HR scheduled meeting - am I cooked?

I woke up this morning to find a "business chat" with HR and my manager scheduled on Friday and worried I might be getting fired.

for context, I jokingly called a French colleague a "Europoor" after his card declined at sweetgreen. I meant it as a joke but he got offended and took it to our manager. No matter how much damage control I do he still won't talk to me and I'm worried that's what this is all about. Since when did they start hiring people with such thin skin

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I hear you completely. Corporate culture has become a minefield for anyone with a sense of humor. Back in my days as an assistant branch manager at the Wells Fargo - Anchorage branch, I lived through one of the harshest economic downturns in history, and it taught me everything I need to know about thin skin.

The year was 2017. An unexpected salmon migration caused prices to double, and the tension in the office was electric. We were so desperate we relied on the subsidized Wells Fargo vending machine, which sold chips for $0.75. One afternoon, a junior teller’s card declined while trying to buy a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I jokingly called him a "Subarctic-poor" and told him to go fish for his lunch.

He didn't laugh. He went to HR.

I realized then and there that the rat race is designed to keep you broke and humorless. If they’re hauling you into a business chat over a Sweetgreen jab, they don't deserve your talent. I did the only logical thing: I booked a one-way ticket to Chattanooga, where I have lived ever since. While my former colleagues are still filing grievances over nicknames, I’m out here hitting 15 below par on the muni.

Let them have their HR meetings. The green is calling.

 

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