Discussing mental health during performance review
Fellow monkeys,
I am an Associate 1 and joined an EB as a lateral hire after bonus season earlier this year. Unfortunately, within a couple of weeks after starting the new gig, my mental health started to decline (for reasons unrelated to work) and with it, my performance started to suffer. It took me a while to realize that these are not just difficulties adjusting to a new team and acknowledge that something is truly off. About 4 months into the new gig, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It probably took another 2 months until my treatment yielded results and, by now, I am doing well and am back to normal.
That said, my performance during these first 6 months was abysmal. I missed internal deadlines on several occasions. Had I performed like this as a Summer Associate, I probably wouldn't have received a return offer. As a consequence, I feel like my VPs don't trust me and I don't blame them. Earning back their respect will be an uphill battle that I am mentally prepared for.
With performance reviews around the corner, I have been contemplating bringing my mental health struggles up during the one-on-one discussion with my seniors.
While it's not an excuse for poor performance, I feel like explaining my struggles earlier this year may help put things into perspective. I am not generally a bad performer; I was top bucket in my old gig and I know I can be top bucket again. That said, there is a risk of this backfiring and stigmatizing me. What's more, I can't help but wonder if my fear of getting canned is actually driving this consideration as it may the only thing I can do to gain at least some control over the situation in the short run.
I would appreciate any advice or experience you may have made yourself.
Bump
don't bring it up.
What’s your reasoning?
Absolutely bring it up.
They will ask why you didn't bring it up earlier / when you were going through it (have a response ready) but it offers at least some explanation. If you don't bring it up they will just think you are a poor performer, unreliable, and you could get put on a performance improvement plan (then canned) depend on the bank.
Unfortunately, comp is already set so that won't change.
Appreciate the response. That’s essentially my thought process as well.
My main fear is the potential stigma. I have an idea of how a conversation about this should go, but I am not entirely sure if this is how it would actually go. Then again, I may not have much to lose anyway, lol. Some things to reflect upon over the holidays I guess.
If the conversation diverts off course, relay on both of you staying focused on navigating improvements at every part of the role. Continuous improvement and continuously looking for ways to increase efficiency in processes, formally and informally
It’s not a good idea to formally bring up Americans w Disabilities Act protection or disclosure bc it ends up putting HR on notice - and they initiate going thru their process of basically micromanaging u or whatever they do. You’re now a focus of their attention.
It’s not a good idea IMO but in theory it should be a good idea
i had a similar situation. i figured them thinking i was bad at my job was equally bad or better than telling them i had been struggling with untreated bipolar and anxiety. i never really recovered and i dont entirely blame them (there are a lot of other things i wont get into). i’m headed to a new job, but that’s life i guess. you live and you learn
Why did you think them thinking you were bad at your job was the better choice? Considering you never recovered, would you do it differently in hindsight?
Absolutely do not bring it up. You can get all of the benefits of the conversation without the stigma by proactively (at the beginning of your review before they launch into reviewing you) offering up that you know you struggled to perform earlier in the year due to some issues you had outside of work but that you've rectified it, hope they've seen improvement, bla bla bla.
I agree, I hate to agree, but I do. Blaming anything specific, even if it's a good reason and true, never really works in your benefit. On top of that, mental health is stigmatized more than, e.g. struggling with Covid, family issues, etc.
Instead, you would be better off crafting a specific action plan for what you're going to do next year, discussing that during your performance review and getting feedback. Pivot any historical discussion toward the future with a constructive angle.
Firstly, it's good to hear that you're taking tangible steps to improve your mental health. It's one of the hardest things to be honest with yourself about, and, regardless of where you're employed, you are accountable to yourself above all else.
I think you should do two things at the meeting (and loanboy043 already said this, but I'll reiterate):
1. Identify and verbalize the concerns that your team might have with you and include specific examples. It will show the team that you are taking the daily feedback to heart, and you hold yourself accountable on the things that are in your control.
2. Create a plan going forward geared towards addressing issues you've identified
For example, if you've missed deadlines, say that you will be more communicative in the future, and you will provide interim updates every other day saying what you've done and what you plan to do with the target of achieving the original deadline. Sometimes, when you provide an update, your team might be able to give you interim feedback, like what to focus on or what is less important. This will help not only with hitting deadlines but also for your own education on how your team weighs what is higher value work.
The other benefit of providing interim updates is that you will get tangible milestones on growing your team's trust. Maybe at some point next year, your VP will say "thanks, I don't need an update until next week"; you'll know you're on the right path.
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