Being gay/out in banking?

Keep it to yourself. Any career advantage you think you'll get will disappear very fast when push comes to shove. This is private stuff so keep it private.

I think it depends on whether said person is “straight” acting or not. We have a handful of gay dudes in the office and it’s not a thing. Everyone knows they have partners and it’s widely accepted  - and this is in the South. they like sports and can shoot the shit.
 

I think it would be more of a cultural clash if they were super feminine, and even then it would probably be fine in the workplace but I could see it being weird with clients, depending on industry coverage. 

These days it's very acceptable. I know of a gay MD and he is very successful, does a lot of diversity work and is publicly out and hasn't impacted his revenue generation in a very stodgy industry area. Also several gay juniors and people are overall very respectful. This is at a BB with a strong diversity emphasis but I think most banks are pretty reasonable at this point.

I'm sure you have come across bigots in your life and you may run into such people in banking too. But the overwhelming majority will be welcoming and not care.

It’s actually bonus till end of your associate years. You could do nothing and coast and people will be afraid to call you out 

The overwhelming majority of people do not give a single shit about your personal life.  The few that do can fuck off.  

Marrying some of BigKahunaBanker🏄🍹🍔 thoughts with a more laid back approach.

Honestly, have not seen any discrimination for gay people in finance. Feel free to tell others. That said, approach the subject like a straight person would approach talking about his marriage. If someone asks me what I did this weekend, I tell them that I watched a movie with my wife. I do not share any intimate details or any opinions on sex in general at the office (not even with "the guys". It's just not necessary in a professional setting)

As long as you're not kind of person trying to make everything into a "gay issue" no one cares, activism in the workplace of any kind is annoying, don't be that person. For the most part people keep their personal lives to themselves, gay or otherwise.

Honestly I work under an MD who is openly gay and no one really cares. I will say that you have to be a bit patient as most people can be insensitive with comments (i.e., may joke about something being “gay”). If this does not bother you then I would let it go. If, logically, it does, then I would advice you to let them know in private and only escalate/ be open if they are clearly not trying to be better.

I'm openly gay and nobody at my office cares at all. Sometimes it can get a little awkward when only guys are around and they talk about dating or having sex. When this happens I try to leave the room instead of jumping in and saying "yeah I love sucking cock!" even though that's what I desperately want to do

9/10 when someone thinks this will be an issue it is because you are the problem and have some underlying mental issue/compulsion to “embrace your sexuality.” No one gives a shit, and it’ll only be a problem if your entire personality is centered around being gay and letting everyone know.

If your just a normal guy and have normal conversations with people, there will not be a problem unless you have some need to show that you’re “out” in every topic, meeting, and discussion. I worked with someone like this, and even on completely irrelevant topics he would preface what he said with “as a gay man.” Guy obviously ended up being a burnout/gone after eventually showing up with painted nails, make up, and constantly flirting with people. If I were a banking client who had someone like that come into a call or know that they are leading buyer calls like that, I would take my business somewhere else; not because the guy is gay, but because it is completely unprofessional and lacks any sort of self awareness.

Obviously some guy coming in and talking about how he loves women, has only straight sex, and keeps bringing up his “straightness” to everyone deserves to get shit on and fired. The same should go for any gay/lesbian doing the same bullshit in the workplace.

In this day and age I find it almost unfathomable for a queer individual to experience prejudice in the workplace, including IB. Most if not all firms have diversity outreach programs that actively try recruit queer employees. If someone were to say anything derogatory towards a queer coworker, that person would be seriously reprimanded if not fired. 

TLDR; unless you somehow end up in the most toxic group possible, you won't have any issues at all

Ok so my take here this might be long:

I was a summer analyst (Ik I was an intern but still) this year in NYC at a MM bank. They’re know for a great culture and was able to feel that right of the gate.

I’m bisexual and my boyfriend was working on the east coast in another city. I was nervous to mention anything regarding this part of me since my dad basically scared me not to say anything to anyone since it might affect if I get hired full time. Not the best advice to give to your son…

Anyways for the 4th of July I was going to visit him and the only real time I ever mentioned him was when they asked what I was doing for the holiday. Every conversation went like this:

“Hey so what are you doing for the 4th”

“I’m going to (city) should be fun I haven’t been in a while”

“Sick! Who are you visiting do you have family or friends down there?”

“Actually my boyfriend works down there for the summer etc etc”

“Ohh nice that’s great I bet that’ll be a fun trip”

My approach in a corporate setting was never make my sexuality my personality because as said before it can just rub people the wrong way. Idc if people embrace this more openly than others but that’s just not me. I was more conversational about my S/O with the other interns but only brought it up when relevant. Seemed to have worked in my favor so if this is helpful then that’s great.

Anyone else always feel free to DM me Ik this stuff can be tough!

If you're in NYC or SF, you're probably treated better being openly gay than being a conservative.

At a BB, took me months to find out we have a few gay people on the team. Couldn't really tell because I never interacted with the LGBTQ. They're very low-key about it, and not many flamboyant personalities. Had uncomfortable occasions where a few have tried to hit on me, but I guess this is the world we live in now. Interactions are solid overall

I worked at GS and Citi 20 years ago. We had semi-open/openly gay people in both of my groups. There were people who advertised it and others who just showed up and did their job. It wasn't hostile to either group but the latter folks rose up the ranks more quickly for sure. Work shouldn't be about your personal life, and if you don't make it about that, no one cares. One semi-out colleague was my go-to for good restaurant openings, culture, etc., and we double dated a bunch with my now wife and his husband. He never advertised anything, but he never hid it either...he was also an awesome colleague. I think the big takeaway from even many years ago - he didn't make a big deal of it nor did anyone else. He was judged on his work performance. 

Hasn't mattered for the last 15 years. Since old, young, rich, poor, stupid, smart, white, black, conservative, liberal all have the same chance of being gay, there isn't really a stigma/anti bias imo. If, separately, you care about liberal vs conservative that is another thing entirely and you can self pick based on that.

It is way harder to be a woman for instance 

I'm a masculine gay and its been a little rough navigating the corporate landscape where you constantly have to correct others perception of you. The flamboyant annoying ones are what most people think of when you picture a homosexual. The "normal" gays like me (think Jared Polis, Pete Buttigieg, Peter Thiel, Dave Rubin, etc) are usually the types that end up in high paying corporate jobs and keep to themselves. It's a challenge because if you start correcting everyone all of the time then you start wearing your sexuality on your sleeve and it gets awkward. 

I personally haven't come out in professional settings because: 

1) Women typically won't believe you because you're masculine and "straight presenting". They'll ask weird ass questions to vet you out whereas they will befriend the rainbow gays and drop their guards immediately. Even if they befriend you they'll start treating you like one of the girls and want to talk about men together. Yikes

2) Straight men act different around you once they know and have their guard up. They'll be nice enough to your face but will make dick-sucking jokes behind your back. You'll never be "one of the bros"

3) Token diversity. Employers will pretend to be interested in you and your life story and will ask you to step up on their "diversity representation" when everyone treats it like a joke

4) Having to explain myself. I can't admit I stayed out partying at the gay bars and flying to gay events on the weekends because I'll get asked weird questions about my "lifestyle". (tOp oR BoTtOm??????)

Those reasons above have made me feel like I don't belong literally anywhere and it's so much easier to just avoid all of that by being discreet and secretive in a professional setting and just live my life outside of work. 

Everyone is gay in IB?

It's not called ANALysts and ASSociates for no reason.

You'd be perfectly fine being gay at my bank. I think the only thing that would potentially face significant discrimination across the board in 2023 is being trans, as that seems to be far more stigmatized these days. 

Be gay as long as you're not weird about it. See this key and peele:

At the most I've only ever mentioned my girlfriend when people ask what I did on the weekend. Something like "oh yeah I went to X restaurant with my girlfriend" and leave it at that. Better to keep personal things mostly private unless asked and it makes sense to share.

If you said "my husband / boyfriend and I went to the farmers market" I think most people wouldn't have any issue. If you said you went to the pride parade and walked him around on all fours in a leather gimp suit while he barked like a dog it would be a bit much.

Some of the comments in this post are…troubling. 
 

OP asked about the acceptance of gay people in the work place. I think the theme here is coming from a honest place even if perhaps not the most socially correct.
 

I think most everyone I work with widely accepts/respects the LGBTQ community. A large faction of those people have no issue with what others have labeled as the rainbow gays. 
 

The workplace is the workplace. Professional norms are evolved versions of what they have been for the past 50-60 years, which is ultimately that professionalism reigns supreme and stepping outside the box increases risk (of career growth, acceptance, etc.). Not talking sexuality here, but how you interact with people and present yourself. Whether you agree with it or not, or whether it’s right or not (it’s not), I think the point most well-intentioned folks here are trying to make is that outward displays of identity and deviations from the norm (e.g., a flamboyant dude or very masculine female) may be viewed as unprofessional - not because people don’t accept you but because it’s just too personal. Nobody gives two shits about your personal life gay, straight, trans, whatever - your goal should be to assimilate and unfortunately that means falling in line as far as how you dress, carry yourself, interact with colleagues, etc. in a way that best fits with your company’s culture. 
 

You are who you are and you need to pursue the career you want because you can be just as successful as any straight person. Fuck anyone who tells you differently. 

I should be more careful when saying my MD bent me over this weekend with comments

 We have 4 gay people in our team including an MD, no one cares. 

My group head is gay. Hard to know if he’s the pitcher or the catcher.

I think that if you and your analyst class become close, as mine has, you will probably make and take more jokes around race/religion/orientation/etc. Most of my class is not white, and race jokes are pretty common as a way to make eachother laugh when we're getting screwed in the AM. 

But beyond this, I don't hear anything about these topics. 

No one gives a fuck. Just do your work.

I mean it's the sellside. 

Sucking dicks is job description.

Either suck MDs or clients'