Difficulty blending within the Analyst class
Hi Monkeys,
Analyst 1 undergoing training at a BB. I found myself in a tricky position - I cannot relate to most of people in my Analyst class. They all seem like a cool people, it is just that most of them come from affluent backgrounds and share similar hobbies e.g. golf, tennis etc. Whenever they organize a gathering it is in fancy restaurants, pubs and clubs, which was fine for me a first few times, but I do not want to spend my entire salary on going out and enjoying this type of lifestyle.
For context, I come from an underprivileged background and making it to this job is a huge success story for me. I hope that through this gig I can change not only my situation, but also that of my family (parents, siblings).
Bump
Step #1 - stop thinking you don’t blend in. Everyone has insecurities but if you think and act with confidence, you’ll start believing in yourself. No one cares that you didn’t come from an affluent background, it’s in your head. Recognize that, start seeing your fellow analysts as people and try and get to know them as humans, without the noise about background, class and whatnot clouding your thinking. Everyone’s the same, regardless of the costume they wear….
Lol wish we were in the same group you sound like me. though I haven't met all of my class yet to draw conclusions I felt what you did during UG at an ivy too but hey at least they are inviting you out
Yeah man - when your coworker is still using mommy’s credit card to buy clothes and pay rent and you’re helping pay for your own mom’s medical bills and rent, it can get tough and frustrating dealing with their immaturity and lack of life experience.
Remember though, that your friends don’t have to be only your analyst class. As easy as it is to fall back on your group / firm for friends, I would advise you to practice more discretion and be more selective in who you make close friendships with. This isn’t to say stay away from rich people entirely, because that isn’t possible in this industry. Just to know that it’s possible to make friends outside your immediate analyst circle and that will be beneficial to do so.
Assert your dominance by getting blitzed every time you’re at a fancy restaurant, soon you’ll be leading the pack
Very much relate to this feeling as it is something I have gone through my whole life. For reference, I grew up in the Bronx and received heavy financial aid to go to some of the best private schools in NYC that people in this forum know of (Trinity, Dalton, Collegiate, HM, etc) so I always felt out of place. Similarly in college, I went ahead and joined a frat where some of my bros had some ridiculous fam money. Two of my best friends in college are both inheriting >500 mill and many of my good friends growing up who I went to K-12 with are also going to come into a lot of money. But along the way, there were plenty of douchebags and elitists who would flaunt their wealth and my poverty. Ultimately, it is all about finding the good people as someone who has been surrounded in that environment, there will always be dicks but there will also be people who won't care.
I’m afraid being friends with the affluent costs money. Just figure out whether spending money now to hang out with them is worth the gain later in life
It’s unlikely that you’re the only analyst in your class that feels this way. It’s quite likely there are analysts who aren’t necessarily leaders, but will follow the group to whatever is organized, regardless of the cost or if they actually like the activity, for social/networking purposes. To me, you have two main options:
- Create new opportunities - take lead on organizing lower-cost events for the group, or even a subset of the group. If your group enjoys golf and tennis, presumably they’d be down to play pickup basketball or football. You could also host people at your place for a pregame, to watch a game, etc.. just ask everyone to bring some beer
- Modify your behavior at higher-cost events - while this doesn’t apply to every activity you mentioned (e.g., golf), you can still attend dinners at high-end restaurants, bars, etc. and moderate your spending. If anyone asks, you can be honest about trying to save money or use another reason that should be respected by the group (e.g., eating/drinking healthier, weight loss, etc.)
I respect your desire to save money at the outset of your career - many of us have been there before. But also make sure you’re still having a good time and forming unforgettable memories - you’re blessed to have a great, high-paying job with a strong career outlook, so treat yourself every now and then.
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