Long Distance Relationship in IB

I'll be starting this summer in investment banking working at an eb in sf but my gf will be living in NYC. My team is not big on facetime - can I realistically travel to NYC for a weekend to visit once a month or so? I can likely work out of our NYC office while I'm there as there is precedent for this.

Please let me know your thoughts / if this is feasible. I intend to lateral or transfer to NYC fully after about a year. Thanks!

7 Comments
 

Based on the most helpful WSO content, maintaining a long-distance relationship while working in investment banking is challenging but not impossible. Here are some key considerations and insights:

  1. Travel Feasibility:

    • If your team is not big on facetime and there is precedent for working out of the NYC office, visiting once a month could be feasible. However, keep in mind that IB schedules are highly unpredictable, and last-minute work demands could disrupt your plans.
    • Some users have shared that even short-distance relationships (e.g., 1-hour apart) can be easier than being in the same city during the first year due to reduced pressure to meet frequently.
  2. Communication and Expectations:

    • Honest communication with your girlfriend is crucial. Discuss the potential challenges, such as canceled plans, missed calls, and limited availability.
    • Establish clear boundaries and signals, like a phrase ("I'm in the tunnel") to indicate when you're fully focused on work. This can help manage expectations and reduce misunderstandings.
  3. Commitment and Balance:

    • Both partners need to be equally committed to making the relationship work. If either of you starts feeling unsupported or neglected, it could lead to strain.
    • When you do visit, ensure you're fully present and engaged during your time together. It's not just about showing up but also about making the time meaningful.
  4. Career Prioritization:

    • Some users emphasize that your career is a significant investment, and if the relationship starts holding you back, it might be worth reevaluating. However, others argue that having a supportive partner can be a source of strength during demanding times.
  5. Long-Term Plans:

    • Your intention to transfer to NYC after a year is a positive step. Having a clear timeline for closing the distance can provide reassurance and motivation for both of you.

In summary, visiting NYC once a month is possible if your team allows flexibility, but it requires careful planning, strong communication, and mutual commitment. Be prepared for the challenges and ensure both your career and relationship goals align.

Sources: IB + Long Distance Relationship, Best neighborhoods to live WITH GF in NYC (and timing) - 1st year IB Analyst Midtown Summer 2019, I hate banking, what to do?

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

Did 2 hour time difference through analyst years. Definitely prioritized visits every ~6 weeks (4 days in office, so Thursday night red eye and return Monday morning ) in addition to calling at night for even 10-15 minutes. Communication and trust the most important thing though for it to be successful.

 

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