Being gay/out in banking?
Curious to hear how being gay is like in the banking world right now? any particular banks less open-minded? Would love to hear how it is like for people in the industry now (bad/good)
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You can still make out with the homies and not be gay. It's only gay if you like it. I'm not gay but I secretly like it.
Keep it to yourself. Any career advantage you think you'll get will disappear very fast when push comes to shove. This is private stuff so keep it private.
This is a lie. There was an openly gay director on my team where I interned. A strong LGBT group/society or whatever you want to call it too.
Citi is probably the most friendly bank, pretty diverse all around.
Suit yourself. I'm keeping my private life private. Sure, I talk about sexual stuff with my colleagues at times, but they have no right to know about my girlfriends or dates. In a weird way, our modern world makes the latter more intimate than the former, at least to me.
I mean, I agree with you, I don't think people should be shoving their private lives here there and everywhere, gay or otherwise. I'm just saying that if its such a big part of them (ik a lot of gay people do), then I don't think that they'd face pushback and sly comments anymore. But idk, maybe someone who is gay in banking can comment better, im just talking from anecdotal observation.
I'm not quite sure how to interpret your second-to-last sentence. That gays face pushback comes from the fact that they advertise their unnatural behaviour openly and proudly. Me and the missus used to do stuff in bed that'd make a prostitute blush, but do I tell everyone in the office? Do I run around and create clubs for people like me? Hell no, I keep it behind closed doors, where only God can see it. And that's how society has always functioned. Some things simply should not be out in the open.
As you'll see in threads like these, unfortunately some people in the industry clearly have a problem with gay people.
But honestly that's their problem to deal with. You'll be fine openly out at pretty much any major bank
Lol what even is a "gay issue"
I'm openly gay and nobody at my office cares at all. Sometimes it can get a little awkward when only guys are around and they talk about dating or having sex. When this happens I try to leave the room instead of jumping in and saying "yeah I love sucking cock!" even though that's what I desperately want to do
9/10 when someone thinks this will be an issue it is because you are the problem and have some underlying mental issue/compulsion to “embrace your sexuality.” No one gives a shit, and it’ll only be a problem if your entire personality is centered around being gay and letting everyone know.
If your just a normal guy and have normal conversations with people, there will not be a problem unless you have some need to show that you’re “out” in every topic, meeting, and discussion. I worked with someone like this, and even on completely irrelevant topics he would preface what he said with “as a gay man.” Guy obviously ended up being a burnout/gone after eventually showing up with painted nails, make up, and constantly flirting with people. If I were a banking client who had someone like that come into a call or know that they are leading buyer calls like that, I would take my business somewhere else; not because the guy is gay, but because it is completely unprofessional and lacks any sort of self awareness.
Obviously some guy coming in and talking about how he loves women, has only straight sex, and keeps bringing up his “straightness” to everyone deserves to get shit on and fired. The same should go for any gay/lesbian doing the same bullshit in the workplace.
Ah yes, Analyst 1, the arbitrator of decency.
I’m a PE associate now, just haven’t bothered updating my title.
In no way am I telling gay people how to act; it’s simply true that if you’re going into finance (or any other career that requires professionalism) and make “being gay” your entire persona, you’re not going to do well and lots of people are not going to like you. Plus, if that’s your entire personality you are seriously one-dimensional and probably a net negative to any IB that may accept you.
It’s not because people are homophobic (granted there will be people like that, compounding the negative effect), it’s because it’s completely idiotic to make everyone around you know it 24/7. I don’t tell other associates or my superiors that I want to bang women; it’s simply irrelevant to the job and you should be fired for doing that whether you are gay or straight.
All I’m saying here is that you should act and look like a normal, respectable person, otherwise you should go find a dead-end job where all the other people who share a similar mindset eventually end up.
If you're in NYC or SF, you're probably treated better being openly gay than being a conservative.
I'm a masculine gay and its been a little rough navigating the corporate landscape where you constantly have to correct others perception of you. The flamboyant annoying ones are what most people think of when you picture a homosexual. The "normal" gays like me (think Jared Polis, Pete Buttigieg, Peter Thiel, Dave Rubin, etc) are usually the types that end up in high paying corporate jobs and keep to themselves. It's a challenge because if you start correcting everyone all of the time then you start wearing your sexuality on your sleeve and it gets awkward.
I personally haven't come out in professional settings because:
1) Women typically won't believe you because you're masculine and "straight presenting". They'll ask weird ass questions to vet you out whereas they will befriend the rainbow gays and drop their guards immediately. Even if they befriend you they'll start treating you like one of the girls and want to talk about men together. Yikes
2) Straight men act different around you once they know and have their guard up. They'll be nice enough to your face but will make dick-sucking jokes behind your back. You'll never be "one of the bros"
3) Token diversity. Employers will pretend to be interested in you and your life story and will ask you to step up on their "diversity representation" when everyone treats it like a joke
4) Having to explain myself. I can't admit I stayed out partying at the gay bars and flying to gay events on the weekends because I'll get asked weird questions about my "lifestyle". (tOp oR BoTtOm??????)
Those reasons above have made me feel like I don't belong literally anywhere and it's so much easier to just avoid all of that by being discreet and secretive in a professional setting and just live my life outside of work.
I think one of his main points is that people have a pre-conceived notion of gays as rainbow wearing, flamboyant people and he has to go super far out of his way to avoid other people automatically type-casting him as that.
I should be more careful when saying my MD bent me over this weekend with comments