Finally got offer for a boutique in SF. I've been working so hard for this. Coming from a non-target school with a shitty GPA, I've had to put in countless hours of networking and interview prep. Just realized something I've never really thought of because I was so focused on breaking in. I've become so close with my group of friends over the past 4 years. They're all going to be working in the NY and I'm starting to realize I'll probably hardly (never) see them again if I go to the west coast. Starting to get the feelz.
Am I being a bitch? Or how did those of you who left everything behind transition with the move?
why are you going to SF if you wanted to be in NY
Non target. Low GPA. Had to take what I could get..
Tough part of life... Fully feel for you. Just have to ask yourself if the benefit is worth the cost.
Last, -- i'd go with your guy, and your gut is prob telling you to move to SF, otherwise you wouldn't have spent all this time gunning for the job.
I've been there.
What you will learn, is the people you care enough to see/ stay in touch with you will. Unfortunately, some good friendships will fade away over time, but so is life.
I went through the same thing as well. Life is changing, and you're leaving a comfortable niche that you've made for yourself in college. I guess I would just say 2 things:
1) Treat SF as a new opportunity to make new friends. I understand most of your friends are in NY but I'm sure there will be some people you know (even if just acquaintances from school) who are going to SF post-grad. Make an effort to get to know them now.
2) You still have 5-6 months of college left. Make the most of it :)
As someone who has changed major cities 3 times I completely agree. Its all about making new friends and just going with the flow.
Keeping in touch is easy. You're in the same country, speaking the same language.
You'll make it work over the years.
Congratulations on your hustle and keep that attitude up at work. It'll take you places.
Your friends might in those places too.
Have some perspective, young one.
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/san-francisco-sucks
Life. OVER.
lol that SF / Seattle thread
OP, take a look at this thread with a grain or bucket load of salt.
Having the opportunity to travel to the other side of the country is great. You'll get exposed to different kinds of ideas and new people, so it won't be terrible. After a year or so with some good experience under your belt, you'll be able to go to NY if you so desire.
That thread IS the bucket load of salt
Realize that no matter the profession, it will never be the same as when you're in college.
For my closest friends (5-6 of them) we try to have a phone call at least every 1 to 2 weeks. The people that care about you the most will stay in your life no matter the distance between you. The rest will fade and that's ok, different people come into your life at different times and for different reasons. On the flip side, you'll make new friends who are just as much if not more interesting than your old friends and will be able to relate to you on a professional level.
You can try to lateral to a bigger bank in NY once you get some experience in SF. Otherwise, just try to make new friends. That's how life is.
what boutique if i might ask?
I was in this exact position.
It took me years to get an offer and when I finally did it was across the coundry. Toughest choice I ever had to make but I went ahead and relocated for my career.
I don't think that I will regret doing it. On top of seismically shifting my future career trajectory for the better, I get to see another part of the country and live an entirely differently life for a few years.
If I stayed back home just so that I could be closer to the same guys I've been getting fucked up with for years, I know I would've regretted it.
The conquered mourns, the conqueror is undone.
-Latin Proverb
I heard this quote in total rome but never understood it, why is the conqueror undone?
I think it has to do with the difficulties of consolidating the conquered. As we have seen historically, conquering is the relatively easy part of empire building. It is the governance of those conquered and holding on to the conquered territories that is extremely difficult. I believe over time that is how the conqueror becomes "undone".
OP is undone after finally conquering/achieving a major goal. For a conqueror, fighting takes over their identity. Once the war is over, that identity dies and they have to return to life as it was before their obsession. During the time they were pursuing that single, defining goal with tunnel vision, they ignored all of their other values and perspectives.
This is like the OP because while he was hustling to get the interview and to advance through the rounds, he totally ignored the fact that he would be moving across the country and saying goodbye to life as he knew it on the east coast.
While pursuing it, he had blinders on but now that he can see the big picture, he has to ask himself if he still actually wants it.
It sucks, but being away from your friends will help you figure out which friendships are enduring.
When I graduated, my friendship group moved all over the place. New York, DC, LA, Beijing, Singapore, Australia, Lilongwe, Boston, Philly, Providence... I don't talk to everyone, but I've seen a few people in person again and we do Skype every now and then. There's also one friend that I talk to every day. It's possible to maintain the friendships that matter.
You gotta move for the job, especially since its your only opportunity. Just crush work, and plan on moving back in 2 years if you find out you don't like it.
Friends are transient. I don't mean this disparagingly, but you'll come to realize in short order just how quickly they move on-even when in the same location. A few years out of school and for the most part, Facebook, the occasional wedding invite, and the "I'm passing through your city let's grab dinner" reunion suffice.
The upside is that you can make new friends just as easily.
So you've got the right idea for now; it'll be all about that work until you get comfortable. Then re-evaluate in a year.
I don't know how helpful it would be in your context, but you should think about how your friendships changed when you went from high school to college. I'm sure you lost some friends in high school, but you definitely gained some new ones in college. Think of it that way when you move to SF.
That sux....now compare your plight to any immigrant living in the U.S. who left their home country for a job that isn't exactly FT at a boutique in San Francisco.
I bet your parents guilted you into finishing all the food on your plate by telling you about all those starving kids in Africa too...
Nope, my parents taught me to man up and not complain like a toddler about things that are just a part of life.
You gotta put some things in perspective. Just a few weeks ago, a kid on WSO was posting about losing his parents and having to take care of his two siblings while going to school....that's a real problem to complain about, not losing your drinking buddies. Come on people. See the link to his post below:
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/i-failed-miserably-at-life-what-…
I'm not saying that it doesn't suck to leave your friends, but it's not the end of the world and certainly not worth complaining about in the grand scheme of things.
I have a couple friends who graduated in the last couple years who went through the same thing (I'm still in school but will probably experience it too). I'd say just make some good memories with your friends in the time that's left for school and just look to the future with some positivity. You got the job, your friends are staying in the country and you're all going to be in finance (I'm assuming). It's a small world, just keep in touch and you'll definitely cross paths at some point if you decide to stay friends. Finance is a small world.
You are going to see which friends are your best friends. Also, you get a chance to try out a different part of the country. I can see how you feel shitty about it, but is bound to happen.
i moved from NY to SF - pretty easy to make friends...
I've worked IB in SF/NY/LA
In my opinion SF is the worst place to be in because of the terrain of the city, the weather, and the hobovilles around every corner.
New York is bar none the best during the warm months but can turn into the apocalypse during the winter months. There have also been quite a few terrorist attacks as of late.
Los Angeles is probably the best overall because it's legit 70-80 degrees during the winter months.
/ who cares where your friends are at, blaze your own trail, and make new friends.
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