Becky Is Paradise
It’s 8:47 a.m. and I roll out of my 1-bedroom in NoHo that Daddy still covers most of the rent on because “networking events are expensive, sweetie.” My Stanley is already filled with the perfect ⅓ ice, ⅓ vanilla oat milk cold brew, ⅓ ✨manifestation energy✨.
I slip into my Lululemon Align set (the buttery soft one that makes my ass look like it bench-presses spreadsheets), throw on the Canada Goose puffer even though it’s 58 degrees, and head to the office. No 6 a.m. arrival for me—I’m on the 9:30–5:30 “core hours” flex schedule that HR Tiffany fought for after we cried together in the bathroom about microaggressions last quarter.
I log in at 9:42. My inbox has 3 new emails:
1. MD: “Becky can you take lead on the CIM updates for Project Snowflake?” Translation: Do literally everything while I golf. I reply with “Happy to help! 🥰 Just looping in our stellar summer intern to support.”
2. Coverage VP: “Thoughts on comp?” I send back my standard deck: slide 1 = crying-laughing emoji + “we deserve more”, slide 2 = blurry photo of me at SoulCycle, slide 3 = vague threat about posting on Fishbowl. He promotes the message to “read later.”
3. The group chat with the other Beckys: “Girls new Louboutins dropped. Who’s in for the group buy so we can expense them as ‘client entertainment’?”
17 thumbs-up reactions in 90 seconds. Paradise.
11:15 a.m. — time for my second coffee run. I “WFH” from the Equinox café while “reviewing” the model. The 24-year-old associate who actually built it DMs me: “Hey, any feedback on the LBO sensitivies?” I reply “Looks great! Just make the IRR pop more 💅” and heart-react his message. He thanks me for the guidance.
1:30 p.m. — team lunch at Carbone. I order the spicy rigatoni vodka and post an Instagram story with the caption “living my best work-wife era 🍝✨ #GirlBoss #FinanceTok”. 47 likes from other girls in banking, 3 fire emojis from thirsty analysts who will never get promoted over me.
3:00 p.m. — performance review season. My manager (male, mid-30s, balding, bitter) tries to give “constructive” feedback about “ownership” and “late deliverables.” I tilt my head, do the soft-voice thing: “I’m so sorry if I’ve come across that way… I just want to make sure I’m being set up for success.” Tears well up on command. He backpedals, says I’m “a rockstar” and bumps my bonus 12%.
5:12 p.m. — I “log off” but stay on Teams green for optics. Meanwhile I’m already at Barry’s Bootcamp, ass in the air doing hip thrusts while thinking about how I’ll casually mention my “boundaries” in the next all-hands. The instructor yells “Last 10 seconds — make it hurt!” I whisper to myself, “That’s what she said to the MD last night.”
Midnight. Back in bed scrolling Hinge. Bio: “Bulge-bracket girly who loves big… exits 😏”. 47 new likes, mostly from prop traders and crypto degens. I match with a Citadel SWE making 450k TC. He opens with “ur so hot for finance lol”. I reply “thx babe, wanna fund my next Birkin? 👜”
Becky isn’t just surviving finance. Becky is thriving in a system built to reward performative mediocrity wrapped in blonde highlights and emotional blackmail. Every day I wake up and choose violence… against productivity. And the boys just keep paying for it.
Becky is paradise.
Becky is a Scotia or TD girlie. Don’t forget the wine inclusive emotional therapy sessions with married MDs.
Becky likes TD staffers, TD staffers like Becky.
Becky is ambitious. It’s either MD Daddy or nothing. All this while Becky has an official bf
Replace TD with RBC because of the recent layoff fiasco lmao
We must be thinking of the same people.
Is this what Canada has come to
Why are you even surprised
noones surprised
this post is just cringe as fuck
There are no SWEs in Canada making that much
Wrong post dipshit
DEI Beckie rant about wage gap and the patriarchy incoming
Their idea of building a close relationship with MD is letting him take her home drunk after social events
AI backed misogyny rage stories… bomboclot.
All the DEI Beckies throwing MS lol
Grandmas from VersaFi were losing their shit on LinkedIn when news came in that GS is eliminating DEI from board selection. We have normalized handouts for women far too long
With or without DEI, that is still going to happen as long as there are powerful men who want to sleep with women in their 20s.
For example: I knew a very powerful man at my firm who was anything but liberal and his interview process was literally just a bunch of dates with him. I'll let you guess who passed those rounds
Believe it or not, it takes two to tango. The women involved in these situationships are equality guilty and should be held accountable. Can’t pull a “me too” decade down the line when they conveniently chose to sleep their way up the ladder. Unless you are indicating that women are not grow up adults and lack self-control.
Bruh what industry you in
Who in the right mind would marry a woman like that unless you aim to be cu*k
sounds like your typical becky from GS FIG or CRG
You forgot the part, where they become influencers. "My day working in investment banking..." or "This is how to get hired at one of the top investment banks...!
PWM interns’ “day in investment banking”
Some of these MDs have confused mentorship with grooming
I don't know a Becky. but I hate her already. Well done. Top tier rage bait.
Reminds me of this girl on insta who posts about living the big life in PE but actually works in investor relations
Dude Ik exactly who you're talking about lmao. Cannot stand those types of videos
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