priorities over time or anything.

    I know that I'm not the same person I was even a few short years ago; I can't even imagine the development in the next 5-10. But of course you're right, that these "nerds" who don't get any now won't ever get any. It couldn't be that this conveniently fits into your worldview that forces anyone who was a late bloomer or has been focused on their career and being successful for a time to have a terrible love life.

    Not very sound logic, but keep on thinking that the guy who owns a Sports Authority has it figured out so much better than anyone else. Couldn't possibly be that he peaked early and that his story never got passed the first few pages.

    You determine who you are going to become, who you are going to spend your time with, and what you are going to accomplish, not some cynic on an internet forum. Be nice to these nerds... they'll likely be the ones handling transaction logistics when your cousin's store gets bought out.


    I think the problem is, some people think they can do the same thing and expect different results. If you're a nerdy, socially awkward 23 year old and keep doing what you've been doing for 23 years, you will not wake up one day and be a 30 year old bad ass.

    Another concern is if you were nerdy when younger and start making money and THEN start getting attention from women, you will always have the sneaking suspicion that your wife or girlfriend is a gold digger.

    I've read some of your posts about college days, so I know you agree. I tend to agree with expenseaccount that assuming you are at least somewhat together, you shouldn't have too many problems with women, regardless of how young you are.

    adapt or die:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    rufiolove's picture

    SirTradesaLot:

    I think the problem is, some people think they can do the same thing and expect different results. If you're a nerdy, socially awkward 23 year old and keep doing what you've been doing for 23 years, you will not wake up one day and be a 30 year old bad ass.

    Another concern is if you were nerdy when younger and start making money and THEN start getting attention from women, you will always have the sneaking suspicion that your wife or girlfriend is a gold digger.

    I've read some of your posts about college days, so I know you agree. I tend to agree with expenseaccount that assuming you are at least somewhat together, you shouldn't have too many problems with women, regardless of how young you are.

    That's a pretty fair assessment. I agree with that sentiment for the most part. Maybe some of these kids are looking at "making it" in this industry as their ticket to being successful with women, and if that is the case then we're all in agreement that they are going to be disappointed. But I also know a fair amount of dudes who weren't necessarily socially awkward in college but definitely weren't getting the attention from women that they are now, primarily because they were studying hard (probably too hard in my opinion) to make sure they could break into their chosen path and now that they have gotten onto that track it's very different. My main point is that it takes a lot of work for a man to change his stars so to speak. I know that for me, navigating the social aspect of life and earning the respect of peers came way easier than the number crunching and academic discipline because I just never cared that much about it.

    I think the key to note is that yes these kids aren't going to just immediately get better with women because they get money, but what is probably likely to happen for the kids who weren't all that awkward but just didn't have the traits that chicks in college were looking for (weren't a gym rat, weren't a frat bro, didn't have that the cool gene, etc.) is that what women are looking for will change. Even the douchebag who got girls in college has to adapt post college because women are looking for a more refined version.

    Long story short, I'm just saying don't write off the underdog just because he took a little longer to get there. There are certainly some who are lost causes because they think that money will fix everything, but there are also the guys who just didn't have what girls were looking for then because girls at that age don't make any sense.

  • In reply to rufiolove
    expenseaccounts's picture

    rufiolove:
    You determine who you are going to become, who you are going to spend your time with, and what you are going to accomplish. not some cynic on an internet forum. Be nice to these nerds... they'll likely be the ones handling transaction logistics when your cousin's store gets bought out.

    Who are you, Hannah Montana? You may change around the edges (probably literally, as in adding weight), but research has shown that people's personalities, worldviews, and habits are largely set by early 20s.

    You're obviously trying to convince yourself that losing your v-card at 21 and dating three-four average harpies a year isn't going to lead to a life full of loneliness and Vaseline. It's not, necessarily, but in terms of probability it's above 90%.

    If you're in your early to mid twenties, the way you are now is largely the way you're going to be later, barring special cases or testosterone shots. Sorry to be the voice of your slow, sinking realization for you today.

  • In reply to expenseaccounts
    rufiolove's picture

    expenseaccounts:
    rufiolove:
    You determine who you are going to become, who you are going to spend your time with, and what you are going to accomplish. not some cynic on an internet forum. Be nice to these nerds... they'll likely be the ones handling transaction logistics when your cousin's store gets bought out.

    Who are you, Hannah Montana? You may change around the edges (probably literally, as in adding weight), but research has shown that people's personalities, worldviews, and habits are largely set by early 20s.

    You're obviously trying to convince yourself that losing your v-card at 21 and dating three-four average harpies a year isn't going to lead to a life full of loneliness and Vaseline. It's not, necessarily, but in terms of probability it's above 90%.

    If you're in your early to mid twenties, the way you are now is largely the way you're going to be later, barring special cases or testosterone shots. Sorry to be the voice of your slow, sinking realization for you today.

    Ha ok chief

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