1st Year Asking Out 2nd Year??
At BB doing coverage. Was at some analyst work thing and briefly met a girl that was a 2nd year. Blew the eyes right off my head. She was very sarcastic in a fuck you way and I loved it and from first moment I knew I had to get this girl's number to even just chat it up some more. Didn't ask for it because it felt wrong (also new to the workplace). if we were in college I'd have done it on the spot. Was going to send an email asking to connect to learn more about her group saying I found her perspective interesting or some shit and make the ask then but honestly shitting bricks about asking out a peer. She's in a different group, but our team does work with the product group she's in but I've never seen her email pop up in any chain I've been on. How do I play this? Just try to build a friendship slowly and see? I found her IG and she only has like 400 followers so this is a win folks. This is just waiting for a kill. Help me out big ballers. This is one of those TV moments.
Logical advice - don't do this, unless you're willing to lose your career.
that's what every bone in my body is saying. at this point the only thing worth doing is just try to be friends and approach it from a work angle to just get FaceTime. sad but true
Not every “bone” in your body. One clearly is saying the opposite. ;)
Weird how you found her insta and psychoanalyses her with a follower count.
how is it weird to find someone's instagram if it's just their name... also follower count speaks volumes bro. IFYKYK and if you don't know now you know
In the words of Kyle, she "a girlie he can get 'cause she don't get too many likes"
Its not about that, its about a correlation at least I and the commenter above have found: many followers and/or an unbalanced ratio (i.e., anything above the 1.3 follower-followed ratio) will translate into extreme narcissistic/entitled behavior. And thats a big no when looking for a partner
You're either old, not actively dating young attractive women, or you get no girls.
he's all 3 brother
Over ~1500 followers and she's for the streets. Unwritten rule.
Definitely ahahahaha
And now you put it on a public forum that's very popular within the IB space.
Bravo retard
Send her a calendar invite for a date friday night
ah the nuclear option. the temptation to do this is overwhelming. love it.
do NOT do this bro 😭😭
Love the creativity though.
I would not do this IMO. Too much risk.
maybe ask to grab coffee or lunch to ask about her group, innocuous enough - but I would not just downright ask her out. If you must, try to keep it casual over a long period of time (think friendship) and see if she escalates at all
associate 3 with the fatherly advice. exactly. thanks champ
^This is the way, have had much success
Man life is short. And made even shorter by IB hours. Just do it we all love the drama anyway
Yes, coffee is the way
Plus if she has any brains at all she'll understand what you are looking for. Look, I don't work in IB but how often do you guys actually ask older peers in other groups for 1-on-1s?
Don’t stick your pen in Company ink
Clearly someone missed the memo on why the company went out of its way to buy so many ink vials. Diversity intiatives do in part have a purpose.
(Please don't kill me, ladies. It was too funny not to write it.)
don’t shit where you eat
Just find a nice college girl to date....
how do you meet college girls after you graduate ?
Bro college girls are not dating material…
That’s the last thing you want
Get your MF PE offer and tell her about it and she will automatically come running to you, boss move
The girls in ECM were always the most attractive right?
can confirm ECM girls are not it. source: I'm an ECM chick
Statistically one or both of you will be gone in the next year or two (lateral, exit, quit, etc.).
Ask to grab lunch or coffee to connect (Hey, noticed you were at that event, don't know a ton of folks in your group, can we grab coffee / lunch to chat, I'd love to learn more), build a friendship and see what happens naturally.
Not knocking you but the odds of something going wrong by outright asking her out are astronomical (she could just not be into you, already have a SO, could've drawn her own line in the sand and refuses to date at all in the workplace, etc.).
Safe play is to wait till one of you leaves the bank in a year or two.
Obviously you run the risk that she gets taken...
LMFAO what does 400 followers on insta say about ANYTHING about her?
If she got a lot she belong to the skreets
Pollo knows
Yea, kinda, but still, lmfaoooo
Dating someone based on how many insta followers they have might be one of the dumbest fucking things I’ve read so far on this site.
But also the fact that OP even make this post in the first place says a lot about his critical thinking skills
What if she has a multi million Snapchat score?
Anything more than 1k and she belongs on the streets (95% probability)
Not sure though about a couple hundred, what's your experience been with that?
It’s very easy to flirt via teams/slack/skype in a plausibly deniable way. If that goes well and she’s into it, just ask her on a date etc. and just it from there. I don’t think there’s meaningful career risks considering you’re both analysts and in different groups.
amen to everything but over teams? always get nervous to chat up people on teams about anything personal since ik bank is watching
Lol WSO really is full of risk averse nerds. OP I promise you nobody gives a single fuck about an AN1 dating an AN2. Those kind of rules are in place to prevent MD / AN type relationships with a clear power dynamic and conflicts of interest.
Lmao even thinking of an MD/AN relationship is weird as fuck lol. The MD could be the AN's dad
MDs have married analysts, I know of at least 3 couples that came about that way
100% correct
if not risking your job and reputation in the industry as a 1st year in a recession due to an HR complaint is being "socially retarded" then sure
I hope he’s talking about OP…
The joke writes itself
OP you don't know anything about this woman. You think she's hot and had one good convo with her. And now you wanna risk your career over asking her out, not knowing if she's even single?
Please do it and report back
I'm going to go the lunch route. just try and make a friend for a while and see the situation out. This is window shopping. Will circle back in 1 years time. Just marked it on my calendar.
It’s as simple as this. Just ask her to grab lunch. See where it goes. As long as you don’t do anything shady and can determine that she’s not crazy, it will be fine. Banks don’t really care if peers date, and you are in different groups. I know analysts from the same group who are now married. They just kept it low key. We knew, but they kept it professional at the office.
Run into the Starbucks downstairs and go from there. More common than stated above. Some works. Some doesn’t.
yeah i would just try to get confirmation that she's feelin you too. if so then easier, but just asking straight up is too risky
Just ask her out after the layoffs are done
How thirsty are you that you want to date in the workplace?
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
OP here - If you ask me on 9.999 million days out of 10 million days, I would tell you no chance would I ever even think about talking something up in the office. However, I'm drawn to cool people. People with stories and people who I believe are not "institutional". She fits the bill. I am not just sending a calendar invite. I'm going to just go for coffee and try and be friends. If it becomes nothing than so be it. Definitely not going to start pushing it in a direction. Just seeing the type of person she is. Even if this were another guy I wanted to mentor me, I wouldn't just run up and email and ask. I'd go to lunch and feel out if he would even do that. similar situation here
Go for it, king
Ok, fair enough. Ultimately it's your life and not ours so it's up to you.
Don't do it. Not worth risking your career over some average girl.
You have a scarcity mindset. Women are abundant, just find another girl outside the workplace.
Can attest there's a LOT of fish (but also pollution) in the sea.
It has helped my career so far to serial date MDs. Nothing like a good pls fix in the bedroom.
99% certain that this is a HS kid double replying to comments as anon.
This is so cute. Go for it kid
WSO has a lot of beta males who won’t even stand up for themselves in the slightest manner.
People who are saying this will ruin your career are simply wrong… something like 20% of married couples met at work. It’s obviously not as high in a large city like NYC, but it certainly happens.
Go for it, but just make sure to not approach her like you’d do at a bar.
I’d send her an email or Teams message to the effect of:
Hi X,
I enjoyed our conversation at the analyst event particularly when we spoke about Y [Bonus points if you have something specific]. As a recent starter in the bank it’s nice to meet other juniors who work at the bank. I’d like to learn more about your group and getting adjusted to NYC as a junior and was wondering if you have any time in the next week to chat over lunch or coffee.
[Whatever greeting you use],
A
The “getting adjusted to NYC as a junior “ line Is already setting up the wiggle room that the conversation isn’t going to be entirely work related and you plan to have a casual conversation as well.
Based on that, make sure to follow up and ask for lunch again or if you’re feeling confident take it to dinner / drinks on the weekend / evening. You don’t need to frame it as a date but by the 2nd / 3rd interaction as you transition away from work settings she’ll get the memo and hopefully you are an enjoyable enough guy for things to work out.
yo you a real one playa. will use this 100p
Seriously. If you two work in different groups, report to different people and there's no overlap that could be construed as conflict of interest? Go for it. I get why people threw up the supposedly obligatory "don't dip your pen in company ink" type comments, but Tyson also pointed out that "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." Dating coworkers happened to me a couple of times...ok...a handful of times. But no one gave a good {fill in the rest in Ice Cube or Samuel L. Jackson's voice}.
Don't be creepy obviously, but just chat to her a bit and say "Hey, I don't know if you had lunch plans, but I need to get out of here for a bit and wanted to pick up our conversation in a more casual spot." Don't even wrap yourself around the pole of thinking you have to pay for everything, or setting exact time and place or whatever. If she has any like of you, the worst would be "I appreciate that! But I have a group lunch today, but how about tomorrow?" You're still in it to win it. I mean Jesus, have none of you seen how it really goes down?!
And IncomingIBDreject is co-rrect that it starts with a lunch in a casual setting where you can leave work at the door and talk about goofy crap like why did they name an entire breed of dog shih-tzu if just to mess with english speakers. Then that turns into "hey did you hear about the xyz concert this weekend? I was thinking about going but my friend backed out. I don't suppose you're into them too and would want to go?" Or the hockey game, basketball, etc. Even if it's the local D-league teams because those are fun as hell. Worst case, she says no and you just began a new conversation to explore other ideas.
Harden the fuck up WSO.
Disagree, this is an awesome way to further complicate an already delicate matter by blurring lines even more between romance and friend zone. Simply beating around the bush.
Can't use this scheme now thats it out in the open.
This will never go to the “friend zone”” because at some point the OP is obviously going to ask the girl out. The purpose of what I wrote though is to transition the relationship between the two from professional to platonic friends before OP asks her out which makes it a lot less awkward.
I’m not sure what you mean by the template not being able to be used anymore because my comment was simply how to transition away from the professional feel. It doesn’t have to be used for romantic purposes. Also, what I wrote is fairly generic. With a bit of personalization based on the bank, intern event, etc. it goes a long way.
How often should I follow up? Is a monthly catch-up too much (difference in age is probably 1-2 years). Thx
Age difference isn’t relevant if you aren’t a direct report.
For the frequency, you need to bring the frequency down each time. There will come a point where she will notice something is up and you can’t avoid this crossover. Scheduling meetings once every 2 months conveniently avoids the crossover, but then she’ll never know you’re interested at all, and girls don’t respect guys who don’t show interest.
I’d start at 3 weeks - 1 month but then you have to decrease the time span to 2 weeks after a few times. You also have to change the venue from a professional lunch to drinks. The first time you do 2 weeks later and drinks will be a bit awkward but that’s an unavoidable part of cold approaching. A lot of modern men get afraid to do this last step and stay as an orbiter (which you were going to be with your monthly+ meetups) and get nowhere. You’ve done your best to ease the setting away from the workplace in the first 3 or so meetups. Then it has to go off work, more frequent and in settings that are clearly unrelated to work.
“I found her perspective interesting or some shit”
Lmfaoooooooooo. Bro you made me laugh
Dude go for it. Who gives a shit you're a junior employee. One or both of you will have exited in a few years. Just don't do anything crazy.
Please do us all a favor and just whip your little soldier out in front of her while doing the willy wonka :)
Every female second year BB analyst checking there follower count rn
OP here - it's all osmosis remember
OP out here sending smoke signals via WSO
osmosis
The instagram follower thing should be added to the holy bro-ble
Don't shit where you eat
On your death bed, you will regret not asking this girl out. Just do it.
Edit: Made an updated version for ya'll.
rofl
Just know that if she's not receptive or things fizzle out, it may become awkward for you and possibly close colleagues (especially as you network internally). You would give HR an easy reason to give you a hard time.
It would be tough to ever go back to "normal", once you reach the point of no return (i.e. make a move).
A friend of mine was asked out by a colleague when he (the colleague) resigns. Thought it was clean and reasonable and my friend actually agreed to go out with him. If you intend to just do your two years, it doesn't hurt to maintain a profession relationship till you leave the firm.
Evaluate everything based on risk / reward:
Risk -Somebody else said this but nobody gives a fuck about 1st and 2nd year employees dating each other. Especially if in different groups. Especially if you've never even had a work (non social) interaction.So if you like each other - there is absolutely no problem at all!If you try to ask her out and fail - it will be awkward. Your worst downside is deal w awkward (which nobody cares about)!
Reward -You find a way to chat: email, teams - in a friendly fun way - NOT "Tell me about your group" (that is an awful awful way to go).Start off fun and funny if the dialogue keeps going then you know you got something to work with. If it keeps going well then plan a lunch. If that goes well then ask her out. Can't go wrong with this.And if it works out that you get a gf - then it's fucking awesome!Biggest downside is "it's awkward when I see that chick once a quarter". Upside is you got a great girl.Do it! Risk / Reward is very much in your Favor.
Just don't do anything stupid like be mean or make her uncomfortable with not taking no for an answer.
Never dip your pen in company ink.
if you want to be respected by everyone involved, probably her too, ask her out after one of you leaves. it's going to be within the next 1-2 years anyway.
Word of caution on the "becoming friends first" approach: Since she's hot and smart she probably gets approached all the time, and probably more guys than you can count have tried the "friends" approach to shoot their shot. It's very tiring and it makes some women lose all respect for you, particularly if she was never into you in the first place
ill say it one more time
these kinda things only work in an office setting if there is strong MUTUAL attraction from the get go, which there clearly isnt here otherwise you wouldnt be asking
Never seen advice so off base
I've dated colleagues / clients who have asked me out and this is 100% spot on.
It worked only for them because I was already attracted to them to start with, but it's not like they had any clue that I reciprocated (I'm usually friendly to people in general for the sake of networking). Both were pretty surprised when they found out that I did.
How can you say there “clearly isn’t” mutual attraction??
You have no clue and neither does OP until he tries to get something going.
Go get her!! If you think she’s the shit, I say go for it rnrn. Be friendly first, though—feel her out before you try anything.
I would ask her out, but you gotta do more research. Fewer followers is a good thing, but that could also mean she is more reserved with who she hangs out and is much more disciplined. Do you know her true personality? Is she religious? Look up Facebook, VSCO, who she Links on Linkedin.... find her college/high school and any posts/yearbooks that associate her or her friends. With that info you will be more confident in your approach.
Shoot for the stars OP. She's not in your group and doesn't have the same boss. Worst that can happen is she says no (unless you're a total creep about it). Life is too short!
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