Inferiority complex?
Does anyone feel as if they can’t help but feel a sense of inferiority based on prestige because as much you don’t like to admit it, you derive some sense of validation and identity from prestige?
For example, if you were in IB but you exited out to corporate development, whether that was a choice you willingly made or a result of PE recruiting efforts not panning out the way you wanted it to, do you feel regrets? Maybe you’ve made amends with your decision and are pretty content with it since you have this greater quality of life, but at the same time when you compare your career/life trajectory to those of your analyst class peers who stayed on in IB/PE finance, do you feel a sense of regret feeling as if you didn’t achieve your full potential and feel inferior and “not enough”/“less than” those peers?
I think for me at least, that’s how I feel about a lot of the other decisions in my life that opted for something less “prestigious” for the sake of my personal happiness and quality of life. Yet at the same time, as much as I hate to admit it, I derived a sense of pride and identity from prestige and used prestige as a stick to measure my success and accomplishments, and as a result I sometimes feel a tang of regret. Maybe it’s because i’ve always had a slight inferiority complex which is why when I was younger I used to try overcompensate by going to a good school and affiliating myself with like the right circles, but now I think I’ve relatively grown out of that prestige consciousness yet not entirely and whenever I come across others, I feel my sense of insecurities and inferiority kicking in.
Kind of. Don't go by my title. I attended a small LAC for undergrad on big scholarship, got a front office IB job after undergrad, and graduated from Kellogg with a MBA 3 years ago. I always wanted to go to H/S for my MBA and sometimes think how differently I'd be perceived if I had / whether it makes sense to do some AMP program at HBS a decade down the line, so I can call myself a harvard guy
I get what you mean and I thought MBA for those exact reasons. I go to one of the upper mid tier ivies and did MM IB, which I’m fine with but I know it wasn’t the best possible school and firm when compared to other people within my social circle from high school who went to H/S undergrad and did BX/KKR straight out of undergrad (along with having a more powerful wealthier family background and more socially popular).
I realize how superficial and pathetic it is to care about these things because I’m fairly happy and content with my current life and current situation, but whenever I overlap with people from my previous circles, I do feel a sense of “not enough” based on how much they’ve done over the years and how I seem to fall short, and those “superficial” things and concepts of prestige still seem to have a chokehold on how I view both myself and others.
I was born in a developing country, and moved to the US when I was 18 for my undergrad. Compared to my high school circle in my country of birth, by virtue of my education, I have done very well. But I am talking from a bragging POV to be honest. Obviously ppl who matter know my MBA is from a great school, but ONLY SOMETIMES I do get frustrated when I think I can't impress your average joe, because your average joe will not have heard of Northwestern or Kellogg. I think it's the same among ivy leagues. All are great schools OBVIOUSLY, but Harvard/Yale I think are familiar to your average man in any country. When I find myself experiencing such insecurity, I then google things about how great my school / education so I can make myself feel good. It's kind of a dopamine hit tbh
Maybe I am dense but I cannot tell whether your comment is satirical aimed to make fun of me (which I wouldn’t blame you for).
But supposing that it is real, for me, I think I am less concerned with what the average Joe thinks of me; call me pretentious, but I frankly don’t care what the average person thinks of me because their opinion really doesn’t hold weight for me. Like even if I worked at somewhere like centerview, which is very prestigious but not as easily recognizable of a name to the average public, I would rather look down on someone for not knowing what it is than feel frustrated. And also in general, because I grew up fairly privileged and attended a wealthy school where everyone knows what the ivies are, I’ve never had many situations where I’d have to explain what northwestern or Columbia is or clarify that penn isn’t penn state.
But along those same lines, because I went to a fairly wealthy middle and high school, Ive always felt not enough. I grew up with decently wealthy but obviously nothing compared to some of my classmates whose dads were like literal billionaires. I guess those feelings of inferiority motivated me to try to be within the “right” cool social circles and was very “I need to be the best” mentality to be the best to compensate and tried hard to keep up the right appearances, but ever since I went to college and took a more low profile chill social group, I’ve been less prestige chasing, which I don’t mind (if anything, I’m far happier). Yet i won’t deny that sometimes I look back at the people who used to be in my social circle and what they’ve done and achieved compared to me which further reaffirms my constant feeling of not being enough and feeling kind of like a failure
You always chase the top role or school, but funny to realize you are in the top .001% for education in the world.
Honestly, no. Many of my closest friends from college are bankers but I flamed out quickly and took a more chill lifestyle finance job and I think it’s one of the greatest things that ever happened to me - my friends regularly express to me that they wish they had done the same. Prestige matters in some sense but no need to split hairs when the alternative is still a corporate job that most Americans would kill to have.
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