Can someone critique my elevator pitch used during networking calls

Hey guys, I've been getting conflicting answers and how long the elevator pitch should be. Some say like a 10-second quick introduction, while for others it's closer to a minute and includes a chunky why IB and the specific bank I'm chatting for. Thanks!

This is the elevator pitch I use right now:

I come from an entrepreneurship background. I had a few online businesses growing up, my dad was also an entrepreneur. In high school I was a self-taught value investor, and started a company distributing investment research. I found it really interesting to analyze businesses and that's why I chose to come to [current school name]. I learned about investment banking when I was doing research on eventbrite. I listened to the founders talk about their journey, and towards the end about the investment bankers that go on the road shows with them and help them sell those companies. So for me investment banking stood out to me as a career where I can analyze companies and help business owners see the fruits of their hard work whether through an IPO or their business being acquired.