Duff & Phelps is comedy

After spending 2018-2021 at Duff & Phelps (now Kroll) and exiting a few of months back, I can now openly make fun of them. The management is hilariously bad and it’s no wonder their reputation as a firm is iffy at best.

Here’s their latest corporate move- the use of acronyms has been banned firmwide. Kroll’s brand new President (took his role 8 weeks ago) sent an email proclaiming that acronyms are not inclusive, and that they are infuriating because some people can’t understand them. 
 


 
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Dude I remember when I worked there (like 3 years ago, non US office) they got private equity investors and started calculating some random per employee metrics. HQ's biggest concern was tracking associate utilisation. What idiots.

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Yep utilization rate is pretty much the only metric considered when management assigns bonuses and promotions. The work is super cyclical, so during off time (2 months per quarter), you're 30-40% utilized (still have to sit in the office wasting time from 8-6) then they expect you to work enough during busy season (1 month per quarter) to average out to 105% utilization. All for $60k. Lol

 
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WOW. His last three bullets are so misguided and stupid. Like excluding most hardo newbies in the industry, most of us use acronyms to signify terms and get concepts across in a concise manner to those who are speaking the same language, such as colleagues or many clients. It's downright dumb to think that acronyms are exclusive or lazy.

 
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I’m sure Duff & Phelps is indeed a joke, but I’ll play devils advocate here and say that I don’t think the sentiment behind this email is that bad. 
 

There are lots of companies that really do go overboard with different acronyms/shorthands for dozens of different internal groups, committees, processes etc. It really does come off as pretentious, annoying and alienating to new joiners. Worked at a place like this and there would be hardos who would rattle off a handful of these when explaining something and not bother to elaborate further and its just like ok dude, sick, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

I think it’s really these types of acronyms that he is trying to address, not common conceptual acronyms that you would use with clients, more internal acroynms within the company. I’m not sure I would bother to make such an issue out of it if I was in his shoes but I get it.

 

I agree with this take. This isn't some guy coming in trying to be ultra woke and saying "we want to be INCLUSIVE", this is someone who's come in and been genuinely confused by a bunch of acronyms and is trying to reduce their usage.

If any of you want to give this a try, find two of your colleagues who are vets and set up a meeting with them.

 

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