Advice on Coffee chat emails

Hi all!

I have a question about the email you send asking for a coffee chat.
Right now I'm in the process of cold emailing Alumni from my school directory and asking them for a coffee chat.

I want to break into IBD and thus would want to speak to people from my school that did that.
I do, however, have problems with the content of the emails asking for a coffee chat.

I understand that people in IBD are incredibly busy, and as a student trying to break into IBD I simply have not much to offer them in return besides my enthusiasm and sincere interest in their job and experiences.

I know that an email requesting a coffee chat needs to be short and concise so it won't take up much of that person's time, but on the other side it feels a bit blunt to write a very short email to an alumni that I don't know personally and asking for a little bit of their time...

Does anyone have some tips on writing coffee chat emails?

Right now I'm going with a short:
'Why you?' (I read your profile in my school directory, I am interested in your job field)
'Who am I?' (Student, very short description of my previous experience in finance)
and 'It would be great to ask you some questions over a quick cup of coffee'

Any tips from people that did write a lot of emails like that or are at the receiving end of these kind of emails?

Much appreciated guys!!